Chapter 19
19
“ T his is…busy.” I eyed the crowds, automatically hunching in on myself, making myself smaller.
“Babe.” Niccolò tucked his arm through mine, giving me a bright smile. “It’s gonna be okay. Anyway, we need you here today. You’re our resident football expert.”
“I’m not an expert. I watch it on TV sometimes…and live, now, I guess,” I mused as I kept my gaze fixed on Noah’s back, following him and Elliot through the tiered stands to our seats. Charlie had been the one to invite me—via Finn—but he hadn’t been able to make it in the end. I was saved from the stress of potentially letting Finn down rather than showing up alone when Niccolò had texted me to check if I was coming. Maybe “check” wasn’t the right word since he’d basically told me I was coming with him. He’d taken charge, sorting everything out, and all I’d had to do was wait outside my block of flats this morning at the specified time.
Now, here we were.
“You and Elliot are the ones who know about football,” Niccolò proclaimed. “You’re way more of an expert than me and Noah.”
“No, I don’t think I am.”
“You are.” He gently tugged on my arm, and I realised we’d come to a stop. As we settled onto the hard plastic seats, Nic gave me another bright smile, and I realised at once what he’d been trying to do. Distract me, and he’d managed it successfully, too.
Thanks , I mouthed, and he nodded, bouncing in his seat happily.
“Hey, Leo.”
I spun to face Noah. “Y-yeah?”
“Are you coming back to ours afterwards? Mario Kart rematch?”
“Me?” I stared at him. Why would he want me there? We didn’t even know each other, and there was nothing interesting about me.
“Yeah. You’re the only one who can give me a run for my money. I don’t feel challenged playing any of the others.” He smirked, and I couldn’t help laughing. “Finn will want you there, anyway. If you’re not there, he’ll be texting you or talking about you, so you should just come and put him out of his misery.”
My face warmed, and I shifted in my seat. “Um…”
“How is this my life?” Noah shook his head, changing the subject as if he realised I was uncomfortable. “Living with footballers, a footballer boyfriend, planning events for footballers and their—” At my sudden intake of breath, he paused. “Uh, their friends and whatever.”
“You brought it on yourself when you started dating Liam,” Elliot said from his other side.
“Yeah. I guess he’s worth it, though.” Noah sighed dramatically, then grinned. “It just hits me sometimes that this would have been my worst nightmare come true last year. It’s weird how things work out.”
In my head, I could hear Finn saying, What about a dare? I dare you to speak to one person , like he had when we’d been in the student union together and he’d been trying to give me flirting pointers. “O-oh? Why was it a nightmare?” I could do this. I could make conversation with someone.
“It’s a long story, but I’ll give you the highlights. When I was at school, there were some asshole footballers who made my life a misery…”
As he spoke, I found myself responding automatically, interjecting with comments and questions like we were having an actual conversation. We were having an actual conversation. And this confident guy had been through some of the same stuff I’d been through, too. Not bullied or teased for his shyness but singled out for being different. Somehow, knowing that gave me the confidence to speak to him like I would with my other friends.
My mind flashed back to my school days. Days I didn’t like to think about. If I was completely honest with myself, though, I had changed. I’d come a long way since then, and I was doing better now, even if it didn’t feel like it a lot of the time.
Our conversation came to a natural end when the teams came out, Nic pulling me to my feet with a strength that belied his size, clapping and cheering for the LSU team. The players knew the section we were seated in, and when my gaze found Finn’s, he was already looking at me. When our eyes met, he gave me a huge, beaming smile, and I smiled back, suddenly shy. Okay, I was always shy, but the way he was looking at me, like he was just so happy to see me there…
Fuck. I should’ve come to one of his matches before this, shouldn’t I? Even if it scared me. That was what best friends did. They supported each other. From now on, I was going to make it a priority to come to as many of his games as I could. Maybe I should bring Ed with me, too. I knew he’d been wanting to come and watch Finn play.
The game itself passed quickly, with Elliot and Noah disappearing at half-time and coming back with drinks and snacks for all of us. I bit down on my wobbly lip as I accepted their offerings, unable to believe that this was really happening to me and not wanting them to see how affected I was by their kind gestures. Niccolò leaned into me, placing his head on my shoulder, the way I’d seen him do with JJ, and squeezed my arm.
“They see you as one of us. You’re our friend,” he whispered, and my breath got caught in my throat.
“H-how did you know?” I managed. He gave me a sad smile.
“Babe, I can read you.” My eyes widened, and he immediately shook his head, his face more serious than I’d ever seen it. “Not…it’s not that obvious. I mean, it is to me. But I was there at the student union and at JJ’s afterwards, wasn’t I? And JJ’s spoken about you to me. Not, like, gossiping or anything, just a few things he’s mentioned that add up. People like you, you know. You’re nice, and sweet, and Finn’s a good guy, even though he ruined JJ’s favourite shoes. He wouldn’t be hanging out with you all the time if you were someone bad. No one cares if you’re shy.” He sucked in a breath. “No, they do care, but only about making you more comfortable. Do you understand?”
I couldn’t speak. I swallowed around the lump in my throat. Distantly, I was aware of a whistle blowing and the second half of the game beginning, but I couldn’t focus on anything except the words Niccolò had just spoken to me.
“Over here.” Nic pulled me along, his glittery football hoodie sparkling in the sun, which had finally made an appearance. Most of the spectators had left, with just the friends and family of the teams milling around, waiting for the players to appear from the changing rooms. Nic came to a stop right in front of the doors because, unlike me, he loved being front and centre of everything. I did my best to block everything else out, and when Noah and Elliot joined us, chatting easily about the match, I found myself relaxing.
“Ben!” Niccolò screeched, tearing away from us as the doors opened, throwing himself at his boyfriend and kissing all over his face. Bennett staggered backwards, laughing as he dropped his bag and swept Nic up into his arms. Noah and Liam moved to greet their own boyfriends, and I was left alone for a second until Finn appeared from behind the others.
He walked over to me, coming to a stop in front of me and lowering his duffel bag to the floor, his gaze searching.
“Hi. How did you get on with the others?”
“Good.” I moved closer. “Good.”
“Good,” he repeated, a smile curving over his lips.
“You were good. Really good.” It was true. He’d worked so hard out on the pitch and been so focused, and I was so proud of him.
His smile widened. “Yeah? That’s good.”
I nodded, and he stepped even closer.
“Enough of the word ‘good.’ What’s the protocol here? Am I allowed to hug my best friend?”
I didn’t reply verbally. Instead, I closed the final bit of distance between us, wrapping my arms around his neck. He sighed against me, bringing his arms around my waist.
“Mmm, that’s better. All my friends were getting hugs, and no one was hugging me.”
I drew back, smiling at his fake pout. Sliding my hand around to the front of his neck, I brushed my thumb over his lip. “Poor baby.”
“Aww. You called me baby, baby.”
“Shut up,” I mumbled. “I was calling you a baby. You said you didn’t like nicknames.”
“Maybe I might, if they come from you. Say it again.”
“No.”
“Yes.” He was grinning so happily it made my stomach do a swooping thing. I liked it. A lot.
“Finn.”
“Please, baby.”
“Fuck off.” I buried my head in the crook of his neck. “Baby.”
“Ha! I knew I could get you to say it.” His grip tightened, and with no warning, he spun us around, nearly sending us both to the floor as my leg tangled with his and I lost my balance. We righted ourselves, Finn shooting me a sheepish smile that gave me that same swooping feeling.
A throat cleared loudly from behind me. “As funny as it is to watch Finn almost face-plant the floor, we’re waiting to go. I won’t complain if you want to recreate it later, though. I’ll video it.”
When I turned, I saw Ander eyeing us with amusement, his hand clasped in Elliot’s. He jerked his head towards the car park. “Come on. We’re in the minibus. Leo, Noah’s driving you and E back with Nic.”
“Oh, yeah. Thanks.” I’d forgotten all about everything else around me, but now, everything filtered back in—the warm sun, the distant murmur of voices, and the noise of car engines starting up. Finn scooped up his bag, and we followed Ander and Elliot over to the car park, Finn’s arm brushing against mine. When we reached Noah’s car, Finn stopped, leaning in and pressing his mouth to my ear.
“So fucking proud of you,” he whispered. I felt his lips brush over my earlobe in a soft kiss, and then he was stepping backwards, lifting his hand in a wave. “See you at Ander’s house.”
When I climbed into the back seat of Noah’s VW Golf, Noah, Elliot, and Niccolò were deep in a heated discussion about the music that should be played on the drive back to campus, and I relaxed back against the headrest. No one was looking at me, or had been spying on me with Finn, or anything else my paranoid brain could conjure up.
I smiled.
“I didn’t come last!” Niccolò bounced in Bennett’s lap, waving his controller in the air. “Thanks, Leo.”
“Oh. No. It’s all you. I didn’t do anything.”
Finn leaned down, wrapping his arms around my shoulders. “Accept the thanks.”
I tilted my head so I could see him. He was seated on one of the sofas while I was sprawled on the floor in front of him, using a cushion propped up against his legs as a backrest. “Okay,” I said. I got a kiss to the cheek for that, and I couldn’t help my gaze darting around the room to see if anyone noticed. There were fewer people here than there had been at the football night, but there were still plenty of witnesses.
No one was looking, though, other than Noah, who simply raised a brow, tapping his controller. I nodded, and he elbowed Liam, getting him to pass his controller to me. We were playing casually—no tournament this time—but Noah had specifically asked me for a rematch, and now I had something to prove.
“A kiss for luck,” Finn murmured, brushing his lips over my cheek again before he released me, straightening up. My stomach was doing that swooping thing again, but I didn’t have time to think about what it meant right now. My reputation was at stake here.
We lined up—me, Noah, Preston, and their housemate Damon, and then the countdown began. Adrenaline flooded my body as I gripped the controller with sweaty palms.
Go .
We shot away from the start line.
“Fuck, yes, baby.” Finn had leaned forwards again, and now he was speaking low in my ear. “You’re ahead. Come on. You can do it.” I let his words filter through my brain as I skidded around the final bend, swerving to avoid a banana, the finish line in my sights. Noah was right on my heels—or wheels, I guessed—and I couldn’t afford to let him get past me. Except he tapped his controller lightly, knocking me to the left, and I lost precious seconds correcting my steering. We crossed the finish line at almost exactly the same time, but the display told me that Noah had won again, just milliseconds ahead of me.
“Good game.” Noah turned to me with a bright grin. “You almost had me until I knocked you off course.”
“That was a dirty trick. I wish I’d thought of it first.”
“Next time.”
We smiled at each other, and behind me, Finn squeezed my shoulders before circling his thumbs over my nape. His head was still lowered, dipping to my ear. “You almost had him.”
“Movie time!” Ander announced. “Travis is dicking down his girlfriend, so that means I get to choose what we watch.”
Liam threw a cushion at him. “Why do you get to choose? You don’t even live here.”
“Guest privileges. Tell him, Noah.”
Noah held up his hands. “Don’t get me involved in this.”
“Wanna go?” Finn murmured quietly. “We haven’t been to your flat for a while.”
I was taken aback by the rush of blood from my head to a certain other part of my body. He probably meant he wanted to play games, but I hoped he wanted to kiss me. Or maybe even more. Fuck, I wanted that.
I nodded, and he helped me to my feet, mumbling an excuse about coursework that no one bought, going by the smirks and knowing expressions. Somehow, I was okay with the teasing, mainly because my dick was doing the thinking for me. That was a novel experience.
As soon as we got back to my bedroom, Finn dropped his bag to the floor and then sat down in my gaming chair. He placed a set of headphones over his ears, handing me my own headphones, and wiggled the mouse to wake up the computer. I did my best to ignore the sudden disappointment heavy in my stomach. My monitor was still on the Lesath Legends home screen because we’d played a marathon online session against each other last night after I’d eventually left Finn’s house, and when Finn picked up the controller he normally used when he was here, I forced a smile. Okay, we were playing. This was good. I liked playing my favourite game with my favourite person. The other stuff wasn’t important.
“Leo.”
“What.”
“Come here.” Finn patted his lap, and I sat sideways on him. I could feel his gaze boring into the side of my head.
“Now what? Are we playing?”
He hummed. “Not yet. First of all, I have a dare for you.”
I couldn’t help stiffening. “What is it?”
Taking the headphones from my grip, he carefully placed them over my ears. The sound was a little muffled with them on, but I could still hear him easily.
“You look cute with those on. I dare you to tell me what you thought was going to happen when we came back here.”
“Th-that’s not a dare! It’s a truth.”
“Leo.”
When I looked at him, he was smiling, but he seemed a little unsure and a little hopeful. I inhaled, then exhaled.
“I didn’t think…it wasn’t what I thought was going to happen. I guess I wanted to…you know. Kiss or something. But only if you wanted to. I’m happy to play.”
The uncertainty disappeared from his expression, and I returned his smile. Wrapping his arms around me, he leaned in. “I set this up because I didn’t wanna pressure you into doing anything. I thought if I did it straight away, you wouldn’t have to be worrying about whether I wanted to kiss you, or—” He broke off with a shake of his head. “I dunno. I just didn’t want you to be uncomfortable or feel pressured.”
My arms went around his neck of their own accord. “I’m not.” Turning away, I glanced at my bed. “We…we might be more comfortable over there. I’m not sure if Secretlab made their gaming chairs with, uh, that in mind.”
“That?” He leaned in, smiling against the side of my face. “By ‘that,’ I hope you mean kissing.”
“And maybe more,” I said breathlessly.
“Fuck.” He groaned. “Yeah. Yes. More. Okay. Bed.”
Both of us ended up laughing as we ripped off our headphones and Finn threw the controller onto my desk, almost upending the chair as we scrambled to get to the bed. My humour died away when Finn had me on my back, pressing soft kisses across my face, and then took my lower lip between his teeth, biting down so gently that a whole flurry of butterflies erupted in my stomach.
Oh. That was what that swooping feeling had been earlier.
“Finn.”
“Yeah, baby?” He nipped at my jaw.
“Can I touch you today?” It was all I’d been able to think about since he’d made me come with his hand. It had felt so good, and while I was under no illusions that I’d be any good at it, I wanted to try.
A huff of breath skated across my skin as he lowered his head, burying it in my throat.“Fucking hell, Leo. Yeah. Course. You can do anything you want to me.”
“Anything?”
“Anything.”