Chapter 11
“Don’t.” Joanne shoves my hands away when I reach them up past her hips to lift off the sweater she’s wearing. I don’t care that I’m in the middle of fuckin’ her, I pull out and take a step back.
“You’re tellin’ me what’s wrong, right now.” I stare at her through our reflection in the bathroom mirror.
“I’m just a little sensitive.” She turns around with a real sheepish look on her face.
“No, you”re bullshittin’ me. You’ve had that same worried look on your face for ages. All this fuckin’ with the lights off and keepin’ your clothes on, ain’t you, Joanne. And now, I’m not even allowed to touch you?” I’m yelling at her because I don’t know where her head’s been at lately, but it sure as hell ain’t been here with me.
“Don’t yell.” She rests her ass against the basin unit that I’ve been tryin’ to screw her over and bites her nails nervously.
“Then tell me what the fuck’s wrong with ya so I can fix it. It’s like you’ve gone all body conscious all of a sudden.”
“I’ve just put on a little weight, okay?” She shrugs, trying to make out that it’s no big deal to her when clearly it fuckin’ is.
“Jo, the fact you even think that would bother me pisses me off. Now, tell me what’s really going on here. Because this is confusin’ the hell outta me. You wanna have sex all the time, but I’ve either got to drill ya from behind or promise not to touch ya. What’s with that?”
Joanne looks terrified and just about ready to burst into tears, which is starting to get me really panicked.
“Joanne?” I’m trying my best to remain calm because I don’t wanna scare her anymore, but it ain’t easy when I know she’s keepin’ somethin’ from me.
“Okay.” She lets out a long, heavy sigh. “But you have to promise not to be mad.” Her hands are physically shaking when she lifts up the front of her sweater.
My eyes widen when I realize what she’s showing me.
Just above the waistline of the panties she’s wearing, there is a very prominent roundness to her stomach.
“I’m sorry, and I swear I didn’t do it on purpose. I’ve hated keeping it from you but?—”
“What?” I keep looking at it and wondering how the hell I didn’t notice it before. I’m no obstetrician but I know it takes a good few months before a woman starts to show like that, and Mary-Ann never stopped complaining about the things she suffered when she was pregnant with Hayley.
“How long have you known about this?” I question her, rubbing my hand over my mouth and continuing to stare at the bombshell she just dropped.
“I found out later than I should have because I kept putting off taking a test. I told myself the pill I was taking had stopped my periods and that I was feeling sick because I’ve constantly been lying to my parents. But I found out a little over a month ago for sure.
“A month?” I stare at her in shock.
“I knew that you’d be mad and I drove myself to a doctor out of town with every intention of getting an abortion, but then they insisted on giving me an ultrasound. They told me I was already 12 weeks and when I saw it on the screen it looked like a proper little baby. I just couldn’t do it.” She shakes her head and starts to cry. “I’m sorry, Jimmer. I know I’ve just made your situation a whole lot worse and?—”
“Hey. No.” I suddenly realize I”m handling this all wrong and step closer so I can take her in my arms. “I don’t want ya to be sorry for that. I’m just mad you’ve known about this for a whole month and haven’t told me.” I slide my hand over the ridge of her stomach and watch her frown in confusion.
“So, you”re not mad about the baby?”
“Why would I be mad about that? I told you what my plans are for this club. All of ‘em involve you.”
“I worried you’d think I did the same thing Mary-Ann did. I thought?—”
“Stop, I would never think that,” This feels so different from when Mary-Ann told me she was pregnant. I don’t feel any fear, in fact, I kinda feel on top of the world about it. “I’m glad this has happened,” I admit.
“Are you crazy?” Joanne pushes me away and the look on her face ain’t matching my elation. “Jimmer, this is a disaster, do you have any idea what my parents are gonna say?” Her hands lift up so she can grip at her hair.
“They can say what they damn well like. You ain’t gonna be livin’ with ‘em anymore.”
“Do you really think it’s gonna be that simple? That I’m just gonna become your next baby mama?” She laughs at me and her words hurt enough to make me take a step back from her.
“I’m sorry, did you want me to be mad about this? D’ya want me to freak out and tell you the world’s fuckin’ over for ya? I’m happy about the fact we made somethin’ good. Forgive me for wantin’ to support you and make you feel secure right now when I can see how scared you are. Jesus, Joanne, I’m sorry that you think being pregnant with my kid is such a fuckin’ disgrace.” I pick up my shirt from the bathroom floor and leave real quick before I lose my temper. Her reaction to all of this only proves what I’ve always been wary of. I ain’t good enough for her.
“Yo, Prez, you in?” Hearing Jessie call through the house brings me back to the here and now, and I sit up on my bed and wait for my head to stop spinning.
“What ya doin’ in here? Takin’ an afternoon nap, old man?” He laughs when he sees that I’m still in bed.
“I ain’t been sleepin’ all that well,” I admit, dragging myself up and lifting my cut from the bedpost.
“Tawk tried callin’ you a few times so he contacted me instead.” I can tell it ain’t good news that he’s got to share from the way he drops his eyes to the floor.
“Well, go on then.” I move through the bedroom door and out toward the kitchen in need of a fuckin’ coffee.
“Apparently, Willow overheard her dad talkin’ with Rex. Somethin’s goin’ down this weekend with Lambroni.”
“Lambroni?” I massage my temple because this is really starting to hurt my head.
“He’s been storin’ supply for them in some dock unit that only a select few club members know about. Willow swears she heard him talkin’ about shifting it this weekend, but she didn’t hear enough to know where to.”
“Shit.” I grip the kitchen counter with both my hands and hang my head. I knew Cliff had some ties with the Lambroni brothers from the information Maddy got me, but I didn’t think he’d be stupid enough to be working it so close to home.
“If Burlusconi hears about this he’s gonna want our heads.” Jessie looks as worried as I am.
People like Raoul Burlusconi work with my club because I guarantee loyalty. It goes without saying that my members going rogue and shifting for his biggest rival is gonna piss him the fuck off.
“We need to make this takedown happen, and we need to make it happen fast,” Jess points out the fuckin’ obvious.
“Is Tawk in danger?” I check, closing my eyes and realizing that this is not gonna be easy to resolve. I’m not a fool, I know Tawk’s main objection for leaving us and heading to Long Beach was to chase pussy, but he’s also been doing a good job of being our eyes… Knowing that it comes with its risks.
“He tells me he’s fine, he assures me we got some solid members looking out for him.” Jess nods, it’s proof that these days when it comes to our club brothers, my VP knows more than I do.
“I don’t even know who we can trust anymore, Jess.” I slide my hand through my hair and take a deep breath. “All I do know is that we gotta be real smart about this.”
“We’re always smart.” He winks, slapping my shoulder before he heads out the door.
“You comin’, Prez?” He looks back over his shoulder when he realizes I ain’t following after him. I stare at the man who was the twelve-year-old little boy who I found crying in a wardrobe all those years ago, and I can’t help feeling a huge sense of pride take over all my concerns.
“Of course, I’m fuckin’ comin’.” I smile and follow after him.
* * *
“Not tonight.” I shake my head at Haven when she tries unzipping me.
“I’m starting to think you’ve gotten bored of me.” She dances her fingers across my chest and irritates the shit outta me.
“I’m getting bored of havin’ to explain myself.” I grab my drink and knock it back. I came into my members-only bar for some peace and quiet. The club always gets rowdy on a Friday night, it’s full of hangouts and not the place I wanna be right now.
“It’s ever since she’s been here. You still love her, don’t you?” Haven looks hurt as she pulls away from me.
“Who the fuck are you talkin’ about?” I try to act clueless. These days it’s my only defense.
“You know who I’m talking about. Why are you even pretending?”
“I’m not pretendin’ anythin’.” I sigh, really growing tired of this bullshit. Haven ain’t my old lady, so why the fuck is she giving me shit like one?
“Why don’t ya go see if that new sheriff of ours wants keepin’ sweet? He likes you,” I dismiss her before topping up my glass, and yet she remains still.
“You know it hurts when you do that.” She crosses her arms and stares at me judgingly.
“Do what?” I question her.
“Treat me like a whore, pass me off to whoever you think deserves a little pat on the back from Prez.” She scowls.
I think this bitch is forgetting who she’s speaking to, yet somehow, despite my mood, I manage to humor her.
“Haven, when have I ever given you the impression that you’re more than a whore to me?” I know I’m being a dick, but Haven really needs to fuckin’ drop her attitude.
“It’s been a long time. I’ve never questioned you. I behave like an old lady. I take care of you like one. I even keep the girls in line. I deserve better than this.”
“And what do you think you deserve, darlin’?” I take a seat and stare at her.
“You know what I deserve. I should be on your saddle, Jimmer.”
I spit my whiskey out when I realize she’s being serious.
“You wanna be my old lady?”
“Is that so hilarious?” She looks back at me as if I’ve hurt her.
“Yeah, it fuckin’ is.”
“Why? Everyone else here is settled. All around you, you got people who are happy and in love, why don’t you want that for yourself?”
“You know why. I told you about what happened last time I got myself an old lady,” I remind her.
“I’m not Mary-Ann. I’ve been your main girl for years, and not once have I even thought about trapping you the way she did. Believe me, there have been opportunities.”
“Gee, thanks, Haven, you really do deserve your gold fuckin’ watch, don’t ya?”
“A little respect wouldn’t go amiss.” She holds her head up high.
“You have respect. Not once have you ever been touched by someone you didn’t want. You came to this club with an addiction, and I got you back on your feet. The door’s always been open for ya to leave. You could have walked out of it at any time. That”s always been clear to you, and all the others.” I stand up and head out of it myself.
All this is far too heavy for a Friday fuckin’ night. I step through the foyer and back into the main barroom, ignoring all the chaos and heading straight for the bar.
“Hello, Jimmer.” I get the shock of my fuckin’ life when the female standing beside me turns around and I realize it”s Agent Consuela. She’s dressed differently than she usually is, blending in with her surroundings in the tight blue jeans and leather jacket she’s wearing.
“Doin’ a little undercover work?” I keep my cool and snigger, nodding my head to Jade who’s working the bar to get me something poured.
“Nah, I’m off the clock. Figured I should kick back and relax since it”s the weekend and all.”
If I didn’t know better, I’d say this little minx was flirting with me.
“We don’t usually let your kind in,” I point out, twisting my body and resting my elbows back on the bar so I can survey the room.
“I don’t know… Isn’t that Sheriff Armstrong over there getting his cock sucked?” She directs her eyes over to the couches on the back wall where sure enough, our town’s new sheriff is getting swallowed up by one of the club”s whores.
“Everyone deserves a little downtime. I could arrange for you to get some yourself, if you want? Jade here specializes in pussy.” I look back over my shoulder and Jade winks at me.
Agent Consuela doesn’t look at all shocked, but she does drop the subject.
“So, come on, tell me why you”re here?” I ask again.
“I’m just taking in the vibe, seeing how happy everyone looks. I’m assuming you haven’t told them all that they”re going to jail.” She takes a sip from her beer bottle casually.
“No one here’s goin’ to jail,” I tell her straight.
“Whoa… Prez, who’s your friend?” Squealer interrupts, stepping up to the bar and leaning heavily on my shoulder.
“She’s not a friend, just a hangout.” I keep my eyes fixed on hers as I answer his question.
“Well, I’m sorry, darlin’, but this man right here is the last of us that”s left.” Squeal pats me hard on the back and I watch the corners of the uptight bitch’s mouth lift into a smile.
“He’s the one I came for.” She stares me right back. “And believe me…” She shifts a little closer so we both hear her clearly. “I always get what I want.” Her eyes burrow into mine for a few more seconds before she finishes her beer, places it on the bar, and struts toward the door.
“That, right there, looked a lot like a promise.” Squeal shakes my shoulders before he heads off to join his brother.