17. Sam
17
Sam
A n hour and a shower later, I was trailing after Zeke as he led me through the house. Or, as he called it, the compound.
In the daylight, it was even more grand than it had looked the night before. Strangely though, it wasn’t imposing. There were details everywhere, small touches that reminded you that this was a home. A vase filled with sunflowers on a console table, receipts and a set of keys beside it. Novelty teapots on the shelves of a Welsh dresser.
Most of all though, it was the photos. Interspersed between pieces of art were endless images of Zeke and his friends. From the quick glimpse I got, they seemed to have been taken all over the world.
And when I say ‘a quick glimpse,’ I mean exactly that. Zeke took my hand, rushing me past them so fast I almost tripped over my own feet.
“What’s the hurry?” I tried to look back over my shoulder at the frames.
“Nate might have plans today,” Zeke said, giving me a strained smile. “So if we want him to see what he can recover from your laptop, we need to catch him.”
“Oh, yes.”
We’d come to a stop in front of a door. From the loud chatter behind it, I was guessing this was where everyone was congregated. I tried not to think about it, focusing instead on how I was going to get my work done. “I’m going to have to pop out this morning and get a new one. Two of my authors need graphics today, and another needs a newsletter.”
“We’ll get it sorted,” Zeke said, squeezing my hand in reassurance. “Don’t worry about it.”
According to Zeke, it was reading week at the university, which explained why they were all home. He’d asked me if I wanted to meet them in smaller groups, but meeting them all at the same time would be better than dragging it out. He’d been right when he’d said my anxiety would grow the longer I avoided it.
A shout came from beyond the door, followed by a burst of laughter. Hmm. Maybe I’d been wrong in suggesting this route. I wasn’t worrying about my laptop anymore, instead pinning all my anxiety on this. “Okay.”
Zeke lifted our joined hands to his lips, brushing a kiss there. Instantly my mind went back to his bedroom. His sofa.
Maybe we should’ve stayed there and carried out some experiments instead.
He lowered our hands with a smirk. “I don’t know what you’re thinking to put that look in your eyes, but it has me wanting to toss you over my shoulder and take you back upstairs.”
I was about to suggest he did just that when the door suddenly swung open. A huge, stunning man filled the doorway, a knowing smile dancing on his lips. I couldn’t help but gape at his size. He made Zeke look small, which was saying something.
“Nope. No shenanigans in the house. Remember?” the other man said.
Zeke glared at him. “That rule applies to the public areas, not that Nox and Micah have ever stuck to that.”
“Guilty,” a chipper voice called out.
“Well, no running away now.” The man’s brown eyes were kind as he smiled at me. “Not when we’re all dying to meet your…friend.”
Zeke dragged the hand not holding mine over his face with a groan before giving me a tight smile. “Sam, this is Rami.”
“Pleased to meet you.” Rami extended a giant hand for me to shake. Instantly, I felt sweat break out on my forehead. If I shook it, how long would it be before I could sneak away to wash my hands? Oh, god. How many hands was I going to have to shake before I would be able to leave the room?
The reality of what I was facing was suddenly too much. My breathing sped up as my temperature rose.
Rami’s smile faded the longer he waited, his hand dropping slightly.
‘ See? You’re not even in the room yet, and you’re already fucking up. ’
Taking a deep breath, I forced a smile to my face and lifted my hand. Before I could clasp Rami’s though, Zeke knocked it down.
“No.” He was glaring at Rami again. “Keep your hands to yourself.”
I shot Rami an apologetic look as Zeke shouldered past him, towing me along with him. “That goes for the rest of you too. You can look at Sam, but don’t touch him.”
“Is he an exhibit in a museum?” The question came from a tall man sitting on the counter. He had a shock of white hair and…were those lilac eyes?
“He’s pretty enough to be.” My head whipped around at that, and I had to blink. Nope, I wasn’t seeing double. They were twins.
Twins who were unashamedly gawking at me.
“Behave.” A man who’d been seated at a table got to his feet and approached us. With his pressed chinos and kind smile, I recognised him from the night before. Micah. “Hi, Sam. Please ignore Nate and Theo. We’re trying to house train them but we’ve got a way to go yet.”
One of the twins stage-whispered to the other. “Does that mean we can piss all over Sam and claim him as ours?”
A low growl came from beside me, making me jump. Zeke, that noise was coming from Zeke. Zeke who was now staring at the twins with murder in his eyes. “Joking about that is going to make this very messy very fucking fast.”
A willowy man with purple hair stepped up to the twins, clipping one around the ear, then the other. “Enough. I know you’re stupid, but are you seriously this stupid?”
“Evidence would suggest they are, Noah,” a statuesque woman by the kettle muttered. When she saw she had my attention, she grinned. “I promise, the rest of us are better behaved. I’m Breann, and this beautiful woman here is my Grace.”
The blonde beside her blushed, giving me a small wave. Breann was right, Grace was beautiful. In fact, every single person in this kitchen looked like they’d stepped off the cover of a magazine.
All except the one who was now approaching us, an almost sardonic tilt to his lips. With his dark hair, piercings, and tattoos, he’d have looked more at home on the cover of a dark romance novel than a magazine. “I’m Nox. Any problems with the others, just let me know…and I’ll have Micah deal with them.”
From the arm Micah slipped around Nox’s waist, I was going to assume they were together.
Everyone was smiling at me so warmly, it was surprisingly easy to return it. “Hi, everyone. Thanks for letting me gatecrash, and thank you for coming to my aid last night. I hope the blokes didn’t give you too much trouble.”
Rami, who was sipping from some tea, choked. It must’ve gone down the wrong tube. Poor guy, I hated it when that happened.
“It’s no problem,” Micah said, shooting Rami a bemused look. Perhaps the giant man was often clumsy. “You’re welcome to stay as long as you’d like.”
“Forever is good.” One of the twins hopped off the counter and sauntered over. He was completely unabashed in how his gaze swept over me, head to toe. “Although are you sure Ezekiel is the one you want? I promise I’m much more fun.”
Zeke stiffened beside me, taking a step forward. “Say one more word, Theo, and I’ll?—”
I tugged on Zeke’s arm. Couldn’t he see that Theo was intentionally trying to get a rise out of him? Besides, despite how grateful I was for all of them being so welcoming, I was more than ready for them to turn their attention elsewhere. I was starting to feel like I was inside a fishbowl and my skin felt too tight. “It’s fine, Zeke.”
Several heads snapped our way, but the question came from behind us. “Zeke?”
I looked over my shoulder to see yet another person. Unlike the rest of them, this man was on the shorter side. His keen eyes were focused on us. “Why is he calling you Zeke? Is that what you prefer? Why haven’t you said something before?”
Zeke let go of my hand and my pulse picked up. Thankfully, he wasn’t going far, his arm going around my shoulders and tucking me to his side. “He’s calling me Zeke because that’s the name I used online. As for the other questions, no, I don’t want you calling me it, thank you very much. It’s Sam’s name for me.”
“Aww.” Nate came up to drop his arm around his twin’s shoulders. Their googly eye expressions were eerily identical. “They are so cute.”
The newcomer didn’t acknowledge what Zeke had said, just blinked before turning his focus to me. “Hello. I’m Benjamin, but I prefer to go by Benji.”
“Sam,” I said before hesitating. I should offer to shake his hand, right? They were going to think I was weird if I didn’t.
Benji’s eyes darted down to my hand. I followed his gaze to find I was tapping my fingers off each other. Fuck, I hadn’t even noticed. It was a soothing mechanism, one that generally only came out when I was stressed.
Mortified that Benji had noticed, I tried to smile. “It’s really nice to meet you. All of you.”
Benji’s brow crinkled. “Why would you say that? I highly doubt the twins made this a pleasant experience.”
Zeke lifted his hand, rubbing at his chin as though he was trying to hide a grin. “Say it like it is, Benji.”
The furrow deepened. “How else am I supposed to say it?”
My smile, this time, was genuine. Not because I was laughing at Benji, I wasn’t. But I was willing to bet good money that his brain worked in a way that was more similar to mine than anyone else in this room.
Maybe this would be okay after all.
W ith the introductions done, everyone went about helping themselves to breakfast. There were platters of food everywhere, countless portions of bacon and eggs, dozens of pastries, and even a pan of porridge on the stove. From how they were all piling up their plates, it wouldn’t last long.
Having already eaten, Zeke and I were sitting at the giant kitchen table. Although the focus was no longer on me, I couldn’t help but notice the furtive, curious glances being thrown at the two of us.
“I take it you don’t bring men home often?” I whispered to Zeke. Our chairs were so close together I may as well have been on his lap. I felt no shame in it though—his leg pressed to mine and his arm around my shoulders were all that was keeping me sane amongst this…chaos. Fortunately, the chair he’d led me to had been in the perfect place—back to the wall and far from both the doors and the windows.
Zeke’s lips twitched in an almost smirk. “You’re the first.”
I bit back my smile. “Wow. You really do hate your housemates. All the men you could’ve brought home and you chose me. The broken one. I see your plan now, you’re going to let me drive them all crazy for you.”
Zeke met my gaze solemnly. “If I’m going to do something, I’m going to do it properly.”
We stared at each other, waiting for the other to break. Naturally, I went first. My laughter unleashed Zeke’s, and then we were both giggling like a pair of naughty children.
“I love that you match my weird,” I said to Zeke when I got myself under control.
He snorted. “Is it matching it when I’ve always been this weird?”
“It’s match your freak.” One of the twins, I wasn’t sure which, sat in a chair to my left. I jolted at the reminder that we had an audience. “Not match your weird. I think I’m missing the joke though—how will you be driving us crazy?”
My good mood vanished in a blink as I became aware it wasn’t only his attention we held, but everyone in the kitchen. I opened my mouth to tell them about my OCD, but with all of them staring at me, I couldn’t speak.
‘ If you tell them, they’ll make you leave straight away. Zeke won’t want anything to do with you anymore either. He won’t choose you over his friends. ’
My mouth snapped shut. I had to tell them. I knew that. I didn’t hide my OCD, especially not from people I spent time with.
But I couldn’t. Not right now.
Zeke’s hand found its way onto my thigh. “It’s an inside joke, Nate. You’d know what that was if you had friends outside of this group.”
Nate’s face flushed as several around the kitchen crowed and applauded. It itched at my skin as I fought the urge to cover my ears. I really should’ve brought my Loops from my house. They were discreet ear plugs that allowed me to hear conversation but blocked out louder noises.
When the noise died down, Benji piped up. “You don’t need to worry about driving anybody crazy, Sam. On the scale of weird shit happening in this house, I promise you won’t even be categorised as a one.”
He said that now, but that was because he didn’t know the truth. Summoning my courage, I fixed my face into a smile. “It can’t be too weird. I don’t imagine a bunch of professors get up to anything too wild.”
There was a pregnant pause around the table as all eyes flicked to Zeke.
“Okay, I’m going to show Sam around,” Zeke said, getting to his feet and offering me his hand. “Nate, can we meet in your office in about thirty minutes? Sam’s laptop needs to be looked at.”
“Only if you have time,” I added hastily. “I don’t want to be an imposition.”
Nate waved me off. “Nah, it’s fine. I’ve got plenty of time before I need to go do some…professoring.”
Zeke tugged me out of the kitchen before I could wonder about Nate’s unusual turn of phrase. Surely, as a professor, he had to know that wasn’t a verb, right? And hadn’t Zeke said it was reading week?
I shook my head. I was reading too much into things like always. Nate probably meant he had marking or planning to do.
Zeke turned to me with an apologetic smile. “Sorry to rush you out of there.”
“It’s okay. I was reaching my noise limit anyway.”
He tilted his head inquisitively. “Noise limit?”
“Just another idiosyncrasy,” I said, giving him a tight smile. “This one is thanks to sensory processing disorder. Sometimes, if I’m overstimulated, it feels like the noise is physically pulling at me. Like it’s under my skin, burrowing away. Same with bright lights or certain textures. Sometimes I can tolerate them, other times it’s impossible. It all depends on my mood and mental state at the time.”
“Huh. So the noise level in there was okay for a bit, but not towards the end?”
I nodded. “The longer I spend in a room I’m uncomfortable in, the faster I become overstimulated.”
Zeke’s eyes grew round. “You were uncomfortable?”
“No,” I said softly, squeezing his hand. “That came out clumsily. What I meant to say was, I was able to tolerate it for so long because of how comfortable I was feeling. Normally, that situation would’ve seen me dipping out almost instantly, but I was…surprisingly okay.”
His grin had me wondering how anyone could consider him grumpy. “Good. Comfortable is absolutely how I want you to feel while you’re here.”
We started walking again, and I realised how lucky I was. For the next seven days, I was going to be spending time with these people. With Zeke.
If I didn’t fuck it up, there might be a chance for something more. For something I hadn’t let myself hope for in a very long time.
A happy future.