Chapter 26
TWENTY-SIX
I finish the last of my surgery notes and glance over to the bird, where she’s wrapped in a towel and just starting to come out of anesthesia.
Jessica, the vet tech, steps forward to reach for her, ready to settle her in for recovery. But before she can, I raise my hand to stop her.
“I’ll do it,” I say.
Her brows lift in surprise. “Nothing better to do today?”
I chuckle, shaking my head as I carefully pick up the bird, keeping her loosely wrapped in the towel. “I just have a soft spot for this one.”
Jessica watches me for a moment as I carefully support the bird's head, her lips curving up in a knowing smile. “You mean the guy who brought her in?”
I smile. “Got me.”
“Adorable.” She shakes her head with a sigh, turning towards the door. “Why are all the good ones gay?”
I chuckle again as she heads out, leaving just me and the bird in the quiet, dimly lit recovery room. The bird is still dazed from the anesthesia as her little eyes blink slowly, and she rests in my arms. And now that I finally have a moment, I pull out my phone to see a series of texts lighting up the screen.
Arthur
Are you starting now?
I assume you are because you’re not texting back.
Can you let me know how it goes?
Is it supposed to take this long?
Is everything ok?
Even though I feel bad that he was so worried this whole time, a smile tugs at my lips as I tap out my response to him.
She’s a rock star. All finished, and everything was textbook. She’s coming out of anesthesia now. Where are you? You can come see her.
The bird stirs in my hands, and my heart skips a beat as I tense. My phone buzzes again, but I keep my eyes on her, hoping this slight movement isn’t a sign of recovery delirium and that she’ll start vigorously flapping her wings. But thankfully, she settles, and I let out a breath.
Thank god.
I can be there in thirteen minutes.
I chuckle at the precision, and the fact that he’s so close. He must have chosen a shooting location nearby today because he was worried about her.
Text me when you’re here, I’ll meet you at the front entrance .
I slip my phone back into my pocket and carefully adjust the bird in my hands, making sure she’s stable before checking her vitals again. Her heart rate, temperature, and breath sounds are steady… but I can’t relax just yet.
Even though I was confident she'd pull through the surgery, there's always a risk when it comes to putting a small bird under anesthesia. And I didn't allow myself to think about what it would mean if she didn’t make it. The thought of breaking Arthur’s heart is something I can’t even begin to process.
But we’re not out of the woods yet. The critical window isn’t closed until three hours post-anesthesia, and she needs to be held and supported until she’s awake enough to stand. There's still a chance she could experience recovery delirium before then, where disorientation could lead to self-trauma… and that could be fatal.
“Looks like we’ll be spending the day together, little one,” I murmur, stroking the soft feathers at the top of her head.
I text Jessica to bring my laptop in so I can work on some notes while I wait for Arthur to arrive, and awkwardly type with one hand while I hold the bird. But in exactly thirteen minutes from his text, my phone buzzes.
Arthur
I’m here.
Excitement rises, but then I look down at the bird in my hand.
Well, I didn’t think this through.
I text Jessica again, and she comes back into the room with a smirk. “For someone who wanted to do this on your own, you sure are needy.”
I huff out a laugh. “Just for a minute. She’s almost awake anyway.” I carefully pass the bird to her, making sure she’s settled in her hands before heading to the door .
When I step into the main lobby of the centre, I spot Arthur with his hood up, standing stiffly with his head down and his hands in his hoodie pocket.
“Hey,” I call with a smile as I walk towards him.
But he keeps his head down and doesn’t respond.
“Arthur?” I stop just in front of him, tilting my head to catch his gaze. When he finally looks up, there’s a flicker of surprise in his eyes as he reaches up to pull off his hood and lower his headphones around his neck.
“Sorry,” he murmurs quietly as his hands hover over the headphones and his eyes dart around the space. “I… It’s loud here…”
My eyes roam over him, and I take in his usual tousled red hair, which is even more unruly from his hood and headphones, and his glasses. He must not have been out shooting this morning, which is unlike him. He looks tense, with his fingers constantly fidgeting, and he still hasn’t looked in my direction.
“Hey,” I say again softly, holding out my hand between us.
His eyes immediately lock onto it, lingering for a moment before he cautiously reaches out to take it.
“What do you need?” I ask, keeping my voice gentle, and watching his face carefully.
His brow furrows as he just stares at our hands, and I wait. But he doesn’t say anything.
And I’m not sure what to do right now.
I squeeze his hand, but the tension in him only seems to grow with each passing second.
“Do you know what you need?” I ask quietly.
He looks stuck, like he’s teetering right on the edge of something. And I don’t know if I should be asking more questions or just be silent.
Arthur shakes his head ever so slightly, and my heart aches for him. I want to help, but I’m not sure how.
“Ok,” I murmur, stepping closer to him. The closing of doors echoes through the hallway, followed by laughter from one of the nearby offices. Footsteps are quickly approaching us as someone moves towards the front door, their voice rising as they chat on their cellphone.
Arthur’s grip tightens around my hand, so hard it’s almost painful.
Fuck. What do I do?
“The bird is in a quiet room, and no one else is in there,” I say. Except fuck that’s not true. Jessica is in there… “Well, there is a vet tech with her right now, but she’ll leave once we get in there…”
Arthur’s eyes snap up, locking onto the man walking towards the front door as his footsteps grow louder and his voice booms in the space around us. I don’t even know if he heard me.
My heart thumps as I watch him, and I feel like I’m standing next to a ticking bomb, just waiting for it to explode.
And then, it does.
He yanks his hand from mine and turns around, shoves the door open, and leaves.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
I sprint after him, but panic rises as I also think of the bird. She’s in a critical recovery phase, and I need to be there to monitor her. I quickly reach into my pocket to check my phone, making sure Jessica isn’t trying to reach me. Thankfully, there’s nothing there.
Arthur slows when he gets outside, and he firmly pulls his headphones over his ears. His head dips low as he begins humming deep in his chest while slowly pacing back and forth, like he’s trying to block everything out.
And I freeze as I watch him, feeling completely useless.
Shit. I’m blowing this.
“Arthur…” I take a tentative step forward, but he doesn’t respond. His eyes are squeezed shut, his hands gripping his headphones like they’re his only lifeline.
“Yo, Trev!”
Fuck . Now is not the time.
Mike walks towards us with a big smile. “Just got back from the field, and woo-boy, did you miss a doozy of a?—”
I frantically wave my hand at him, silencing him mid-sentence, then gesture for him to go inside.
His brow furrows as his gaze slides to Arthur. His smile then vanishes, replaced by a wide-eyed look of understanding. He nods quickly and heads inside, glancing back at us one last time before disappearing through the doors.
As I bring my focus back to Arthur, he stops pacing and humming. But he still doesn’t even seem to notice me, as his eyes stay glued to the ground and his chest heaves with fast, shallow breaths.
“Hey, Arthur,” I say softly, stepping closer.
His eyes flick up to meet mine for the briefest moment, but then they drop again.
A lump forms in my throat, and I don't know what to say to make this better for him. But… I don’t think we need words right now.
I close the distance between us and reach out to him, hoping I’m doing the right thing. I wrap my arms around him and pull him tightly against me, careful not to move too fast. His body is completely stiff, unlike anything I’ve felt in him before. And I wish more than anything I could just take it all away.
His body is rigid against mine, but I don’t let go. I hold him close, tightening my grip as the tension slowly begins to bleed out of him, and his breaths start to even out. I just hold him as the soft breeze ruffles his hair and the sun shines down on us, until eventually, I feel it. His shoulders drop, and he eases into my embrace.
“I got you, Firefox,” I whisper, pressing a soft kiss to the side of his head.
Slowly, his arms lift to wrap around me, and I release a breath of my own.
After a few more moments, I gently release him, my hands sliding down to his arms as I pull back to get a better look at him. He still doesn’t meet my eyes, and that’s ok. But there’s a bit more softness in his stance now that wasn’t there when he first arrived.
I just hope this doesn’t undo everything.
“I need to go back in,” I say gently.
Arthur chews his lip as his eyes stay focused somewhere over my shoulder.
“It’s ok if you don’t want to come in,” I say slowly. But I can’t leave him out here like this. So I need to try my best to get him to come with me. “But if you do, you can hold my hand the whole way, and no one will talk to us. We’ll go straight to the recovery room where it’s quiet, and the lights are low. The tech is in with the bird now, but she’ll leave as soon as we get there. I’ll dim all the monitors, and it’ll be just me and you. You can stay as long as you like.”
His eyes stay distant as I wait for his answer, and I start to wonder if he heard me. But then, his gaze flicks towards mine, and he stiffly nods.
I smile, giving his arms a squeeze. “Ok.” Sliding my hand down his forearm, I take his hand in mine. “Ready?”
Without a word, he reaches up with his free hand, tugging his hood over his headphones again, and lowering his head as he takes a small step forward in a silent answer.
I hold his hand firmly as we walk through the front door of the centre and into the clinic’s main lobby. His grip tightens the further we go, and his anxiety heightens my own awareness of how loud it is in here. Beeping machines, conversations, phones ringing… all of it usually just a dull buzz I ignore. But now that I’m noticing it… it’s a lot. I pick up the pace, leading him straight to the recovery room, and quietly push the door open.
“Hey.” Jessica looks up as we enter. “She’s starting to wake up. She should be standing soon.”
“That’s great,” I reply in almost a whisper.
Jessica glances between me and Arthur, her brow raising slightly.
“I’ll take her now,” I say, motioning with my chin and extending my free hand.
She nods, carefully placing the bird into my hand, and steps back.
“That’s all, thanks,” I murmur with a small smile.
Her eyes dart between me and Arthur again, but she just smiles softly before quietly leaving the room.
“Have a seat,” I say, gently guiding Arthur to one of the stools.
He hesitates before letting go of my hand and moves stiffly to one of the stools, his eyes locked on the bird the whole way.
“She needs to be held until she’s strong enough to stand on her own,” I explain, sitting beside him. “Once she’s steady, she’ll move to that recovery kennel.” I nod towards the kennel with enclosed sides. “If she’s doing well later, she’ll come home with me tonight.”
He doesn’t respond as he just watches the bird, and his fingers twist nervously in his lap.
Unsure if he wants me to talk or be silent, I shift my focus for a bit and check her heart rate and temperature again. Arthur keeps his hood up and headphones on as he watches my every move, and I document her vitals.
But then he reaches up and pulls his hood down, and slides his headphones off to rest them around his neck. His gaze briefly meets mine before it drops to my lips.
“Thank you,” he whispers, so soft I almost miss it in the quiet room.
I nod with a soft smile. “Anytime, Firefox.”
His eyes drop to his hands in his lap and he sniffs, shifting his weight in his seat. It looks like he wants to say something… and I think I know what it is. But I don’t want to hear it. Because there is nothing he should feel embarrassed or ashamed of.
Before I can say anything, the bird chirps softly in my hand and shifts her weight. I look down and see her rolling herself upright so she can stand. I gently lower her onto the table and let her find her balance.
“And there we go,” I say as relief washes over me. I don’t even know what I would have done if something went wrong with Arthur here.
But she made it.
Arthur sits up straighter, watching as the bird pecks at the towel. I watch him for a moment and see a slight twitch at the corner of his lips.
“Will you come over tonight?” I ask softly.
He looks at me, his green eyes meeting mine with a clarity I wasn’t sure I’d see today.
“I have something to show you.”