Chapter 29
Chapter
Twenty-Nine
XAVI
We’ve been quiet over the last few days. I think we’re both thinking about the meeting with our attorneys. We covered a lot. We talked for hours, especially once we got to our new contract. It felt as though I was losing my voice by the end of the meeting, even though I wasn’t the only one talking.
I was exhausted too. That didn’t stop us from getting sexy after that short talk in bed. Clothes off, frotting on my bed. Tangled in the sheets, kissing sensually. It wasn’t as urgent as it felt in the past.
Urgent might not be the right word. I know the feeling—like we’re hypnotized by the feeling that all we want is to get to the end and get off. Frenzied? Hungry.
It wasn’t like that. It was slow and sweaty and almost more focused on kissing than on what our bodies were doing. Breathless. In a way, even though we didn’t speak, it felt like we shared more than orgasms. As if I could feel him inside my chest, my lungs, my fingertips.
We’ve spent more moments like that over the three days. Speaking very little but remaining in each other’s company. It doesn’t feel heavy. I don’t think he’s upset at all. I’m not even sure I think he’s rethinking.
It’s just… quiet.
I glance back at him. We’re sitting beside the pool, our feet in the water. Enfield is lying on his back, hands under his head. His shirt is raised a bit, so I can see a peek of his skin. The dark trail of hair disappears into his pants.
“You okay?” he asks.
Sighing, I nod and give him a smile. “Yeah. Are you?”
He nods. “I am. Just… thinking that this entire thing is a little surreal.”
I shift a little so I’m not twisted quite so much just to see him. “What do you mean?”
“There’s an end in sight. It’s almost over.”
His words make my lungs seize. Chills race down the backs of my arms. Almost over.
His hand closes around my wrist, and I blink so he comes back into vision. He tugs me gently, and I crawl over him and lie on his chest. Great. Now he can feel the way my heart races with anxiety.
“You and I aren’t almost over. Just… this part that neither of us asked for.”
“I kind of asked for it.”
“You asked to be paired with an angry straight guy, did you?”
I press my lips together as he grins at me. “No. I didn’t ask for that.”
“You had just as much to take out of the original contract as I did. So, my statement stands. Neither of us asked for this.”
“You’re not wrong, I suppose. But you say almost over, and it just feels like… there’s nothing that comes after.”
“I’m sorry. This part is coming to an end. The part we’re signing up for lies ahead. Better?”
“Yes, thanks.”
Enfield chuckles. His fingers brush through my hair, and he closes his eyes.
For a minute, I just look at him. I’m not sure I’ve taken the time to really look at him.
Yes, he’s handsome with his dark hair and devil-may-care facial hair and style, but now I can see his lines.
Refined and lean. He has a proper aristocratic nose.
I don’t know what that means, but he does.
His eyebrows are a little thick, but that might be because they’re dark. When open, his eyes are very light blue, but from a distance, they look more gray than blue. I shift a little and realize he has earrings. One in each ear. Small, thick gold rings. Huh.
“Studying me?” he asks, lips curling though his eyes are closed.
“Yes. I haven’t really looked at you. Seeing if I want to look at you for the rest of my life.”
“A little late for that consideration.”
“Not true. We haven’t signed the contract yet.” As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I regret them. They’re not wrong. I just don’t want Enfield to change his mind.
I also don’t want to trap him like his parents did. I want this to be his choice.
“Why is your heart racing?”
My eyes rise to his. “I don’t want you to change your mind,” I say quietly. Hearing the words out loud makes my chest tight.
“I’m not going to.”
“But you didn’t want a contract at all.” I don’t know why I’m arguing with him. Am I trying to self-sabotage?
Enfield nods a little. “You know what I keep thinking?” I shake my head. “I don’t know who I am at all.”
My eyebrows pull together. “What do you mean?”
“I think I was thirteen when I first told my mother I didn’t want the contract.
I wanted my trusts because I’m an heir, and I wanted my company shares because I was going to earn them.
But I didn’t want the contract. If I chose to marry, I wanted it to be on my terms and to whomever I wanted.
That was very shortly after my thirteenth birthday.
Up to that point, I had a great relationship with my parents.
I’d always thought they were amazing parents—loving, indulgent, patient, thoughtful.
They had expectations for grades and whatever, but they weren’t unreasonable.
But when my mother and father both told me that wasn’t an option, the image of them shattered.
It’s not that I hadn’t been told no before.
I’m not that spoiled. But on anything big that they didn’t agree on, we’d always talked about it until we came up with a solution that we all agreed with.
Not this time, though. There was no conversation.
No negotiation. No alternative. This was my future as their son. ”
“Wow.”
Enfield nods a little, but I don’t know that it’s necessarily in response to me. He’s not looking at me either. I’m not sure he’s seeing anything other than his memories right now.
“From that day on, more and more, my time was filled with finding a way out of that future with my familial rights intact. When I was young, it was primarily with arguments. Promises. Bargains. As I got older, I was determined to find a loophole. When I went to college, it began to be about how I could make myself look so awful to another family willing to hand over their daughter to me that they’d change their mind.
My entire life for more than thirteen years has been consumed by this one thing. ”
He pauses, closes his eyes. “I’m not sure who I am outside of this. The Undergrove disaster heir is my identity. When it’s over? I don’t have any idea who I am or how I’ll spend my days.”
“You’ll spend your days with me and your kids,” I tell him. “I’m the only new part in that. You already spend your days with your kids. You talked to them this morning, didn’t you?”
Enfield smiles. The first real smile since we began talking. “Yeah. Sarah is at Amelia’s, so all three of my kids were together. I’m so thankful that they agreed to let the kids be siblings. Even when I’m not physically there.”
“See? Your days are less fighting than you think.”
“No. Even when I was with my kids, my brain was still fighting. Desperate to find a way to get my trusts, so I can take care of my kids. Which brings up another trait that I’ve lived with for so long—anger.
Every time I looked at one of my kids, and recalled all the bullshit.
” He shakes his head. “Which is stupid, right? I don’t want my kids to have anything to do with this contract shit, and yet, I’m furious that my family refuses to recognize them as my heirs.
My single personality trait has been angry for years. ”
“You’re not angry right now, are you?”
His eyes meet mine. “No. I’m so damn tired. I feel like I want to take a nap for the next year or two.”
I scoot up his body and press a kiss to his chin. He smiles softly in response. “As you said, it’s almost over. Then we move closer to your kids and begin building our life together. On our terms.”
Enfield sighs. Maybe it’s because I’m lying on top of him, but I swear, I can feel him shed stress like it’s another skin. I think I can also feel how tired he is. His spirit feels tired.
His fingers move gently through my hair again. “I’m still very surprised you looked out for my kids as much as you did when we were talking about our new contract.”
I shrug one shoulder. “They’re not temporary, so they need to be talked about. Besides, it’s helpful for me to understand expectations when I know how they fit into each aspect of our life together.”
“With six brothers, I’m still surprised that you don’t want kids. Have you always felt that way?”
I stare at his handsome face and think about it.
It doesn’t take me long to see a pattern, and I grin.
“Actually, yes. When I was a kid, I used to spend a lot of time with my brothers when they were first married. I visited their houses often. But as soon as they started having kids, I stopped going over. I think it was Dontrae who jokingly asked me if I stopped coming over because their baby was born, and I didn’t answer yes, but yes, that was the reason.
That’s the reason I don’t visit them much now.
That’s why I’m almost always camped out in my shop or in a distant room with a book for the holidays. ”
“Sparrow has younger siblings,” I point out.
“Yeah, but they’re close to us in age. So yes, they’re younger, but it’s not a huge age gap.
I did, however, avoid big gatherings there because they have a lot of younger cousins and shit, and I wasn’t into that.
I hate the chaos and noise and the constant running around.
Crying and squeals of laughter or whatever. ”
Enfield chuckles. “You didn’t do that when you were a kid, huh?”
“Whether I did or not, I don’t like to be around it.”
He hums. “I’m not sure my kids are chaotic like that.
Maybe because they’re all technically single kids, so there’s no one to raise hell with.
Lissander loves to read, which is a calm, quiet activity.
Ronan spends a lot of time on electronics, which will change now, but I don’t think he’s hectic either.
Thea will cry more as she gets bigger and needs more, but… ”
“You don’t have to justify your kids being kids,” I say when he trails off. “I’ll figure it out.”
“But are you going to be happy? Are you going to be able to sit in the same room as them and not be miserable? I don’t really want to live in a house where you take off when they come over.”
“I won’t,” I promise. “I swear I’ll figure it out.”
Enfield stares at me as silence settles around us. My phone sounds loud in the pool room, bouncing off the bare walls. I shift and stretch across his body, which makes him laugh. He grips my hip so I don’t roll myself away as I reach for my phone.
A quick look at the screen shows me it’s my mother. I answer.
“Hey, Mom.”
“Where are you?” she asks. She sounds a little… concerned?
I look at Enfield. “I’m at home. Where are you?”
“The church for your wedding.”
I meet Enfield’s eyes. “We didn’t set a wedding date, Mom.”
“The church filled with sixty people says otherwise.”
“No. What it says is that Enfield’s mother decided that she was going to take it upon herself, without our permission or knowledge, to plan a wedding. This is the first I’m hearing about it, so I imagine if you want your grooms there, they should probably know about it.”
Enfield grins hugely at me.
“What?” she says sharply. “You—you didn’t know?” Her voice moves away from the mic, and she swears. It’s not often that my mother curses, so I really know how she feels right now.
“Our contract states that within thirty days of the contract, we have to have set our wedding date. Which we have.”
Mom sighs heavily, and it sounds angry. “You’re home. In Sun Haven.”
“I am. We both are.”
I think my mother growls. I’m slightly alarmed by the sound.
“I’ll call you tomorrow, baby. Have a nice evening.”
“What are you going to do?” I ask curiously.
“I’m going to tell the church filled with attendees what actually happened. Then I’m going to have a very loud conversation with Mrs. Undergrove.”
I grin. “Love you, Mom.”
“I love you, too, Xavi. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“Okay.”
She hangs up, and I meet Enfield’s eyes. “I almost wish I were there.”
“Let me guess—today is our wedding day,” he says.
“You know? I’m a little confused about why your mother would go through all the trouble of planning this and then not tell you about it. Like, how did she expect us to know?”
He shakes his head. “No idea, but that’s a good question.”
“I wish I could see my mom yelling at yours.”
“Can you reach my phone?”
I stretch once more to grab it and hand it over. He holds it over my head as he texts away. “There. I have three cousins recording everything. I told Rafe to follow my mother inconspicuously and record her confrontation with yours. We’ll see the show without having to be there.”
“Which means we have the best seats.”
He grins. “Yep. And Rafe just agreed. Ryanne says that it’s just started.”
I sigh. “It’s our wedding day, huh?”
“I’m going to sue the shit out of my mother,” he says, grinning widely.
“Enfield.” He meets my eyes. “How about we celebrate our wedding night tonight?”
He licks his lips, and I’m pretty sure I feel his response poking my inner thigh. “Meaning?”
“Well, we can consummate a wedding we didn’t know about,” I suggest, feeling my cheeks turn hot.
“That what you want to do, Xavi?” he asks. I don’t miss the way his tone shifts to something huskier. Excited.
I nod. “Yes. For research purposes, of course. What if we’re not compatible in bed?”
Enfield grins. He curls forward, and with the hand not holding his phone, he grips the back of my head and brings our mouths together. It’s a little awkward since we’re not exactly in a good position to kiss. That doesn’t stop the kiss from being hot and hungry and filled with lust.
“Yes,” he breathes into my mouth. “You’re okay with bottoming first? I think I have a long way to go before I attempt that.”
I grin. “Absolutely.”