Chapter 15
Fifteen
August
I t had been a week since I’d seen the Barrie Pack, and the guys hadn’t been to group therapy at the VA either. I was finding more and more that I missed them. I was getting attached, and that was bad news for me. Cutting off my professional and personal ties would be best, but even the thought made my Omega whine deep in my chest.
Still, when Max messaged to invite me to dinner and to have the birds and bees talk with Paloma, I answered yes so quickly, I was fairly sure it was an out-of-body experience.
Now, I was fussing over what I was wearing, like it would make any difference. Rio had insisted on picking me up again, and I knew he was just being a normal, worried Alpha. I just had to keep reminding myself he wasn’t my normal, worried Alpha.
As if he was summoned by my thoughts, the buzzer sounded. Walking to the intercom by the door, I checked it was him. “Hello?”
“It’s Rio.”
My heart pattered a little faster at the sound of his voice, but I squashed it down. It would have to get over it. I’d tell him tonight, at the end of this meeting, that I was transferring him to a different support group, and I’d give him more resources for Paloma. Then I’d make a clean break.
Later.
“I’ll be right down.” Grabbing my wallet and stuffing my feet into my sneakers, I tried not to run down the stairs. Instead, I made my way slowly and leisurely, keeping my composure. I needed some professionalism right now.
I stepped out the security door, and Rio was there, eyeing the security cameras with disdain. “These aren’t even pointing in the right place,” he grumbled, and I laughed.
“I’ll let the Super know. Where are you parked?”
He pointed a little down the street, where he’d double parked, his hazard lights blinking. “I didn’t want you to have to walk too far in the dark.”
I raised an eyebrow at the large Alpha. “You do realize I run every day? I also take MMA classes and self-defense refreshers once every month. I’m not helpless.”
Rio flushed. “I understand that, logically.”
Rolling my eyes, I followed beside him to his car. “I know. Alpha instincts and all that. But I promise you, I’m safe and capable.” I kept my voice soft, because shouting at him wouldn’t make the point any more than gentle understanding.
He opened the door for me, and I chastised my preening Omega. He was not for us. They were not for us. But just like it was Rio’s instinct to protect, it was my Omega’s instinct to find the biggest, burliest Alpha who would provide security and keep us safe, and Rio had that in abundance.
When he climbed into the driver’s seat of his SUV and pulled out onto the road, I broke the silence. “How has your week been?”
He shrugged. “A bit of a rollercoaster, if I’m honest. She’s so lost. She oscillates wildly between fascination with everything that’s new, and grief at all the time she lost. Plus, she’s beginning to smell sweeter and sweeter every single day. Her heat isn’t far off, so you coming tonight is going to be a relief, I think. I promised I wouldn’t lie to her, and if she’d asked me straight out, I would have told her, but I worry she’ll be scared of me.”
I nodded. Your first heat was scary, even when you were raised knowing what to expect. For it to come out of the blue, and not understanding the emotion involved, it might sound a little like you’d be losing control of your body and your free will.
Rio’s jaw clenched, and it was obvious it had been playing on his mind. I could smell the stress in his scent.
I resisted the urge to squeeze his hand reassuringly. “And how is she dealing with being bonded?”
A small smile crossed his face like the way the dawn lit the sky—slowly, until you were sitting there, suddenly mesmerized by its beauty. “I can’t explain it. Separately, they are two damaged people, but together, they have such happiness.” He cleared the emotion from his throat. “Watching them together heals something in me too. Llew treats her like she’s the only thing in the world that matters, and she gives him strength and normality. There haven’t been any negative effects of their bonding, but we’ve been playing it safe anyway. One of us is always at home, or we take Paloma out with us. I don’t think Llew would hurt her; actually, I’m positive he wouldn’t. But after I got back… Some things would send him into a frenzy, and I don’t want her to be scared either.”
I mulled over his words. I didn’t think Llew would hurt her either. I’d seen him with her. His Alpha was fully hers now. He really would put himself down first.
But damage like the kind the Barrie Pack had suffered was insidious. It festered below the surface, and sometimes odd things could trigger it to rise. It didn’t help that Llewellyn Barrie had been sequestered away all this time, refusing the help that he needed to feel okay again.
Maybe all he needed was an Omega, but putting a patch over it like that, without working on the deeper issues, could be a recipe for disaster.
We pulled up in front of their large house, where I was surprised to see Paloma on the front porch, waiting for us. Behind her stood Llew, leaning against the doorframe, an amused smile on his face.
When we pulled to a stop, she bounded down the steps. “August!”
My heart did that clenching thing in my chest again, my Omega purring at her greeting. What the fuck?
I climbed out of Rio’s car, and she raced up to me, bouncing on the balls of her feet. I could tell she wanted to hug me, but I kept my hands to myself, no matter how much I wanted to hug her too. She had to make that leap.
“I made dinner with Max. Did you know you can make ice cream at home? I’d never had ice cream until this week, and I think it might be the best thing I’ve ever had. And chocolate. Why did they not have chocolate at the Homestead?”
I wanted to frown at that, but I didn’t want to dampen her enthusiasm. Finally, she leaned toward me and gripped my arms, pulling me closer. How few hugs had she had in her life that she felt so awkward making this connection?
I reached around her back and squeezed her tightly. “I love ice cream. Is that what you made for dessert?”
She was nodding and smiling. Fuck, she was beautiful. Achingly beautiful. “With chocolate chips and chocolate sauce.”
“Best of all worlds, then.”
She dragged me up the front steps, and I smiled at Llew as I walked past. He nodded respectfully. “Evening, Omega.”
I nodded back. “Alpha.” But that was all the conversation I could get in before I was in the kitchen with Paloma, staring at the ice-cream maker churning away.
She wasn’t talking, just sharing her wonder, and in that moment, I wanted everything for the Omega in front of me. Happiness. Security. Good Alphas, and a great Pack. It solidified my need to pull away after tonight, because this Pack was the best of them—exactly what she needed. It didn’t matter that I wanted them too.
Her need trumped my want.
Max appeared, smiling fondly at us both. “Hey, August. I see you’ve been introduced to the ice-cream machine.”
I grinned back at him. So fucking handsome. When he wrapped an arm casually around Paloma’s waist, they were so attractive together, it stole my breath. What would it be like to be between both of them during my heat?
The thought pulled me up short. Not only were those thoughts completely inappropriate, but it was a slippery slope. My own heat was merely a month away, and if I fixated too much on this Pack, I was bound for disappointment, which was never fun during a heat.
“Paloma was just telling me about her flavorings. I have to admit, I’m excited for her creation.”
Max looked down at her fondly, and jealousy reared its head again. “Come on through to the living room. I’ll grab you both a drink.” He led us both into the living room, where Rio and Llew were already on the couches. Paloma bounced over to sit on the giant Alpha’s lap, and Llew immediately wrapped her up in his arms, pure bliss on his face.
I could see what Rio was talking about now. Llew’s Alpha dominance felt immense now that he wasn’t trying to suppress it, but it wasn’t a chaotic sensation anymore. No, it pulsed with happiness, and I knew it came from his bond to the woman in his lap.
I listened to Paloma chatting about her week, about the public library that she’d signed up for, and her cheeks went pink. “I couldn’t sign up under my own name, because I don’t have any identification. Or a last name.”
“You’re a Barrie now. That’s your last name forever, or as long as you want it,” Llew said, nuzzling her cheek.
I nodded. “Yes, once you bond to a Pack, it’s traditional to change your last name to theirs. If that’s what you want. Nothing is set in stone. You can change your first name too. Everything is your choice now.”
She blinked at me. “I wouldn’t have to be Paloma anymore?” She stared at me with open-mouthed shock.
“Not unless you wanted to be,” I informed her gently. “Would you like to change it?”
She chewed her lip. “My friend at the Homestead, Nimah, used to call me Polly. I called her Nim. We weren’t meant to shorten our god-given names, but it felt like a secret between the two of us. I think I’d like to be Polly now.”
I saw Rio stiffen beside me, but I patted his leg gently. He couldn’t react negatively to these little tidbits; otherwise, she’d stop dropping them completely just to keep the peace. We needed the information she had stored away in her brain to stop these people for good, information she might not even know she had.
I smiled softly. “Polly is a beautiful name. Bright and happy. It suits you.” She gave me a half-hearted grin. “Was Nim an Omega too?”
Paloma—I mean, Polly—shook her head. “No, I was the only Omega after the last one died, maybe three years ago? It’s hard to know. Nim’s a Beta. She is the sweetest person. The only one there who showed me love, despite me being marked by Melize. We were raised in the same house.”
“Could you be sisters?” Max asked, and she shook her head.
“No, she had beautiful golden skin and almond-shaped eyes. Her mother was definitely Sister Alita, because she was the only one there who looked like Nim, but we weren’t allowed to say so. We were all children of the house. Sister Alita didn’t show any favoritism toward Nim.”
I resisted the urge to grind my back teeth as her scent soured. When she turned her face into Llew’s chest, he stroked her back gently. “We’ll rescue your sister, Polly. We’ll bring her home here and open up the world to her, so she can be the decider of her own fate. Just like you.”
Well, I guess if we were having hard conversations, it might be good to get them all out of the way in one go. “There’s actually something else the guys invited me over to talk to you about.”
She frowned at me, biting her lower lip. “You didn’t just come to visit me? Visit us?”
Her hurt wafted toward me on her scent, and my Omega whined. “That too. I didn’t want to overstep while you were settling in. Some Omegas can find that uncomfortable, especially at this time.”
She looked between us all. “What time?”
“When you’re close to going into heat. Now that you’re off your suppressants, I think you’ll have your first heat within the next ten days.”