Chapter 4 #2
Holden and I gathered my duffels and the camera and lighting equipment to haul outside. I noticed his gaze sweep over my bedroom. Maybe taking in the setting where so many of my cam sessions took place.
When we got outside, the air was bitingly cold, stinging my cheeks, ears, and hands. I shivered in my puffy coat, watching my breath cloud the air as I followed Holden to the gray GTO parked at the curb.
“That’s what you drive?”
“My only indulgence.” His gaze ran over my body, head to toe. “Other than you, anyway.”
My stomach flip-flopped.
To be this man’s indulgence was a special place of honor. Holden was rigid. He kept himself in check. He hadn’t even let me see him when he jerked off and came with me.
But was I only a fantasy that would disappoint him once he spent real time with me? And if so, would he grow tired of me in his home, in a city and state where I had nowhere to turn?
You won’t be any worse off. You have nowhere to turn here either.
Holden unlocked the trunk and helped me pile my duffel bags inside. I overbalanced under the weight of one. I probably shouldn’t have packed my weights, but a camboy needed to maintain his figure.
I stumbled to the side, nearly bumping into Holden. He sidestepped—dodging my body—while grabbing the duffel from my hands.
“Sorry,” I said quickly. “I didn’t mean to get too close.”
“You’re fine,” he said. “Get in the car. I’ll handle the rest.”
I didn’t argue because I was a wuss when it came to the cold. I slipped into the passenger seat, soaking up the hint of warmth that remained inside.
Holden put my equipment in the back, then slid into the driver’s seat.
“I’ll make a quick stop to gas up and grab some snacks. Just relax. Sleep, if you want.”
“I won’t be able to do that, but thanks.”
Holden started the engine, and his panda keychain dangled from the steering column, reassuring in its sweetness.
“Nice panda,” I said.
He rolled his eyes as he cranked the heat. “My brothers gave it to me. They think they’re funny.”
I held out my hands, sighing with pleasure as the chill left me. “Funny? Why?”
“Long story. I just watch panda reels sometimes to de-stress.” He mumbled something else under his breath.
“What was that?” I asked.
“I…also have a few panda head stress balls,” he said reluctantly. “My therapist gave them to me.”
The mention of his therapist made Holden more human. Less frightening.
I relaxed a fraction as he pulled into traffic. When we got to the convenience store, he let me stay in the car. He was pretty good boyfriend material already.
Not that he would be my boyfriend. That wasn’t what this was. I just admired a competent man who knew how to take care of people.
I leaned my head against the window, watching the dark, inky highway unfurling as Holden drove us out of town.
Ten miles passed. Twenty. Fifty.
My eyes grew heavy. Heavier. Then closed.
I was wrong about being unable to sleep. I crashed out hard, waking only a few times on the trip—mostly jolting to consciousness, startled I was in a car, and then sinking back into an uneasy sleep.
When the car took a turn onto a bumpy drive, I came fully awake.
“We’re here,” Holden murmured. “Welcome to Riverton, Nebraska.”
I sat up, wincing as my neck protested the awkward position I’d slept in for six hours. I rubbed it as I gazed out the window.
Wide-open horizon, flat land, and barren fields replaced the cityscape of St. Louis. A few trees stretched their bony branches toward the sky, bare of leaves. It was still dark, though more gray than black now.
I checked the time on the car stereo. 7:30 a.m.
I’d be at school by now if my life hadn’t derailed. Maybe taping up Sierra’s map, with her little sketch of a corncob in the state of Nebraska. When I’d seen her artwork, I’d never imagined I’d be here two days later.
Holden drove down a rutted path, bypassing the parking lot in front of an auto garage and arcing to the right, eventually parking on a patch of dead grass in front of a farmhouse.
It was bright white with slate-gray trim, but the sagging porch roof gave away its age.
“I didn’t even think to ask you about where you lived,” I said.
“You had a lot of other things on your mind.” He paused. “I hope it’s okay.”
I scoffed. “You saw my apartment building. It was nothing special.”
“It was nice. Modern. This place is not new. The water takes ten solid minutes to heat up. The hall toilet always runs unless you jiggle the handle. And the third stair from the bottom creaks every time I step on it.”
I smiled. “It sounds great.”
He laughed.
“Seriously,” I said. “It has character that my bland apartment building will never possess.”
“Character,” Holden mused. “Yeah, I like that. I’ll use that phrase the next time one of my brothers bitches about the garbage disposal acting up.”
He opened his door and got out. I did the same, eager to stretch my legs after the long ride. I arched my back, taking in the view, not even bothered by the cold—which wasn’t much better here—as tension eased in my cramped muscles.
Holden started unloading bags. I took a step toward him, then froze when a whole trail of men emerged from his house.
A dark-haired, tatted-up guy next to a slim, well-groomed blond. A younger guy with messy brown hair. A man with blond waves pulled into a messy ponytail, and an honest-to-god sheriff, complete with uniform.
These must be the brothers Holden lived with. He’d said they were okay with a houseguest, but was there even space for me?
Holden shouldered two duffel bags, then handed me a third one as his brothers came closer.
“Shiloh, this is my family.” He pointed to each man in turn. “Gray, Bailey, Axel. They’re my foster brothers. And Emory and Dalton are the boyfriends.”
I smiled, hiding behind my cam persona. “Well, hello. Aren’t you all just tasty enough to eat?”
Bailey’s pale blue eyes widened. “Uh…”
The sheriff—Dalton—chuckled quietly. Gray shook his head, lips quirking. Axel straight-up cackled.
“Oh, hell, Holden. I didn’t know you had it in you.”
“What?” Holden said, sounding startled.
“I just needed a place to hi—er, stay, for a couple of days,” I said. “Holden was kind enough to invite me.”
“I just bet he was,” Gray mused. “Well, nice to meet you, Shiloh.”
“Really nice to meet you,” Emory enthused, holding open his arms. “Can I hug you?”
I was caught off guard, but damn, I’d needed a hug for days.
“Yeah.” I stepped forward, eyes slipping closed as I sagged into him. “Thank you.”
When I opened my eyes, the brothers were exchanging concerned looks with Holden. I was sure they had things to say about their sudden houseguest.
Best to let them do it in private.
“I think I should freshen up and let you all talk,” I said, casting a glance toward Holden.
“I’ll show you to the bathroom,” he said. “Then we can get you something to eat.”
“Breakfast is still on the table,” Emory said.
I nodded, keeping my tone bright even as my insides quivered with nerves. “Sounds great. Thanks.” I glanced toward the brothers, trying to read the looks they all kept exchanging. “Go easy on Holden, all right? He was worried about me.”
Bailey’s eyebrows shot up, and Axel’s gaze narrowed, as if he didn’t care for my two cents. But Gray just chuckled. “Looks like things just got a little more interesting around here.”