Chapter 58
Treasuring my Star.
Monqilcolnen hadn’t spoken since he’d woken up the first time and fucked me.
We hadn’t had sex again, which I understood.
He was deep in the waves of grief. His cousins had come in and tried to speak to him, but he wouldn’t respond no matter what they said.
Hallonnixmin and Dontilvynsan had pinged, multiple times, as well; still, Monqilcolnen remained quiet.
Then Emperor Kontolmakqilnen and Empress Vyn had pinged, and Monqilcolnen had just pressed closer to me, face buried in my stomach.
I had been mortified about my lack of dress, but I’d pushed through, and truthfully, neither of them seemed to even notice, let alone care.
He hadn’t left the bedroom.
I was sitting on our bed working, and Monqilcolnen was lying in between my legs, his head on my thigh, arms hugging me, and tail coiled around mine.
Cincin was pressed against his side. She absolutely hated the shared space being taken over by strangers and had refused to leave the bedroom, choosing to stay beside Monqilcolnen unless I was feeding her.
While I worked through the new issues that were popping up at an almost daily rate, I brushed Monqilcolnen’s hair in a small attempt to soothe him.
I wished I could do more. I knew nothing of families, nor did I know anything about the grief of losing your parents.
My own grief was far smaller, and I hardly knew how to speak of it.
He let out a deep breath, then nuzzled me.
I pulled Monqilcolnen closer, so he knew I wasn’t mad.
I didn’t care in the slightest about him scent marking me almost all of the time.
Part of me wanted to tell him I considered him my mate because it might ease his stress of being alone.
Then again, it might not, especially if he didn’t feel the same.
I didn’t want to add to his stress.
The bedroom door opened, and Monqilcolnen curled closer to me, hiding his face completely.
He had deferred most choices to me, which I was fine with.
Whatever he needed, I would provide. At first it had been odd to interact on a more personal or equal level with his cousins. None of them cared and had told me so.
Serlotminden came in, and I wasn’t surprised—he and Kalvoxrencol had been taking turns, so as to not overwhelm Monqilcolnen.
“Monqilcolnen,” he said, and Monqilcolnen pressed tighter to me.
I cupped the nape of his neck and said, “Yes… Serlotminden?” I swallowed the uncomfortable curl in my stomach from the lack of formalities.
“Hallonnixmin pinged me.”
“And?”
“It’s all arranged.”
I closed my eyes. The send off. Monqilcolnen was their only child—it was his job to spread their ashes among the stars, but he couldn’t.
Monqilcolnen whimpered, and I tightened my hold. Serlotminden moved as if he intended to join us on the bed, but he tensed and stopped at the last second, probably because I bared my lips in a silent snarl. I wouldn’t suffer anyone near my mate right now.
“Who is sending them off?” I asked.
“Hallonnixmin will.”
I brushed a hand through Monqilcolnen’s hair. “Can we honor them here?”
“Kalvoxrencol is organizing something as we speak. It will be tomorrow.”
“Thank you.”
Serlotminden shook his head, his eyes running over Monqilcolnen. “Thank you, Wyn.”
When the door closed, I bent over Monqilcolnen, hugging him. “Did you hear that, Star?”
He pressed against me.
I kissed his shoulder. “Hallonnixmin will honor them. You know he will.”
Monqilcolnen did not say anything, and I wasn’t surprised. He was deep in his grief. Getting him to eat was near impossible. He hadn’t taken a shower since he’d found out. I was scared—very scared—he was starting to succumb to the grief.
I had even contacted Doctor Qinlin about it. She’d promised to monitor him, but with intermittent communications and failing systems, Monqilcolnen wasn’t her priority. She’d told me to not leave his side, which I wouldn’t. Not ever.
Pressing another kiss to his scales, I asked, “Will you let me take care of you?”
Monqilcolnen kissed my thigh, and I smiled.
“Thank you, Star.”
I gently slid out from beneath him and ignored his subsequent whimper. Cupping his cheeks, I brushed my lips against his, then pulled him to his feet and led him to the bathroom.
The first order of business was to get him clean. I didn’t think he truly cared one way or another, but I wanted to take care of him as much as I possibly could. This wasn’t near enough. I was floundering, but I refused to fail him. Monqilcolnen was mine, and I loved him so much. I had to show him.
I pulled him into the shower and flicked on the stream that rained down on us like a waterfall. Pulling him closer, I tugged his face down to mine and kissed him. Monqilcolnen growled, gripping my waist, and lifted me up.
My back slammed into the rock wall, green leaves falling to the floor.
Pain rushed through me, but it only stoked my arousal.
Monqilcolnen did not even give me a chance to speak before he claimed my mouth in a brutal kiss.
I surrendered to him. I belonged to Monqilcolnen, and he could do whatever he wanted to me.
My hard cock rubbed on his stomach while his prodded my entrance. I whimpered, wiggling. I wanted him inside of me, but this moment was about Monqilcolnen and my care of him.
He hooked an arm under my knee and forced my legs wider apart.
Ripping my mouth from his, I offered him my neck. “Take me.”
We had no lube, but I didn’t care if this hurt or not.
In fact, part of me wanted it to hurt; part of me needed it to hurt.
Monqilcolnen slotted his crown against my entrance and pushed.
It burned so bad. My head fell back, and I whimpered.
However, I slapped his butt with my tail, wordlessly telling him to continue, and he did.
Slowly, he pumped into me, spreading his pre-seed into my tight hole and easing the glide of his wide cock some. Still, it hurt so perfectly, I was gasping and squirming against Monqilcolnen, who had effectively trapped me against the wall of the shower.
There was no escape from him. Not that I wanted one.
I cried and moaned as Monqilcolnen brutally thrust in and out of my channel.
The sound of our scales coming together in harsh slaps only excited me more.
The warm water sluiced over us, raising my temperature until I felt as if I was burning with utter need.
I had to have Monqilcolnen. He was mine.
So completely mine, and I was his. I could never live without his steady presence beside me.
His grunts and snarls sounded in my ear as his hips slammed into me, each thrust forcing me further back into the rocks that scraped against my scales.
“Star,” I screamed, gripping him so hard I feared my claws would hurt him, but I couldn’t stop. The pain and pleasure were reaching unknown levels. At any moment I was going to implode.
Another shriek came out of me when Monqilcolnen slammed into me, spearing the cluster of nerves deep within me. My balls hugged the base of my shaft, my cock throbbed, and my hole clasped Monqilcolnen so tight.
Tears slid down my cheeks, mixing with the water cascading over us. I fisted the hair at the nape of his neck and mouthed sloppily along his jaw as constant moans escaped my lips.
“Star,” I cried, my release sweeping through me in a wave of fire. Spurts of seed painted my scales, only to be washed away by the water. He snarled and pounded into me one more time before he filled my channel with his seed.
Panting, I hugged him tight to my chest, not wanting him to slide out of me or separate in any way. He didn’t. Monqilcolnen carefully headed toward the bench and sat with me straddling his lap and his cock still buried in me.
“Are you well?” he asked, voice quiet.
I kissed him, my soul throbbing from the sound. I had missed it so much. I never wanted to go so long without hearing it again. “I’m fine.”
The harsh fucking would be felt for days, but I relished the thought of being sore from my mate claiming me, using me when he needed it most.
Monqilcolnen started nuzzling me, and I breathed in his scent, though the steam from the shower stole most of it away.
Pushing my fingers through his hair, I asked, “Are you well?”
He didn’t respond.
Perhaps it wasn’t a fair question. It hadn’t been long since he’d found out about his parents’ demise. I did not mind him mourning them—it was only natural. I was more worried about him leaving me behind. I could never allow that. He was my mate, and I required him for the rest of my life.
Monqilcolnen began scent marking me in truth, and I did not speak again. Instead, I held him tight to me and simply allowed us to be together.
When the instinct for intimacy passed, I started to lean up, and Monqilcolnen growled, biting my neck, which made me moan.
Stars, I loved the feel of his fangs sliding into my skin.
I knew it was damaging my scales there, and with the scars that had to be forming underneath, it was unlikely the scales would regrow if removed.
“Let me wash you,” I said, lips brushing his. “I want to treasure you.”
His expression tightened, but he released his harsh grip on my waist and helped me up, his cock sliding from my stinging hole and his seed beginning to drip down my thigh to the shower floor.