Chapter 24 #2
The women took turns getting out of wrist grabs and front choke holds from one another and then from one of us.
I let Dylan take Jenna’s group, because I knew Ryan would make us switch it up.
Jenna seemed more relaxed since we’d talked, and I was happy enough watching from across the room while she yelled “No!” and broke away from Dylan.
“Remember, the goal is always to get away. Any questions so far?” Ryan asked.
Juliette whispered to Nicky, and then Nicky asked, “What if you’re hurt and can’t get away?”
Dylan tensed as Ryan answered. “If you can’t get away, try to get help to come to you.
Yell, throw things, anything to make noise and attract attention.
That may be enough to scare them away. If you’re practicing situational awareness, maybe you’ll have your car keys in your hand and you can set the alarm off, or if you’re next to a parked car, see if trying to open the door sets an alarm off. ”
Dylan pinned Ryan with a glare. He clearly didn’t like how close to home that answer was, and I agreed. It was a dick move to use that as the example when Juliette had been attacked by Dylan’s ex-wife in a parking garage.
“You can try to create a barrier between you and the attacker, and use any self-defense techniques you’re still able to.
Think about which of your body parts you can use, and look for vulnerable areas on the attacker.
Look for anything you could use as a weapon.
Most importantly, stay calm and use your head.
That’s why you need to keep practicing these techniques.
The more prepared you are, the calmer you’ll be and the better you’ll react. ”
Tears filled Juliette’s eyes, but she kept her head up proudly, nodding at Ryan’s words.
Jenna and Nicky wrapped their arms around her, and Dylan stepped toward her, but Ryan stopped him with a firm hand on his shoulder.
With his attention still fully on Juliette and his features softer than usual, Ryan continued.
“Sometimes, all you can do is try to attract attention and wait for help or an opportunity to get away. In that case, it may be best not to provoke him or her. Distracting or placating them and preventing the situation from getting worse is sometimes the best strategy. Sometimes it's just about surviving with the least possible damage done, and if you’ve done that, you should be proud of yourself. And you should be proud of yourself for being here, so you’ll be prepared going forward. ”
Juliette nodded.
“Any other questions?” Ryan asked. With his hand still on Dylan’s shoulder, he muttered to him, “She’s fine. Let her work through it with the girls.”
Nicky cleared her throat. “What if you’re in a house with another woman and a child, and you could get out, but you can’t get them out too?”
“You’re talking about if someone in the house is a threat to you?”
“Yes.”
“How do you like it now, asshole?” Dylan murmured under his breath.
“So, you could get away, but you don’t know if you should?”
“Yes.”
I was worried for all three of them. Dylan was barely holding back a grimace from the pressure of Ryan’s hand digging into his shoulder. Ryan practically had steam coming out of his ears. And Nicky apparently had no idea how close she was to being hauled off and locked up.
“If someone’s attacking or threatening you, you get away. You. Get. Away. Then you can get help. You’re no good to anyone if you’re hurt or worse. Understand?”
“But—” Nicky started before Jenna cut her off with a nudge and urgent whispering. “Got it,” Nicky said instead, zero sincerity in her tone.
“Any questions from anyone else?” I said, jumping in before things devolved any further. I looked around at the dozen other women in the room, and thankfully no one had any. Although, I wouldn’t have minded putting off the next part a little longer.
“Alright then,” Ryan said, shooting another glare at Nicky before he schooled his expression. “Watch Dylan demonstrate how to get out of some holds from behind.” Ryan walked us through the steps as I held Dylan in an arm grab, a choke hold, and a bear hug.
Jenna watched with wide, worried eyes and a determined set to her jaw. She did awesome practicing the moves on Juliette and Nicky. The girls all did great.
Ryan addressed the class again. “Good job everyone. Now one of us will come around and you’ll do the same to us. Please remember it’s a simulation, especially the nutcracker. These guys want to have kids one day.”
Nicky’s eyes snapped to Ryan at that. I couldn’t take my eyes off Jenna, though. I made my way over and pulled her to me. “I’ll be with you guys.”
Jenna nodded, some of the tension leaving her body.
“Go first. Get it out of the way,” I said. I grabbed her arm, the hold that would be the easiest for her. She stepped and turned, leveraging her body weight to break free, just as she’d been taught. She did well for the choke hold too.
Then it was time for the bear hug. I turned her to face me first and gently traced her delicate jaw, smoothing my fingers over the tension in her forehead. “It’s just me behind you.”
“I know. I’m okay.” She didn’t look quite okay, but she did look fucking tenacious.
“I’m going to hold you tightly against me. It’s important you get to practice this.”
“Liam, I’m okay. I know what this is.”
I still hesitated. Shit. I didn’t want to use my body in a way that might trigger her. “You remember what to do?”
“Yes.”
“Tell me.”
“Head butt, shin scrape, stomp, elbow, nutcracker.”
“Turn around, Firefly,” I said quietly.
She moved and I grabbed her before she was fully turned and ready. As much as I hated it, I needed her to get everything she possibly could out of this. Well, almost everything—I did keep my crotch angled away from her.
Jenna executed every move perfectly, shouting “No!” I let go and spun her around, grabbing her face and kissing her. “I’m proud of you.”
“Me too.”
I could have stood there looking at her smile all day, but Nicky interrupted to remind me it was her turn, even though it wouldn’t be as fun for her to grab my nuts.
I practiced with Nicky and Juliette, then reluctantly returned to the front of the room to demonstrate the last, and toughest, scenarios of the class.
Jenna was visibly uneasy but did well for the wall pins, and even the one in the prone position.
Then it came time for the supine hold: lying face up on the mat with the attacker on top.
Juliette and Nicky practiced on each other first while Jenna watched, unnaturally still except for her eyes darting around the room like a cornered animal.
“Firefly,” I said softly, but she still startled.
Fuck, the image of hunted prey was too damn accurate.
What the fuck did that asshole do to her?
I slowly raised my hand to her face, caressing her, comforting her the best I could here.
She tilted her head, leaning into me. “You’re safe.
It’s going to be just you and Juliette, and I’ll be right here. ”
“I know. I’m okay.”
I was starting to hate the words I’m okay.
“You don’t have to do it.”
“I want to.”
Juliette rolled Nicky off, and they both stood.
“Your turn, Firefly. Lie down.”
Jenna lay on the mat with shaking legs.
“Go ahead.” I urged Juliette to mount her, but she looked horrified at what she was about to do. “She needs to know she can do it,” I said.
Juliette nodded and gingerly sat on Jenna. Jenna’s eyes went wide with fear.
“Hands,” I reminded them. Jenna lifted her arms, exposing her forearms. Juliette held her wrists and gently pinned them by Jenna’s head. Jenna’s eyes scrunched closed, and her chest heaved with fast, shallow breaths.
Fuck. I kneeled next to Jenna. “Open your eyes. Look at me.”
Her eyes squeezed tighter. I gently traced a finger over her eyebrows. Rage threatened to consume me, but I kept my touch and voice feather-light. “Firefly, you’re safe. Look at me, please.”
Her eyes opened, latching onto me, and I nearly drowned in the despair swimming in her eyes, tears spilling onto her cheeks.
“That’s my girl. You’re doing so well.”
“Sorry,” she whispered.
“Nothing to apologize for. Ready to finish this?”
She nodded.
“Feet on the floor. Good, now free your hands. Rotate and pull.” Juliette released her immediately, but damn, even Juliette’s small hands encircled Jenna’s wrists.
A man’s hand, even a young one, would engulf her.
And when she was just a child… I tried to push back those thoughts, but it was like trying to push back a landslide with my bare hands.
“Bridge and roll. Throw her weight forward. Lock in her hand and foot. Now roll.” Jenna did it, and the second she rolled Juliette off, I pulled her to her feet. That was part of the maneuver, too, but I already deserved a medal for waiting this long.
I tucked Jenna into my side, and she grabbed handfuls of my shirt, plastering herself to me.
I led her out of the room to the hall, and sank to the floor pulling her next to me.
She leaned on my chest, and I held her close, her body trembling.
I took deep, even breaths, trying to infuse a calm I didn’t feel into her.
It was big that she was leaning on me like this, trusting me with her vulnerability.
But it wasn’t fucking enough. I didn’t want her to sit on the cold, hard ground. I wanted her on my lap. I wanted to wrap myself around her. Cocoon her into me.
After a few long minutes, her body relaxed, and then, sooner than I was ready, she straightened up. “I’m okay.”
Yeah, I really fucking hated those words.
I smoothed a hand over her hair.
“You ready to go back in?”
She nodded and stood before I could help her. I followed her up, and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Go ahead in, Firefly. I’ll be right there.”
“Do you want me to wait with you?”
“No, I just need a minute. I’ll be in soon.”
She stared at me in concern. “Are you okay?”
No. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
She looked unsure, but she went in. I watched until the door closed behind her, then turned to the wall.
I wanted to punch it, so fucking bad, but Jenna would be upset if I busted my hand because of her.
That’s how she’d see it. So, instead, I just let my head fall against it.
The door opened again, and Ryan came out.
“The motherfucker held her down,” I rasped.
“You know who the fucker is?”
“Yeah.”
“He still breathing?”
I pushed away from the wall and faced him, fists clenched. “Might not be for long.”
Ryan nodded. “Let me know if you need help. But first pull your shit together. Your girl needs you in there.”
That was Ryan. Offering to bury a body for me and telling me to get over myself all in the same breath.
“I’m good.”
By the time we left, Jenna was smiling again, but the second she walked in her door, she dropped to her knees, and like he knew, Thor wrapped his paws around her shoulders and rubbed his snout on her face before she buried it in his neck, and maybe it was crazy, but I was freaking jealous of the dog.
At least she let me take him out and get her a glass of water, so I got to help her a little. But then she sat on the couch, her legs curled up under her, looking so small, and Thor filled the spot next to her before I could.
“Instead of the gym or a jog tomorrow morning, do you want to take Thor for a nice walk? I’d rather you not take him to the park yourself right now, and I’m working on Sunday.”
“I’d like that,” she said softly. “Thanks for thinking of him.”
I raised my eyebrow at him sitting squarely between us. “Like he’d let me forget?”
Jenna laughed, and it was the best sound in the world.
“And then I’ll take you to work, and I’ll stay with you, and take you home after, and we’ll do something fun tomorrow night?
” I reached over Thor to hold her hand. “Please, Firefly. I can’t imagine how you’re feeling now, but I know how I feel, and I need to be with you, taking care of you for a while. Please say yes.”
I’d tried to take her to work and stay with her today, but she’d insisted she didn’t need a babysitter. She wanted me to come closer to the end of the day, but I bribed her with a homemade lunch and managed to spend half the day with her.
That was fine before, but not now. After the last few hours, I wanted to glue her to my side.
“Fine, but just for tomorrow.”
“I’ll take what I can get.”
Jenna yawned, big and loud. “Excuse me,” she said, slapping a hand over her mouth.
I knew how she felt about me spending the night, and now I understood the reason better than ever.
The last thing I wanted to do was push her, but…
no, that wasn’t true. The last thing I wanted to do was leave her.
“Firefly, I’m sure you’re exhausted. I hate to leave you, though. Can I stay on the couch?”
Her eyes widened, then darted to the floor, avoiding me. “I…I’m sorry…”
“I’ll stay on the couch. I know you aren’t ready to spend the night together, but I don’t want to leave you.”
Jenna leaned over Thor and traced my cheek with her fingertips, lingering in the scruff of my beard.
“Thank you. That means a lot to me. But I’m not ready for a sleepover yet, and when I am, I don’t want it to be like this.
One day, we’ll have a beautiful evening, and we’ll stay together because we want more.
Today, I just want this day to be over.”
“But…”
She covered my lips with her finger. “Go home, Liam. Come back in the morning. We’ll walk Thor, and you can be bored watching me work all day and surprise me with something fun after.”
“Fine,” I said, trying not to pout. “Call if you need me. Or just want company. Anything.”