Chapter 28
28
AGE 20
“ W hat the fuck, Breda?” I bark, noticing the empty pint glass in her hand. What a cunt. I turn Vivien around to inspect the damage. She’s fucking soaked. Wispy strands of her dark hair are plastered to her wet brow, and her makeup is sliding off her face. Green face paint is streaking down her cheeks, and her T-shirt is molded to her body like a second skin. I curse, tossing a venomous look in Breda’s direction before focusing my attention on Vivien. “Are you okay?”
“I need to go.” She tries to free herself from our embrace, but I’m not having it.
“You’re not going anywhere.”
“I’m a fucking mess, Dillon,” she says, and I hate the way her voice trembles.
I should have asked someone to get the bouncer for me and had that bitch tossed outside earlier. Then this wouldn’t have happened. Knowing Vivien’s recent history, I can guess where her head has gone. I hate that I’m the reason she got a drink thrown over her tonight. Vivien isn’t the reason I kicked Breda to the curb. Bitch did that all by herself, and I’m fucked if she’s going to take it out on an innocent woman.
Vivien will not be belittled, harassed, or abused on my watch.
“I have a spare shirt in my bag, and I’ll take you to the staff toilets to clean up. She’s not ruining your night.” Taking Vivien’s hand, I link our fingers together.
“C’mon, Dillon. It was only a joke,” Breda says.
“You’re a clingy, jealous cunt, and I’m sick of your shit.” I slant her a dark look. “You’re not welcome around us anymore, so fuck off.”
She goes on a bit of a rant, but I’m done with her. Vivien is my sole priority. I take her to the staff entrance, and we head inside, away from the heat, the noise, and crazy-ass Breda. “I’m really sorry about that,” I say as I lead her along the hallway, loving the feel of her warm, soft hand in mine.
“It’s not your fault your psycho radar is out of whack,” she drawls.
“I’m pretty sure it is my fault,” I say as I lead her into the cloakroom. “I only brought her to your party to wind you up, and now she’s like a dose of bad breath I can’t shake.” I grab my bag and drop it on the ground.
“Nice analogy.”
I open my bag and search through it for the things I need. “Here.” I hand her one of my black T-shirts. “These might help too,” I add, offering her a pack of skin wipes. She arches an elegant brow, and I grin. “Don’t judge. It gets hot as fuck under stage lights.” I stand and point behind her. “Toilet is right across the hall. Take as long as you need. I’ll be right here.”
I watch her walk off, staring at the door long after she’s disappeared inside. Rezipping my bag, I stuff it back in the cubbyhole and head out into the hallway to wait for her.
Things were going so well tonight until Breda had to go and ruin it. I’m betting Vivien is in there telling herself this scene is not unlike the one she just escaped from in L.A. Any progress I’ve made is most likely undone now, and I’ll have to work harder to convince her it’s not the same.
For one, I’m not my twin. He didn’t protect Vivien, and I’m not going to make the same mistake. What happened tonight will never happen again. None of the girls I fucked in the past will be getting near Vivien again. She doesn’t deserve to pay the price for their jealousy. I’m just not sure how I can convince her things will be different this time.
The bathroom door opens, and she reappears in front of me, fresh-faced and looking sexy as sin in my shirt. She has it twisted into a knot under her tits, exposing a large section of toned skin I had my hands all over a little while ago. Lust slams into me. “Fuck me.” I drag a hand through my hair. “You look too fucking good in my shirt.”
I move on autopilot, pinning her to the wall with my body and caging her in between my arms. I breathe in the scent that is uniquely Vivien Mills, and I’m consumed with desire. I need to taste her, or I’ll go insane. I’m seconds from crashing my mouth to hers when my brother’s words return to me. I need to go slow. Let her set the pace. It hurts me not to take control and give us both what we want, but I need to learn patience from somewhere. Right now, I see the conflict raging across her face, and I know she’s talking herself out of it before she confirms it with her words.
“I need to go.” She pushes on my chest, and I take a step back. Her eyes lower to the floor.
“Don’t do that.” I hold her chin and tip it up so those pretty eyes are looking at me. “Don’t shut me out. I know you were into it downstairs.” I touch her cheek. “I promise I’ll tone down my default setting if you don’t push me away.”
Her gaze dips to my mouth, and I lick my lips as lust wars with logic inside me. My movements are slow as I press my body against hers, giving her time and space to stop me. Sweeping my fingers along her neck, I rub my nose against hers, wanting to be much closer but knowing I can’t force this even if she wants this deep down inside.
She drops her wet shirt to the floor and grabs my waist. I take that as my cue to keep going. My lips replace my fingers at her neck, and the little breathy moan she emits when my mouth glides against her soft flesh is music to my ears.
She needs me as much as I need her.
I kiss up and down her neck, wanting to move to her mouth and worship her lips but she’s got to give me permission. Her hips buck against mine, and there’s no way she doesn’t feel my erection. “I know you want this as much as me,” I whisper, moving my lips to her jaw and edging closer to her mouth. “Stop fighting it. Give your body what it needs.” Taking a chance, I run one finger along the waistband of her jeans, and that’s all it takes to break the spell.
“No.” Vivien pushes firmly on my shoulders. “I can’t do this.”
I immediately release her and step back, knowing I’ve lost her. Disappointment swirls in my veins, but this isn’t about me. She’s stopping this for a reason, and I need her to say it. “What are you so afraid of? I won’t hurt you. I promise.” Pain spreads across my chest when her eyes automatically fill with tears.
“You shouldn’t make promises you don’t know you can keep.”
Instinctively, I reach for her, needing to hold her and comfort her, but she evades my touch, running along the hallway and exiting through the door.
I don’t immediately follow because Vivien is right. I’m lying to myself as much as I’m lying to her. I can’t promise Vivien I won’t hurt her. Not when my entire plan hinges on her falling so desperately in love with me she’ll be a broken shell when she returns to him.
I don’t know how long I stay in the hallway, torturing myself with so many conflicting emotions and thoughts, but my heart is still heavy when I finally make my way outside.
Vivien, Audrey, and Ash are long gone by the time I make it back downstairs to our regular table in the pub. I order a beer and take a seat beside Conor, still all up in my feelings. Ro is making out with some bird in the corner—that didn’t take long—and Aoife is perched on Jay’s lap. Breda isn’t around. Lucky for her as I’m liable to do anything to that bitch if she dares show her face here again tonight. I’ll definitely be calling the manager tomorrow and getting her barred.
“Dillon.”
Hell no. I do not have the patience for this. “Fuck off, Aoife,” I say without even looking up at her.
“I need to say something, and I swear I’ll never come near you again.”
I snort out a harsh laugh. “You sound like a broken record, and your words are empty.” A lot like the ache in my chest, which is back full force. I swallow a mouthful of beer, wishing I could rewind time and get a do-over.
The seat dips beside me, and I growl in annoyance, planning to ignore her until she gets the fucking message and pisses off.
“I’m so sorry about last night, Dillon. It was unforgivable, and you’re right; if any man did that, there’d be hell to pay.”
Against my better judgment, I turn my head and look at her.
She stares at me with big, sad eyes, clutching her hands nervously in her lap. “I’m disgusted with myself and so incredibly sorry for treating you like that. I know I don’t deserve it, but I’m hoping some day you can find it in your heart to forgive me. It was a mistake. You’ve been telling me, and I haven’t been listening. That’s all on me.”
Her eyes drop to her lap. “I know we are over, and I respect your decision. I won’t touch you again or even speak to you unless you want me to. I promise I will respect the boundaries you’ve set. I understand I’m not welcome to stay over at your place, and that’s totally fine. I get it.” She raises her gaze to mine. “Just please don’t take all this from me.” Her eyes dart around the crowded pub. “I don’t have much in my life. I hate my job. My family suck. I don’t have many friends. I live for this scene. Music soothes my soul, and getting to be around the band, to feel like a part of something, it matters more than I can say.”
Her voice is meek, and she seems sincere, but it’s so hard to trust any of the girls that frequent the indie scene.
“I won’t cause any more trouble. I promise. Just please don’t cut me off from the band.” Her eyes well up as she pleads with me. “I’m begging, Dil.”
I hope I don’t end up regretting this. “As long as you stay away from me and respect my boundaries, I can give you one final chance, but this is it, Aoife. One more strike, and you’re permanently out.”
“Thank you, Dillon.” She moves to hug me but stops herself in time when she sees the expression on my face.
“This extends to Ash and Vivien too,” I add. “You will show them respect.”
She readily nods. “I swear I won’t cause any problems.”
“Make sure of it,” I warn before returning to my beer and my sulking and dismissing her.