Chapter Sixteen
Things went on as normal between Julian and Elaina over the next week. Or rather better than normal, if normal had been her constant wariness of him. Now he thought them friends.
For whatever reason, his episode seemed to create a bond between them. He’d been vulnerable and she, in turn, made herself vulnerable as well. Sharing the very personal story of the night her parents had died.
And now they were joking and laughing as if they were old friends. And unlike the other times he’d thought he’d won her over, there was no regression as there had been before. Where it seemed she’d let her guard down with him only to regret it later and put the wall back up between them.
He enjoyed their banter and the way she laughed freely at all of his jokes. Or if not all his jokes, then at least his better ones.
He still wondered why she’d disliked him at first, but he was happy enough to have her as a friend that he didn’t mention it. She no longer found him unacceptable and that was all that mattered.
He was also grateful that she never once brought up his episode. Which meant he was left with no alternative but to believe that it hadn’t been as serious as he’d initially thought. Just as Ben had predicted.
“It’s almost as if seeing my weakness made me more likeable to her. But it makes no sense. She is so unlike the women I’m accustomed to. They would have been whispering behind my back to one another before I’d had the opportunity to catch my breath.”
“Of course, Miss Bantham is not like the ladies of the ton. She is lovely. Anyone can see it,” Ben said.
“Are you considering her for yourself?” Julian asked the older man who scoffed.
“Of course not. I have my hands full seeing to you. She is much too active for a man of my age.”
Julian rolled his eyes. Ben was all of fifty and in fine health. If the housekeeper’s smiles were anything to go on, Ben had his hands full with other things as well.
He might have inquired if he thought Ben would ever admit to anything.
“Besides, I was considering her for you,” Ben said as he brushed the shoulders of Julian’s dinner jacket.
“Me?” Julian chuckled. “I will say, I’ve managed to shift her hatred to something more like comradery or dare I say friendship, but to think she would consider me for more than that…” Julian thought of the tempting freckle that hovered just above the curve of her upper lip. The way it moved when she smiled. The sparkle of gold in her brown eyes that took them from warm to sizzling when she laughed. The way she filled out a pair of breeches.
Julian cleared his throat and the inappropriate thoughts away. It didn’t matter if he found the woman intriguing, or even pleased that she no longer despised him as she had initially. She wouldn’t pass his father’s strict criteria.
Julian felt the smile on his face fade away.
“It doesn’t matter who I might want, does it, Ben? My father has tied things up quite thoroughly. I must find a proper wife.”
Ben frowned and let out a sigh.
“Yes. I don’t imagine Miss Bantham is what the late earl had in mind when he thought of the next Countess of Melville.”
“Could you imagine what he would say about her? Breeches? Digging in the dirt.” Julian smiled at the thought. “I don’t know if there would be a name for the color of his face.”
The usually stoic Ben even laughed at that.
“All the things that make her unsuitable to be countess, make her more charming, do they not?”
“Indeed, they do,” Ben agreed. Julian noted the shadow of sadness on both their faces in the mirror’s reflection.
Julian felt the loss of a life he would never have with a wife of his choosing. A woman that brought him joy, not because she was the best countess, but because she was his friend and partner.
In that moment, he realized the disappointment of not being allowed something he hadn’t known he’d wanted, and the pain of wanting it deeply.
Julian had never hated his father more than he did at that moment.
*
Having chosen toforgive Julian Huntly for the actions of his past, created a new problem for Lainey. Without her constant disapproval to grasp hold of, it was much too easy to notice how beautiful he was. How funny. How intelligent, and yes… eventually she even conceded to admitting the man was charming.
Before long she found herself slipping into daydreams of what it might be like if he decided to kiss her, or even more.
She was the granddaughter of a duke, and the daughter of a vicar. But she was also adventurous and curious about the relations between men and women in the bedroom. Propriety was often sacrificed for desire.
For the first time she contemplated such a sacrifice for herself and found it wouldn’t feel like a sacrifice at all.
Who would care if she took a lover? She needn’t even worry about a possible scandal. At her age, no one cared what she did. If she needed more proof of that, she need only look at their current living arrangements.
She was living alone with an unmarried man she wasn’t related to.
Yet neither her aunt nor uncle even considered she might do something untoward with the man. Despite him being a known rake. It was as if she was excluded from such consideration because she was a spinster.
Their letters encouraged her to be polite to the earl. They didn’t once mention the problem with the Leightons leaving them alone once more.
And while the Leightons’ daughter-in-law was much improved, according to Mrs. Leighton’s letter, it was clear they would not be returning before this expedition was over.
And what did it matter anyway?
Surely Lord Melville wouldn’t spare a thought to seducing the likes of her. He was pleasant and laughed with her, but clearly the attraction she felt was one-sided.
Letting out a stiff sigh, she had worked herself up to irritation once more.
She knew she had no right to aim her displeasure in Julian’s direction, but the fact that he was known to seduce more than a smile from any eligible female in England yet hadn’t attempted anything with her spoke to his disinterest, while she was…
Well… interested.
Damn.
“Are you well? You look quite put out,” Julian said as he entered the room for dinner.
“I’m fine.” The words fairly snapped from her lips.
“But angry if your terse reply is any indication.”
“You think you know me well enough to know whether or not my reply is terse or if I look put out?”
He came closer and ducked his head so as to look her in the eye. Not that he had to stoop very low to do so. He smiled, showing off the dimple that intrigued her.
“I think I have come to know you quite well since we left London. We spend most of our time in each other’s company, so it goes that we would have learned things.”
She tilted her head to the side curiously.
“And have you only noticed when I am being unpleasant?”
He laughed and shook his head.
“No. Though when we first set off, you gave me plenty to study in that regard.”
She tried to hide a smile and failed.
“I know you don’t want to encourage me or give me the gratification of knowing you find me charming even when you do and that is why you press your lips together to hide your mirth.”
“To no success.”
“Obviously. I’m likely the most charming gentleman you’ve ever met. You don’t stand a chance against my powers.”
“Is that so?”
“Aye, it is. But not to worry—and I know you are unhappy with me for pointing that out because your copper-gold brows have pulled together—for I fell victim to your powers before we were even outside of the city.”
“My powers?” She had no powers over this man. Or any man. If she did, she would have used them on her uncle to get out of this situation entirely.
“You disliked me, and that is my weakness. Most people like me. I see to it, work to make it so. But you…” He shook his head. “You see through my act. Right to the heart of me. It’s rather frightening, but also exciting. And it just makes me want to try harder rather than give up.”
“But I have told you I no longer dislike you. Shouldn’t you stop trying to impress me now? The challenge has been met. You have won.”
She didn’t look away from his intense gaze. He was right, they had come to know each other quite well. If she glanced away, even so much as to focus on his nose, he might know she hoped he wouldn’t give up quite yet.
He winked at her in that way that sent a tingle down to her toes.
“I don’t think I shall ever grow weary of winning your smiles, Elaina.”
Dear God, he’d used her given name. She hadn’t given him permission, but there was no way she could pretend not to like it. Not when he was sure to notice the shiver of pleasure that came over her at his words.
She was completely affected by him.
This was a dangerous game they played. One she was going to lose.
*
After another uneventfulday in the trenches, Julian turned over the mules to the stable boy and walked with Elaina to the house.
“So that is it,” he said.
“Yes. Are you disappointed with our results? Just the one pitcher and a few rusty tools.”
He shook his head. “Not at all. It isn’t really about what we find, but the excitement of what might have been found.”
“True.”
They climbed the stairs and paused in the hall by the doors to their room.
“Will I see you for dinner?”
“Yes. I’ll be down after my valet spiffs me to a shine.” He stopped before going into his room and called back to her. “Will you have treats down your dress tonight? I only ask in case I’m feeling peckish before the meal is served.”
“You are on your own. I’m afraid lady’s gowns and corsets leave little room for anything but a few crumbs.”
“I will be sure to keep enough for both of us. You can count on me, Miss Bantham.”
He gave a jaunty salute before shutting himself in his room.
Ben assisted with getting his bath ready and helping him dress appropriately for dinner with the same person he’d spent the day with.
Julian had regularly enjoyed the social scene in London. He was often found at whatever ball or musicale was popular that evening. Anything to avoid staying at home alone.
He would have thought he would have missed having somewhere exciting to go and would be chomping at the bit to leave Dalkeith Castle for a change of scenery.
However, he found himself eager to spend the evening in. It seemed he had grown quite fond of the scenery at home and was in no hurry to leave.
Not that it mattered.
Tomorrow morning, they would leave for the return trip to London. How the months had flown by.
Time in general was passing much too quickly. Before long he would be facing another birthday, and with it the addition of a wife. But not the one he wanted.
“What is amiss? I thought you would be eager to go home to Lord Stormont and Lord Penbrook,” Ben said as he helped him into his dinner jacket.
“I was just thinking the same thing and wondering why I am less than excited. While I have missed Kit and Graham, I still find I would much rather stay here. What do you think that is about?”
“I believe it is more about who you would be staying here with than simply staying at Dalkeith.”
“I’m sure I don’t want to try to argue even though it feels as though I should.”
He had no defense to use against his valet. The man was right. He was running out of time with Elaina.
He wanted more of her laughter and smiles.
“You’re going to miss her,” Ben said, plucking at Julian’s shoulders.
“I imagine I am. Isn’t it the strangest thing? When we arrived, she could barely stand to look at me, and now we are…” He swallowed when he realized that “friends” wasn’t the word he wished to use.
“Close?” Ben supplied with a raised brow.
“Quite. But there is nothing to say we won’t remain close if she allows me to go to Egypt.”
“You sound as if you still have doubts.” Ben shook his head as if the thought was preposterous.
“She hasn’t come out and said either way. I don’t want to pressure her. She should do what she feels is best.”
But he hoped with all his heart she would invite him. Not just so he could visit Egypt and satisfy his need for a final adventure, but because allowing him to go with them was proof of her acceptance. Something he desired more than he should.
And, of course, if she allowed him to join the expedition to Egypt, it also meant months of time spent with her. And he couldn’t get enough of that.
“I’m sure she will do what is fair,” Ben said.
There had been a time when Julian would have argued the woman didn’t have a fair bone in her body, but now he knew her better. And he was certain she would do what was best for everyone.
Including him.