16. Ezekiel
16
Ezekiel
S am was crying.
There were two walls between us. Three doors. A shower running.
But I could still hear him.
Sinking to the floor, I leaned my head against the wall and closed my eyes. Hearing him suffer and actively not going to him was killing me. My heart was yelling at me to kick down the doors and offer him some comfort.
But my brain and my instincts were saying the opposite. They were reminding me that I’d reassured Sam repeatedly that I was here if he needed or wanted me. That he clearly wanted to be left alone.
He wasn’t in the shower—I could tell from the sound of the water. The fact that he’d gone to the trouble of locking himself in another room and try to drown out the noise told me everything I needed to know.
Sam didn’t want me to comfort him right now. Whatever he was going through, he wanted to do it alone.
That didn’t make it any easier for me to weather. Every hitch in his breath, every sob, each one pierced me deep, creating wounds I wasn’t sure would ever heal.
He needs time, I reminded myself. You have to show him that you’ll be there for him no matter what. He needs to learn that he can rely on you.
I hadn’t quite wrapped my head around the fact that Sam, the man I’d been slowly falling for over the past few weeks, was my fated mate. Rami and Micah had been right—all that time wasted, worrying that he wasn’t meant to be mine.
All along, he had been.
There was a soft hiccup and my muscles went rigid. Fuck this. Sam wasn’t the only one in need of some reassurance.
Picking up my phone, I debated who would be best for this. Really, there was one obvious candidate.
Ezekiel
Sam is here. He’s upset.
Nox
okay, and you’re messaging me out of everyone because…?
I blew out an exasperated breath, reminding myself that Micah would be pissed if I killed his mate.
Even temporarily.
Ezekiel
because you went through something similar with Micah and I thought MAYBE you might be able to offer me some advice
but if you’re going to be a twat about it, I’ll go to someone else
Nox
back up, sunshine
it was a legitimate question
Sunshine. I rolled my eyes at his ironic nickname.
Ezekiel
so are you going to help me or not?
Nox
what exactly is the issue?
Sam’s upset and he doesn’t want me to comfort him
ah. I see. And it’s tearing you up because your mate is suffering.
My breath caught, my chest constricting.
Ezekiel
how do you know he’s my mate?
Nox
it’s not difficult to put together, based on how you acted this evening
add in the fact you’ve come to me of all people for advice…yeah. He’s your mate.
okay, fine. Sam’s my mate. He’s suffering right now, and it’s killing me
are you sure he doesn’t want you to comfort him?
yes
then you’ve gotta let him work through it. It fucking sucks, I know it does. I can’t remember how many times I was just waiting for Micah to reach out, knowing he was struggling and unable to do anything.
just keep showing up for him, day after day
and remind him that you’re there for him
that’s what I did. Worked out okay for me in the end.
I laughed bitterly.
Ezekiel
is that what we’re calling a near execution and a standoff with a Heavenly court? Okay?
Nox
well we weren’t executed, and I’m about to suck Micah’s cock…so you do the math
I groaned. Nox did love a bit of TMI.
Regardless, he’d made me feel better about my decision to leave Sam be unless he called me. Switching out of that chat, I opened the one with all of the Seraphim and Nox in.
Ezekiel
Sam is staying for the next seven days
He doesn’t know anything about the supe world. I will be telling him very soon, but I want to give him a minute to get over tonight first
And yes, he’s my mate. Fuck with him and die. Painfully.
Various dots started appearing from all of the Seraphim, but Micah responded fastest.
Micah
I know you all love to mess with Ez, but this is serious. Do not, under any circumstance, do anything to offend or upset Sam. Everyone clear?
Rami
we’re not that mean
Nate
speak for yourself
Theo
does that mean no hitting on him?
I sighed, turning the screen dark with a click. As much as they all gave me shit, I knew they wouldn’t intentionally fuck this up for me. Especially not now that Micah had given a direct order.
Trusting him to sort them out in the chat, I closed my eyes again, refocusing on my mate’s sorrow. My hand touched the wall and I could almost feel his pain bleeding through the space.
I’m here, baby. I’m right here.
I didn’t sleep a wink that night. I stayed in my position by the wall until Sam finally left the bathroom, retreating to his bed. Only when his breathing told me he’d fallen asleep did I move from my spot.
Even then, I didn’t go far. I had a quick shower and agonised over what to wear. After changing outfits a third time, I realised I was being ridiculous.
As I’d told Sam before, my looks weren’t the problem. It was my personality that tripped me up.
Seeing as there was nothing I could do to change that, I just had to pray that fate knew what it was doing, pairing the two of us together. Sure, we hadn’t had any real issues so far, but most of our interactions had been limited to screens or over the phone.
Now was the real test.
I spent the rest of the night putting together a plan of action. Messaging the group thread, I made sure everyone knew what needed to happen, starting with one of them dealing with the glazer at Sam’s house. I didn’t want him going back there, but at least I could get that sorted.
Given how much shit they gave me on a daily basis, I felt no guilt about putting them all to work.
Operation Make Sam Comfortable was a go.
As soon as I heard Sam stirring, I sent out the first alert. Less than a minute later, there was a soft tapping at the outer door to the wing.
I opened it to find Theo there, a heavily laden tray in his hands. I pulled the door in tight to me as he tried to peer over my shoulder.
“I just want a glimpse,” he whined as I took the tray from him. “Can’t believe you’ve met your mate before me.”
“I think you’ve got some growing up to do before you meet your mate,” I said before remembering he was helping me out. “Thank you for the breakfast, I appreciate it.”
Theo’s mouth popped open before he gathered himself. “Um, you’re welcome, I guess.”
He walked away scratching his head.
I closed the door quickly, carrying the tray over to the small coffee table. Not knowing what Sam preferred, I’d asked them to grab a little of everything. Even though Theo had brought the tray up, I knew Rami had been the one to prepare it. It was in all the thoughtful touches, like the slightly warmed croissants paired with tiny pots of both strawberry and raspberry jam.
Not wanting to disturb Sam before he was ready, I sent him a message.
Zeke
I’ve got breakfast for you in my living room. No rush.
His door creaked open barely a minute later. Sam was in his pyjamas, his curls in wild disarray. There was a pillow crease on his cheek and he was blinking owlishly.
It was a sight I wanted to wake up to every day. He was positively beautiful.
“Thank you,” he said around a yawn. “You didn’t have to do this.”
He took a seat beside me as I filled his mug from home with tea. “Technically I didn’t. Rami prepared the tray and Theo brought it up.”
Sam’s cheeks flushed. “They didn’t need to do that.”
“They wanted to,” I said simply, handing Sam his tea. “You’re important to me, so you’re important to them. They want to make a good impression on you.”
The sleepiness cleared from Sam’s face. “I’m important to you.”
“Of course you are,” I said roughly, buttering some toast just so I had something to do. As much as I wanted to be completely open with Sam, I wasn’t used to it. It’d been much easier last night. With the adrenaline riding me and the knowledge that Sam was my mate, I’d forgotten to be nervous. To feel awkward about baring my soul.
It was a little more difficult in the cold light of day.
His hand appeared on my thigh. “You’re important to me too, Zeke.”
There was no way for me to hide my grin. “Good.”
“I could’ve gone downstairs though,” he said, picking a pain au chocolat from the tray and nibbling at the edge. “I don’t expect people to wait on me.”
“I know. But I figured you might not want to deal with all of them right after waking up. Let’s at least get you caffeinated first.”
Sam chewed slowly while studying me. When he swallowed, he said, “You’re really thoughtful. Do you know that?”
Now it was my face flushing. “Nope, can’t say I’ve been told before.”
“Oh my god.” I glanced up to see Sam grinning. “You can’t take a compliment.”
“Yes, I can.”
“Reeeally.” Sam drew the word out over several syllables, mischief dancing in his eyes. “Let’s test that, shall we?”
My nose wrinkled, but Sam put down his breakfast and scooted closer, and all discomfort was replaced by a buzz of joy at having him there. Our knees were brushing now, but Sam wasn’t done. He cradled my face in his hands, stopping me from looking away. “You’re thoughtful.”
I scoffed, but didn’t pull away.
“Caring.”
Sam drew a little closer.
“Sensitive.”
His eyes darted down to my mouth.
“Hilarious.”
I wasn’t even breathing now. Sam’s lips were so close. Just one more movement and they’d be on mine.
“Protective.”
His lips brushed over mine; the lightest whisper of a kiss.
My heart stopped. It was barely anything, but somehow, it was everything.
The final word was spoken against my mouth. “Intuitive.”
His lips were hovering against mine, his hands trembling on my face. He didn’t take that final step though, like he was waiting for something.
You, you idiot. He’s waiting for you.
And he called me intuitive.
“Zeke,” he breathed. “Please.”
His words kicked my brain into high gear. The final syllable had barely left his lips before I was crushing his mouth to mine.
There were the usual physical sensations. His full lips parting. My tongue flicking over his. Hands lifting to cradle his face. Heat travelling down my spine. Pulse racing. Cock stiffening. All of that was to be expected.
It was what was beneath those physical sensations that rocked me to my core.
It was how everything in my head went quiet.
How my purpose rearranged itself around the man in my arms.
How my heart felt…complete.
Since I’d seen him on the street, there’d been no question in my mind that this man was my fated mate, but now, our lips moving in perfect synchronicity, it fully sank in.
Sam was mine. Mine to love. Mine to cherish. Mine to protect.
For the rest of eternity, he’d be mine to treasure. This was the first step on our path to our happily ever after.
I couldn’t fucking wait.
But there was no rush. What was more, I didn’t want to rush this. I was only going to fall in love with this man once.
And I was going to savour every step.
With that in mind, I reluctantly pulled away. I didn’t go far, leaning my forehead against Sam’s while cradling his face.
He chuckled. “And of course you kiss like a god.”
I laughed, forcing myself to pull away completely before I forgot all my good intentions and moved us along at a much faster pace.
That didn’t mean I could resist teasing him a little. “Wait until you find out what I can do when my mouth is on other parts of you. You haven’t seen anything yet.”
Sam’s eyes darkened. “Ah, so you can handle compliments if they’re of a sexual nature.”
I plucked a grape from the bunch on the tray and chucked it into my mouth before winking at Sam. “It’s not a compliment if it’s a fact.”
“I’m not sure there’s a difference.”
“There is.” I reached out and tugged on one of his curls, marvelling at how it bounced back into place. “Like me saying your hair is curly—that’s a fact. But saying it’s so beautifully thick, it makes me want to wrap it around my hands while you suck on my cock? That’s a compliment.”
Sam’s thin cotton bottoms did nothing to disguise his arousal. “So it’s down to interpretation. Because if my hair feels beautifully thick wrapped around your hands while I suck your cock, it’s no longer a compliment. It’s a fact.”
I couldn’t resist, I needed to touch him again. I feathered my fingers lightly along his arm, smiling at how he shivered. “Sounds like a theory we need to test.”
“I’m game when you are.” Sam’s gaze was on my mouth again. Was he picturing how it might be with our positions reversed? With me on my knees, showing him my promises weren’t an exaggeration? “In fact, I’m happy to carry out any kind of experiments.”
I reached down to rearrange myself with a muttered curse. Sam snickered, seeming far too pleased with himself. I glared at him. “You can laugh, but now we’ve got to go downstairs and meet the others, and all I’ll be thinking about is the various different… experiments we could be doing instead.”
Sam blinked, and it was like he’d shrunk in on himself a bit. All traces of arousal vanished, leaving anxiety in its place. “Do I have to meet them?”
“Sam.” I touched his cheek until he looked at me. “If you don’t want to meet them, you don’t have to. We can hide in here for as long as we like.”
He sighed. “Why do I feel like there’s a but coming?”
“Because you’re too smart for me.” I stroked his hair out of his eyes. “But it might be better to get it over and done with. Correct me if I’m wrong, but with OCD, the anxiety grows the longer you give in to a compulsion or intrusive thought, right?”
“I don’t know whether to be touched or annoyed that you’ve done some research.”
“Why would you be annoyed?”
He rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t stop his smile. “Because you know enough to prove me wrong. Like, I love it that you’ve taken the time to understand some of it, but hate that you don’t just automatically agree with me.”
“I’m sorry to break it to you, but that was unlikely to happen anyway.” I ruffled his hair once more before pulling away. “Agreeable isn’t an adjective my friends use to describe me.”
Sam hummed, picking up his mug once more. “Well, why don’t we finish up breakfast, and then I can find out exactly what adjectives they use?”