Chapter 54
54
BEN
I slide down the icy wall until my ass hits the hard concrete floor. Covered head to toe in my partner’s blood, I drop my head into my hands. Everything replays like a slow-motion movie reel in my mind, forcing me to relive one of the top three worst moments of my life.
There was nothing I could do. I was too far away and too inept to protect him. He was so fearless, so mighty, as he went after the perpetrator like the hero he is.
Shoving my fingers roughly through my hair, I tug hard on the strands, causing pain, hoping it will distract me from the devastation ripping me apart, but it barely scratches the surface.
The graze from the bullet on the side of my neck burns and aches, but it’s nothing compared to the ache that’s shattered my soul. The paramedics wanted to check me over, but it was more important to get Rex the help he needed. I didn’t care about myself; getting him to the vet was my only priority.
The fluorescent lights buzz overhead, the smell of antiseptic fills my nose, and I shift on my numb ass. Exhaustion tries to drag me into its depths, but I can’t give in. I need to fight … to be here. For Rex. I refuse to let him down a second time today.
I shake my head and squeeze my eyes closed, dropping my head between my shoulders. I try to draw in a deep breath and shut everything out so I can focus on my best friend. He’s been privy to my deepest confessions, some of my darkest nights, and my heartbreak. He’s been my salvation. My best friend. The best work partner a guy could ask for.
Soft, familiar fingers slide into my hair, and I look up into the most gorgeous sea-colored eyes I’ve ever seen. Without words, she drops to her knees and pushes her way between my legs, draping herself around me despite the blood covering my uniform and flesh.
My heart stutters and stops before taking off at a gallop, and I swallow the earthquake of emotions that want to break free. I wrap my weary arms around her, soaking up her warmth and silent comfort.
A sob drags my attention to the left, and I lift my gaze to find Evan with bloodshot eyes and tears pouring down his cheeks. I grip his slender wrist and tug him down to join me and Hope on the floor. Then, I wrap my arm around him and pull him in tight. His body shudders against mine, and it takes everything inside of me not to fall apart with him.
With the three of us huddled on the cold floor of the vet clinic, my loneliness dissipates. A surge of energy, a second wind of sorts, slides through my body. “How did you guys know where we were?” I murmur into Hope’s soft hair.
“Nix made some calls, and Shane dropped us off because I was in no state to drive.” She sucks in a sharp breath, her bottom lip wobbling, tearing the remnants of my heart to pieces. “A-at first”—she swallows, tears shimmering in her gorgeous eyes, adding an ethereal quality to the pools of blue/green, her lips quivering with broken pain—“w-we thought it was you. We thought you’d been shot, but Nix … he made some calls … he has a friend on the force, and he found out you were okay, but Rex … wasn’t.”
Heartbreak is etched into every movement of her lips, every word … every shuddering breath she takes. I can’t fathom the pain she suffered—the utter heartbreak, and yet she’s here. Beside me. Offering her love and comfort.
She’s so fucking strong.
She thought she lost me today, but here she is, beside me, supporting me.
Fissures form across my heart, splintering outward. I’ve hurt her in the worst possible way—something I never wanted to do. My career causes her pain and distress, which means I need to leave it behind, just like Seb and I discussed.
He was right. If I want to build a life with Hope and Evan, it’s unfair for me to work in a job that will cause them distress every time I leave for work.
Especially after today.
They’ll always worry and I don’t want to put either of them through that. They’ve experienced enough tragedy and only deserve peace and calm. They deserve to know they come first and that I love them enough to remove any unnecessary risk from our lives.
“I’m never leaving you. Either of you.” I declare, then drop a kiss to the top of her head, then I do the same with Evan. “I promise you with everything I am. My promise is everlasting. ”
Evan drags his tear-stained face from my shoulder, anguish painting his boyish features. He shouldn’t have to feel this kind of pain. Not after everything he’s already lost. “I-I don’t wanna say goodbye to Rex. I l-love him so much.” A sob explodes over his lips, and his body shudders.
I tug him back in and kiss the top of his head. “He’s in expert hands here.” I swallow past the sawdust on my tongue, hoping I’m not lying to him. “We won’t have to say goodbye.”
Both he and Hope jolt back. “You mean …” Hope murmurs.
“He’s not dead?” Evan shouts.
I shake my head, my heart thundering in my chest, my blood rushing through my veins. “No. He’s in a bad way. The perpetrator shot his shoulder, and he lost a lot of blood because he got straight back up and continued his pursuit until he took the gunman down. He’s done a lot of damage. The vet is going to do her best, but it’s a long, complicated surgery, and she can’t promise anything.” I run my hand through my hair in agitation. “We need to stay positive.”
Evan and Hope both breathe a relieved sigh, the tension in their shoulders falling away. “That’s better news than I thought we’d hear.” Hope looks at Evan. “We can stay positive, right, Ev?”
He nods like a bobble doll, his eyes wide like saucers and filled with hope. If the situation wasn’t so dire, I’d laugh. “Definitely!” He looks around us, then back at me. “Why are we sitting on the floor?”
I chuckle darkly, scrub my hands tiredly down my face, then look at the boy who’s become a son to me. “I was feeling pretty low, and this felt like an appropriate place to be.”
He climbs to his feet and yanks on my arm. “We’re here now. We’ve got you.”
Warmth moves through my chest and radiates out through my body like sunlight, and gratitude for my small family fills my soul. Hope pulls away, grabbing my other arm, and together they tug me to my feet, then guide me to a chair. Bone-weary exhaustion floods my body like a tsunami as the adrenaline drains from my system, and I collapse into the plastic chair. Everything aches and I feel eighty-seven, not twenty-seven.
Evan and Hope sit on either side of me, taking my hand in each of theirs. Hope drops her head to my shoulder, and Evan’s eyes take in our surroundings. “How come you didn’t take him to see Tori?”
“I wish I could. Whenever he’s injured or sick, I have to bring him here because this is the clinic approved by the police force.”
Evan nods and we fall into silence as shadows lengthen across the floor of the waiting room. I’ve lost track of the hours, but I’m also grateful for the time it’s taking—it means they’re working on Rex. It means I still have hope that he’ll be okay. Maybe not the same as he was before, but as long as he’s here, I don’t care. He’ll still be my Rex.
The doors that lead through to the surgery swing open like a gunshot in the silence, and with energy I didn’t think I had, I jump to my feet and stalk forward, aware of Hope and Evan following close behind. “How is he?”
The doctor gives me a smile full of pity and my guts drop to the floor. My knees threaten to give out, so I lock them in place, preparing for the worst.
“We’ve had to give Rex several infusions, and we’ve removed the bullet which shattered his scapula. An inch to the right and it would have hit his heart. As it was, the bullet scraped his lung. He has pins and rods holding the bone together. He’s under heavy sedation and will need to remain here for at least forty-eight hours once he wakes properly. He’ll need physiotherapy once the bone knits together.”
My breath gushes out of me, and my weary muscles relax. The doctor’s eyebrows knit together, and sadness washes over her features.
“I’m not sure how to tell you, but my previous experience with injuries like these leaves me with little doubt that the extensive damage caused will be career-ending for Rex. I’m so sorry.” She lays her hand on my forearm and squeezes.
How many times can a heart break? Can it really shatter and put itself back together, only to get broken again with different news? In the grand scheme of things, I’m just glad he’s still alive. The rest doesn’t matter. “Thank you, doctor. Can we see him?”
She nods. “Sure. Just give us a few minutes to clean him up and settle him in his crate.”
She heads back through the doors, and I drop my head, breathing deeply for the first time since Rex was shot. Cupping my face in my hands, the tears that have been threatening to fall escape in sheer relief.
Hope gently strokes along my spine, and Evan wraps his arms around my waist, reminding me I’m not dealing with this alone. They love Rex as much as I do. I wrap my arms around them, holding them close, drawing strength from them and giving it in return.
“You guys really should go home. There’s nothing you can do here. Get some sleep and something to eat and come back tomorrow,” the night nurse murmurs.
If it were only me, I’d stay, but as I look at Hope’s exhausted face and Evan sleeping on the hard plastic chair, I realize I need to take them home. I nod at the nurse and climb to my feet, stretching my arms above my head. “We’ll be back in a few hours.”
Hope’s questioning gaze locks with mine. “Are you sure? We can stay.”
I tuck a loose curly lock behind her ear and trace the line of her delicate jaw with the back of my hand. “We all need to rest. I need to feed you guys, and I desperately need to shower.”
Her eyes drop to my body, tracing over every inch of my blood-stained uniform—not that the blood is overly visible on the dark navy material—and widen when they land on the dried blood on my neck and arms. I can’t imagine what I must look like. She nods, then leans over Evan, rubbing his back and whispering in his ear until he rouses.
He jolts upright, looking around in confusion. “Is Rex okay?”
She smiles gently. “He’s fine. The nurses are looking after him, so we’re going home to eat and sleep. We’ll come back tomorrow.” She glances at the clock on the wall and winces. “Actually, later today. Okay?”
He nods. “Yeah, okay. I could eat, and I’m pretty tired.”
I drag out my phone. “I’ll call an Uber.”
“No need. My car’s here. Nix followed Shane, so we wouldn’t be stranded,” she tells me as she drags her keys out of her purse.
Gratitude fills every cell of my body for the support of Hope’s friends. The nurse unlocks the glass doors, and we step out into the chilly night, my arms wrapped around my two most favorite people.
When we breach the doorway and I look up, the sight that greets me steals every molecule of oxygen from my lungs. At least one hundred people, wrapped in blankets and warm clothes, holding candles in the darkness of the earliest hours of the morning.
“Oh, wow,” Hope murmurs, her fingers gripping tightly to the back of my shirt.
“Are they here for Rex?” Evan asks, his voice full of wonder.
“I guess so.” I nod as the three of us move toward the large group.
As we grow closer to the crowd, familiar faces catch my attention. Donnelly, Eva, Samuel, and Peter huddled together with Brett, Francine, Connor, Michael, and Scott. Tori’s standing with them, and Evan breaks away from us to jog over to his friends. They greet him like they’ve been friends forever, not a few months, pulling him into their huddle.
I watch the tension fall away from the group when Evan tells them Rex is going to be okay. Tori’s eyes snap up to mine, and I know she’ll want all the medical details later.
Looking around at the gathered crowd, out here in the middle of a freezing night, holding a vigil for Rex, my chest expands with thankfulness.
Keeping Hope close, I clear my throat. “Thank you so much for coming out to support Rex. He’s undergone extensive surgery to repair the damage he sustained today. He’s still heavily sedated, but the doctors and nurses believe he’ll pull through. We don’t yet know how his injury will impact his future as a K9 officer, but at this time, I’m just grateful he’s alive.”
Cheers, applause, and loud whoops of joy fill the night air, bringing a smile to my lips. I lean down and kiss the top of Hope’s head, needing her to ground me after my shitty day. I stop to talk to the kids and Tori, as well as other members of the community holding vigil.
Eventually, everyone disperses, and we head home, grabbing burgers from a twenty-four-hour drive-thru. When Hope pulls up in front of my place, my stomach drops and dread consumes me.
I don’t want to be alone tonight.
Hope answers my unspoken plea when she turns off the engine and climbs out of the car, Evan following close behind after pulling a small carry bag from the back seat. I drag my weary bones out of her car and follow them to my front door.
We’re quiet as we make it inside and eat, each of us emotionally and physically exhausted.
“It feels weird not having Rex here,” Evan murmurs.
I rub the top of his head. “Sure does. Hopefully, he’ll be home where he belongs soon.”
After we clean up, Evan puts himself to bed in the bedroom he’s claimed. Hope locks the house, turns out the lights, and leads me upstairs to my ensuite without saying a single word.