Chapter 19
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Liam
Goddamn motherfucker. I wanted to punch a fucking wall. I couldn’t sit here for another second while everyone talked about this fucking rapist like he wasn’t at the same fucking park as Jenna. The park she goes to every fucking week.
I felt Jenna pull away as her armor came down and her walls came up.
She was still next to me, but she wasn’t there with me anymore.
I saw her shake her head at Juliette and Nicky, denying their concern.
She smiled at whatever the fuck the others were saying.
She was determined to sit through this dinner like everything was normal, while I wanted nothing more than to throw her over my shoulder and lock her in my house until this fucking rapist was behind bars. Or better yet, underground.
Every instinct screamed at me that Jenna was in danger. Even if she wasn’t in actual danger now, she could’ve been earlier, and she was in emotional distress now, which was unacceptable. What if it was that fucker in the park? I wanted to kick my own ass for ignoring him.
Now she was worried about a fucking rapist coming into her library. “I’ll get you all the info I can.” I tried to say it gently, but I could hear the bite in my voice. I relaxed my jaw and softened my tone. “It’ll be okay. I promise I’ll do everything I can to keep you safe.”
Jenna looked up, meeting my eyes for the first time in too long.
The tears shimmering in her eyes, barely held back, tugged at my heart.
But even more than that, it was the trust in her gaze that made me tighten my hold on her.
I would keep that promise, no matter what it took. No one was going to hurt my Firefly.
She blinked the tears away, then like the sun breaking through the clouds, a smile radiated across her face, tremulous, but still stunning. Fucking beautiful.
My hand moved on its own to trace a fingertip down the curve of her jaw. Her skin was so soft, and the tiny hitch in her breath nearly undid me.
I ignored the others as Nicky commented about the rapist being her client’s father and Ryan threatened to tie her to his bed to keep her safe, like it was some fucking joke.
I only tuned back in when I heard him demand the girls go to his self-defense class.
There was a session later this week they could go to.
“You’ll go?” I asked Jenna, hoping she’d agree willingly so I didn’t have to talk her into it.
She nodded, and we worked out the details.
“I’ll help with the class.” I told Ryan. I wasn’t a certified instructor, but I’d helped him out in a jam a few times before. I wanted—needed—to do everything possible to help Jenna be safe.
“Sure, man. Thanks.”
A little while later, as soon as we finished eating, Dylan announced that he only had fourteen hours left to show Juliette how much he loves her before returning to work, and they left. It was nauseatingly sweet, but I was happy for them.
There was still a room full of our friends left, but I was done. I’d waited long enough to get Jenna home. I also needed to go talk to the cops. “Ready to go?” I asked her.
“Sure, if you are.”
Nicky stood and waited to hug me and Jenna. She held onto Jenna for a long minute, before asking, “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m good,” Jenna replied. “We’ll talk tomorrow.”
“Call if you need me.”
“You’ll make sure she gets home safe?” I asked Ryan as Nicky slid back into the seat across from him. I knew it wasn’t necessary, but I said it for her benefit more than his. It wouldn’t hurt to give him a hand before she tried to refuse.
“Of course.”
Nicky snapped her eyes to him, and I laughed. He had his work cut out for him with her.
I was ready to get the hell out of there, but Jenna insisted on saying goodbye to everyone. She was friendly with more people than I’d expected, but that shouldn’t have surprised me. She was so sweet and kind. Of course, everyone who met her loved her.
When Jenna was finally done, I tucked her into my side before walking out.
In the dimly lit parking lot, she plastered herself to me, gripping the back of my shirt.
She felt tiny and fragile in my arms, and I fucking hated the fear I felt in her, but I was grateful she didn’t try to hide it from me.
If this had been just a week earlier, I had no doubt she would’ve remained stoic, even if she was trembling inside.
The drive home was tense. I was on alert even though I didn’t see anyone outside the restaurant or following us. Jenna was on alert, too, looking out the windows and mirrors.
“No one’s there. I’ve been watching.”
“I know, I just can’t help it.”
“I’ll keep you safe,” I vowed.
Her tight smile told me she wanted to believe me but didn’t. She didn’t know yet that I’d do anything to keep her safe, but she would.
“I know rapes and all kinds of horrible things happen every day. It’s not really a big deal. It’s just weird finding out about it right after we were there.” Her tremulous voice belied her attempt to brush it off.
Her fake smile and paper-thin veneer of bravado slayed me. A small part of me wanted to agree with her. To tell her whatever she needed to hear to bring back the happy woman I’d spent the day with. She’d been glowing just a little while ago.
A bigger part of me wanted to beg her to be cautious and safe.
To tell her that I saw someone watching her, and like a little pussy, I let him walk away.
I wanted to lock her away in a safe house while I went back in time to interrogate the asswipe, and then kick my own ass for even considering ignoring a creep watching my woman.
And every single cell of my being wanted to glue myself to Jenna’s side.
To be her bodyguard and protector. To stand between her and anyone or anything that could scare or hurt her.
To be the first damn person in her entire fucking life to take care of her the way she should’ve always been.
I wanted to surround her, to build a fucking force field around her so nothing bad could ever touch her.
And inside that safe place, I wanted to show her that my touch would never hurt her.
If it made me an asshole to think about being intimate with her now, so be it.
I wasn’t thinking about getting off. I wanted her to crave my touch the way I craved hers.
I wanted to wrap her in my arms without worrying about my cock scaring her and kiss her until she was only thinking of me.
I wanted to soothe her fears with my touch, to get her body so worked up that there was no room in her head to think about anything else.
But I couldn’t do that. I’d have to use my words to allay her fears, and I didn’t have nearly as much confidence I could do that.
“I hate that we were so close to it. You don’t have to justify how you feel. I’m upset too, Firefly. It’ll be okay, though. I’ll have you safely back home soon.” And then I’d have to leave. Fuck.
“Thank you for a lovely day,” she said as I parked, one hand already on her door handle.
“Jenna…”
She glanced at me with a determined lift of her chin, her shoulders back like a little pixie soldier.
Hell no. I had no doubt she was strong, and I loved that about her, but she had to learn that she could be strong and lean on me. “Wait for me to come around, my tough little Firefly.”
“I—”
I didn’t give her a chance to refuse. “Jenna. I’m going to walk you into your apartment, take Thor out with you, and make sure you’re okay. I’m not leaving until I know you’re safely settled inside.”
She flinched and turned away. What part was she reacting to?
Me taking care of her or leaving? I couldn’t change either part of it.
I’d give anything to be able to stay with her.
For her to want me to stay. For me to not have to leave to talk to the cops about the suspicious man I ignored minutes before the rape.
Everything about this was so fucking wrong.
She remained quiet and guarded as we walked in, took Thor out, and returned to her apartment.
She sat on the couch with Thor while I excused myself to use the bathroom and did a discreet walk-through of her apartment, needing to know she was safe but not wanting to freak her out.
Everything looked secure, and there was no reason why I couldn’t go talk to the police now.
Except for the way Jenna was sitting on the couch, her skin pale, and her eyes unfocused, with her legs curled up under her and her cheek resting on Thor’s back as he sat on alert next to her.
I had to go, even if it ripped my heart out to walk away from her like this. I squatted in front of them.
“I have to go take care of something. Will you be okay?”
“Of course.” Liar.
“Do you want me to come back?”
“No, I’m just going to go to sleep, and…”
And she wasn’t comfortable with me there while she slept. “I get it, that’s fine. Thor, you take good care of her, okay buddy? And you, call me if you need anything.”
Jenna nodded but didn’t move otherwise.
“Sorry to make you get up, but come lock the door behind me.”
She nodded and stood robotically.
“Firefly,” I whispered. She was breaking my heart. I held her face between my hands, gently caressing her soft skin. Her eyelids fluttered closed, and she leaned into me. I kissed her forehead, my lips lingering, trying to convey everything I couldn’t say.
Before I could pull away, she snagged me around the neck and stood on her tiptoes, demanding a kiss.
Her mouth opened the second my lips touched hers, her tongue dueling with mine almost desperately.
I gripped her hips, holding her in place safely away from my cock that didn’t care that this was not a happy kiss, and I gave her what she needed.
“Everything’s okay,” I soothed as I pulled away.
“I know. Sorry I’m all over the place. It’s just… I can’t help thinking. I know it’s not anything, really. I’ll be fine by tomorrow.”
Fuck. I hated to leave, but I had to. I prayed that when I saw her next, I could actually believe myself when I said it was okay. “Lock the door behind me,” I said before kissing her on the forehead and walking away like an asshole.
I grabbed my phone the second I stepped out of the elevator.
“Axton speaking.” Quint Axton answered the phone on the first ring, and I’d never been so grateful for my connection to a cop. He was a friend, and a fantastic San Antonio police officer, and he was one of the first to leave the restaurant tonight, so I knew he was on the case.
“Quint, it’s Liam Lamonti. I need to talk to you.”
“I’m a little busy, as you know. What’s up?”
“I was at Atteren Park this afternoon. I may have some info.”
His voice sharpened, his full attention on me now. “On the rape?”
“Nothing solid, but it’s worth sharing. Are you at the station?”
“No, I’m at the park. Can you meet me here?”
“Yeah, I’ll be there in twenty.”
“Text me when you arrive.”
There was no traffic at that time of the night, and fifteen minutes later, I was back in the lot where Jenna and I had parked earlier.
My gut clenched at the amount of law enforcement vehicles where she’d just been.
I texted Quint and walked toward the bench, heartened to see two security cameras.
One was near the parking lot and the other one was near the bench, facing further down the walking path.
Giving the bench a wide berth, I squatted in front of it, looking at the view from there.
A perfect shot of the spot where we’d parked.
Fuck. What would he have done if Jenna had walked back to her car alone?
“Hey, man. Whatcha got?” Quint asked as he approached.
I recognized the call from afar as a warning to avoid startling me, but there was no need.
I’d clocked him seconds earlier. I filled him in on the man I saw, feeling foolish that I had to admit I didn’t do anything.
Between the book in front of his face and the hat and sunglasses he’d been wearing, I was only able to give the barest of descriptions: Caucasian male, average weight, average height, no hair showing beneath the hat, and wearing jeans, a black T-shirt, and a gray hat with an indistinguishable white logo on it.
“I’m sorrier than I can say that I just let him walk away.”
“Not your fault, man, even if it was him, and we don’t know that it was.
You’re just a civilian here, walking through the park with a woman who was your priority.
He didn’t do anything overtly wrong to give you any reason to approach him.
I appreciate you coming out to tell me. I’ll get some guys here to collect evidence, and we'll get the camera footage and check if his description matches the victim’s.
“Does her description match?” I pressed.
“I can’t say,” he hedged, pissing me off.
“Quint, he was waiting here with a direct view of Jenna’s car, his face disguised. He was watching for her.”
“Doesn’t mean he was our guy, or even if he was, that he was looking for anyone specific.” He was too damn calm and controlled.
“That’s bullshit,” I snapped. “You’d be okay taking that chance if it was Corrie? You’d be okay with a friend holding back on you?”
“Don’t go there with Corrie,” he said, his voice dangerously low.
Finally, some fucking emotion. “Even if telling you wouldn’t put our entire investigation at risk by siccing your ass on a potential—potential being the key word—suspect, the honest truth is that I don’t know enough yet to answer your question.
The only thing I could say with certainty is that this guy is a sick motherfucker.
” He paused, eyeing me critically. “Is it like that with you and Jenna?”
“Yes.”
He let out a slow sigh and dragged a hand through his hair, his professional mask cracking, the gravity of the situation etched into every line of his face. “She’s a good one. Smart too. She won’t take unnecessary risks. Make sure she knows not to come back here alone.”
Fear flashed through me. “She won’t be here alone, that’s for sure.”
“A word of advice?”
“Always.”
“Don’t underestimate her. She’s stronger than you think.”
I nodded. “I know she is.” No doubt he was thinking about the time Corrie had escaped from potential murderers, a remarkable feat for anyone, and even more impressive that Corrie did it blind.
“Make sure she knows you know that. It’s just as important as protecting her.”
“Thanks, man. You’ll let me know anything you can?”
“I will,” Quint said as we shook hands, his grip steady and his gaze unwavering.
I left feeling even more unsettled than before I spoke to him. It was up to me to protect Jenna, and I would not fail her.