Chapter 24
twenty-four
Tessa
I’m pacing at the front entry, waiting to see headlights.
I got a call from Hazel that she was at the bar and Killian was not doing well. Then fifteen minutes later, I got a text that Everett was driving him home and was going to need help getting him in the house.
The foyer brightens as the truck pulls up. I head outside as Everett is climbing out. “Hey,” he says.
“Hey, Hazel said you’d need help?”
He nods. “He’s passed out. Maybe between the two of us we can get him inside.”
Great. “Let’s try.” Killian is snoring in the front seat, face plastered against the side of the window. “If you open that door, he’s going to just flop out,” I warn.
“That’s half the fun,” Everett jokes, or at least I think he’s joking.
Thankfully, Killian stays passed out. Everett climbs in the front and I watch from the window as his beautiful green eyes open after Everett slaps his cheeks a bit.
“Tessa, my angel.”
Oh boy.
I open the door carefully. “Hey there. Do you think you can walk inside?”
“Your bed or mine?”
I snort a laugh. “Yours.”
“Just like our first night,” he slurs. “The sex was great then.” I glance at Everett who is just grinning. “The way your mouth was when you were on your—”
“Stop talking,” I say quickly, putting my hand over his mouth. “Let’s get you inside. You need to sleep this off.”
“Only with you, baby.”
This time Everett laughs. “This is so much better than the shit he was saying with me.”
I’m sure it is.
I loop my arm around Killian, and he slides out of the truck, resting against the side with his head back. “I’m drunk.”
“Yes, you are.”
His eyes open and he looks at me. “It’s your fault.”
“I’m sure it is.”
“You made me like you.”
I laugh once. “Ditto, buddy.”
He lifts his arms, drapes them around my neck. “I like you, and I wanted to keep you.”
“No more talking, Killian.”
“Please, keep going,” Everett encourages. “I’m pretty sure I just won the bet.”
I have no idea what bet he’s talking about, but he’s supposed to be helping me. Instead, I have a very drunk, very heavy man hanging on me as I try to walk us inside. “Some help, please?”
Everett comes around and throws Killian’s other arm over his shoulder, taking some of the weight. Killian turns his head to his friend. “I don’t get to keep her, Ev.”
I roll my eyes. He’s a very chatty drunk.
“We usually have to fight for them, my friend,” Everett informs him.
“Can’t fight. Can’t talk. Can’t have her.”
“Can’t stop talking,” I say as we finally get him in the front door.
He turns to me. “I’m being quiet.”
“You’re really not. Come on, a few more steps and then you can be in bed.”
“But not with you, angel,” Killian says almost as though he’s singing. “I can’t have you again, can I?”
I’m not even going to dignify this with a response. Mostly because his friend looks like he’s enjoying this way too much. I have no idea if he told them that I’m not just his publicist, I’m also best friends with his daughter, and I don’t plan to offer up that information.
We finally make it into the living room, only a few stumbles along the way.
I open his bedroom door, and then we get him to the bed.
Everett pretty much drops him and then lets out a laugh.
“Well, I gotta go. As much as I would love to hear what the hell brought him so low, Violet sent me a text that she’s not feeling well. ”
“Thank-you for driving him.”
“Of course. Listen, for what it’s worth, he really likes you.”
“I like him too,” I admit.
“Then, whatever the hell had him going to get drunk, you guys should find a way to work through it. Trust me, losing someone you could’ve had a future with never gets easier.”
Killian lifts a hand. “Preach!”
“Oh for fuck’s sake,” I mutter.
Everett laughs and then winks at me. “Goodnight, Tessa.”
“Goodnight.”
He heads out, and I look down at the drunk hot mess in front of me. I could leave him like this, but he’s going to hate himself enough in the morning as it is. I sigh and make my way over, staring down at him. “You reek of alcohol.”
He opens one eye. “I tried to drink the memories away.”
“Did it work?”
“Nope.”
I grin. “Let me take your shoes off and get you to bed.”
He doesn’t fight me as I remove each shoe, tossing them into his closet. Then I try to grab his legs to get him under the covers, but he’s like a damn boulder. He groans and finally I’m able to shift him enough.
Next he needs a bottle of water and if I can get him to choke down some medicine, that would be ideal. I head into the kitchen, grabbing it and the Tylenol, then come back in. He’s lying there, eyes closed, and I debate waking him.
He looks so…sad.
I sit on the bed and run my fingers through his hair. “Killian?”
He groans my name. “Tessa.”
I smile, even though right now, it doesn’t feel like there’s much to smile about, but even in his drunken stupor, he’s thinking of me.
Not that it changes a damn thing.
“Killian, wake up, you need to take this.”
His eyes slowly open. “You’re here.”
“Yes, and you’re drunk. Here, drink some water.”
“Tessa,” he sighs my name. “Don’t leave me.”
“I’m not leaving you. I’m just saying you need to drink some water.”
He shakes his head. “No, I mean, after the water. Stay.”
The tightening in my chest makes it hard to breathe. “Please, take the water and the medicine.”
“Only if you promise.”
Great, now this is a freaking negotiation. “Okay, fine, I’ll stay if you drink this.”
He grins and then leans up, taking the water. I watch as he gulps it down, then throws the pills back and swallows those. “Now, come here.”
“What?”
“You promised you’d stay.”
“Yes, and I’m going to stay in my room.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
Killian somehow moves quickly, hooking his arm around my hip and throwing me, yes, throwing me over onto the bed.
I squeak and then try to move, but he has a good hold of me, pulling me closer and locking his legs around mine.
“Killian!”
“I need you,” he confesses.
I stop squirming and look into his eyes. “What?”
“I need you, Tessa. Tonight. I need tonight. I need to hold you. Please.” There is a deep ache in his voice, and I feel it in my heart.
A deep sigh escapes, and I feel the fight start to leave me. “Just to sleep,” I tell him—and really myself more than anything. “Because I’m worried about leaving you this drunk and alone.”
People have had really bad things happen. He could fall, he could choke, there are a million things, right?
It would be irresponsible of me to leave him.
“Just to sleep,” he agrees.
The lights are bright as hell, and before I can say anything, he tells the home smart system to turn all the lights off and set the alarm.
Apparently he’s not too drunk to do that or haul me around.
I shift my body, and he loosens his hold around me a little. My head rests on his arm and we’re facing each other.
“Sleep, angel,” he tells me.
I wish I could, but my mind is running in circles. Worse than when he left. Now, I think about all the things he said. How he keeps asking me to stay. How I really fucking want to stay.
All of this is too much, and yet not enough.
He moves his hand slowly up my back, stopping between my shoulder blades, and his head lowers, until his forehead is resting against mine.
It feels so damn good being close to him.
My palm sits on his chest, and the pounding of his heart is in time with mine.
His breathing evens out, and I relax a touch since he’s asleep.
“I wish this could be my life,” I confess so softly as not to wake him.
“After today, I was ready to think it was possible.” He doesn’t move and I continue on, “I hate that it’s not. ”
Killian moves, and I freeze, hoping he didn’t hear any of that.
His eyes slowly flutter open and he stares at me. “It could be. You just have to want to fight for it.”
On the second to last word, his eyes close again, and he lets out a snore.
I stay awake for most of the night as I contemplate what he said and what I can even do.
When I woke up, Killian was gone.
I was alone in his bed, exhausted, emotionally drained, and confused as hell.
He not only left the bed, he left the farm.
Gary said he had a meeting with the guys from Cole Security. It was important, and he was gone without giving much more information.
I tried to call him, to find out what the hell the update was, but it went straight to voicemail.
Instead of sitting around, I decided that I needed to do something. Something that would help me make a decision about what I want regarding staying here or going back to New York—and also face the truth that I already know what I want.
So, I’m standing at Meredith’s door with a bottle of tequila and a whole lot of fear.
I lift my hand to knock, but the door opens and she’s there. “I was wondering what the hell you were doing out here.”
I lift the bottle. “We need to talk.”
She stares at our tried and true truth serum and sighs. “Well, this is going to be bad.”
That it is. “I just think certain talks require certain things.”
Meredith takes a step back. “Come on then. We only drink this when we are in pain or know we’re about to be.”
“Can it be both?”
Her eyes widen. “That’ll be new for us, but I’m sure it’s possible.”
Jake comes down the stairs, reading something on his phone. “Oh, hey, Tessa. I didn’t know you were coming over.”
“I didn’t either.”
He looks at the bottle. “Oh fuck.”
Meredith and I both laugh. Too many times Jake found us drunk as hell, crying or laughing beyond hysterics.
She walks over to her husband and kisses his cheek. “You look scared.”
“I am scared. If you have tequila, it means the two of you are about to be out of control and I have to, somehow, handle you.”
“I think you’ve done a great job so far.”
He eyes her warily. “I’m not so sure of that. Remember that tomorrow we have breakfast with my boss, okay?”
She nods. “I promise I won’t get too drunk.”