15. George
Chapter fifteen
George
I put the old wicker chair on the porch of my new beach house. I spied the chair on the side of the road with a ‘free’ sign attached to it on the way home.
It looks awful.
But it’s mine.
I grin, sitting in the chair as I look out over my property. Oh, it needs so much work but it’s the sort of work I look forward to.
Catherine’s little sporty car turns into my driveway.
She jumps out and waves to me.
“Mind if I bug you for a bit?” she calls.
Her hair is loose around her, a little messy as though she’s been running her fingers through it. And the casualness of her appearance makes my heart skip a bit.
Catherine’s the type of woman who is beautiful all the time. The fact that she doesn’t realize how beautiful she is causes a pang to hit my stomach.
She comes up the porch and tests the stability of the railing before she leans against it.
“This is a pretty spot,” she says.
“Almost makes you wish it was real, huh?” I joke.
Catherine doesn’t answer, only keeps looking over the property.
“Are you okay?” I ask.
“Yeah. I’m going up to the city in a couple of days to look at some apartments.” Her hands tighten on the railing. “Two more companies have contacted me, asking for interviews. So I need to start the apartment hunting so I can move back as soon as I get a job.”
Already?
Yeah, she’s been here for a while now, but it just feels like time has flown by.
My heart starts to pound. Can I really let her leave without telling her that I’ve fallen for her?
I’ll have another chance, right? I shouldn’t blurt it out right here. I need time for the right words. To set up the right scenario.
Flowers.
I need to buy her flowers.
And bring them to the museum.
Only I already did that. I need something that’s my idea and my idea alone.
“I got a call from Crimson earlier, too,” Catherine continues, blissfully unaware of the rabid thoughts racing through my head. “He and June have decided to officially announce their relationship. He asked me to come back to work for him.”
“What did you say?”
“No, of course.” Catherine turns back to me. “I told him that I hope that he’s happy and that June has changed, but that I can’t trust her back in my life.”
I stand and join her. “How did he take it?”
“He said that I ought to give her another chance.” Catherine’s arms tightened. “It’s the same thing I’ve heard from people all my life. I told him that unfortunately, this is part of a pattern I’m too used to. Maybe she has changed this time, but it’s too late.”
A protective swell surges through me. Even though I have problems with my parents, I can’t imagine ever cutting them out of my life.
Catherine doesn’t just have problems with her mother. And I have a feeling that if June really had changed, she wouldn’t have inserted herself into Catherine’s life again without asking, anyway.
I can’t truly judge their situation. I have to remind myself of that.
“Are you okay?” I ask her gently.
Catherine gives me a soft smile. “Better than I thought I would be. It’s good to have job opportunities. And I suppose it will be a relief for the truth to finally be out there.”
I nod, understanding. “Should I warn my parents ahead of time, so they don’t bring it up to you?”
“If you want. I think it’s more important that we start setting up our breakup,” she says. “It’ll be best if we blame my job. Say that I got an unexpected opportunity or something.”
Right.
That will be happening soon.
I let out a slow breath. “We should keep the false engagement around for a while after you’re back in the city. I don’t want my parents thinking that’s the only reason for our breakup.”
“Alright, that makes sense.” A furrow forms between her eyebrows. “I’m just worried about Katherina.”
“What for?”
Catherine tucks her hair behind her ears as she thinks. “I guess I’m worried that she’ll think that I’m leaving when she arrives just because I don’t like her.”
“Why would she think that?” I ask, surprised.
“Because she just got here and I’m immediately looking for somewhere else to live.” Catherine sighs heavily. “The thing is, I didn’t want her to be around. It’s not her fault, she’s an innocent kid. But I can’t help but wonder why our mother wanted to keep her and not me.
“Then I think, June dumping me on Grandma was the best thing she could have done for me. So I feel guilty for being resentful of a literal child who has no control in the situation.” She shakes herself. “Mostly I worry that I’m going to end up treating her the same way June treated me.”
I put my hands on Catherine’s shoulders, turning her to me. “You do realize that your situations aren’t comparable, right?”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re Katherina’s half-sister. That’s a very different position than mother. I’ve seen the way you interact with her. You’re being too hard on yourself.”
Her hair has come loose again. I tuck it behind her ear and let my fingers linger on her cheek. It’s so soft and warm. My fingers trail over her cheekbone and I lower my hand to brush over her lips.
Her mouth opens slightly.
“You’re a wonderful person, Catherine. You’re dedicated and focused. You care about people deeply. I wish you could see yourself the way everyone else sees you,” I murmur, moving a little closer.
“George…”
I realize that I’ve lingered too long, touching her. I pull back, letting my hand drop to my side. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have touched you like that.”
“If it was a problem, I wouldn’t have let you,” Catherine murmurs.
“I still crossed a line.”
Catherine reaches up to press her fingers to where my hand had been. “Did you? Really?”
The air becomes electric.
Gazing into her brown eyes, I want nothing more than to close the distance between us.
Chills sweep over my arms. That pull of electricity that begs for sparks. If I touch her again, it will be electric. I know this more than I know my own name.
“Catherine…”
“George?”
I swallow hard. “Right now, I really want to kiss you.”
“I want you to kiss me, too,” she whispers.
Moving slowly, I lift my hand to press my palm back against her cheek. She leans into my touch, her breath wafting across my wrist.
Her lips look just so enticing. I slant my mouth across them, kissing her gently. Catherine closes her eyes, her hands lightly grasping my biceps. Fireworks simmer beneath the point of our connection.
There’s nobody around to prompt us into this.
No role to play.
Just her and me, the only people for miles around.
The kiss is sweet and passionate all at once.
I comb my fingers through her hair, enjoying the silky feeling.
Catherine sighs and breaks the kiss.
Regret fills her eyes. I let my hand fall to my side again. Why does she regret the kiss?
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that,” she whispers.
“Why?”
Her eyes widen slightly. “B-because I shouldn’t have… I’m going to be going back to the city. Kissing just makes things complicated. It was a mistake for me to do that.”
If I don’t say something now, I have a feeling I’ll never have a true chance again.
I screw up my courage. “What if it wasn’t?”
“What if… but it was.”
“What if you don’t leave?” I blurt it out, not letting myself think of the complications this could begin. “What if you stay in Sandburrow? Or we can have a long-distance relationship?”
Catherine bites her lip, her brown eyes wide.
They’re such a lovely shade. I want those eyes to be the first thing I wake up to for the rest of my life.
“I love you, Catherine. I’ve always loved you. From the first moment I saw you, I knew I’d always love you. Why do you think I kissed you when you asked in high school?”
“Because you felt sorry for me.”
I shake my head emphatically. “I never felt sorry for you, Catherine. I’ve always admired you. You were the person who pushed me the most. The person I wanted to impress. I never would have gotten to where I’m at now if I hadn’t constantly thought that Catherine Hart would do better.”
Catherine steps back from me. “You’re only saying this because things are crazy emotional right now. It’s not real.”
“I think I have a pretty good idea about my own feelings,” I tell her.
“That’s not… George, this can’t happen,” she says desperately. “I can’t live in Sandburrow. I don’t want to live in Sandburrow. You belong here. You’re happy here. I’m not. I need to go back to real life.”
I gesture around us. “Is this all fake to you? This house? Me?”
She takes off her ring and holds it up. “This is.”
“It doesn’t have to be.”
Catherine puts the ring on the porch railing, staring hard at it. “That’s just the thing, George. It does have to be. What are you promising me?”
“Love.”
“That’s the problem.” She throws back her shoulders and looks me square in the eye. “I don’t want to be loved.”
I step back. “What do you mean?”
“Exactly what I said.”
“But—"
“I have to go.” Catherine hurries away. She doesn’t even look back as she jumps into her car.
I’m left standing on my porch, confusion swirling through me. What just happened?
It was a risk to share my feelings, I knew that going in. But I didn’t expect her to react like that. I don’t want to be loved. What does she mean by that?
The beach house seems even more dilapidated and empty with Catherine’s departure.
Things had been going so well.
We’d come back to friendly terms after years of being distant. Now I feel the same way I did on graduation day.
My best friend is driving away. And this time, I wasn’t sure if she’d ever be back.
I messed up.
And I don’t know if I can ever fix it.