Chapter 14
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Feeling a little unnerved by what this day could bring, Vanessa sat at the breakfast bar, mindlessly skimming the morning newspaper.
Her eyes followed every line of text, but none of the words sank in.
Her thoughts were too loud, and with another night of worry weighing on her mind, Vanessa was exhausted.
The rustle of the pages beneath her fingertips gave her something to focus on, but everything around her felt uncertain.
Even sitting here, enjoying her morning coffee, it didn’t feel right. It didn’t feel normal.
Upstairs, she could hear the faint sound of footsteps.
Emma was getting ready for work. Again, it was something so normal—routine—but it didn’t feel right.
Vanessa wasn’t sure how to change that; she wasn’t sure the atmosphere could be changed right now, but maybe she could travel into work with Emma this morning.
At least then, they’d have time to talk.
Time to plan what was next. Time to breathe.
The sound of footsteps grew louder, and then Emma appeared in the doorway as she zipped up her jacket. There was an odd, determined energy about her, like she’d already rehearsed this moment in her mind. She’s just trying to cope with this the best way she can.
“Babe, do you have a lesson after lunch today?”
Vanessa looked up and set the paper down. “I don’t. I was hoping to catch up with Dani, but nothing is definite. Why?”
“Thought we could have lunch together and not rush ourselves when it’s over.”
Vanessa lifted her coffee cup and smiled against the rim. A lunch with Emma, without the rush and without the pressure, sounded like exactly what she needed. “Tell me the time and place and I’ll be there.”
“Well, midday in the staff room.” Emma grinned, and Vanessa immediately noted how there was something lighter about her.
She wasn’t putting it on to keep up appearances.
No, this was absolutely genuine. The heaviness of Saturday didn’t seem so pronounced this morning.
Maybe Sunday’s quiet reflection had helped.
Maybe the start of a new week was some kind of reset.
Vanessa could only hope this week would be kinder than the last. “I was hoping we could figure out how I deal with the Freya stuff. I can’t avoid my student forever, and I don’t want to be that person anyway.
I just want to work and have my life. That’s all. ”
Surprised, Vanessa sat back with a frown. She had assumed Emma would want to carve out a place for Freya in her life, especially now that the truth had been revealed. “You’re…going to let it lie with Freya?”
“Oh, no. I want her in my life. I just need to figure out the best way to go about it.” Emma pulled herself up onto a stool, exhaling a deep breath as she relaxed her shoulders. “Lauren was right on Saturday. Why shouldn’t I have a relationship with Freya? She’s my sister.”
There it was. Lauren’s influence. Vanessa had hoped her daughter’s words hadn’t taken hold, but clearly they had.
It only made things feel harder and messier…
potentially leading to a much more delicate situation.
Vanessa would have to remind Emma how difficult this could be—how fragile the situation was—while hoping she didn’t crush Emma’s dreams for the future and her heart.
“I understand that, and I’m sure most other people understand it too, but Freya’s parents will have the final say, Emma. ”
“I know. I was thinking that maybe I’ll find out who I need to contact and just ask them if I can see Freya. I don’t even mind if they’re with her for the meeting. I mean, I’m already teaching her, so what does it matter?”
The simplicity in Emma’s words and her logic tugged at Vanessa’s heart.
It sounded so rational, so…easy, yet the reality was anything but.
Vanessa cleared her throat, reached across the breakfast bar, and took Emma’s hand.
“I’m going to assume the school has no idea that Freya is your sibling.
When they do find out, it may be that you no longer teach her.
I don’t quite know what the rules are. This isn’t something I’ve ever come across before. ”
“That’s right. Uproot the kid who has already had a shitty upbringing.” Emma scoffed as she pulled her hand away, retreating from the comfort Vanessa had tried to offer. “That doesn’t seem fair to Freya. Why should either of us face consequences when we didn’t ask for any of this?”
Vanessa couldn’t bear the frustration etched across Emma’s face, but she had to admire whatever was brewing behind her eyes.
Protectiveness, perhaps. Vanessa wasn’t surprised, though.
Emma had to be the most protective person she knew.
“Believe me, baby, I wish I knew the answers. I hate seeing you like this. But during my free period this morning, I’ll see what information I can find out. ”
“That’s what I’m worried about the most—the school finding out, and one of us being removed.” Emma cast her gaze to her lap. “But then I also don’t want to secretly know the truth and they find out I wasn’t honest about it.”
“I would absolutely discourage that. It never ends well when we hide the truth.” No matter what, Emma couldn’t keep this to herself.
Even if it seemed like the right thing to do in this particular moment, Vanessa couldn’t back her on it.
“This is all very new. Let’s just figure things out between us before we start getting our hopes up or thinking the worst.”
Emma slid from her stool and rounded the island. Her lips landed on Vanessa’s, but it was fleeting. As Emma pulled back, she managed the smallest of smiles. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Vanessa took Emma’s hand and squeezed gently. “We’re good together. There is no problem that we can’t solve between us.” She lifted Emma’s hand and smiled as she kissed her knuckles. “Think of it as something to keep us on our toes.”
Emma laughed, but it was nothing close to anything Vanessa recognised. “Honestly, I’m tired.”
Vanessa knew. God, she knew. It was written all over Emma’s face whenever she drifted off into silence with that faraway look in her eyes.
She had never seen her so drained or so vulnerable.
But it wouldn’t last forever. Vanessa had to believe that.
This was just a confusing and messy chapter in their story.
The world may not make sense to Emma right now, but in time, things would even out.
Vanessa hadn’t been shocked when Emma’s mum confirmed the truth about Freya.
In fact, she’d almost expected it, and now… she could only deal with it.
Meeting Jane had been strange. It had been like watching the final scene of a tragic film you already knew the ending to.
There was nothing explosive about that moment, just a sadness that had lingered long after they’d left the house.
Still, Vanessa had to wonder if maybe someday things could be different.
That their paths would cross again under better circumstances.
Doubtful. Vanessa knew it was the mother in her that hoped for a better ending. Emma wants no relationship with her mother.
And Vanessa understood that, too. Some wounds were too deep, and not everyone deserved a second chance.
Given what Emma had been through, she absolutely had the right to choose whether to forgive or to let go.
Vanessa knew her wife well enough to know that the door to Jane was closed, the locks changed and all.
“Do you see any resolution with your mum at all?”
Emma’s brow lifted as she took a step back, gathering her keys and phone as she prepared to leave for work. “No. I have no reason to form any sort of relationship with her ever again. And if this works out the way I’m hoping it will, I probably shouldn’t have any contact with her for my own sake.”
Vanessa tilted her head slightly, confused by Emma’s comment. “I don’t understand.”
“If they agree to Freya and I spending time together, that’s less likely to happen if I’m still in contact with either of my parents.” Emma chewed her lip. “When you were working in the office yesterday, I spent some time online. You know, just researching possible outcomes.”
Vanessa chose to listen rather than chastise her wife. Emma had already gone looking. She’d been arming herself with knowledge, while Vanessa had been under the impression they were taking things one step at a time. “I see.”
“One sibling being in contact with the birth parents can cause a few issues. I don’t want to do anything to jeopardise a relationship with Freya.”
Vanessa noted the tone in Emma’s voice. A tone that said, ‘I’m going to do right by my sister.’ “Then I would agree that it’s best to avoid any contact with your parents.”
Emma smiled as her shoulders untensed. That smile…it was full of belief. Belief that this could work out. Belief that everything may just align. And for a moment, Vanessa felt that belief, too.
“Anyway, I feel positive about it all.”
God, Vanessa hated this. All of it. Because as she watched Emma’s growing smile, she knew a different side.
Fostering and adoption were a maze. It was full of unpredictable twists and turns.
If Freya’s guardians said no, if they shut Emma out, Vanessa didn’t know how or if her wife would recover from that kind of rejection.
“Come on, babe. Let’s head off to work.” Emma reached for the car keys in the bowl on the dining table.
She knocked back her orange juice in one quick gulp, letting out a satisfied sigh as she lowered the glass to the sink and spun around.
“Don’t forget to let me know later if you can meet me at lunch, okay? ”