13. Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Thirteen
June
W hy did you say that? I whisper the question to myself as I hide in the back of the grocery store while Jonah talks to the owner. Herman is at work, stocking jars of peanut butter near the checkout, and I thought it would be best to keep my distance. He didnt notice us walk in, thankfully, but Im not about to blow our covers by giving him another chance to get a good look at me.
Ive already made things awkward and tense with Jonah by telling him we dont have a future, so I dont want to mess anything else up.
I had hoped Id fixed my slip up after correcting him about Los Angeles not being my home, but when Jonah started talking bad about Hank, I panicked. His reaction reminded me of my ex, whose abusive behavior began against my friends and family before it was ever directed at me.
I shiver and rub my arms, wishing I had a better place to hide than the freezer section. I really dont want to compare Jonah to my ex, but his actions earlier didnt make it easy to do otherwise. And then I went and shot down any potential we may have. I could try to fix that, but I dont know how. Or if I even should.
I would give you my sweater, a soft voice says behind me, but the costume department had a hard enough time hiding my excellent physique as it was. Before I can turn to face him, Jonah wraps his arms around me from behind, instantly warming me. Is this okay?
Another shiver runs through me, less from the cold than from the overwhelming feeling of safety I get from being back in his arms. I shouldnt feel safe after an argument like that. I should be on edge, and I am, but with Jonahs arms around me like this, all I can focus on is his sincerity and protectiveness. Last night, he stood between me and whoever was stalking my house, and I have to remember that side of him.
I lean deeper into his hold and nod. Thank you.
We stand in silence for a moment while my anxious thoughts war with the peace settling in my heart. I thought Id gotten through all the garbage left behind by my last relationship, and it terrifies me how quickly I got scared. What else is Jonah going to do to remind me of my ex?
No. Hes not like that. I need to think about something else. Are you done talking to Maya already?
Jonah sighs. No. Someone from catering came in, and I thought it would be a good idea to keep my distance. He tucks his chin over my shoulder, our cheeks nearly touching. I both love and hate his nearness. Hopefully Maya will be so annoyed that shell vent to us when its our turn.
Your turn. I wince, reminded of our conversation on the bench outside. I just mean because Im avoiding Herman. Not because I dont want to be with you when you talk to Maya. His words from the alley repeat in my mind, and I turn in his arms so Im facing him. Did you mean what you said?
He wrinkles his nose and glances around, like he wants to run from my question. Youll have to be more specific, but probably. Im hoping youre talking about one of the good things I said and not my admission that Im jealous of a guy who gets groceries from you. He pauses, suddenly looking nervous. II want more than groceries.
That. I swallow the nerves that bubble up inside me, focusing on the way he holds me so gently. Its like hes scared to hold me any tighter, something my ex never even considered. It helps me relax a bit more. Do you really want to date me?
Jonahs eyes jump to something behind me, and then he shuffles us toward the back corner, as far from the front door as we can get. When he speaks, his words are full of hesitation. Its a strange thing, coming from him, but its endearing. This isnt the best place for this conversation, but yes. I do want that.
My nerves double, but I think theres excitement in there too. Hiding beneath the anxiety. I havent been on a date since leaving my ex, and I certainly havent thought about committing to anyone. Not until Jonah. But I cant go through another argument like that one outside. Hank is my best friend.
He groans, dropping his head. I know.
Thats not going to change.
I dont expect it to. He looks up again, his expression sorrowful. I was an idiot out there.
You were.
But I also meant it when I said we could be something. If you want to be.
Right now, I dont know if I want that. But I want to want that. Up until twenty minutes ago, I didnt see any downsides to spending time with this man, and I hate how quickly I distrusted him. Even if we barely know each other?
Jonah smiles, accentuating the makeup that has transformed his face. Thats what dating is for, isnt it? Im not saying I want forever.
My stomach does a somersault.
Whatever expression is on my facedisappointment, maybe?it shifts Jonahs smile into a smirk, and he shifts closer, emboldened by my reaction. Im also not saying forever is off the table, just so were clear. But I cant promise you anything, especially when my career is kind of riding on this Frost movie doing well.
Another somersault. Wait, it is? But youre one of the better actors out there!
Flinching, Jonah glances over my head again, but there must be no one close by because he relaxes, adjusting his hands so they rest clasped together at my lower back. First of all, he says, his voice low, I am a phenomenal actor, and you know it.
I scoff, but Im so glad for this shift in tone. It feels like were back to normal, even though were not. Not until I can explain my reaction outside. I dont know
You watched Silent Pursuit that night when I ran past your house.
Heat splashes across my face, and I get the sudden urge to hold my head inside the ice cream freezer. He saw that? I didnt watch Okay, fine. I watched it.
And? He lifts his eyebrow, though it doesnt rise as high as it would normally. As I gaze at him, I realize his makeup is cracking, which means we dont have much more time before our disguises fail us.
I sigh. Im not ready to get back to real life and all its drama. Cant I just stay here in Jonahs arms and joke about how hes a terrible actor when in truth hes one of the best Ive seen? And you were really good.
Phenomenal, he repeats.
Pursing my lips, I shake my head at him but cant hold back a smile. Phenomenal, I reluctantly agree.
Thank you. Second of all, acting is not a stable career path unless youre someone like Derek Riley. Right. His career is apparently in danger. I had to start on the bottom like everyone else, and its impossible to know when Ill end up a has-been rather than a confident B-lister hoping to make it big.
His expression might be calm and chill, but theres a hint of anxiety lurking in his voice. Until our argument in the alley, I didnt know anything could ruffle this mans feathers, but maybe hes just as human as I am.
He gets jealous, and worries about his job, and says the wrong things. But he also apologizes and keeps me warm and makes me laugh. I dont want to be constantly on my guard, but I also dont know how to tell him why I panicked before. Ill just keep talking about him and hope all my fears go away.
Frowning, I reach up and gently touch his jaw, careful not to smudge anything. That must be hard, not knowing how long youll get to live your life the way you want.
He nods, lips pressing together. Yeah, and this conversation isnt helping, so Im going to change the subject. He leans into my touch slightly before pulling away and looking at the glass door next to us. Ah, I wondered why you looked so worried when I came over, but now I understand. The dreaded ice cream you dislike so much.
I whack his arm. I never said I didnt like it. And I looked worried because I guess Im telling him now; he told me one of his fears, so its only fair that I tell him about mine. This isnt an easy conversation for me, but if we dont have it, there wont be any point in hanging around Jonah. I was thinking aboutmy ex.
Bobby Fleming?
I snort, grateful for the levity. No. Bobby was delightful, and if you had died in the war, we would have had a wonderful life together. Im talking about the other ex.
The nameless one. Jonah makes a face of disgust. Why were you thinking about him? But something seems to click a second later, and his hold on me slips along with his expression. He looks horrified. Maybe even hurt. Please tell me I didnt remind you of him.
I cant tell him that, so I keep my mouth shut.
He curses softly and takes a step away from me, like that might distance him from my ex. Was it the stuff with Hank?
I nod, deciding he deserves the truth. If he really wants to date me, hes going to have to know my triggers. When I first met The Ex, he was a nice guy, full of praise and compliments. But after a while, he started making negative comments about my friends, my parents, our coworkers. Testing the waters, maybe? So by the time he talked down to me, I barely noticed it.
Without Jonahs arms around me, Im shivering again, but he seems frozen in place, staring at me with wide eyes. June, he mutters, shaking his head. I would never say anything bad about you.
But you were fine talking bad about Hank.
I wasnt fine. He swallows and stuffs his hands into his pockets. I hate that I judged him so quickly, and just because hes your friend and I was jealous. Ive never He ducks his head, looking sheepish. Ive never been jealous before. And my mom would make me muck out the barn for a month if she knew the way I was talking out there.
Is it bad that I believe him? I believed my ex too when he said he loved me more than anything, so Im not sure I can be trusted. But I want to believe Jonah. I want to think my dad and Hank arent the only good men out there in the world.
I want to stop hiding from the world.
I grab my elbow and shrug. Im not saying my reaction was logical, I just
June. Jonah reaches out, taking my hand from my arm and squeezing my fingers. Youre allowed to be wary. Im the one in the wrong here. Im so sorry I made you feel that way when I couldnt handle my own issues.
Letting out a huff of a laugh, I shake my head as I look up into those light brown eyes of his. He really is a good man, and I should apologize for comparing him to my ex. But the words stick in my throat, and the only thing I can do is joke. A celebrity who takes accountability for his actions? Who knew?
That gets a soft smile out of him, and he pulls me back into his embrace, holding me tighter than before. Were a rare breed, I know. And I never want you to be afraid of me, June. Ive been alone for a long time, so Im bound to make mistakes as we go. Please call me out on my crap because Im not smart enough to know when to His words trail off.
I look up. Hes staring over the shelves toward the entrance, eyes fixed on something. What?
The caterer just left. Herman was with her. Now might be our best chance to talk to Maya.
As much as I would rather keep talking to Jonah and figure out this thing between us, hes right. This could be my only chance to help with this conversation. Lets go.
As we shuffle toward the front, keeping our steps uncertain and our arms looped together, I grab a carton of eggs. Jonah gives me a questioning look, but were too close to the checkout now, and Maya has noticed us.
I set the eggs on the conveyor and smile, speaking before Maya can. Are your eggs organic and free range? We only eat free range eggs.
Maya gapes at me for a moment before looking down at the eggs. Oh. Um, maybe? We had to get these from a different supplier this week because they were a rush order.
Oh? I tilt my head. Is there an egg shortage?
Mayas face pales, fear filtering into her expression. No, something She stops herself and forces a smile, glancing between me and Jonah. I guess eggs were extra popular last week. I can contact the supplier and ask about these, if youd like.
That would be great, Jonah says.
Maya moves to the office directly behind the checkout, and Jonah and I share matching looks of irritation. Why will no one talk about the ghost things? I whisper, shaking my head. Its like theyre all terrified.
Biting his tongue, Jonah glances at the front door. Im starting to wonder if people actually think its a ghost.
A shiver runs through me, definitely not from being cold. I dont like that idea.
Me neither, but its not like were any closer to figuring out an alternative.
We need to get her to talk about it. I tap my lips, trying to think of a way to convince Maya she can trust us. We have the old person thing on our side, but if shes genuinely spooked, shell need some persuasion.
But what can we do?
Jonah clears his throat. Will you stop doing that? he asks, his voice a little strangled.
I frown and look up at him, surprised to see a pained look on his face. Doing what?
He grabs my hand, pulling it away from my lips. Youre tempting enough as it is, Mrs. Smith.
Heat washes over me, which is a nice change from the cold dread that engulfed me earlier, and I cant stop myself from smirking at Jonah. Vulnerable conversations are important, and Im glad he knows more about how my ex treated me, but I would so much rather spend most of our time in this lighthearted, flirty space. What? You want to kiss me again or something?
He groans, his eyes growing darker as he gazes at me. Youre playing dirty.
Except, Im not playing. Its hard to believe he would be interested in me when he could have his pick of women, but I want him to be. Maybe hes not Derek Riley, but hes handsome and charming and has a smile that makes me weak in the knees. And he has a good heart, something I cant take for granted. One bad conversation shouldnt be enough to tear down all the green flags hes shown me so far.
Plus, I really do want to kiss him.
Leaning closer, I tuck my fingers into the collar of his sweater and nudge him down. Jonah James, I whisper and close my eyes as he eagerly crosses the rest of the distance between us.
Im so sorry, butoh! Maya squeaks as we pull apart, and she looks like she wants to run away. But shes also fighting a smile. I didnt mean to interrupt.
While I grumble nonsense words, Jonah beams at Maya and wraps his arm around my waist. His happiness has returned in full force. Were on our third honeymoon, my darling wife and I, he explains. Cant keep away from each other. What were you saying, miss?
Mayas eyes jump between us before she lets her smile free. Unfortunately, the supplier wasnt able to confirm whether the eggs came from free-range chickens, but Im going to guess no. Usually they put that kind of thing on the package.
Oh, I suppose we will be fine if we eat these if thats what you have, Jonah says. Im glad hes unaffected and able to talk, because Im still irritated that we got interrupted. Again . Am I ever going to get a real kiss with Jonah? With the nature of his career, it feels unlikely unless I take up acting and star alongside him. Do you know what this reminds me of, Mrs. Smith?
I raise an eyebrow at him. What, Mr. Smith?
That time we visited Alton and they were entirely out of sugar. He turns to Maya, which is good because I have no idea what hes talking about. Did you know its the most haunted place in America?
Mayas eyes go wide. Oh?
Yep. Alton, Illinois. I have a fondness for ghost stories, and everyone in town was certain a ghost had come and stolen all the sugar, when in truth it had just been misplaced by a new employee.
Oh! Now I see what hes doing, and I cant help but grin at him. I told you it wasnt a ghost, I say, whacking his arm lightly. It never is.
Shes an unbeliever, Jonah mock whispers to Maya. Even though we keep hearing all sorts of stories here in your charming town, my Maggie refuses to think a ghost could be behind it all.
Maya chuckles, relaxing a bit as she glances between us. To be honest, Im with you, Maggie, she says, ringing up the eggs and putting them in a paper bag. Most of our eggs went out on a delivery order rather than falling prey to a ghost.
Who needs that many eggs? I ask, hoping shell answer.
Couldnt tell you. It was a made-up name and a fake address.
How do you know the name was fake? Jonah asks.
Maya snickers and shakes her head. Because the person who ordered them was named Brighton Early. And lived on 123 Road Lane.
Laughing, Jonah hands Maya a ten-dollar bill and pulls me tighter against his side. I suppose I should stop believing this town is just as haunted as Alton was. How disappointing.
Wait, I say, stopping him from grabbing the bag from Maya. If the order was fake, where did the eggs go?
Maya shrugs. My employee delivered them and said they made it to the right person. They were paid for, so I didnt ask questions.
Maybe you should have, I mutter under my breath. Out loud, I say, I wonder if it was to that film crew we keep hearing about.
Though annoyance flashes across her face, Maya shrugs. Maybe, but they put in their own order for eggs just a few days before that, so I dont know why they wouldnt do it the normal way. Honestly, theyve given me a lot of business since they got here, and its been kind of nice.
Its the first good thing anyone has had to say about the film crew, and Im not sure what to do with that other than continue on the same trajectory. I would imagine theyve brought a lot of money to the town all around, I say, trying to sound thoughtful and objective.
Maya nods and hands Jonah the bag of eggs. Not many of us like having them here, but the money is nice. Im pretty sure its the only reason any of us tolerate them being here.
I share a quick look with Jonah, who looks as confused as he does thoughtful. I hope they dont cause too many problems for you, I say. From the sound of it, theyre the ones being affected by this so-called ghost the most.
Mayas eyebrows drop low, as if she hadnt considered that. But then her gaze shifts to the door. Im sure youll just be disappointed by what he has to say, but if you want to ask my employee about the egg delivery, here he is now.
I flinch and hide behind Jonah when the automatic door slides open, presumably to let Herman back in.
I think I would rather enjoy the mystery of it all, Jonah says, tucking the bagged eggs under one arm and leading me to the door. Thank you! He keeps himself in between Herman and me, which I appreciate, and its not until we get a block down Main Street that he releases me.
Are you thinking what Im thinking? I ask, though my thoughts have started whirling too fast for me to keep up. The egg delivery, the dangerous accidents, the people running around the production field this afternoon
Jonah chuckles. Doubtful. Youre way smarter than me.
Not true. You were brilliant when you brought up that haunted town! That was amazing.
For the first time since I met him, Jonah looks completely flabbergasted, like hes not used to anyone praising him like that. He clears his throat and turns away for a moment before he returns his gaze to me. Anyway, what are you thinking, my love?
My love . Savoring the warmth that comes from his pet name, I try not to sound too set on my conclusion when I say, Were not dealing with a professional.
A professionalwhat, exactly?
Saboteur.
Are those a real thing? Professional saboteurs?
I whack him on the arm playfully, but my eyes catch on the sheer number of people wandering along Main Street now. School has been out for almost an hour now, and with nothing else to do, the kids tend to hang out in town before going home for dinner. There are too many of them for us to have a conversation without being overheard, and Im starting to suspect
I think we might have to be done with interviews for the day, I murmur, taking hold of his hand and subtly gesturing to a group of teens wandering near us, a few with bikes and skateboards in tow.
Jonah nods and touches a finger to my chin. Your wrinkles are starting to come off anyway.
Thank goodness for that. Im ready to be reasonably pretty again.
He scoffs, his eyes trailing over my face. As if youre not as beautiful now as you were in your younger years.
Mr. Smith, you are incorrigible.
Actually, I can be quite corrigible with the right motivation.
I snort a laugh and tuck my arm through his so we can head back to the production field. I prefer to talk out loud if I want to make sense of my thoughts, and Ill need privacy to do that. You are something else, I murmur, which only makes Jonah laugh. At this point, Ive said that so many times that its getting ridiculous.
The walk to the makeup tent is a slow one, but I tuck my theories in the back of my mind and let myself enjoy the peace of it, focusing on being with Jonah. Today is cool, not quite spring, and Im content to lean into Jonah and soak up his warmth. Dexter is right behind ushe started following after we left the grocery storebut I can almost pretend that were a regular couple out for a walk in the sunshine.
I can almost pretend that a relationship between Jonah and me might work.
Did you learn anything? Dexter asks once we reach Jonahs trailer.
Jonah sighs. Not re
Maybe, I say, stretching my back now that I dont have to worry about looking old. But I need to think about it for a second and make sure Im not grasping at straws.
We can take you back to your house so you can shower and change. Jonah does his own stretching, raising his arms high above his head and subsequently lifting his shirt and sweater with it. I have to try exceptionally hard not to sneak a peek of whats under there, contenting myself with the memory of when he went running past my house. Or, he continues, youre welcome to use my trailer if youre desperate to de-age. I can use Dexters shower.
Dexter frowns. My shower is a tent and shared with like thirty people.
I meet Jonahs gaze, curious about how he will respond to that.
His mouth stretches into an amused smile as he reads my curiosity on my face. Youre forgetting I grew up on a farm, June Harper. I spent my summers roaming the woods with nothing but the clothes on my back and a shotgun to keep the cougars away. I can handle a tent shower.
I cant decide if youre telling the truth, I whisper, a little horrified as I imagine this man getting attacked by a big cat. Though, youd probably make friends with a cougar before ever having to shoot it.
Chuckling, he throws his arms around Dexters shoulders. Or start dating her, he says with a wink that heats me to the core. You know how I have a thing for older women. What do you say, June? Should we take you home, or
I want to stay. I grimace when the words come out sounding desperate. Show some dignity, June. I need someone to bounce my ideas off of after Ive done my ruminating in the shower, and I dont want I stop. I dont want to revert back to the awkwardness of the alley if were apart for too long, but Im afraid to bring it up. Things are good between us right now, and I want it to stay that way.
Besides, theres always the chance that the saboteurs will stalk my house again tonight, and that soundsdisconcerting.
Pulling his arm free, Jonah steps closer to me and takes my hand, holding it to his chest like he did before. He clearly felt my shift in energy, with the way concern adds to the wrinkles on his forehead. Youre also welcome to take my bed tonight, he murmurs, rightly guessing some of my fears. Theres a couch in the trailer I can use, or I can see if Bonnie will let me
You wouldnt mind spending a night on the couch after spending last night on the floor?
Jonahs smile turns warm. I wouldnt mind it in the slightest. Not if it means youll feel safe.
Safe . Everything I didnt have with my ex. Even after the argument in the alley, I still feel safe with Jonah because he was so quick to own up to his mistakes. Sighing with relief, I lean up on my toes and press a kiss to Jonahs cheek. Thank you.
Dex, can you grab Junes stuff from costuming? And maybe tell Richie he can stop pacing wherever he is now that were back. Jonah waits until Dexter leaves to do as directed, and then he turns his full focus to me, eyes burning.
This might be the first time were alone, and it looks like Jonah isnt about to waste the opportunity.
But instead of backing me up against the side of the trailer and claiming my mouth like I want him to, Jonah presses a gentle kiss to my forehead and breathes in deep. I really am sorry about today. You deserve better than what I gave you.
I let out a slow sigh. Im sorry I overreacted again.
You didnt. He kisses my forehead again. The overreacting was all me. Im going to do my best to make sure Jealous Jonah doesnt make an appearance again. Hes awful.
For some reason, that makes me laugh, and my anxiety slips away. Maybe well be okay. Were you really jealous of Hank ? Youre way more attractive than him.
Im not saying it was logical. Hes beaming now, his eyes trailing over my face. Do you really think Im attractive?
I scoff. Youre ridiculous, is what you are.
I just need to be sure its me and not this outfit that does it for you.
I take in his sweater and khakis, shaking my head. I think I prefer regular Jonah, even if you make an adorable old man.
He snorts. Keep talking like that and I may have to dress like this every day. Youre welcome to anything you find in there, he says, nodding toward the trailer behind me. Clothes, snacks, unsigned copies of Hanks books.
Books? My eyebrows fly high. As in more than one?
Chuckling, Jonah drops my hand and opens the trailer door for me. After the first one, I obviously needed to keep reading so I could find out if Gabrielle is going to end up with Captain Stacey.
Right? I say that louder than I mean to, but I dont care. Im just glad Im not the only one shipping the two characters. Hank wont tell me if its going to happen in the next book, and its driving me crazy. And wow, its super attractive to hear a man saying something about romance in a book when he could have easily brought up the many murders in Hanks series. Hearing Jonah praise Hanks writing soothes the lingering pain caused by his jealousy earlier, and Im not sure Ive ever found him more attractive than I do right now. Jonah James, you are
Eager to spend the rest of the day talking to you, June Harper, but Id rather not do it while wearing this sweater. He smirks and holds out his hand to help me up the steps.
Climbing inside, I take in the space that is essentially Jonahs home during filming. I find myself smiling, even if its not an elegant abode. His bed is neatly made in the back, all four of Hanks books are stacked near the sink with a bookmark tucked halfway through the third one, and there are several pictures of Jonahs family taped to the wall.
Its all very cozy.
I wouldnt mind getting stuck in a trailer like this, I say, grinning back at Jonah. Way better than the props trailer.
He narrows his eyes, his expression playful. Lets not joke about things like that, yeah? Although, I dont think I would have minded getting trapped as much if you were stuck there with me. Ill be back in a bit, okay? Seriously, help yourself to whatever.
The instant hes gone, I go straight for the drawers that hold his clothes. Might as well take advantage of his hospitality.