7. Chapter Six
Janie laid on her stomach coloring in a bear. Echo, Elsha, Kyle, and Tucker were laying on their stomachs with her. She had been here for thirty minutes so far and none of them had really talked. Thats how it always started. Silence while they focused and then the flood gates would open and no one would shut up.
But Janie liked that about their group. It gave everyone enough time to relax and think about things before discussions normally started. Granted, not every night was like that. Sometimes they were so deep into Littlespace that they didnt have deep conversations. But tonight wasnt one of those nights. Janie had seen some of the looks the other Littles gave each other.
No doubt Echo had said something to them about her and Mac. Not that she minded, well she did a little. That was one of the reasons she didnt tell Echo earlier. She could be a bit of a gossiper and she wasnt prepared for her stuff to be circulating around the Little group.
So, have you talked to Mac yet? Echo asked. All the other Little stopped coloring and looked at her. What was she going to say? Yes, but it didnt turn out how she wanted or it turned out exactly how she wanted?
Mac was going to fight for her and Eleanor. Part of her was excited, but the other part wanted to scream and yell at him to stop. not to waste his time.
But would he listen to her? Probably not. He was stubborn and almost always got his way. Janie could count on her hand how many times she got her way when Mac was involved.
Yeah, she whispered.
How are you two doing? Kyle asked.
Nothing is happening and we arent a thing, Janie said. I know you guys are waiting for me to say something about it.
Why? Elsha asked.
With the way he looks at you and how hes looking at you right now, I think he wants something to happen, Tucker said.
Janie turned around to see Mac already looking at her. She hadnt seen him come down stairs. But he always sat in the exact same spot each week. Janie sighed and looked at all of them.
Hes my neighbor for one. I have a daughter as well with my ex-husband. My daughter comes first, Janie said. He also doesnt want someone who has a daughter with another man. What man wants that?
Bullshit! Kyle said. I call bullshit all over that. Sure, your daughter comes first but you also need to put yourself first every once in a while.
I agree with him, Echo said.
You havent been with someone in a year since you got divorced. But even when you were married, you werent really with him. I know you didnt love your ex-husband, Kyle said, giving her a pointed look.
Janie looked at him in shock. Did he really just say that? She honestly didnt think that any of them would remember that she had gotten divorced last year. She hadnt made a big deal out of it. Just briefly mentioned it in case she wasnt able to attend for a little bit as she sorted everything out.
Even when she was married, she still had to have a babysitter come over. Her husband really didnt want anything to do with Eleanor. That was a red flag and she had thought about divorcing him when he told her he didnt want the baby.
Then she found him cheating and that was the last straw. She wasnt going to be married to a cheater. The girl he cheated with was barely legal. She was sick of it and her husband didnt fight her on the divorce.
That doesnt mean anything. Eleanor is only two. Shes in the stage of life where she needs me constantly, Janie said. I need to focus on her.
Elsha placed her hand on Janies shoulder. You do know you dont have to do everything by yourself. Were here for you and so are a lot of the Doms.
You can open up some and lean on people. Were not going to leave you when things get tough. You know that, Echo said. All of us were there for you when you were going through your divorce.
Janie shook her head. I dont want to burden anyone with anything. its not fair when you guys didnt sign up for it, she said. Its not your problem, its mine.
Kirk sat up and gave her a pointed look. Sure, we didnt sign up for it originally, but we want to help you. We wouldnt be telling you this if we didnt want to help. We do it because we care about you.
We want you to be happy, Tucker said. You deserve it after your divorce. I know you have Eleanor, but that shouldnt hold you back. The right guy wants both of you.
Janie kept quiet as she pondered their words. She knew that they wanted to be there for her, but that didnt mean she didnt feel guilty about it. Asking for help isnt her strong suit. She ended up always feeling guilty about it. Worried that they were only doing it because they felt like they had to not because they wanted to.
Youve done a lot for us, Echo said. Youre always there when we need to talk to someone. Giving advice when needed or a shoulder to cry on.
We want to give that back, Kyle said.
Just try? We know its not going to happen over night, but try. We would love to help, Elsha softly spoke.
Janie sighed and looked at all of them. Okay, Ill try.
Thank you, they all said.
Kyle sat up straighter and looked behind her. Daddy incoming, he said.
Before Janie could look back, she heard his voice.
Janie, Mac said. She didnt look behind her to see him. She didnt want to talk to him right now. Could I steal Janie away for a couple of minutes to talk to her? he asked.
Sure, Echo said.
Janie turned around and glared at him. I dont want to talk right now.
Please, I would really like to talk to you.
Janie let out a sigh. She really didnt want to talk to him right now, but he had asked nicely. This was supposed to be her time to relax and have a good time. She didnt want to have any serious conversations right now.
I think you should go talk to him, Echo whispered to her. He asked nicely and I know you want to talk to him. Hear him out and what he has to say.
She did but at the same time she didnt. She didnt come here to talk to him. Janie came here to hang out with her friends and relax. This was not relaxing. Janie took a deep breath in and turned around.
You have two minutes, she said. She cringed inside as she said that. It sounded a lot harsher than she meant it to be. But she didnt want it to drag on.
Janie, Echo said. Thats not what I meant.
Janie didnt look at her because she knew that.
Can we go somewhere else to talk? he asked.
I think you should go have it in private, Kyle whispered. You dont want everyone to hear it.
Janie nodded her head at Mac. It was going to be right here. Mac opened his mouth, getting ready to talk to her but before he could, Echo spoke up.
Ive got to go to the bathroom. Elsha, can you come with me? Echo asked.
Im thirsty, Kyle said. Do you want anything Tucker?
Ill come with you.
She sighed. She thought it would have been better to have them with her when she had the talk with Mac. Did she think it was partially wrong to do it with them there? Yes.
Janie pouted and crossed her arms. No fair.
Mac bent down in front of her and gripped her chin. They were doing what they thought was right, Mac said. Dont get mad at them for that.
She continued to pout. She wasnt mad at them necessarily. She knew they were trying to give them privacy. What did you want to talk about? she asked.
When she had given him two minutes, she didnt really mean it. Two minutes had already passed, or well she thought it did. She hadnt counted.
Mac sighed and let go of her chin.
I wanted to apologize, he said.
She gave him a weird look. Apologize for what?
I wanted to apologize for pushing you a little too far the other day. I wanted to say sorry for whatever I had done to make you pull back and not want to talk to me or see me, he gently said. I dont know what I did but I want to fix it. And the first step is apologizing.
She stared at him in shock. She never thought he would do this.
I know an apology may not be right, but its a start. Ill do whatever I can to make it right again, he said. I dont like that youve pulled away, shut down.
Janie closed her eyes. She knew he would notice, but she didnt think he would actually be affected that much by it.
So, would you forgive me for everything Ive done wrong? he asked.
She looked into his eyes and saw how genuine he was. He really wanted to apologize for whatever he had done, even though he didnt know what it was.
Yes, I accept your apology, she whispered.
Relief filled his face. But she didnt think it was going to change anything.
Janie pushed herself off of the ground and stood up. Ive got to go home, she said.