32. Chapter Thirty-Two
Chapter Thirty-Two
Jax
I don’t even know how the hell I made it here in one piece.
The entire drive is a blur from the moment I got in the car, to me racing through the car park—it all just blends together. I was only focused on one thing: getting here as fast as I could.
My car door slams shut behind me, and I immediately break into a sprint, my footsteps sloshing through puddles while the rain lashes my face like a whip.
As soon as I reach the emergency room doors, they slide open and I barrel inside, slipping across the floor from my rain-slicked boots. I quickly scan the room until I find Ana, curled up in a chair in the corner with her knees pulled to her chest.
I run my hands down my face, trying to steady myself before heading over there. My world might feel like it’s fucking shattering into a million pieces, but this can’t be easy on her either.
Dragging my feet along the slippery tiled floor, I walk slowly over to her, my heart screaming in my chest every step of the way.
When I finally reach her, my hands grasp the arms of the chair beside her, and I let myself sink into it, feeling the adrenaline starting to crash down. Hard.
I gently place my hand on her back, and she looks up, meeting my eyes with a look of hope that quickly dies.
“Hey,” I say softly. “Any word yet?”
She shakes her head slowly, the light above us highlighting the thick lines of tears down her cheeks.
“They rushed her into surgery,” she says with a quivering voice. Then she wipes her face with the back of her hand.
Surgery?
“W–what surgery? Did they at least say if she was going to be okay?” I ask, panic rising in my throat.
She shrugs, letting out a low, bitter laugh. “They wouldn’t tell me anything because I’m not family .” She uses air quotes around the word family , the sting of it clear in her tone. If anyone here is considered family, it’s Ana.
Her eyes tighten at the corners while she fights to keep herself together. Then she quickly jabs a finger into her own chest. “ I only know because I fucking watched them wheel her by on my way in.”
“Ana, I’m so sorry,” I say softly and pull her into me.
I let her cry into my shoulder and pat the back of her head, trying to soothe her.
We sit like this for a few minutes.
Sitting.
Waiting.
Praying to whatever god might be listening that she’s okay. That somehow, she’s going to pull through this.
Then it hits me that she wasn’t alone in the crash.
Ana lifts her head from my shoulder, sniffling while she frantically wipes her eyes dry.
My eyes stay locked on her while I carefully mull over my words since I’m not exactly sure how she feels about Nora right now.
I clear my throat. “Where’s Nora? Is she okay?”
She scoffs, shaking her head.
Okay, then. Noted—Nora’s a no-go topic right now.
But then she turns to me and wipes under her eyes. “She’s perfectly fine,” she says. “She’s in a sling.”
I blow out a breath, unsure what to say that won’t just make everything worse.
“Yeah, that’s—”
“The funny thing about all of this?” she cuts in. “ She’s pregnant. After accusing Allie of being pregnant and screaming at her, it turns out she actually was this whole time.”
I shake my head, trying to process too much shit at once.
Allie’s in surgery. Nora’s pregnant. What the hell is happening?
“Has anyone checked on her?” I ask cautiously.
She nods. “Yeah, she just went for a walk. She’s fine, Jax.”
I sink back into the chair, melting into it while my fingers absentmindedly skim over the rips and tears in the material.
Then an idea hits me, and my head snaps toward Ana.
“You said they wouldn’t tell you anything because you’re not family, right?" I ask quickly, the words spewing out before I can even think about it.
She scoffs, tossing her feet up onto the coffee table cluttered with magazines.
“Yup. Said we’d have to sit out here and wait until she’s allowed visitors.”
I spring out of the chair, my body moving on pure instinct, while I head straight for registration.
When I reach the desk, a young woman with short, blonde hair sits behind it, clacking away on her keyboard. Her eyes lift slowly to meet mine.
“Hi there! How can I help you?” she asks cheerily.
Cheerily. In an emergency room. At least someone’s happy to be here.
My hand grips the back of my neck, and I squeeze like that’s going to help.
“Hi, I’m looking for an update on Allison Windsor,” I say quickly, trying not to sound as nervous as I feel.
She raises an eyebrow. “I’m sorry, that information is only for—”
“I’m her husband,” I blurt, dropping my hand to my side.
Her eyes widen. “Oh! I’m so sorry, Mr. Windsor. Can you give me her date of birth so I can look her up?”
“March 22, 1983,” I answer automatically.
Thank God for our late-night talks.
Her fingers fly across the keyboard, the sound clattering around in my skull with every key she jams. The sound ramps up the anxiety crawling under my skin unbearably.
“Mr. Windsor, it looks like your wife is currently in surgery. They shouldn’t be too much longer, but I’ll make sure the doctor comes to find you right away,” she says sympathetically.
My eyebrow arches. “She’s okay though, right?”
She nods. “It looks like she’s stable on my end, but the doctor will know more. I’m sorry I can’t tell you more.”
I give her a tight-lipped smile. “Okay, thank you.”
Reluctantly, I peel myself away from the desk and drag myself back to the chair beside Ana.
As soon as I sink into it, she leans in.
“What did they say?” she asks quietly, like it’s a secret.
I shake my head and shrug. “Basically, that she’s stable, and they’ll come and get me when she’s out.”
“It’s already been a while. Maybe it won’t be too much longer?” Nora’s voice cuts through, and when I turn around, she’s sitting beside me.
“Jesus, Nora. Are you okay?” I ask, my eyes scanning her for damage.
She has a sling just like Ana said, and a small cut above her eyebrow, but otherwise, you’d never guess she’d just been in a crash.
She shrugs, her eyes falling to the floor. “I’m okay. I just want to know if Allie’s okay.”
Then her eyes lift to mine, and I see it—the hurt glazing over them.
“There was so much blood, Jax,” she whispers.
I pinch my eyes closed, willing the images to stop invading my brain the way they are. My hand finds her back, and I rub it gently.
“She’s going to be fine,” I whisper back, wishing it into existence.
“She better be fucking fine,” Ana says behind me.
“The best thing we can do for her right now is just sit and wait,” I say to them both.
And pray—
To whatever god might be listening, but I can’t think of a god that would let this happen.
To a mother. A nurse. Another person I love.
She has to be fine.
“Mr. Windsor?”
A deep voice cuts through the silence, startling me out of a sleep I didn’t even realize I’d fallen into.
I’m apparently not the only one though. Ana is slumped sideways, her head resting on the armrest, and Nora’s curled forward, her face buried in her hands.
I scramble to my feet, still feeling groggy, so I stumble slightly.
“Th-that’s me,” I say frantically. “Is… is Allie okay?”
He gives me a kind smile, nodding slowly. “Yes, she’s going to be okay,” he says, then gestures for me to follow him.
I glance over my shoulder at the girls when Ana waves her hand, silently telling me to go ahead. Turning around, I follow behind him while he guides me down a narrow hallway where the smell of bleach and hand sanitizer hits me like a punch to the gut.
He stops in front of a door and opens it slowly, holding it for me. My heart leaps into my throat when I walk in and realize it’s just an empty room and Allie isn’t here.
I quickly turn around just in time to watch him close the door gently behind him. Before I can start asking the million and one questions bouncing around in my head, he holds a hand up.
“Allie’s fine,” he reassures me, his voice steady. “It was touch and go for a little while, but she’s fine. She’s in recovery now.”
A weight lifts off my shoulders knowing she’s okay—that’s all that mattered this whole time. I could sit in that waiting room for hours, as long as I knew she just needed to rest, but why did we need to come into an empty room for that?
My eyebrows pull together. “If she’s fine, and she’s in recovery…” I gesture around the empty room. “Why did we need to come in here?”
His face softens, and he sets his clipboard down, then leans his back against the counter.
“I brought you in here because I also need to inform you about something else,” he begins, his voice sympathetic. “I’m sorry, Mr. Windsor, but with the abdominal trauma, it’s likely that you and Allie might never naturally conceive a child.”
My words are caught in my throat. Not exactly sure what to say to that, but he thinks I’m her husband. The only thought bouncing around my head right now is how Allie is going to feel about this.
He slowly walks toward me and places a calm hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry I don’t have better news,” he says softly. “Allie should be awake in a few hours. I’ll find you when she’s ready.” Then, he slips out the door, leaving the silence to suffocate me.
I close my eyes, drawing in the deepest breath I can. Then I press my palms into my eyes, squeezing so hard that everything goes black.
How the hell is she going to handle this?
We never talked about children, but given the time we’ve spent together and how she talks about her girls, I just assumed she wanted more. My feelings here don’t matter, I’m in it for the long haul either way, but Allie?
Her entire world might flip from this.
And I’ll be right there to pick up every single piece of her soul that chips off.