Chapter 18
I’d forgotten all about the crowd of fans that had been waiting in the lobby, and the moment the doors slid open, I was met with screams of excitement and then disappointment. And I could only imagine the mess I looked like.
I wasn’t reading into things as I tried to slip out of the elevator, past the glares of several girls. They wouldn’t know that I’d just been with Asher, would they? And now I had no way of getting back up there to see him. To talk to him. To figure things out.
But I did have my phone. Which had his number.
Shoving my way through the crowd, I hustled out into the parking lot and pulled my phone from my pocket. Clicking on his contact, I ignored the fact that it was nearly two in the morning. I dialed his number and waited as it rang.
And rang.
And rang.
It continued to ring until eventually it sent me to voicemail.
My shoulders sagged, but I was determined. So, I called him again.
And again.
And again.
But each time, it eventually went to voicemail.
I wrapped my arms around my body and sank back against the wall. If I had just confessed what I had, I would’ve been mad too. And instead of understanding, instead of taking a moment to actually process what he was truly asking, I’d told him to fuck off.
This was my bed I’d made, and now I had to lie in it.
Pushing off the wall, I slowly dragged my feet to my car. Time to go home and try to get a couple hours of sleep at least before I had to be up to teach and deal with a district meeting. Stupid district meeting.
Stupid me. Stupid me.
My fingers spun the ring between them as I sat at my desk.
One perk about being an English teacher was silent reading time on Fridays.
I should’ve given this back to him, but I was quietly grateful I hadn’t thought about it.
There had been no missed calls from him this morning, no missed texts or Picsnaps.
I’d texted him a couple times and even called him, but nothing.
Though I hadn’t dared Picsnap him yet, because I knew that if he opened it and didn’t respond, or didn’t open it, all that would do was hurt me even more.
So instead, I let myself wallow in pity and exhaustion while my class read.
I should use this time to catch up on the work I’d neglected the past two days.
Should was the keyword.
But I was anywhere except here.
My mind was only able to think about one thing and one thing only: Asher. Well, him and how much of a fool I’d been. And he’d even come to the elevator to ask for my forgiveness, when I should’ve been the one to—
A shrill ring shot through the air, snapping me out of my thoughts. I blinked, realizing I’d let half of my pasta drop from my fork. It was already lunchtime, and I’d barely noticed. Glancing at my phone, I furrowed my brows. What was Sydney calling me for?
I clicked the answer button and put it on speaker, wanting to continue eating my lunch. “What’s up, girl?” I asked. At least the guilt was mostly gone when I was with my best friend. Though I wasn’t sure that the guilt was worse than the heartbreak I was feeling right now.
“Do you want the bad news or the bad news first?” she hesitantly said. I pushed the glasses up my nose and brushed some lint from my forest-green paper-bag-style pants.
“Let’s go with the bad news.” I stared at the phone, unable to eat with the nerves that were now running through me.
“Void’s manager called me,” she quietly began.
“And?” My stomach sank.
“They can’t come tomorrow anymore. Apparently, the fans got too intense and wild, and they’ve left town for their safety,” she finished.
My hands went numb; my heart began bleeding out.
I’d ruined things. Past the point of ever fixing them.
Asher backed them out, and I had no one to blame but myself.
No one to be upset with except for me. I’d pretty much told him, “Hey, you’re great and all, but only for sex,” when he’d been searching for some confirmation that he meant more than that to me.
And he did.
“I’m sorry, Cosi. Though they’re still coming back for the two-night concerts, so we can still go to that,” Sydney said, breaking the silence. It was fine. Everything was fine.
“What’s the other bad news?” I tried to change the subject from Void and Asher. Attempting to mask the pain that was ripping through me. I felt so abruptly lonely.
“Danny’s here with your parents already,” she replied, and I closed my eyes. “My parents wouldn’t let him stay at their house, though, so he’s stuck in a hotel, while yours get to crash in a guest room here.”
“Well, that’s not entirely terrible news, right?” I tried to be hopeful. “Make sure you tell your parents how grateful I am that they have my back.”
“Of course! Again, Cosi. I am sorry about Void. I was so excited to stick it to Danny, and now it’s too late to find something else.” Her voice was soft and sympathetic.
“It’s fine. Really. Maybe a good thing since now I won’t worry about Danny taking things out on my parents,” I mumbled.
“Except you know that my parents wouldn’t have let him go that far. They don’t like him. Like at all.”
“Let’s get drunk tonight. Pregame my birthday,” I blurted out, ready to drown myself in alcohol and forget everything for just a bit at least.
“What?” she gasped.
“I’m being serious. Your parents and my parents go out for the evening, and we get drunk.”
“Oh, my gosh! Yes!” She squealed. “I’ll set everything up and call the girls!”
“Perfect. I’ve already packed a bag to stay the night at your parents, so I’ll leave right after the district meeting.”
“I still can’t believe you want to get drunk and party before your actual party!
Okay, I love you! I’ll see you this evening!
” And she hung up the phone without another word.
I slumped forward, no longer interested in my food.
Nothing sounded good at this moment, nothing felt delicious.
I wasn’t hungry at all anymore. Pushing the container away, I leaned back in my chair as my phone buzzed again.
This time, I stared in annoyance at my screen. Danny had texted me.
Your parents and I are here! So excited for your birthday tomorrow.
My parents and him? Seriously? He’s making it seem like this was completely acceptable. At least when my dad texted me next, all it said was that he and my mom were excited to see me later. Nothing about being there with Danny. Nothing about Danny at all.
I shook my head, placing my phone screen down on my desk. I was exhausted and done. Already entirely done, and if it wasn’t for the fact that I was still at work, I would’ve broken my own rule concerning alcohol and already started drowning myself in my sorrows.
Everything was a mess. One I’d created. If I could at least make it through the meeting, then I’d be able to forget the implosion that I’d caused.
That’s all I needed was to make it a few more hours, and I could become mindlessly drunk for the first time in my life.
It was my turn to not be the designated driver, the sober friend.
I’d already fucked things up enough by letting myself fall in too deeply with Asher, what’s one more screw up?
Shaking my head subtly, I doodled on the meeting’s schedule.
They were talking nonsense that could’ve been emailed, like usual, and I was already checked out.
We hadn’t even made it to the reason we were here in the first place yet, and even Elysia was bored sitting beside me.
She too leaned against the table, her chin in her hands.
“How much longer do you think this is going to be?” she muttered in my ear, and I shrugged my shoulders.
“They haven’t even gotten to the topic of the concert, so who knows,” I whispered in return, and she groaned quietly. Luckily, we were near the back of the room at the district building, so the superintendent hadn’t noticed us.
However, as I scanned the filled room, teachers tucked into every corner, I couldn’t help but realize that we were not the only ones checked out, and I feared that his ignorance of it all would disappear soon.
And I was right. Within five minutes of my observation, he stopped talking and crossed his arms. “Since almost nobody is paying attention, I already gave each principal instructions for how to handle next Friday. Find what room your school has been assigned to and please meet them there.”
My mouth fell open.
“What was the point of us being here if he wasn’t even going to be the one to address the schedule change for next week?” Elysia gasped beside me. I shook my head.
“No freaking clue,” I grumbled. We both rose from our seats and waded through the crowd out into the jam-packed hallway. Following signs, we eventually found ourselves in a smaller room that reminded me of some of the classrooms I’d sat in back in college.
There were no large tables, only chairs with small desks that flipped up and down on one side.
Each row sat a little higher than the one in front of it so you could easily see the whiteboard.
Our principal stood at the head of the room, waiting patiently as we all slid into separate seats.
Muffled voices filled the room while he sifted through a few papers, running his hand over his thinning, gray hair.
He glanced up from the papers as we all quieted down and then tugged at his coffee leather belt that held up his khaki slacks. Walking to the center of the room, he smiled apologetically.
“If I’d known that you weren’t needed at the first part of the meeting, I would’ve simply said to meet me here.
But I only learned about it five minutes before the superintendent began.
Anyway, I’ve got a few things to go over before we discuss the topic that everyone is here for.
” He went over our usual meeting topics concerning safety and reports and budgets as well as upcoming field trip dates and whatnot.
Then the juicy topic began. “So, believe it or not, the superintendent has decided to leave it mostly up to each individual principal on how we handle next Friday. I’d like to hear your thoughts because I don’t quite understand this obsession with Void.”
“I don’t get it either,” one of the older science teachers grumbled. The head of our music department stood up, her mouth hanging open.
“Oh, the ignorance. These students have all come together and found common ground in a single band. They have powerful lyrics and captivating voices and—”
“And feed into getting sexualized by their fans. Maggie, I’ve seen some of the videos on social media,” he interrupted, and I chuckled quietly.
Elysia furrowed her brows and glanced toward me.
“It’s art, Hubert. Art!” the music teacher continued. “My students and I have spent the past couple weeks dissecting some of their songs. It’s poetic, and it’s not their fault that some crazy fans decide to post videos like that.”
I snorted again.
“In my opinion, that still doesn’t justify cutting a day in half. We have to make it up some other time, and everyone is okay with simply letting it happen?” he grumbled, and a few mumbled agreements filtered into the air.
Our principal nodded. “This is exactly why I wanted to discuss this. We could just keep a full day.”
Maggie gasped again. “And deprive these kids of an incredible opportunity?” She threw her hands in the air, upset.
“So, make it a field trip,” I blurted out, suggesting something that could fix the entire dilemma. Elysia looked at me, her mouth gaping open. I almost never said anything during any meeting. Ever.
“What?” our principal asked, facing me with his eyes wide. Stunned.
I took a deep breath and glanced around the room. “I’m just saying, if we turn it into a field trip, then we wouldn’t have to count it as a half day. And I know I could make up some assignment to go with so it could be educational, like an essay or something.”
“Except that would insinuate that we condone the band’s deviant behavior. The way those boys on stage…gyrate and just…flirt with each other and the crowd,” Hubert grumbled.
I rolled my eyes. “It’s for family night. Any of that ‘deviant’ stuff won’t happen until the next concert. And even if it happens, the kids are going whether you accept it or not, so why not use it for some good PR?”
“I bet you enjoy their music.” He glared at me.
“Cosette enjoys classical music, I’ll have you know. She’s brought me some amazing recommendations before,” Maggie interjected, defending me.
“Thank you, Maggie.” I smiled at her, but I didn’t confirm or deny anything.
“Well, if we don’t have any other suggestions, I like Cosette’s idea,” our principal said, and Hubert frowned but said nothing.
“If there are kids that aren’t going to attend, make sure you have them be able to complete your assignments in a different way or offer them an alternative.
School will be released after our usual third period, so I’ll send out a shortened full day schedule by the beginning of next week. Any questions?”
No one spoke, and we were finally dismissed. I bid Elysia a simple see you tomorrow and scurried out of the building. Time to go get drunk.