Chapter 41
Tilian
Brooks tried to fight Kai when he came up behind him and pulled out his hair tie. He gave up quickly, though, and he was smiling. When Kai sat beside him, Sen dropped into his lap. Brooks perched his feet on the bench and leaned back against me.
I wasn’t relentless about his hair, but his friends had started to be. I was glad that I could run my fingers through the strands now. There was still a lingering smile on his face as he closed his eyes.
Ever since he opened up to me, he’d been in a better place. I could tell that he wasn’t faking it. He smiled in a way that was different than when I’d first met him. When he did feel a little down, he told me, and even though he didn’t always divulge exactly what caused it, he was letting me be there for him.
I leaned down to kiss him and he held me in place by the back of my neck for a few moments. After he dropped his head again, he lightly pinched my chin between his thumb and forefinger. The way he looked at me held so much warmth that I was trapped by his gaze.
“You’re lovely,” he said.
“Careful. You’ll give me a complex.”
“Good. I need you to know how beautiful you are, even if it turns you into an arrogant asshole.”
Kai scoffed. “Tilian, arrogant? I think the world would become off-balance.”
“I think we make the perfect balance.”
He made a sound of agreement- or it might’ve been disagreement- before he bit down on Sen’s neck.
“Jesus!” Sen shouted. “That one hurt.”
“That’s the point.”
“Oh my god. You used to be sweet.”
“Baby, I literally just took you on the best date of your life.”
“That’s debatable.”
“Oh, really?”
“What’d you do?” I asked.
Sen grinned at me. “He took me out on the town, but the sneaky bitch had set up a whole scavenger hunt and each time I solved one, it brought us to an activity. We went to the aquarium, some cheese tasting thing that was amazing, then to this glass blowing place where we got to make something together. Some other things too, but those were the best.”
My mouth dropped open and I looked at Brooks. He shook his head and flipped off Kai.
“You’re raising the bar, setting unattainable standards.”
“I attain them,” Kai replied with a smirk. “Not my fault you’re a terrible boyfriend.”
“I’m gonna have you assassinated.”
Sen laughed as he got to his feet. Kai followed and bit down on his neck again, earning a glare from his boyfriend.
“I have a class. You waiting for me?”
Sen pouted a little. “Skip it.”
“Fine.”
“That was easy,” I muttered. “Would you skip for me?”
“Not even if zombies were eating brains in the courtyard. Kai is just a bad student.”
“Straight As, Elrod,” he said with a smirk. “Not my fault you’re inadequate.”
Brooks flipped him off again before they headed toward the parking lot, looking as adorable as ever. I pushed on him to get him off of me, then grabbed his hand, already dragging him toward Marshall Hall. With a laugh, he tightened his grip and slowed me down.
“Desperate much, Tilian?”
“For you, always.”
His expression shifted into one that I knew meant he was thinking very dirty things. This time, he was the one who rushed. We’d barely made it inside my room before he shoved me up against the wall in the exact spot he’d first kissed me.
After my shirt came off, he began kissing my chest. I held onto his hair lightly, not applying pressure since he’d make me wait longer to have him as punishment for it.
I tugged on the collar of his shirt until he removed it. When he tried to kiss me again, I diverted to his neck. I licked up to his ear, then sucked on the lobe. His hand hit the wall next to me as his breath stuttered.
“How am I not tired of you yet?” he groaned.
My laugh was muffled against his skin. “You thought you would be?”
“I usually check out way earlier.”
“You were seeing Sadie for a while.”
“Not exclusively. I thought about it, but more because it felt like what I was supposed to do at that point.”
“Are you gonna get tired of me?”
“God, I hope not. I don’t think it’s even an option.”
His teeth snagged my lip and he held onto it as he kicked off his pants. I ran my hands up his abdomen to his chest. He bit down harder at the same moment that he stroked my dick.
“Look how fucking hard you are for me, baby.”
He swiped his thumb through my precum, then his, and brought it to my mouth. Without hesitation, I sealed my lips around it, tasting both of us together.
Grabbing onto my thighs, he lifted me off the ground. I kept myself attached to his lips, desperate for more. It was never enough.
When he started to pull back, I held onto him. “No.”
His dark chuckle only served to make my dick harden more. It was like a promise of what was to come, of what he wanted to do to me.
He moved away from the wall and I tightened my hold on his neck. After he grabbed the bottle of lube from my nightstand, he swiped everything off the top of it and set me down. I kept my legs around him while I watched him wet his dick.
“Question,” he said. “If I drive myself straight into you right now, will you break?”
“No.”
“Hm. That’s too bad. Let’s put it to the test anyway.”
The prospect of him fucking my ass without prepping shouldn’t have excited me so much, but it did.
When he grabbed my throat, my eyes rolled back. I took his wrist, silently urging him for more.
“Look at me,” he demanded in a gravelly voice.
As soon as I did, he cut off my air. His dark eyes were intense as he took me in. I was so lost in him that I was taken by surprise when he used his grip on my hip to yank me forward and push the tip of his dick inside of me. I couldn’t gasp, but my mouth opened and my face pinched.
He hummed as he moved a little further. “You can take it. I know you can.”
He moved slow, but every inch felt like a mile. It burned, yet I didn’t want him to stop.
“I’m gonna make you earn this orgasm. Your ass is going to take all of me, isn’t it?”
I barely managed to nod. His words settled low in my stomach and made heat spread across my skin.
My lungs were on fire from lack of air. I kept my panic at bay, continuing to stare into his eyes to convey that I trusted him with my body and even my life. Something passed over his expression, then he blinked a few times and returned to his smoldering intensity.
The faintest whimper tried to escape my throat before my head started to feel off. The fingers that gripped his wrist started to loosen and I realized that I was dangerously close to passing out.
His hand disappeared and he held onto the back of my neck firmly to keep me upright. As I drew in my first breath, he thrust in the last couple of inches. With the euphoria from the lack of oxygen, I throbbed with need, even as I was overwhelmed by how full my ass was.
He pulled out, then slammed into me hard, and I let out a choked moan.
“God,” he growled. “You make the perfect whore. But just for me. Right, baby?”
“Yes. Only yours.”
The warring sensations between the fading pain and the building pleasure were so fucking intense. My legs shook as he rubbed against my prostate repeatedly, quickly making me so hard that my precum leaked down my shaft.
Brooks streamed spit onto my dick before he lifted me again, pinning it between us. He shoved me into the wall and held onto my thighs with both hands, rocking me against him while he thrust into me.
“Ask me a question,” he said breathlessly.
“I, uh… Now?”
He nodded, dropping his forehead to mine.
Fuck, I couldn’t think right now. That was an absurd request.
“You’re… Mm… offering me a truth for free?”
“You have me feeling generous, baby.”
“Then generously… fuck… finish this first.”
“Please.”
Both of our stomachs stroked my shaft with every movement. It had me so close to cumming, but I was desperate to give him what he wanted, to please him, even in a ridiculous way like this.
“Who was your best lay?”
He dropped his face to my shoulder and laughed. “No. Absolutely not.”
“That means it’s not me.”
I swore when he suddenly carried me over to the bed and dropped me onto my back. Standing at the edge of it, he gripped my calves and bent my knees. His strokes slowed and lengthened. I watched a bead of sweat roll down his neck, then make a trail down his chest. I sat up as much as I could and swiped my tongue up his sternum, tasting the salt on his skin.
Brooks kissed my knee and stroked my thighs, underneath, around, and to the insides of them.
“It is you,” he said through a moan. “I just didn’t want you to think I said it only because my dick is inside of you.”
“You’re just trying to make me feel better.”
He shook his head. “You want honesty. What I feel when we’re together like this…” The fingers on my thigh moved to my dick and brushed softly over the head, making my hips jerk. “It’s different than the others. Those were just a release. An orgasm, that’s all. You… I feel something here and it makes the whole thing more powerful.”
His knees settled on the bed and he leaned over me, forcing my thighs up to my chest. Every snap of his hips was purposeful, somehow hitting me just right.
“Fuck, Tilian. Your tight fucking ass is gonna make me cum.”
“Please,” I whined.
“You want me to turn you into my perfect little cum slut, baby?”
A choked sound escaped me as I nodded. He fucked me harder, faster, relentlessly. The sound of his hips slamming against me with each stroke filled the space like a symphony, more beautiful than any instrument I’d ever heard.
“C-can I cum?”
“Beg,” he demanded, sounding like the goddamn devil.
“Please.”
“No.”
“Please, please. I can’t… hold it back.”
“Don’t you dare.”
“Fuck, please!” I cried. My eyes burned as desperation took over and I fought with everything I had to obey him.
He dropped down further and kissed me firmly. “Cum for me, baby. Cum the way only I can make you.”
I didn’t even need to touch my dick. My back arched off the mattress with the force of my orgasm, every muscle in my body tensing. Cum hit my chest and neck, then I felt Brooks’ tongue swipe along my skin. With a groan, he convulsed, keeping his mouth on me while his dick swelled in my ass and drowned it with his cum.
He carefully pulled free and I felt it start to leak out of me. Rising on his knees, he stared down at my ass, then licked his lips. Before him, I’d never had sex without a condom. I couldn’t deny that I fucking loved this feeling, especially when he looked at me like that.
“Remember when I said you’d be my cum slut?”
I didn’t have a good feeling about this, but I nodded.
A wicked smirk settled on his lips before he bent down and swiped my sensitive hole with his tongue. I whimpered from the sensation, then let out a gasp when he shoved his fingers inside of me. When he removed them, he licked and circled my rim. I watched in horror and fascination as he sucked the cum off of his fingers.
“No,” I said immediately.
He crawled up the bed and sealed his lips over mine. I tried to resist; I really did. This was Brooks, though, and even if it was possible to deny him something he demanded, I didn’t want to.
I opened my mouth and he pulled back, hovering a few inches above me as he streamed everything onto my tongue. The look in his eyes as I swallowed it filled me with pride from knowing that I’d pleased him.
He brushed my lower lip with two fingers, then brought them to his mouth.
“Is there anything you’re not into?” I asked.
“Furries. Tried it, not a fan. The fox tail butt plug was hot, but the girl freaked me out.”
“That’s a relief. I’d rather die than do that.”
With a soft laugh, he dropped onto his back beside me. Sweat glistened on his chest, so I ran my fingers over his skin. It made the dark olive tone shine, especially with the rays of sunlight coming in through the blinds.
Goddamn beautiful.
“Your turn to ask me something,” I said.
“Are you sure you want me? Even after seeing how fucked up I am?”
I was thrown off for a second. It hadn’t taken him more than a couple of seconds to ask, as if he was already pondering the question.
“You’re not fucked up. You’re a little damaged, but yeah, I’m sure. I want all of your broken pieces. They fit perfectly against my jagged edges.”
“But you’re not broken.”
“That’s what you’ve never understood. We’re all broken in some way. You don’t see it, but you’re a good person and considering the things that go on in your mind, that’s something you should be proud of. Some people couldn’t stay afloat, but you’re doing it.”
“’So much the worse for me that I am strong,’” he said softly.
“That’s the second time you’ve quoted that. Into classical literature, huh?”
“There’s something poignant about it. The way they portray the human experience is deep. I can feel it, more than I feel most things in my life.”
“I always sort of pitied Heathcliff. Is that weird?”
“No. He’s an immensely complex character and most people only see him as an asshole or even a villain, but I think they’re missing the importance of his story. Heathcliff spent his entire life inferior to those around him. I think the reason he and Cathy had this infatuation with each other is because it was akin to their love for themselves as innately selfish characters. They were obviously toxic as fuck, but what I got out of the story was the way a person’s entire life can be shaped by their experiences.
“Was he a bad person? Ultimately, yeah. He was beyond fucked up. But he developed a need to become better than the others because he was abused and felt small his whole life. It became a sort of revenge, but it still never made him happy. Everything he became was a product of his upbringing, his abuse, and his destructive relationship with not only Cathy, but himself. The next generation seemingly gets their healthy, happy ending, which both Heathcliff and Cathy were denied.”
“So,” I mused. “How someone responds to their experiences shapes their life.”
“Sure, I guess. But how much control do we have over what we become? Maybe some experiences create an unavoidable, and worse, irreparable outcome.”
“We also only see him through the eyes of other characters. We’ll never get to know his true motivations for anything he did or if he felt guilt over them. No matter how far gone he was, maybe in some timeline, he would’ve changed or something.”
Brooks shrugged. “It’s just fiction, but yeah. I like the nuance of it and it’s said to be one of the most ambiguous pieces of literature. Ultimately, it’s up to us to decide how to interpret it.”
“Maybe that’s the whole point.”
“Maybe it is.”
“Maybe the old lady was twisting the whole story and was actually the villain all along.” Pressing a kiss to his jaw, I raised up on one elbow. “I bet the showers are all empty right now.”
He grinned, clearing the gloom from our conversation. “Shared showers sound fucking disgusting, but I’ve drank out of a trash cup, so I guess we can do this.”
Again with the movie experience. He’d brought it up at least five times since it happened. I thought it was hilarious but there was no way in hell I’d get anywhere near that cup.