Chapter Three
Lexi
He’s here. He’s home. Brock is home.
Leaning my back against the front door of his house, I take a few seconds to catch my breath. Seeing him in the flesh, after four long, torturous years…
The truth is, I haven’t really seen his face since the day he left for Boston. When we said our final goodbye. I almost got a glimpse of him two years ago at the engagement party of Xavier Hall and Lily Hastings—Brock’s cousin. He called his older sister, Zoey, to wish the happy couple congratulations for him, but as soon as he realized I was near, he quickly ended the call. It felt like the sharpest knife stabbed me through my heart. But I understood. I always understood.
Gosh, Brock looks so good. Like, so so good. He’s very tall—I bet taller than his dad—and his face is so…perfect. It still holds the light and sweetness he always had as a kid, but there’s no mistaking the darkness, pain, and heartache there, too. His eyes haven’t lost their kindness, but they’re also shadowed with loss. They say the eyes are the window to the soul, right? Well, I can tell that Brock has a wonderful, lovely soul. It’s just broken and full of ache.
Will I be able to help him heal? Should I? I have no idea what I’m supposed to do. Is he even here to stay or is he just visiting? I assumed he’s here to stay because of all the boxes. I didn’t think about asking him because he seemed so shocked by my visit. I don’t think he was upset—from the way his eyes lit up, I have a feeling he was happy that I came. But he didn’t say a single word. Almost like he couldn’t.
But he hugged me back. And it felt so good. It was like I was hugging a part of me that was lost for so long. Whenever I hugged Brock years ago, I always felt safe, and I felt that way this time, too. Amongst other things, but I don’t think I could bear entertaining those kinds of thoughts…
Shaking my head, I peel myself off the Hastings’ door and start my trek home, trying to shove all these consuming thoughts out of my head. My house isn’t that far from Brock’s—about ten minutes. My phone has been dinging every few minutes, but I ignored it because I was so focused on Brock. But I slip it out of my jeans pocket now and scan the screen. It’s my friends’ group chat.
Theo: Wait, Brock is back? As in, in Edenbury?
Gael: Yeah. My cousin passed his house as he got out of the car.
Nate: Did he have bags with him?
Gael: Dunno.
Nate: So maybe he’s just visiting his parents.
Dean: I texted him a few times, but he didn’t answer. Did he change his number?
Cooper: Maybe he’s ignoring us like he’s been doing the last four years.
Finn: Not cool, Coop.
Cooper: Dudes, he’s been blowing us off since he left. You think he wants to be best friends with us all of a sudden?
Nate: Assuming he’s actually back for good.
Dean: Where’s Lexi?
Finn: Dunno. I hung out with her earlier, but she took off.
I’m not really in the mood to text with the guys because I still haven’t processed my interaction with Brock, but they sometimes get overprotective of me, and the last thing I want is them calling my mom and freaking her out.
Lexi: I’m here. Stopped by the Hastings’s to see Brock. I’m on my way home.
Finn: Need a ride, Lexi?
Lexi: I’m good, thanks.
Gael: You saw Brock? How is he?
Lexi: He seems okay. I only stayed for like a minute. He was busy unpacking and I didn’t want to disturb him.
Cooper: Maybe he just didn’t want you around.
Finn: Coop, shut up.
Cooper: Just keeping it real.
Lexi: Let’s give him space. If he’s here to stay, it’s probably hard for him to adjust. He’ll talk to us if and when he wants to. Hopefully we’ll see him at school tomorrow.
Theo: Lexi’s right. Let’s give the guy breathing room.
The rest of them agree, though Cooper suspects Brock has no intention of being friends with us again. The thought of that makes my stomach churn, but I have to remind myself that it doesn’t matter how I feel. Brock is the one who went through a tragedy, and if he feels it’s best that his old friends are not part of his life…I’ll have to accept it. No matter how hard it is.
Mom is in the living room when I come home, watching a rom-com. She smiles when I walk in and pats the spot near her on the sofa. “Want to watch this movie with me, sweetie? I was just about to start it.”
“Sure.” I’m not the biggest fan of rom-coms, but it’ll be nice to take my mind off Brock for an hour and a half. Though perhaps it’s not the best choice, considering this movie will have a lot of romance in it, which will definitely remind me of Brock.
“I just hung up with Sky,” Mom says. “She’s adjusting well to her new semester. I can’t believe this is her last year of college. The years have flown by so fast.”
My older sister, Skylar, is studying animation in college. I spoke to her last night, and I suspect she’s seeing someone at school because she couldn’t stop smiling and I heard her phone beeping like every thirty seconds. When I asked her why she’s so happy and who the heck was texting her so much, she said it was no one. Yeah, right. I’m so going to stalk her social media later and search for the mystery guy, though Sky doesn’t post that much.
My older brother, Aidan, married his wife, Ava Knight, last year. The Knights are the richest family in Edenbury, but they’re so down to Earth and awesome. Ava’s mom, Dani, is my dance instructor and she was even on Broadway! Both Aidan and Ava work in her dad Easton’s company, and they’re so lovey-dovey with each other.
“Did you have a good walk?” Mom asks.
Keeping my eyes on the TV screen, I say, “I went to the Hastings’s house. Brock came home today.”
Mom sits up sharply and pauses the movie. With wide and concerned eyes, she turns to me, taking my hand. “How did it go?”
“Um…okay, I guess.”
She searches my face. “Just okay?”
I raise my shoulders. “I didn’t want to disturb him, so I didn’t stay long. It’ll be hard for him to adjust, so I think I need to give him space.”
Mom nods slowly as she thinks. “It can’t be easy returning here, where he’ll be constantly reminded of the past.”
I squeeze my eyes shut as the horrible words I said to him start to invade my mind. No. No. Stay out. You’re not allowed to ever see the light of day.
Mom rests her hand on my shoulder. “Are you all right, honey?”
She doesn’t know what I said to Brock. No one does. Well, other than him, obviously, and whoever he told. If he told anyone.
Putting on a smile, I say, “I’m okay. Whatever happens, I’m sure it’ll be okay. Um, I think I’ll get ready for bed. I don’t want to be tired for my first day of school.”
Mom glances at the time with a worried expression, knowing I never go to bed before midnight. But I’m glad she doesn’t prod me about my feelings. She knows Brock is a sore subject for me.
“Good night.” She stretches to kiss my forehead. “Be strong, my brave girl.”
I’m about to get up, but then I turn around. “Hey, you didn’t tell me how your lunch date went.”
She met a guy at the grocery store a few days ago and he asked her out. Apparently, they bonded over a new brand of pasta sauce that they’re both crazy about. Whatever the case, I’m super happy that Mom is getting back out there again. She dated a few years ago, but I don’t think she met anyone decent.
Dad died when I was seven, due to an accident at the factory he worked at. Mom had to support my brother, sister, and me all on her own, which was super hard. Even Aidan had to work a few jobs to help put food on the table. But then Easton Knight offered to pay for her to study nursing. It was Mom’s dream, but she had to give it up when she got pregnant with Aidan. She and Dad were pretty poor and couldn’t afford for her to go to school. But she’s a nurse at the elementary school now and is super happy.
Mom sighs. “No sparks.”
“Oh. Bummer.”
She gives me a reassuring smile. “I’ll meet the right one when the time is right. Don’t you worry, okay?”
I nod as I head to my room, but I am a little worried. I’ll be leaving for college in two years and Mom will be all alone. I hoped she would meet someone by now, but I guess not. Maybe there’s no point worrying about things I have no control over. I’ve been trying to tell that to myself the last few years, but my heart refuses to listen. I can’t change the past, no matter how much I want to.
After taking a shower, I get comfortable on my bed with a superhero comic book and the blue whale plushie Ava bought for me at the science museum when I was eight. Whales, along with all other ocean creatures, are the best things in the world. My dream is to be a marine biologist.
It’s hard for me to concentrate on the comic because my thoughts keep creeping to Brock. I sigh and hold out my whale before me. “He’s back,” I say. “Maybe permanently. I’m so happy, but so, so nervous.” I sigh and hug the plushie to my chest.
Then I shut my light and try to get some sleep.
***
Finn drives me and the guys to school every day, and since he has a van, all seven of us fit inside.
After finishing my cereal, I wait outside on the steps like I do every morning, a part of me wondering if Brock will be in the van when Finn pulls up. I have no idea if he got his license, but if he didn’t, would he ask one of the guys to give him a lift? Or would he ask one of his parents? Considering he hasn’t contacted the guys, he probably asked his parents.
“Ugh, I’m obsessing again,” I grumble.
A few minutes later, Finn’s gray van slows down before me. My friends and I don’t fight over shotgun because I always get it. The perks of being the most valued member of our friend group. Nah, I’m just kidding. Maybe not.
“So who’s ready for the first day of hell?” Theo jokes once I’m buckled in and Finn steps on the gas. “Another two years of this. Can you imagine?” He groans and slams the back of his red head against the seat.
“You want to graduate already?” I ask. “You still have no idea what you want to do with your life.”
“It’ll hit me on the head sooner or later.”
The rest of the guys and I share snickers. Theo’s been saying that since we were in middle school. We, other than him, all basically know what we want to do after high school. He prefers to wait for God or the Universe or whatever to give him a sign.
“Dude, change the station,” Cooper complains. “That song is trash.”
“I like it,” Finn says.
“Can’t stand it, man.”
“I’m the driver and I choose.”
“You’re always the driver.”
“I guess it sucks to be you, then.”
They bicker for a few minutes, and then Finn gives in and changes the station. I catch him glance at me from time to time, but like last night, he quickly looks away when I catch him. Is he hoping I’ll give him an answer about what he said? It doesn’t seem like it. I think he’s just concerned for me.
“Anyone hear from Brock?” Gael asks with curious brown eyes.
Dean shakes his dark blond head. “Still hasn’t responded to my texts.”
“Nada here,” Nate says.
We all fall silent, each of us seeming to be worried or bothered. Not Cooper, though. He looks ticked off.
But before he can say anything, Nate changes the subject and Brock is forgotten. Well, not really for me.
We reach school and Finn parks in the student parking lot.
“You guys got your schedules?” Finn asks as we get out of the car. “Let’s compare. I’ll shoot myself if I don’t have biology with any of you. I suck at science.”
“We know,” Theo teases him.
We all take out our phones and compare our schedules.
“Darn it to heck,” Finn groans. “Like I feared—I don’t have bio with any of you. My dad will kill me if I flunk out.”
“I don’t have bio with any of you guys, either,” I inform them.
“Barbarians,” Dean says.
“It looks like we all have English together with Mrs. Hastings,” Gael says.
“Yes!” I pump my fist in the air. Ally Hastings is the most awesome teacher in the world. I love her classes because our discussions on books are so interesting. And she makes me think about things I hadn’t considered before, which makes me feel smart. Everyone loves her class.
“But man, bio,” Finn whines.
“Count your blessings, dude,” Cooper says.
Finn scowls.
Gael says something, but I can’t hear him because of the sound of an engine in the distance. It grows louder before someone on a motorcycle speeds into the parking lot. All of us watch as he slides into an empty spot like a pro and kills the engine.
Nate rolls his green eyes. “Show off.”
The guy yanks off his helmet, revealing his dark hair and sharp blue eyes. All of us gasp.
“Brock,” Gael mutters.
Tucking his helmet under his arm, he gets off the bike and makes his way toward the school. But he stops short when he catches sight of us.
Time seems to stand still as the seven of us stare at him. He stares back at us.
Finn gives Dean a slight push, since he’s the bodyguard of the group. Dean stumbles toward Brock, smiling awkwardly. “Hey, man,” he greets.
Brock exchanges a look with each one of us before pushing some of his long bangs out of his eyes. “Hey.”
He’s wearing a black shirt and black jeans and he looks quite…mysterious. I didn’t know he rides a motorcycle! But how many times do I need to remind myself that I don’t know him anymore?
“Cool bike,” Gael says.
Brock looks back at it with a small, proud smile. “A gift from my grandparents.”
“Neato!” Theo says.
“Really cool, man,” Nate says.
Brock gives him another small smile. Even though it’s so tiny, it changes his whole face. Makes him look even more handsome than he already is.
Cooper’s been glaring at him since he got off the bike. But Brock waves with another smile. “Hey, Coop.”
It looks like Cooper wants to chop his head off, but then he bounds over and throws his arms around him. “Welcome back, dude! You suck, you know that?”
Brock laughs lightly as he pats his back. “Yeah, I know.” He steps back and offers us an apologetic look. “Sorry for, you know, the last four years. I…um…”
I move forward. “You don’t owe us any explanations.”
A surprised look passes over his face, but then his features relax with a relieved smile. “Thanks.”
We all stand in silence.
Theo puts his arm around Brock. “Why you standing there like a statue? Come see the school.” He leads him toward the doors. “I bet your old lame school has nothing on Edenbury High. Bet the girls are much hotter, too.”
The rest of the guys follow them, each one exchanging words with Brock. He seems a bit overwhelmed, but appreciative, too. Like he was worried his old friends wouldn’t accept him.
I take a deep breath and slowly release it, then hurry after them.