Chapter MADDIE
MADDIE
Remi’s face appears on screen just as I was about to give up. I know this isn’t the time we agreed to talk, but it was the first quiet moment I’d managed to steal all day, and I couldn’t waste it.
Who am I kidding?
The truth is, the thought of speaking to Remi was eating me alive. I couldn’t wait another second.
What I need to say is too important. And for days, I’ve been torn apart by the anxiety of how he might respond.
But the moment I see him, even pixelated and blurred through the screen, I’m flooded with emotion: desire, longing, and that familiar awe at how effortlessly beautiful he is. His hair is still damp, dark strands falling across his forehead. His eyes are tired, shadowed, but still warm. Still him.
I shouldn’t be surprised he’s awake this early. It’s Saturday morning in London. He usually starts the day with a gym session.
“Remi… baby… I’m sorry for the timing. I just got a break from work and figured I’d try my luck.”
He gives me a hesitant smile, those hazel eyes a little dimmer than usual, but still comforting like melted chocolate. I want so badly to reach through the screen and touch him. To remind him I’m still here. That we’re still us.
“I just got out of the shower,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck. “Didn’t pick up right away. No big plans this morning, just heading to the gym later. Tonight… Seb and I are meeting the others at Blackbird for dinner. So maybe it’s good you called now.”
My heart skips at the mention of Sebastian, and I can’t help but clap my hands, grinning.
“Oh yes! I was hoping to ask how things are going with him. Sounds like he’s fitting in beautifully with the group!”
Remi nods, but there’s something reserved in his expression.
“I knew it! I knew you’d all love him.”
I feel this rush of happiness, knowing Seb’s surrounded by people who care, by my people. Even if I’m not there, he’s in good hands.
Anne, especially, I never doubted she’d look out for him. Underneath all that sass, she’s got one of the kindest hearts I know. But the fact that Remi is also keeping his promise to look after Seb… it means the world to me.
Still, Remi seems strangely tense. Maybe he’s just tired. With uni and no one at home to ground him, he’s probably been working overtime.
“Where’s Seb, anyway? Still asleep? I don’t believe it.”
“He was wiped out by the end of the week,” Remi replies, stretching his neck. “The conservatoire’s pushing him hard.”
“Wiped out? Doesn’t sound like the Sebastian I remember…” I laugh, shaking my head. “He used to sneak out every chance he got. Party animal.”
“Guess he’s grown up,” Remi murmurs. “He’s got a lot on his plate these days.”
I nod but press on; time is short, and I can’t delay this any longer. I draw a deep breath.
“Remi, sweetheart, I’ve got to get back to work soon, auction prep; you know how stressful it gets. But before that, I need to tell you something.”
He stops me. “Me too, Mads.”
“Oh… well, go ahead then.”
“No, no, you first,” he says after a pause.
My stomach tightens, but I forge ahead.
“My job here… it’s going really well. Better than I imagined.”
“I never doubted it. You’ve always been a star, Maddie. Hard-working and driven.”
I offer him a grateful smile, then continue.
“They’ve offered me a position, Remi. A big one. A junior auctioneer post just opened up at Sotheby’s here in New York. They want me to take it.”
He blinks, stunned.
“My team in London’s already been consulted, they’re fine with it, since I’d still be with the company. It’s a major promotion. A permanent contract, a huge salary increase, future advancement… and perks. Housing, healthcare, even school support… for future kids, I mean.”
At that word, kids, Remi’s face shifts like he’s been struck.
“Mads… that’s amazing. I mean, truly. I’m… wow. I’m proud of you.”
I can tell he’s overwhelmed, maybe even a little blindsided. So I press gently.
“Come to New York with me, Remi.”
My heart pounds in my chest. The silence stretches.
“You don’t have to answer now. I know it’s sudden, and I know how much you love your work in London. But there are universities here, too, great ones. You’d have opportunities. We’d have a life. Together.”
Still, he doesn’t respond. And the unease in my stomach begins to twist.
“I haven’t accepted yet,” I add quickly. “If you were completely against it… I wouldn’t push.”
But then his voice cuts through, clear and certain.
“No, Maddie. You have to take it. You can’t turn down something like this.”
His tone is firm. Absolute.
“But… I wouldn’t want to leave without you.”
“You have to,” he says again. “You’d regret it if you didn’t.”
That’s when it hits me. What he’s really saying. My voice comes out small, almost foreign.
“You made up your mind already. You’re not coming.”
“Mads… I’ve spent these past weeks thinking. A lot. About us. About myself. And I’ve realized there are parts of me I never understood before. Parts I need time to explore. Alone.”
My breath catches.
“I care about you deeply, but I can’t be in this relationship anymore.”
No.
No. No. No.
My mind screams. My chest caves in. I want to throw the phone across the room.
“What are you talking about? What parts? When I left, everything was fine! Tell me what the hell is going on, Remi!”
He looks like he’s in pain. Real pain. I know that look, it’s the one he wore only when talking about his father. It breaks my heart all over again.
“Maddie… I never wanted to do this over the phone. But I owe you honesty. I owe it to what we had.”
His voice is low but unwavering.
“I do care about you. But pretending would be crueler.”
I want to scream. To cry. But something inside me, self-preservation maybe, kicks in. I can’t fall apart. Not again.
I nod slowly. Then speak, somehow calm.
“Remi… I shouldn’t have sprung this on you like this. I got carried away by the excitement. The timing was… awful.”
He rubs his eyes, silent.
“I’ll be here until the end of the summer. They’ve asked me to extend my stay regardless of what I decide. It’s non-negotiable.”
We both pause. He looks like he wants to speak, but doesn’t.
“I was going to ask you to come visit me. Soon. But… maybe we both need time to figure things out.”
A tear slips down my cheek. I wipe it away quickly.
I won’t cry. Not in front of him. I’ve done that before. After Seb. After everything.
I rebuilt myself once. I won’t let him undo me.
This isn’t over. Not yet. I will find out what’s really going on.
And I’ll get him back.
I end the call while we’re still looking at each other.
And I know one thing with certainty.
I’m not giving up.