Chapter 5
Holden
I led Shiloh to my bedroom. “I’ve got a private bathroom you can use. No one will disturb you. Take as long as you like.”
He smiled, looking tired despite his car nap. Of course, he couldn’t have slept well with his neck craned to the side and every bump in the road jolting him awake for a few seconds.
“Thank you, Holden.”
He paused in the bathroom doorway and gazed around my room. A king-size bed stood under the ceiling fan, a tall chest of drawers against one wall. My Chromebook sat on the desk.
Shiloh’s lips twitched. “You never let me see you on video. This is where all our cam sessions happened?”
I cleared my throat. “Uh, yeah.”
He nodded toward my laptop. “You watched me on that screen?”
“Mostly.” I shifted. “My phone once or twice, but I liked a, um, bigger view.”
Shiloh chuckled. “And now you get a life-sized view.”
“Oh, no, I don’t expect—”
My words cut off, strangled, as Shiloh peeled off his shirt in front of me.
He was lean, a little pale, but as toned and sexy as always.
Without the camera lighting washing him out, I could see more details: a scattering of freckles across his shoulders, a silvery scar near his hip, a red mark along his neck that the seat belt left behind.
“What?” he said playfully. “It’s nothing you haven’t seen.”
I swallowed hard. “I-I know, but you said before… This isn’t that kind of arrangement.”
“It’s not,” he agreed. “If we fuck, it’ll be because we both want to.”
He stepped into the bathroom and closed the door behind him.
Belatedly, I found my voice. “I can’t do that.” I stepped up to the door. “Shiloh, I can’t.”
His voice came softly from the other side. “I know, Holden. I’m just teasing you.”
I huffed a breath. Shiloh was always a terrible brat on cam.
“You don’t have to perform here,” I told him. “Be yourself.”
No answer came. I waited until I heard the shower turn on, then headed down the hall. My brothers would have questions, and I wanted to handle the grilling while Shiloh was out of the room.
They were waiting in the kitchen, though Dalton must have left for work. Axel sat at the table with Gray. Bailey was making a fresh pot of coffee, and Emory worked the waffle iron.
“What the hell, Holden?” Axel asked.
And there it was. I winced. “I know this is sudden. I’m sorry I sprang a houseguest on you, but it was an emergency.”
“We don’t care about that,” Gray said. “If you’re bringing Shiloh here, it’s important. And we all saw his face.”
Axel nodded. “Is he okay?”
“He will be if I have anything to say about it. But I know this all happened fast. Sorry.”
“It did, didn’t it?” Axel mused, eyes narrowed in thought.
“Who is this guy, anyway?” Bailey asked. “And more importantly, where is he going to sleep?”
“We’ll figure something out.”
“Like what?” Bailey protested. “All the rooms are taken. Unless… Are you going to sleep with him?”
“No,” I said quickly. “I couldn’t do that.”
“I didn’t think so.”
“Em gave up his apartment, or we’d clear out for a few days,” Gray said. “Sorry, man.”
I nodded. “It’s okay. I was so focused on driving to Missouri and getting him back here where it’s safe that I really didn’t think about the logistics.”
“That’s not like you,” Gray said. “You usually overthink everything you do.”
“I know.” I sighed and dragged a hand through my hair. “But I had to act fast. You saw. He wasn’t safe. And then I was driving all night. I’m fucking exhausted.”
“Bailey, get him a cup of coffee,” Emory said. “Holden, you want some waffles? Sit down and take a minute.”
Emory was always such a good caretaker. I collapsed into the nearest chair. “Thanks, Em.”
Bailey poured a mug of coffee and set it in front of me. I’d caffeinated all night. I probably should sleep instead, but I didn’t want to leave Shiloh to his own devices with my brothers.
“I could stay with Dalton,” Axel said hesitantly. “Let Shiloh sleep in my RV?”
I considered it, but shook my head. “This is a new place. I want him to feel safe and welcome. If we put him out in the junkyard…”
“Not very welcome, huh?” Axel said, an edge to his tone.
“Not if he’s not choosing it for himself,” I said. “Besides, I don’t want you farther from us.”
Axel had moved out there to distance himself from us after Gray left, his fear of abandonment too much to handle. We’d begun to heal as a family, and I didn’t want to do anything to set us back.
Axel relaxed. “Okay, it was just a suggestion.”
“I appreciate it.” I sighed. “Shiloh can take my bed. I’ll sleep on the couch.”
Emory carried a plate of waffles to the table and set them before me.
“Holden, my couch isn’t nearly as big as the one you guys used to have.
” Emory had moved in some of his furniture when he gave up his apartment, and our lumpy monster of a couch went to the junkyard.
“I don’t think it’ll be very comfortable. ”
“I’ll make do,” I said.
Gray kicked Bailey’s ankle. “Or…”
“Ow,” Bailey said, scowling. Gray raised his eyebrows. Bailey sighed. “I guess I could take the couch if it’s only a couple of days. But it’ll only be a couple of days, right?”
Shiloh emerged from the hallway just then, looking freshly scrubbed. “Please don’t put yourself out for me. I can sleep on the couch. I’m shorter than all of you.”
His damp hair curled over his ears, his cheeks were pink from the heat, and his body just about disappeared in the large sweatshirt he’d put on. Somehow, it made me want to pick him up and hold him. Of course, I couldn’t, but that didn’t stop the yearning.
“No, you need to feel safe,” I said, remembering that scared, vulnerable look on Shiloh’s face when I’d turned up at his door last night.
He hadn’t been totally sure about trusting me, but he’d taken a chance, and I wanted to make damn sure he didn’t regret it.
“You don’t know us. Take my room. You can lock that door from the inside. ”
His eyes widened. “I trust you more than that, or I wouldn’t have come here.”
“You need privacy and your own space,” I said firmly. “I’ll take the couch.”
I was the one who invited Shiloh, so it was only fair that I be the one who dealt with the sleeping arrangements. Besides, my brothers all paid a share of the rent. It wouldn’t be right to ask any of them to give up their space.
Shiloh cast a look toward my brothers, seeming a little lost for what his next argument should be.
Gray chuckled. “Shiloh, I don’t know how well you know my brother, but he’s a tad bossy.”
Shiloh’s lips curled. “Oh, I’ve noticed.”
It wasn’t as if he’d said anything X-rated, but enough innuendo leaked into his tone that Axel’s eyes widened and he snapped his fingers.
“Holy shit, that’s why you look familiar.”
I sent him a sharp look.
“I don’t know what you mean,” Shiloh said, looking uneasy. He probably thought that two brothers in this household were watching his cam shows. What actually happened was awkward enough without that weirdness.
“What is this now?” Gray asked.
My jaw tightened while I stared down Axel, worried he’d blurt out the whole damn story.
Emory set a plate of waffles in front of an empty chair. “These are for you, Shy. Is it okay if I call you Shy?”
“Sure. Everyone does it. Can I call you Em?”
Emory smirked. “Might as well. All these guys do.”
Shiloh nodded. “Thanks, then, Em.”
He took the seat at the table between me and Axel. Bailey returned to his seat on the opposite side.
“What am I missing?” he asked.
“That’s what I want to know,” Gray said.
Shiloh glanced at me uncertainly. Clearly, he wasn’t sure what he should say.
“Axel saw Shiloh once,” I told them. “On my computer.”
Shiloh’s eyes widened. “Oh, the night you abruptly went dark?”
I nodded. “Go ahead, Ax. I’m sure you’re dying to tell them.”
He grinned. “Really?”
“Yes.” I picked up my coffee and sipped it, closing my eyes. “I’m too tired to fight it.”
“Well, that’s less fun,” he murmured.
“Just tell us,” Bailey said.
“You know how Holden makes all those business calls?” He gestured toward Shiloh. “Well, this is what he’s been doing. Often without clothes. I guess Shiloh is, um, an online boyfriend or something?”
A shocked silence descended.
Obviously, Axel didn’t know I paid Shiloh for the virtual sex. As much as I’d rather not overshare with my brothers, it wouldn’t be fair to ask Shiloh to pretend he was my boyfriend. He’d made it clear, when I suggested bringing him here, that he couldn’t be that for me.
“We’re just friends,” Shiloh said into the thick silence. “We chat. Sometimes on video.” He shrugged. “Holden offered to help me out for a few days. I really appreciate you all putting up with me crashing at your place. I’ll try not to overstay my welcome.”
Everyone exchanged looks. I didn’t think they bought the story that Shiloh was just a friend, but to my relief, Axel didn’t contradict him.
“Well, any friend of Holden’s is a friend of ours,” Emory said brightly. “Right, guys?”
There was a murmur of assent.
“Thank you for being so welcoming.” Shiloh cut a bite of waffle. “And for the breakfast. If you need me to contribute to groceries or anything…”
“Don’t be silly,” I said. “You’re a guest. You don’t need to worry about anything.”
He hesitated. “I just don’t want to be any trouble.”
“You’re no trouble,” I assured him. “I want you here.”
He nibbled his bottom lip, looking unconvinced, but finally nodded. “Okay. Let me know if that changes, okay?”
There was a hint of anxiety in his eyes. As if he worried I’d change my mind now that he was in my home. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Shiloh might not be my boyfriend, but I still liked seeing him here, in my space with my family.
Liked knowing he was close enough to touch—even if I couldn’t actually do it. That he was safe, protected.
As close to mine as he ever could be.
I pushed my chair back. “I’m going to shower and change. Would you like me to show you around the place, Shy?”
He looked at me with concern. “You should sleep. You were driving all night.”
“I’m fueled by caffeine.”
“But you look half-dead,” he protested.
“Shiloh’s right,” Gray said. “You should take a nap, at least. We can run the shop on our own for a day.”
I tensed. Shook my head. “I have a lot to do. Business calls—”
“But Shiloh’s here,” Axel teased. “That’ll cut down on the business calls, won’t it?”
He winked playfully.
I glared at him. “Actual business calls.”
“Now, he admits it,” he grumbled.
“Just take a few hours,” Emory suggested. “You can go in for half a day for anything urgent. I’m not going in for a while. I could give Shiloh the lay of the land. From one houseguest to another?”
“You’re not a houseguest,” Gray protested. “You live here.”
“Recent development,” Emory told Shiloh. “I know what it’s like to be the non-brother.”
Shiloh smiled. “That’s really nice of you. How about I help clean up in the kitchen since you made me breakfast? You can show me where everything goes.”
“I didn’t bring you here to clean up after us,” I said tightly.
Shiloh shrugged. “I doubt Gray brought Emory here to cook for you all either. I just want to be helpful.”
“We all take turns,” Bailey said. “We can add you to the rotation.”
Shiloh turned a wide smile on my baby brother. “Thanks, cutie.”
Bailey reddened, suddenly flustered. “Uh, y-yeah. Sure.”
I’d have to remind Shiloh to be careful with those sensual powers. I didn’t want anyone else in this house falling in love with him.
Not that I was in love with him. That was so far beyond the realm of possibility I didn’t even let my mind go there. But Bailey was young and idealistic. When he fell for someone, he’d fall hard. He’d love with his whole heart.
Like someone who wasn’t broken.