TWENTY-EIGHT
‘You know this is only the place we work, right?’ Emika jumps out beside him.
‘Yes, but we spend so much time here, I’ve almost forgotten what my actual home looks like.’ He yawns widely. ‘At least we get today as holiday. Maybe everyone will start acting normally again tomorrow.’ He looks accusingly between us.
‘We’re being normal,’ I answer defensively.
‘ Please .’ He snorts. ‘You two have been acting weird the whole way home. Whatever’s going on, deal with it.’
‘We’re just tired,’ Emika protests.
‘If you say so.’ He waves to the second minivan that’s pulled up beside us and then heads off across the car park. ‘See you.’
‘Yeah, so … Bye.’ Emika hurries after him, like she doesn’t want to be left alone with me.
I watch her go and then head towards my own car.
We’ve both been pretending nothing happened ever since I caught up with her in the hotel lobby in Las Vegas.
In some ways it’s a relief because I have no excuse for my behaviour, and explanations will only make me look bad, but I also hate this new atmosphere of tension between us.
It’s bad enough knowing Leif thinks I betrayed him.
I don’t want to see the same expression on her face too.
‘Hey, Ava!’ Kayleigh, one of the marketing assistants, calls after me. ‘Vienna wants a word.’
‘Now?’ I stop by my car.
‘She says it’s important.’
My heart sinks as I look across the parking lot to where Vienna is marching into the building, a phone pressed to her ear.
‘Did she say why?’ My throat feels very dry suddenly.
‘No, just that it won’t take long. Why, what have you been up to?’ Kayleigh starts to smile, then does a double-take when she sees my expression. ‘Whoa, what have you been up to?’
‘Nothing.’ I shake my head quickly. ‘Enjoy the rest of the day.’
‘You too.’
I follow Vienna into the building, my footsteps heavy.
I guess Emika must have told her what she saw at some point on the journey home.
Maybe she emailed her from the airport lounge, where we were sitting in opposite chairs, avoiding each other’s eyes.
It seems out of character for Emika, but I can’t exactly blame her.
She probably thinks Vienna has a right to know.
Which she does. I should have told HR about my relationship with Leif a long time ago.
Now I’m probably about to be told how disappointed everyone is in me, not that it matters any more.
There’s no way I can stay at Rask now. My only hope is that I’ll be allowed to resign rather than be fired.
‘Hi.’ I catch up with Vienna just as she reaches her office. ‘You wanted to see me?’
‘Sit down.’ She waves me in, throwing her coat off at the same time. ‘I’m sure you’re keen to get home so I’ll make this quick. You can probably guess why I want to talk to you.’
‘Yes.’ I perch on the edge of a chair. I’ve already decided I won’t object or try to defend myself when she shouts at me. It’s only fair. Honestly, if she wants to throw the employee handbook at me, I’ll sit here and take it.
‘Because I’ve been hearing a lot of things about you.’
‘A lot?’ I give a startled jolt. Do other people know?
‘And everyone says the same thing. You’re a huge asset to this team, Ava, and we’d be fools to let you go.’ Vienna spreads her hands wide. ‘So your trial period is officially over. I’d like to offer you a permanent contract.’
‘You want me … to stay?’ I feel completely disorientated, like I’ve just blinked and found myself in a different room.
‘Fuck, yes. You work harder than anyone else, you’re a team player and you have great ideas.
Don’t tell the others, but you’re one of the best employees I’ve ever had.
’ She leans forward over her desk. ‘Remember when I hired you, how I said we needed to turn this team around? Well, full disclosure, I didn’t think it could be done.
I had no idea if any of us would have jobs by the end of the year.
Yet, somehow, we’ve done it. Philip Sawyer’s done his worst and we’re still here.
And we just won a fucking GP! Who knows what we can achieve next year?
So I want the best possible team around me, and that includes you. ’
‘Wow.’ I splay a hand across my chest. I’m so touched by her words I can feel a lump in my throat. ‘That’s … I don’t know what to say.’
‘Say you’ll sign and stay,’ Vienna answers emphatically. ‘Say you’ll accept a raise and a better job title. Senior communications manager – how’s that? I’ll even throw in a designated parking spot.’
‘That would be …’ My voice trails away. Amazing , I was going to say, because it would have been amazing.
If I could rewind time to immediately after the Las Vegas GP when I knew how much I wanted to stay at Rask, it would have been perfect.
Then I could have run to the podium and told Leif how sorry I was for the way I’d treated him and pre-empted our whole argument.
But I can’t, and now I feel flattered and heartbroken at the same time.
‘I can’t.’ I dip my chin. ‘Vienna, I’m sorry. I really appreciate the offer, but … I just can’t.’
Her face falls before she rallies again. ‘Well, there’s no need to rush. Take a couple of weeks to decide. After that I’ll need to start advertising for your replacement, but until then …’ She winks at me. ‘Pick an office. Any office you want. Except this one.’
I get up and walk to reception in a daze.
I was so sure that I was about to be sacked.
Instead I’ve been offered a better job, with more money and responsibility than anything Quezada will probably offer me.
But it’s too late for me to accept because I’ve already ruined everything with Leif and there’s no way we can keep working together now.
Even if we keep things professional, the thought of being around him is too painful.
I’ve become expert at burying my feelings over the years, but I know I won’t be able to repress that. I’ve no choice but to move on.
I step outside and let Rask’s front door slam shut behind me.
‘WAIT, DON’T TELL ME!’ Dan opens his front door wearing a navy fleece dressing-gown and holding a bowl of cereal. ‘Alice? Annie? I know I recognize you from somewhere …’
‘Haha.’ I shuffle my feet. ‘I’m sorry I haven’t visited in a while.’
‘And you thought 7 a.m. on a Monday morning was the best time to fix that?’ He chuckles. ‘It’s OK. You’ve been busy.’
‘I still should have come after Hailey … you know.’
‘Flew off to Australia and forgot about me?’
‘Right.’ I give him a sympathetic look. ‘So I know it’s early, but –’
‘Actually, you’re in luck. I’m working from home today.’ He steps aside. ‘Come on in.’
‘Thanks. How are you doing?’
‘Better than I was. Congratulations on Las Vegas, by the way.’
‘Did you watch?’
‘No, but I saw some clips online.’ He leads me through to his kitchen. ‘So when did you get back?’
‘About an hour ago.’ I look around quizzically. ‘Have you decorated?’
‘Yes. I’ve wanted to do it for ages, but Hailey and I could never agree on a colour scheme. Now I only have myself to please, so …’ He shrugs. ‘Silver linings, I guess.’
‘It’s very blue.’
‘I like blue.’ He puts his cereal down and reaches for the kettle. ‘Tea?’
‘Please.’ I hop on to a stool. ‘Have you heard from her?’
‘No, but according to Instagram she loves Melbourne.’ He makes a face. ‘I’ve decided to restrict her posts for a while.’
‘That’s probably a good idea.’
‘Yep. So …’ He gives me a narrow look as he braces his hands on the counter between us. ‘What’s the matter?’
I try not to flinch. ‘What do you mean?’
‘Because you look like crap, no offence, and you clearly haven’t been home yet.’
I glare at him. I admit the combination of stress, a prolonged hangover and jet lag means I’m not looking my best, but I don’t think I look so bad in my travel outfit of baggy jeans and a grey Henley.
‘Your house is on my way home, so I thought I’d pop in, that’s all.
And can’t I look like crap and still want to visit you? ’
‘Nice try, but I know you. Something’s wrong.’
‘OK, fine.’ I fling my arms out. ‘Leif and I broke up.’
‘Shit. Sorry.’ His brow furrows. ‘What happened?’
‘I messed up. I couldn’t make up my mind between staying at Rask with him or taking a job with Quezada in Spain, so I kind of …
ignored him for two months.’ I wince at how awful it sounds.
‘Then he found out the reason.’ I give a brittle-sounding laugh.
‘And the ironic thing is that I’d just decided to stay with him at Rask. ’
‘Really?’ Dan draws his head back. ‘What about your plan?’
‘I changed it.’
‘Ava, that’s brilliant!’ He breaks into a wide smile. ‘You have no idea how much I hated the plan.’
‘Excuse me?’ I’m offended. ‘It was a great plan! It helped me get back on my feet.’
‘I know.’ He raises a hand. ‘Hey, I’m not saying it wasn’t effective. I mean, you’ve gone from A to B to C, doing everything perfectly for the past few years. And maybe it was what you needed at first. It just got a little bit predictable.’
‘Are you calling me boring?’
‘Not you personally . Only your approach to life. You know, it’s possible to be too in control.’
‘Well, all I know is that I would have been a lot happier if I’d stuck to being boring and predictable. If I’d kept to the plan, I wouldn’t be looking like crap! Thanks for that, by the way.’
‘Yeah … sorry.’ He scratches his neck. ‘So what are you going to do?’
‘What do you think?’ I drape myself across the counter, resting my cheek on the cold marble surface. ‘There’s nothing I can do except go back to the plan you hate so much. I can’t stay at Rask with Leif now. He broke up with me because I shut him out and he says he can’t trust me any more.’
‘He said what?’ Dan’s expression turns furious. ‘The insensitive asshole! After what you went through, how can he expect –’
‘He doesn’t know,’ I interrupt. ‘I never told him what happened.’
There’s a heavy pause. ‘Why not?’
‘Because I don’t talk about it any more.’
‘It kind of sounds like you need to. I know it won’t be easy, but if you want to mend things with Leif, you need to explain why Quezada means so much to you.’
‘I can’t.’
‘Look, Ava …’ He rests his arms across the counter beside mine.
‘You don’t want to end up with regrets. If there had been any chance I could have saved my relationship with Hailey through a conversation , even one that was painful –’ he gives me a meaningful look – ‘I would have taken it in a second.’
‘What if it’s too late?’ I lift my head tentatively off the counter. ‘What if I tell him and he still doesn’t want me?’
‘It’s a risk.’ He nods. ‘But you’re tough. You’ve picked yourself up before – you can do it again. Even a broken heart heals eventually. Just look at me.’ His lips curve ruefully.
‘You know, you’re pretty wise for a big brother.’ I smile back. ‘I promise I didn’t just come here to cry on your shoulder. I really did want to see how you were.’
‘I know. And you can stay as long as you want. If you need company or you don’t want to go home yet, it’s fine.’
‘Thank you.’ I sniff. ‘Do you really think that telling Leif the truth might make a difference?’
‘It’s worth a try. I mean, if you won’t do it for yourself, do it for me. It might be cool to have a Formula 1 driver as a brother-in-law.’
‘You don’t even watch F1.’
‘I’ll start.’ He puts a hand on my arm and squeezes. ‘Now, let me make that tea.’