Chapter 26
Zahn’s body is grinding on top of mine, and my hands are latched to his hips, either pulling him in closer or shifting him so our dicks line up perfectly. My body reacts all on its own, not confused about sexualities and shifts in friendship. It’s not doing the thinking, and when instinct takes control, everything gets easier.
I’m hard as fuck and leaking with another guy dry humping me, so there’s really not much else to consider, is there?
“Remy,” he says. “Get out of your head.”
“I’m not in my head.” I lift my hips and increase the pressure. We’re on his bedroom floor like we were too impatient and eager to even get to the bed, and all the lights are on, making it impossible to hide what we’re doing. This isn’t jerking off together in a dark basement or giving handies and blowies in the middle of a group fuck. This is the two of us, bared and open, doing what we want to do together because there’s nothing else to blame it on.
Except for trauma. Maybe the fear of the past few days is catching up with us, making us desperate for a connection I’ve denied him since I got back home. But there’s no question in my mind that I’m acting on anything other than my own wants and needs. I want Zahn. He wants me. This is step one. Or maybe some middle step, but it’s the first one we’re making together.
“Are you okay with this?” he asks. His green eyes meet mine, almost shy.
“Stop treating me like a fucking pushover. If I wasn’t okay with it, I would shove you off. My dick’s hard, isn’t it?” I press it against his to make my point. “Just be the asshole you always are.”
“Fine,” he snaps.
With a wicked grin, he rises onto his knees and leans forward, reaching past my head to grab something from the nightstand. And holy fuck, his dick is right in front of my face. Flushed and swollen, hard and glistening at the tip. My tongue ends up gliding over my lips, but I know it wants to be gliding over that. I questioned myself before when I said I’d do it again, but having his hard cock right in front of my face takes all those hesitations away. Fuck yeah, I’d do it again.
Fucking Zahn-sexuality is confusing.
He sits back on my thighs with a bottle of lube in his hand. “What’s up, Rem?” he asks in a teasing tone, flipping the cap open. “Drooling for my dick?”
Okay, he’s back to being the asshole like I told him to be. When he squeezes lube onto his fingers, I snatch the bottle from him and pour some on my hand. I’m not hesitating because I’m just ready to feel our dicks glide together and watch this man in ruin. I lube up my dick and watch him do the same, our knuckles bumping as we work ourselves up so close together.
With each stroke, Zahn’s hand gets closer to mine. The challenge in his eyes is so like him, and the way his lips are ghosting with the start of a daring smirk makes me want to be just as bold. I think about smacking his hand away so I can grab us both, but in the name of challenging him, I pull away instead. With my arms behind my head, I give him full permission to go for it.
“I think you’re drooling for mine,” I say. “Let’s see what you got.”
His Dare grin is fucking beautiful. “No backing out now, Rem.”
Wasn’t planning on it.
His fingers brush my dick, and my eyes drop to watch. First, he just rubs us together without fisting us in his grip. The brush and tease of his heated cock against mine has my breath shuddering out of me in a choppy exhale, which makes him cocky. He grabs us both and starts jerking off.
“Fuck,” I groan, pressing my head into my hands.
He strokes us slow and languid, twisting his hand and rubbing his palm over the tips. I bite my lip to shut myself up, but when his body starts to rock, getting into it even more, I can’t help the gyration of my hips.
Zahn’s mouth falls open. “Fuck, do that again.”
I rock my hips and fuck his fist, gliding along his shaft as I do. I’m reminded of the night I watched gay porn and thought it wasn’t for me. This is for me. Fuck, is it ever. Our dicks look so pretty rubbing together, and the mix of our precum has my eyes transfixed.
I stop rocking and grab his thighs instead, pushing and pulling to make him rock on my cock. “Holy fuck this is good,” I mutter, watching everything. “I’m not gonna last.”
He pushes my shirt up my stomach and runs his fingers over my abs. “You’re gonna get covered in cum, Rem. You realize that, right?”
I fucking want it. I look up at him, offering my own grin. “Mhm.”
I’m an eager fucking slut because now that he’s mentioned it, I want to know what it feels like to be slicked with cum and writhing in pleasure under a man’s body—Zahn’s body. Pressure builds and my balls draw up, and Zahn’s glazed expression is everything I find attractive in a person because it’s so real. It’s desperation and addiction. It’s pleasure and no shame about chasing it. It’s our bond reflected back at me because there’s nothing and no one that makes me more comfortable than Zahn does.
“Fuck, keep going. I’m gonna come.” I dig my fingers into his hips and Zahn moans.
He grinds his body on mine, our cocks rubbing together in his perfect grip. His eyes shoot to mine. “Ahhh, Rem, I’m gonna come. Right now.”
The first pulse of his cum hits my stomach and coats his fist. When he rubs it in and uses it as lube, I lose myself to a tidal wave of euphoric pleasure and my mess joins his. As my abs clench and get covered in cum, my legs shake and my breath catches in my throat. Zahn’s moan draws me back to his face, and holy fucking hell…
“You’re hot,” I tell him for some weird reason. Things are blurting out of my mouth in the midst of orgasm and I can’t stop them. “Really hot. I never knew before… but now—oh my fucking god, this is good.”
Zahn lets out a small laugh, and then he’s buckling forward and his mouth is on mine, not really kissing, but breathing. “I’m fucking hooked on you now, Remy,” he whispers as we calm down. “No idea where this came from, but… it isn’t stopping.”
I run my hands up his sides, not feeling weird about it. When his bare stomach presses against mine, we slip together and the mess feels sexy. His hand drops us, leaving our cocks to slide together on their own.
“You confuse the shit out of me,” I tell him. “How can we go from nothing to… this?”
He shakes his head, forehead against mine. “No fucking idea. Half the time I want to kill you for fucking me up like this.” He laughs. “But mostly, I just want to see what sort of filthy shit we can get up to.” He smirks, kissing my lips lightly before pulling back. “Regrets?”
“None.”
“No second thoughts?”
“Oh, a fuck ton. But not about you. Trying to figure out how you turned me gay after twenty years of friendship.”
He barks out a laugh. “Oh, this is my fault?”
“Well, I tried checking out other guys, and I was gonna let that one guy touch me because I wanted to see if it’d do anything, but… nah. Just you. Pretty sure you’ve been leaving me subliminal messages for years and now they’re finally paying off.”
He smiles at me, looking genuinely happy. “I’ve had a brainwashing track on repeat through the headsets in our planes for years, man. You finally fell under my spell.”
I laugh. “I don’t doubt it.” I tap his hip and he climbs off, offering me a towel to clean up with.
We take turns in the bathroom, and I steal some of his clothes to wear so I don’t have to put my jeans back on. When we’re both dressed in sweats and t-shirts, he pauses to look at me.
“Hey, Rem?” he asks. Here we go. “You maybe wanna stay in here with me tonight?”
I can’t help my chuckle. “Are you asking me for a sleepover?”
“Hey! We used to do it all the time when we were kids!”
“Yeah, back when we both fit in this tiny-ass bed and way before we started fucking around with each other. I didn”t wanna do anything with you back then but talk about random shit and make dumb plans.” I look at his small bed. It’s a double, but we’re not small guys. “Yeah. I’ll sleep in this thing with you, but if you poke me in the ass with your dick, I’m booting you out.”
“I highly doubt that,” he taunts.
Great. And now my mind is thinking about actual penetrative sex… with Zahn. My best friend.
Shit. Weren’t we supposed to be finding our boundary lines? What happened to that search?