Chapter 37
“Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.”
Brooks
Bathed in his moonlight
Driven on by Tilian’s breathy whines, I pushed my pinky into his ass. His fingers tightened in the grass and he let out a long moan.
“One of these days,” I panted, “You’re going to take my entire fist in your ass, Tilian.”
“Promise?”
“God, you’re too much. The things you do to me… Fuck.”
Freeing my fingers, I moved both of my hands around to the front of his thighs and gripped them tightly. With a hard yank, I pulled him onto his knees and back a few inches, guiding him onto my waiting dick.
“Oh my god,” he cried. Shakily, he settled on his elbows with his ass in the air.
“Tell me, baby.”
I moved more forcefully, keeping hold of his thighs so he remained exactly where I needed him.
He looked at me over his shoulder. “Your dick feels so good. It’s…”
“You can say it.”
“It’s perfect. You’re fucking perfect.”
“You make that word sound better than it should. Let me taste you,” I demanded.
He reached underneath him to stroke his thumb over his dick, then stretched his arm behind him. I swiped the precum with my tongue and bit down on his finger.
“Can I touch myself?” he pleaded.
“Fuck, you’re such a good boy for asking. But no.”
He whimpered and I scratched my nails around the sides of his thighs, making him shudder. I pushed all the way inside of him and paused for a second. The way he tried to take over the movement made me smile.
Even as I stayed still, I was so fucking close to cumming that holding off felt like it took more effort than I’d ever put into anything.
I tipped my head back as I started moving again. It had never been a struggle for me to make it last, but it felt like his ass was going to force the orgasm out of me, whether I wanted it yet or not.
Of course I fucking wanted it. But I also wanted more. What else could I ask for? Something. Anything.
I wrapped my fingers around the base of my dick, extending the feeling of tightness with each movement. Locking my hand around Tilian’s throat, I yanked him off of his elbows and settled him against my chest.
“You are taking me so fucking well, baby.” My teeth dug into the top of his ear. “Your lovely ass was made for my dick.”
“Brooks,” he breathed.
I let him tip his head enough to kiss me. “Touch your dick, but don’t cum yet.”
He whimpered into my mouth and I felt him convulse a little. I looked down to make sure he hadn’t lost control of himself. His grip was tight and his strokes were slow. As I sunk my teeth into his shoulder hard, I squeezed my fingers together to take away his breath. Any sound he made was trapped in his throat, only the vibrations against my palm as they tried to escape alerting me to them.
A long groan punctuated the intense throb of my dick. My chest was tight and my eyes began to water from my need to cum. I’d been keeping myself together, but I was ready to fucking explode.
Something cold hit my eye and my brow furrowed as I stared up at the sky. The drops fell faster, then it turned into a downpour. I was going to pull out of Tilian, even though it pissed me off, but he started laughing. He dropped his head back, letting the rain soak his face.
I licked the water on the side of his neck and began moving my hips. The rain sent a thrill through me as I fucked him, quickly driving myself back to the brink that had dissipated for a few moments.
“Fuck,” I growled in his ear. “God, you make it so hard not to cum.”
My words made him push back against me, meeting each of my movements. His ass slammed into my hips repeatedly, the sound drowned out by a clap of thunder. If we died for this glorious act, God had better let us into heaven because we were doing the lord’s work here.
I pushed my weight on him, forcing him to collapse onto his stomach. My knees slipped, but I regained my balance and shifted my hand around to the back of his neck, holding him in place while I fucked him into the muddy ground. He turned his head so that his cheek was pinned in the mud and he could breathe.
“Brooks, fuck… oh my god.”
His words forced a possessive growl from my throat. We were sinking further, barely managing not to slide. My body was blanketing his, leaving him no possible way to escape. Somehow, I just kept going.
I told him I was going to fucking break him. I may tell lies, but this was not one of those moments.
“Is your dick throbbing, Tilian?”
“Y-yes.”
“Do you want to mark this place forever, baby? Make it ours.”
“God, yes. Please… Please let me cum.”
“You’ve been holding back?”
“You told me… Not to cum.”
“Fuck, baby. You are so good for me.” My breath stuttered in his ear as my body heated. “Tell me who you belong to.”
“You, Brooks.”
“Yeah?”
“I belong to you. Fucking own me if it makes you happy.”
His words pushed me the rest of the way. The lightning in the sky paled in comparison to the electricity that radiated through my body.
I wrapped my arm around him and pulled him up against my chest. Burying my face in his neck, I reached for his dick.
“Cum… for me,” I barely managed to get out between pants.
He cried out and his entire body convulsed against me. The way his ass tightened ignited a final wave of pleasure. I loosened my grip and he moved to lie on his stomach.
When I looked down at him, his head was resting on his forearms and he was breathing heavily. I hissed as I pulled free of him and my sensitive tip passed the band of his ass. The hand I had on his neck softened, turning to a caress that traveled down his spine.
When he didn’t move, I took his arm and turned him onto his back. He stared up at the sky, dazed. Maybe I actually did break him.
I brushed my lips over his cheek, then traveled across his nose to the other side. When I looked at him again, he met my eyes.
“Are you okay?”
He nodded. I raised a brow as I stroked his face with the tips of my fingers. After a minute, I laid beside him. He scooted closer and rested his head on my chest with a contented sigh.
“I’ve never felt the need for aftercare,” he said. “Apparently, everyone else has just been extremely disappointing.”
Not turning away from the sky, even though the rain was getting in my eyes, I smiled. “Did you mean what you said or was it just a sex thing?”
He lifted his head and put a hand on my face as he kissed me. The frenzy was gone and only tenderness remained between us now.
“I don’t know how I get to have you, but yeah, I meant it.”
“You almost got fucking buried.”
“Worth it.”
I scanned both of our bodies. We were soaked, covered in mud, rain, lube, and cum.
“We’re filthy,” I noted.
“We should probably get dressed,” Tilian sighed. “In case anyone decides to go for an evening stroll.”
“In the rain?”
“We’re Washingtonians. Some of us like being in the rain.”
“Ah,” I mused. “That’s where the maniacal laughter came from.”
“Matches your maniacal energy.”
“Mm.” I lifted his chin and licked across his lips. “What can I say? You make me feel feral.”
“This was hotter than I expected.”
“Agreed. Why isn’t everyone doing this?”
“Because they’re prudish and don’t have crazy boyfriends who aren’t afraid of public sex.”
As he got to his feet, he seemed light, perfectly content. I admired his body while he gathered his clothes off the ground.
He was slim, but he wasn’t thin in the way he was self-conscious about. When he moved, I could see the lean muscles in his abs and arms. He really wasn’t much smaller than me. I just had more definition and a couple inches on him. The way his pelvic bones jutted out more as he stretched his arms was absolutely delicious.
He didn’t know how beautiful he was and that was a damn tragedy.
“You’re ogling,” he noted.
“I’m allowed.”
The rain had turned to a drizzle, not that it mattered since everything was fucking soaked. It was hard to even stay on my feet.
“Fuck,” I groaned. “I can’t get my jeans on. They’re too wet.”
“Looks like you’ll be walking back in your briefs,” Tilian said.
“I may have no shame, but I don’t think it’ll garner support if your parents know exactly what happened out here.”
He shrugged. “We’ll say we went for a dip in the lake. Swimming in the rain is a whole vibe.”
“Then, you have to be half-dressed too.”
“Fine, but only because I’m super into you.”
His words struck something in me. Now that we’d done this, all of my worries resurfaced. Sex had never made me attached, but now it made me feel like he’d wrapped himself around my heart.
I didn’t have a leash on him and the uncomfortable truth settled into my bones. He could leave. If he saw too much of me, if he knew the things I’d done, as recently as a few weeks ago, would he walk away?
When I didn’t say anything, he moved closer to me. His hand slid into mine, bringing me a sense of comfort as we headed toward the house. “You okay? You look distant now.”
“I’m not.”
“Why can’t you answer a simple question head-on?”
I stopped and turned to him, forcing a neutral expression. “I like you and I don’t want you to back out.”
His eyes softened and it made my chest feel tight because against my better judgment and despite the likely outcome of the future, I wanted to keep him. Forever, if he’d let me.
“That being said,” I went on, “attachments can be dissolved just like any feelings. Time can heal them or you simply cut them out. I can’t control your decisions and I sure as hell won’t sit around and wallow pointlessly. I’ll do what I do best: move on.”
“You act like you can just control your emotions however you want, but they’re not a case to win, Brooks. You said that I caught you off guard, which is why you’re here, doing this with me.”
I took his hand and started walking again. “You did, but I didn’t have to move forward with it. I could have, and probably should have, moved on.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“Because there’s a difference between being able to and wanting to. For once… I guess I decided to do something that’s entirely for me. When I was at my lowest point in a while, the person I wanted to see was you. It wasn’t for sex or to drown myself. It’s the way you make the quiet more bearable.”
It was silent for a few minutes, then he lifted my arm around his shoulder and wrapped his around my waist.
“You never have to be perfect with me, you know.”
I didn’t respond to his statement. There wasn’t anything to say because he was wrong. It didn’t just turn off. It never did.
I wrapped my hair around my hand, wishing I could put it up. It was the thing I liked most about myself, yet it felt like it was suffocating me. Every day, it grew longer, adding more inches that would be executed soon, along with whatever happiness I might find until that time.