CHAPTER SIX #2
Nate bent over her shoulder, his chest brushing against her arm. He touched a file on the screen, and as it popped open, he said, "This is where I had Don's daughter scan all the invoices. Do you need me to go through them with you?"
Lily tried to keep herself focused on Nate's words, not his nearness or the familiar scent of his cologne. "Not unless you've changed things significantly over the past few years."
"No." She felt him straighten. "Everything is the same."
Lily looked at him as he moved to the side of the desk. "You don't need to hang around here while I do this. If I have any questions, I'll give you a call or save it for later."
His eyes narrowed briefly. "Trying to get rid of me?"
"There's no sense in both of us being tied up here when it only takes one to do this. I'm sure there are other more important things that could use your attention."
Nate stared at her, his face expressionless. "Yes, you're probably right." He turned away from her and headed for the door.
"Is your number still the same?" Lily called after him.
He stopped then swung back around. "Yes. It, too, is still the same."
Lily stared at the empty doorway once he'd left.
There had been an undercurrent of...something.
..emanating from him. Anger? That's what it had felt like.
Though she knew Nate could get as angry as the next guy, that anger had never been directed toward her.
Whatever he'd been feeling in that moment had definitely been flowing her way.
Pushing aside her thoughts, Lily stood for a moment and slowly stretched her back and legs. If she was going to be sitting for a while, she needed to make sure she took breaks to keep from getting too sore. Then it was down to work on the mess that was Nate's bookkeeping.
~*~*~
Nate stomped on the accelerator of his truck when he got on the highway.
The big vehicle surged up to the speed limit in no time flat.
He fought the urge to edge it up, but the last thing he wanted was to have to rely on the sheriff's understanding and goodwill to avoid a speeding ticket.
Keeping an eye on the speedometer, he felt relief slowly overtake the frustration as he put distance between himself and the manor.
Try as he might, Nate just couldn't seem to keep his life from spinning even more out of control than it already had. Ever since that night almost three years ago, nothing had gone right.
"I'm sorry, Nate. I just don't think it's going to work for us." Though Lily's voice was determined, all Nate saw on her face was tension and weariness.
Pain engulfed his heart and took his breath away. Fighting past the agony that was slowly spreading through his body, Nate asked, "How can it suddenly not work for us? It's been working fine for almost seven years. What's changed?"
"Me." Lily laid a hand over her heart.
"Is there someone else?" He had to force the words out.
Her eyes widened as she shook her head. "No, please don't think that. This is just about me. I need to..." Her words trailed off as her brow furrowed. "I need to do more than just hang around Collingsworth. I want...more. To travel. See the world."
Nate's eyes closed briefly as he recalled the conversation he'd had with her several months back about traveling.
When she'd mentioned taking a trip somewhere, he'd immediately shot it down.
After all, he had responsibilities there with his dad and the business.
"If I said I'd be willing to take a trip with you every few months would that change things? "
Her mouth tightened. "You and I both know that would never happen. You have responsibilities here. And you're not the type of man to shirk those."
Nate's shoulders slumped. She was right.
His priority would always be his father and the business.
As he stared at Lily standing in front of him, her hair glinting in the sunlight, he knew that he hadn't even given her the priority he should have.
Maybe this was just what he deserved. "Is there anything I can say or do that will make you change your mind about us? "
Lily shook her head. "I think this is for the best. You need someone who is content to stay here in Collingsworth. That's not me."
"But do we have to break up? Can’t you just travel and then come back?"
Again she shook her head. "That's not fair to you or to me." She reached up and touched the outside edge of her eye, almost as if it were paining her. "This really is what is best for both of us."
It hurt to think that this felt right to her, because it certainly didn't feel that way to him. He’d always assumed she’d be there for him forever. He’d just taken that for granted. He'd hoped that they would have a relationship similar to the one his parents had. Before his mom had gotten sick.
After that, his parents' relationship had changed.
Though his dad had done his best to care for her, his mom had struggled with the burden she'd placed on her husband and son.
That meant there had been days when she was angry.
The next day she'd be depressed. The only good day was the one where she felt she was able to do things on her own.
But she'd always paid for it the day after, which would then lead to more angry and depressed days.
But even with that, Nate had been willing to pledge to be with Lily forever. He just couldn't imagine his future without her in it.
Lily slid the ring off her finger and held it out to him. "I'm sorry."
She really did seem to be sorry. Her beautiful green eyes were liquid with unshed tears. If it hurt her this much, too, how could it be the right thing?
He didn't want the ring. Refused to take it.
A tear spilled down her cheek as she took a step toward him.
She placed her hand on the side of his face and leaned forward to touch her lips to his briefly.
He wanted to grab her and hold on. To keep her lips pressed to his.
He was going to have to go the rest of his life without ever feeling her in his arms again.
Without ever looking into her eyes to see them sparkling with love for him.
She took his hand, turned it palm up and placed the ring there. Using both her hands, she closed his fingers around the ring and held on for just a second before letting go and stepping back. "Take care of yourself, Nate."
Pain shredding his heart, Nate watched as she walked away from him.
Don't go! he wanted to shout after her, but he knew there was no use.
When Lily made up her mind, there was no changing it.
Except for him. At one time, he'd thought she'd decided to be with him.
Something had changed her mind. And as he watched her determinedly walk out of his life, Nate knew he had better not hold his breath that she'd change her mind once more.
Angry with himself for allowing his mind to take that trip down memory lane, Nate swung the truck to a stop in his parking spot next to the garage.
He sat behind the wheel for a few minutes trying to regain his composure.
His gaze drifted to the blackened structure next to the garage that had once been his home.
Right now, his heart felt a bit like it had been wrecked in the same way.
But he refused to focus on that right now either.
His past with Lily had to be off limits.
There was too much that needed his attention in the present to allow things from the past to keep taking up his time and emotions.
And there was no sense in beating on a door that led nowhere.
He should have accepted that years ago, but instead he'd allowed himself to harbor hope in his heart that one day Lily would come back.
Well, she had returned. Just not to him.