14. Ezekiel
14
Ezekiel
T here were so many thoughts swirling around in my mind, but they all centred around the same theme.
Sam was my mate.
And he was frightened.
Rightly so. From what I knew about him, his home was his sanctuary, the place he retreated to when the world became too much.
It wasn’t that any longer. What was more, this wasn’t the first time something like this had happened. It made me want to take him back to the compound, where nothing and no one could ever threaten his peace again.
Knowing what he’d told me about touch grounding him, I held his hand firmly. When we walked down the stairs, I went a step ahead of him, keeping my grip on him.
I hadn’t taken in much of the house when I’d burst inside. My focus had been on getting to Sam. I glanced around it now, not wanting to take my attention off him for long. It was small but homely. We were in his living room, surrounded by two sofas and a coffee table. A TV was on the wall with a games console beneath it. Beside that was another door that seemed to lead to the kitchen.
Sam exhaled beside me. “It looks fine. Better than fine, actually. I can’t remember the last time it looked this tidy.”
I wasn’t surprised—the Seraphim were excellent at making a location look as though nothing out of the ordinary had happened. It was a necessary skill given how often we were called in to cover up supe activity. “If anything isn’t where it’s supposed to be, just say and I’ll fix it.”
“It’s fine,” Sam said quietly. “Honestly, I’m so grateful.”
He looked towards the kitchen and paled. “They broke a window.”
“Yes.” I remembered the sound of the glass smashing vividly. With my supe senses, I’d had no problem hearing it even over the phone. “It will have been cleared up though. I imagine they will have covered the window with some boxes or whatever they could find. I can have someone out first thing in the morning though when…”
My voice trailed off when I realised Sam hadn’t moved. He was still staring, swaying slightly on the spot. “Sam?”
He didn’t respond. His hand slipped from mine, and I noticed his fingers jumping repetitively off each other. He twitched his head from side to side, almost like he was trying to shake water out of his ears.
I cupped his face, forcing his eyes to meet mine. “I’m here, baby. Tell me what to do.”
He focused on me and cleared his throat. It took him a couple of attempts, but finally he was able to get the words out. “Can you…can you check the glass? If there’s even a fragment in there, I’ll have to scrub the whole place and throw away my clothes. Yours too, if you’ll let me.”
“Of course.” I led him to the sofa, encouraging him to sit down. I had to stop myself from planting a kiss on his forehead.
“Wait.” He grabbed my forearm. “What if you step on glass?”
“I’ll be really careful,” I promised him. “I’ll watch where I’m going.”
“I can’t let you do it,” Sam said, misery painted over his face. “I’ve asked you to go in there, so it’ll be my fault if you get hurt. I need to do it myself.”
I tried to sort through to find the logic. “So it’s okay for you to get hurt, but not me?”
“Yep.”
“Nope.” There was no way that was happening. I put my hand on his shoulder, gently but firmly holding him in place. “You didn’t ask me, I’ve decided that’s what I want to do. In fact, I’m gasping for a cup of tea, so I’m going to go in the kitchen and make one. Okay?”
Sam’s lips twitched. “I know you’re humouring me.”
“Is it helping?” He grunted, which I took as a yes. “Great. How do you take your tea?”
“Zeke, it’s past nine p.m. and we’re in our mid-thirties.”
Technically I hadn’t been in my mid-thirties in a very long time. “And?”
“And if I have caffeine now, I won’t be able to sleep.”
I gave him a pointed look. “Are you really going to be able to sleep tonight anyway?”
“Eurgh, that’s true.” He flopped his head back on the sofa and shot me a mock glare. “I should be mad at you for knowing me so well.”
I winked at him. “You should be, but you secretly like it.”
“I do.” His eyes lingered on my chest again and I had to fight the urge to flex for him. “I like all sorts of things about you.”
Tempting as it was to flirt with him some more, I really needed to check the kitchen. Plus, tea was well known to cure all sorts of ailments.
At least, that’s what the British seem to believe.
After learning how Sam took his tea, I ventured into the kitchen. As I’d expected, the Seraphim had cleaned up all the glass and boarded up the window. There was a note pinned to it in Rami’s messy sprawl.
Double glazer booked for 10 a.m. tomorrow. Ez, check your phone.
I wondered what he’d told me that he couldn’t put in the note. When I checked, it quickly became obvious.
Rami
Property has been warded by myself, Micah, Benji and Nox. Make sure to add your own, especially over this window.
The reminder wasn’t necessary. I’d be adding my wards all over the fucking place. But it was good to know that, once again, the unit had my back. With that many wards, no one with ill intentions would be able to get within one hundred feet of Sam’s house.
Even so, the thought of him staying here…it didn’t sit well with me. Not that I’d be leaving him alone. His roof would become my home whenever he expected me to leave.
I couldn’t help but wish I could persuade him to come and stay at the compound. Ideally forever, but I wouldn’t rush him. I knew we were meant to be together, but Sam didn’t.
He needed to reach that conclusion on his own.
Suggesting a cohabiting situation, albeit a temporary one, with someone he’d only met in the flesh that day did seem a bit fast. Not for me—I didn’t give a fuck about things like that. But I suspected Sam would.
I wasn’t the only one thinking along those lines, given the messages that popped up from Benji.
Benji
I’ll set up the spare room in your suite in case Sam wants to come back here.
is there anything I can get for him that might make him more comfortable?
I thought hard before sending my response.
Ezekiel
Blackout blinds. He has them in his room here. He also uses a duvet with a blanket on top, so grab the one from my bed. The blue one, it’s the softest.
and install a deadbolt on the inside of his door. It’ll make him feel safer.
It wouldn’t stop anyone breaking in, but no one in the Seraphim would dream of invading his space that way. It wasn’t like anyone outside of the unit would break in either. It was the most secure location outside of both Heaven and Hell.
I was about to put my phone away but something else occurred to me.
Ezekiel
Get some Jelly Babies too. A share bag.
I waited until Benji sent a thumbs up before shoving my phone back in my pocket. With him sorting things, I could focus on Sam.
And hope that, somehow, I could persuade him to come and stay with me.
“Kitchen is clear,” I called through after doing a final check for glass. “Do you have a specific mug you like?”
Sam appeared in the doorway, warily eyeing the floor beneath my feet. “The green one. Thank you.”
“Is there one you’d prefer me to use?” I opened up the caddies, locating the teabags and sugar. Unlike me, Sam took his tea sweet. When he didn’t respond, I glanced over my shoulder. He was staring at me intently, that small furrow back between his brows. “Sam?”
“Um, any is fine.” He shook his head, then gave a sheepish chuckle. “Sorry, it just threw me that you asked.”
The kettle clicked off, giving me something to busy myself with so Sam didn’t feel under interrogation. “Is that not normal? For people to ask?”
“I don’t think so,” Sam mused. “Not that people have made tea in my house very often. But no, I don’t think it’d occur to them that I use a specific cup or might not want people using certain ones.”
I added the milk and shrugged. “Makes sense to me. Your brain likes things done a particular way. When I’ve learned what those ways are, I won’t need to ask. I’ll just be able to get on with things. Then you’ll be comfortable and I won’t be constantly asking questions.”
I turned with Sam’s mug in my hands to find him gaping at me. “What?”
“It’s just…” He seemed at a loss for words. “I’ve never had someone try to learn my triggers before. You don’t have to do that, you know. My illness isn’t something I expect other people to manage for me.”
I rolled my eyes, holding his mug out. “No offence, Sam, but that’s fucking ridiculous.”
“It’s not. It’s my problem, no one else’s.”
Oh dear. Sam was about to discover just how stubborn I could be. “So if you were cooking me dinner, you wouldn’t ask me if I had any food preferences?”
Now he was the one rolling his eyes. “Of course I would, but it’s not the same. That’s just being courteous.”
I crossed my arms. “Let’s say I was diabetic. What would you do then?”
Sam’s eyes narrowed as he spotted the trap I was neatly laying for him. “It’s not the same, Zeke.”
“Yes, it is. It’s exactly the same. You’d ask me what foods I couldn’t eat because you wouldn’t want to make my illness more difficult to manage. I’d go so far as to wager that you’d do some research of your own, so you could accommodate my needs without having to make me consider it.”
Sam’s chin hit his chest and he repeated his words, with less conviction this time. “It’s not the same.”
I touched his chin, lifting it so he could see how serious I was. “It is, Sam. Your mental health is exactly that, it’s your health. Just because it’s happening inside your head doesn’t make it any different to any other part of your body.”
He blinked and there was silver lining his eyes. “No one’s…no one has ever seen it that way before.”
I reluctantly moved my hand before I did something stupid like kiss him. “Then I’m sorry you’ve had inconsiderate people in your life, Sam. I have many flaws, but I don’t believe that’s one of them.”
He was quiet for a moment before the corner of his mouth tugged up. “I’m struggling to see any flaws at all.”
That, I laughed at. “Give it time, baby. They’ll all become clear eventually.”
It hadn’t escaped my notice that, despite my reassurance, Sam hadn’t stepped foot into the kitchen. “Come on, let’s go talk on that comfy looking sofa of yours.”
“You’re going to be disappointed,” Sam said, leading the way. “It looks far more comfortable than it actually is.”
I sat down, a spring immediately making its home in my right butt cheek. “Yep, you’re right. Major disappointment.”
Sam sipped his tea and I took the opportunity to have a better look at the space. I knew Sam pretty well already, but I had an intense need to glean whatever other tidbits I could.
The living room had some period features, including a fireplace. From the lack of wood and pokers, I was going to assume Sam didn’t use it. Well, not for its true purpose, but he did use it as a display. There was a giant Lego set there, tiny orange lights making it glow.
“Ah, it’s the cottage from Hocus Pocus ,” Sam said sheepishly, following my gaze. “I like Lego.”
“This is awesome,” I said, putting my tea on a little table next to me and dropping to my knees to inspect more closely. “How long did it take you?”
“About eight hours. Probably could’ve done it faster but I decided to stop halfway through to watch Hocus Pocus 2 .”
“I haven’t seen it,” I said, marvelling at all the details. “Actually, thinking about it, I don’t think I’ve seen the first one either.”
Sam gave a mock gasp. “How can you, someone who grew up in the nineties, have missed out on such a cultural phenomenon?”
I cursed internally. I was going to have to tell Sam the truth sooner rather than later. Keeping my true nature from him felt like I was being deceitful. It didn’t take a genius to work out that it wasn’t the best way to start a long-term relationship. Tonight wasn’t the right time though, not with him processing everything else.
“I think I’ve seen bits of it,” I said slowly. “Theo, one of my housemates, he’s really into films. And Disney. He loves Disney.”
“Can’t say I share his love for Disney, but I do have a soft spot for the films from my childhood.”
After perusing the entire model, I got back to my feet and rejoined Sam on the sofa. “Have you completed any other Lego sets?”
“A few.” He bit his lip. “Do you think that’s weird?”
“Not at all. If you enjoy it, then why not?”
He drained the last of his tea, putting his mug down with a sigh. “You’re certain those blokes aren’t going to be back?”
“Yes.” I wasn’t sure if they were even alive at this point, but if they were, they would’ve been compelled to stay far away from Sam. “Micah has reported it to the police already, so you don’t need to worry about doing that. From what he said, it sounds like they mistook your house for someone else’s.”
“Figures.” He tugged at his curls almost absently. “These houses do all look the same, especially in the dark. Crime is so common in this area that I’m half amazed I haven’t had more trouble.”
I tightened my hands into fists, my temper flaring at the mere suggestion that Sam might be in danger staying here. “I’m glad we got here as fast as we did.”
“About that…how did you get here so fast?”
“We were in the area,” I lied, hating that it was necessary. “Another thing I’m grateful for.”
“Me too.” He bounced his leg repetitively. “I’m sorry I didn’t give you my address. I wasn’t thinking straight.”
“Sam.” I put my hand on his knee, stilling it. “You don’t need to apologise, honestly. I get it. Your brain is loud on a normal day. When you’re put in a high-stress situation like you were tonight, it makes sense that you couldn’t reason with it.”
“Thank you.” He put his hand on top of mine, unleashing butterflies in my stomach. “At least it all ended okay. This time.”
Now I was in his life, he wouldn’t need to worry about things like this anymore. Again though, it wasn’t like I could tell him that. Not yet, anyway.
“Fuck knows how I’m going to be able to sleep here,” he said, exhaustion weighing heavily on him. “My lease is up soon. I might see if I can break it earlier. I’ll lose my deposit, but it’ll make it worth it for the peace of mind.”
“What will you do until then?”
He sighed. “I know it’s stupid, but I really can’t stay here, so I’ll probably look for a cheap hotel. I’ve got a bit of money put aside, so I can stretch it out to a week or two.”
I studied him closely, trying to decide the best way to pitch this. “You could do that…or you could crash at mine.”
He looked at me sharply. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
“Why is it ridiculous?”
“We’ve only just met, Zeke.” My hand slipped from his thigh as he got up and began to pace. “We don’t know each other.”
“Yes we do.” I fought the urge to get to my feet, to argue the way I would with anyone else. It was surprisingly easy to do. “We might’ve only met in person today, but I know you, Sam. What’s more, you know me. Better than anyone else, at this point.”
He came to a halt, his head dropping. I could almost see the two sides arguing in his brain. The logic warring with the emotional. “I can’t intrude on your space like that.”
“You won’t be. Believe me, we have enough space. You’d have your own room, complete with a lock on your door.”
“Oh.” His eyes darted up, then away, a flush brightening his cheeks. “I wouldn’t be sharing with you?”
Was that disappointment? Fuck, I hoped so.
Getting to my feet, I approached Sam slowly, giving him plenty of room to retreat. When he didn’t, I took both his hands in mine. “Don’t get me wrong, baby. If my bed is where you want to be, I’ll happily accommodate you. But given everything that’s happened, I figured it might be better if we took things slow.”
Sam chewed at his lip. “What about your housemates? There’s already so many of you living there, I’m sure they won’t want another person under their feet.”
I laughed. “That’s hilarious.”
He scowled, freeing one of his hands to poke me in the ribs. “I’m being serious, Zeke.”
My laugh faded. “I know, baby. But you’ll understand why it’s funny when you see how big the house is. I told you before, I have my own suite. We spend a lot of time together as a group, but we don’t have to. Everyone has their own space to retreat to.”
Sam looked stunned for a moment before shaking his head slowly. “I don’t know, Zeke. I’m not an easy person to live with. I’ll end up upsetting everyone. Then they’ll be upset with you. You might end up having to move out because I’ve made them all hate you and?—”
I gently put my hand over his lips. “Sam, there’s not a part of me that’s worried about that. If anything, I’m concerned about them irritating you. They’re a bunch of nosy fuckers who love nothing more than interfering. It comes from a place of love, but it’s annoying nonetheless.”
I removed my hand so he could speak. “Shouldn’t you ask them first? They might not want me there.”
Sensing he wasn’t going to budge unless I did this, I pulled out my phone. Opening our group chat, I typed out two messages in quick succession.
Ezekiel
I’m with Sam
In other words, ‘don’t say anything that’ll land me in hot water, fuckers.’
Ezekiel
I’m trying to persuade him to stay but he’s worried you might not want him there.
“You did not just say that,” Sam hissed.
“What did you want me to do?” I raised a brow. “You were worried about me not asking, and now I have.”
Sam closed his eyes like he was searching for patience. It made me grin. He was so fucking adorable.
And would have no problems fitting in with everyone else whatsoever.
The replies came through in quick succession which made sense. They were probably all in Sam’s room, getting things sorted as fast as possible.
Noah
Always happy to have more company!
Micah
I’ll feel better if he’s here after what he’s been through
Nox
I’ll be personally insulted if he doesn’t
Grace
Of course! He can stay in our quarters if he’d prefer
Breann
he can, but he’ll need ear defenders
Theo
ooo if we’re offering up rooms, he can have mine
Nate
stop hitting on him before he’s even here. it’s rude
Nate
we wait until Ez can punch us and then we hit on him
Benji
I don’t understand, why would him staying be a problem? Of course he’s welcome
Rami
he better come and stay, because you’ll be a miserable fucker otherwise
Rami
don’t make us suffer, Sam. For our sakes, please come and stay
Rami
PLEASE