Chapter 15
Clare
Moving On
“Clare, sweetheart, you do not have to hover around us.”
I tucked the pillow behind my mother’s back and smiled. “With Tim gone, I’m all you’ve got.”
“We have each other,” Dad said from across the room.
Turning to face him, I put my hands on my hips. “And you’ve only been home from the hospital a week. I don’t have anything else to do or anywhere to be. I like taking care of you both.”
I picked up the tumbler from the coffee table and headed into the kitchen.
“Why does it feel like you’re hiding here?” my mother called out.
Ignoring the ache in my chest, I forced myself to laugh. “Hiding from what?”
“More like from who?” Mom added.
After filling up her water, I made my way back into the living room. “I’m not hiding from anything or anyone.”
Mom raised a brow as she asked, “Then why has this Wes called you more than a dozen times, and each time you send it to voicemail?”
“He’s no one, just a friend I was helping with something.”
“By the look on your face each time you see his name, I highly doubt he’s no one,” Dad said.
I felt the tears stinging the back of my eyes and I quickly turned away and picked up a pillow on the chair and fluffed it.
“Clare,” Mom asked as she reached for my hand, “do you want to talk about it?”
Shaking my head, I focused on the pattern of the chair. Small circles with a little feather design. The chair was an antique that had been my great grandmother’s. It looked old, but was the sturdiest piece of furniture in the whole house.
“Clare bear,” my father softly said as he came up and turned me around. The moment I looked up at him, I started to cry.
Dad drew me into his arms and held me so tenderly as I cried into his chest. The smell of his soap filled my senses, and it made me cry even harder.
“Sit down, come on. Talk to me and your mother.”
Dad gently pulled me from him and sat me down in the chair I had been staring at and joined my mother on the sofa.
I wiped at the tears and forced myself to smile. “It’s nothing. You two were in a serious car accident, and the last thing you need to worry about is my problems.”
“We want to hear about your problems,” Mom said. “We’re your parents, Clare.”
I sniffled and then ran my shirt sleeve under my nose. “Wes Ward, he’s Rory’s brother-in-law. The first time I saw him, something inside of me came to life. We bickered like cats and dogs from day one, and for the longest time I thought he didn’t like me.”
“But he does?”
I shrugged. “He’s in love with his ex-girlfriend, though, and asked me to pretend like I was dating him to make her jealous. I don’t know why I went along with it. She’s engaged.”
“Oh, Clare,” my mother said, a disappointed look on her face.
“I know it was wrong, but a part of me wanted to spend time with him. It’s so pathetic and sad. I don’t know what I thought was going to happen. I mean, I figured they’d end up back together and I’d feel like an idiot. It’s just…we shared these moments together, and I started to think that maybe he…”
I closed my eyes and focused on not crying like a fool.
“Moments?” Mom asked.
Focusing back on my parents, I replied, “Yes. We went to a cooking class that Mandy was going to be at, but the entire time Wes didn’t even bother looking over at her. We had so much fun, and then he got sick, and I took care of him. He kissed me at his parents’ wedding anniversary party the night of your accident. And when I finally left the hospital, he took me to his place, and we ate Italian and watched Hallmark movies. He told me he wanted to kiss me. Then he did the most amazing thing. He held me all night while I slept. He didn’t try anything or make a move; he just held me.”
My mother and father both smiled.
“The next morning it felt like something had changed between us. But then Mandy showed up at his apartment. She said she wanted him back. I went into his bedroom to give them some privacy, and decided I couldn’t take hearing her insult me any longer.”
Dad sat up. “What do you mean, she insulted you?”
With a one-shoulder shrug, I said, “She basically said I wasn’t his type, I was beneath her and not good enough for Wes. So I grabbed my bag, and when I walked out into the kitchen, they were kissing.”
“Oh, sweetheart.”
I wiped a tear away. “He pushed her away, and I know he hadn’t seen me. He said it wasn’t what it looked like, but she was what he wanted. It was part of his plan? He’s still in love with her and she’s beautiful. Tall, a body any woman would want. I can’t compete with her.”
“Now hold on one second,” my father said. “You are beautiful, inside and out, Clare Monroe.”
I smiled. “You’re biased, Daddy.”
“No, I have eyes.”
Rolling mine, I dropped back in the chair. “It doesn’t matter. She told Wes she wanted him back.”
“Then why is the boy calling you multiple times a day, Clare?” Mom asked. “Why won’t you at least talk to him?”
“Because, Mom,” I said as I stood. “I don’t want to hear him tell me he’s back with her. I don’t want to hear him tell me how sorry he is, or how happy he is that he got her back. I don’t think I could take that. I...I…” Squeezing my eyes shut, I softly said, “I let myself fall in love with him.”
“Clare bear,” Daddy whispered as he took my hand in his.
When I finally opened my eyes, both of my parents were looking at me. “I don’t want to see or talk to him because it’s just going to hurt.”
“May I offer you a piece of advice?” Dad asked.
“Yes.”
“Talk to him, Clare. If you don’t, you’ll regret it the rest of your life.”
“We don’t have anything to talk about, Daddy.”
My father looked at my mother, who slowly let out a sigh. “I’m going to side with your father, Clare. Talk to him.”
I slowly shook my head. “I didn’t realize I was in love with him until I saw him kissing Mandy. The pain I felt in my chest.” I rubbed at the still-present ache. “I don’t want to feel it again.”
My father went to talk, and I quickly stood. “Please, Mom and Dad, I don’t want to talk about Wes anymore. I’m going to go to the store and stock you up on some food. Text me if you want anything specific.”
Before they could say a word, I grabbed my coat and purse and hurried out of the house.
? ? ?
“Hi, Clare!” Ruby said as I walked up to the counter to place my order. “Chai frap with soy no whip?”
I nodded. “I’m that boring, am I?”
Ruby winked. “Christmas is in a week, any plans?”
“No, not really. My parents were supposed to go out of town, but they were in an accident. They’re okay now, but they want to keep things quiet. What about you?”
“I’m spending Christmas Eve with my boyfriend and his family. Then I’ll be with my family, of course, on Christmas Day. Rich is going to join me. He loves my family!”
Smiling, I tapped my phone to pay for my tea. “That’s nice.”
“Here you go, Clare!” Todd said as he set my chai frap on the counter.
“Thanks!” I replied as I got my drink and headed out the door calling out, “See you guys tomorrow.”
Snow was lightly falling, and I could have taken an Uber or taxi to work, but my favorite coffee shop was only a block away, and I needed the fresh air. Once I was at work, warmed up and settled at my desk, I stared at my computer screen. It had been two weeks since I’d last seen or even spoken to Wes. I hadn’t seen Rory at all because I was worried I’d see Wes, and I wasn’t ready to pretend like I was okay.
“Clare?”
I looked up to see Autumn standing in the doorway of my office. Quickly standing and making my way around the desk, I held out my arms. “Autumn! What in the world are you doing here?”
We hugged and I motioned for her to sit down in one of the two chairs in front of my desk.
“Rory and I have been worried about you.”
Raising my brows, I asked, “Why?”
Autumn gave me a look that screamed really? “Your parents’ accident. And Rory said she thinks something happened between you and Wes.”
I tried not to react to his name.
“My parents are fine, doing great, actually. They’ve both really bounced back quickly and are healing up great. They’re not going out of town for Christmas, and Tim is going to be coming back home for Christmas with Laura, his girlfriend. Mom and Dad want a low-key Christmas, so we’ll probably just do breakfast or something. Tim and Laura talked about going to Salem or to the coast for a few days.”
“And you? What are you going to do?”
Frowning, I answered, “The same thing I do every year. Stay home and read a good book.”
“Rory said she texted and invited you to spend Christmas with her in-laws.”
I laughed. “That’s not happening.”
“So something did happen between you and Wes. Do you want to talk about it?”
“Nope.”
Sighing, Autumn reached for my hand. “Rory told me about the fake dating and Wes trying to win his ex-back. She said Wes hasn’t been himself for the last two weeks.”
Curiosity slammed into me. “What do you mean?”
She shrugged. “She didn’t really say, other than Finn told her he is very moody and seems depressed.”
“Well, he’s back with his ex, so I doubt he’s depressed. And I’ve been around Mandy, she’s a pill, so I’m not surprised he’s moody.”
Autumn chewed nervously on her lip before she asked, “How far did you guys go?”
I debated how much I wanted to say. A part of me wanted to just forget it happened at all. It was stupid of me to go along with Wes’s plan in the first place. I liked him, and I knew in the end I’d be the one getting hurt.
“We kissed, that was all. I thought maybe he was starting to have feelings for me, but I read it wrong.”
Autumn perked up slightly. “Rory said you two were kissing and it seemed pretty intense.”
I shrugged. “I thought we might have had a connection. I’m not sure how much Rory told you about Mandy.”
Blushing, Autumn said, “Just what I said earlier, about the plan to win her back.”
I felt my own face heat. “Then you know I went along with it like an idiot.”
“No, Clare, you weren’t an idiot. You liked Wes and you wanted to spend time with him. Everyone saw the way you would look at him.”
My eyes went wide. “What?”
She laughed slightly. “You wear your heart on your sleeve, sweet friend, at least you do when it comes to him. Did you tell him how you really felt?”
I let out a bark of laughter. “Why would I do that? He’s in love with another woman.”
“Yet he kissed you. Stayed with you when your mom and dad were in the ICU. Rory said she truly believes Wes has feelings for you more than friendship.”
Pushing off the desk, I walked around it and sat in my chair. “Well, when Mandy showed up at his apartment, with me there, and informed Wes she wanted him back, I walked out and saw them kissing. No, Autumn, he doesn’t have feelings for me like that. I just want to forget about all of that. I need to move on.”
I started moving papers around on my desk. “You don’t have any single guy friends, do you?”
She smiled. “I do, as a matter of fact. Charles and I are going out tonight for dinner to this new seafood place down at the harbor. His best friend is single and hot as hell. He’s a police officer and a great guy. You should totally come out to dinner with us tonight and let us introduce you guys.”
A part of me, nearly all of me, wanted to say no. I’d rather go home and eat some Ben amp; Jerry’s ice cream. But that small percentage of me that truly wanted to forget all about Weston Ward screamed for me to agree to the blind date.
“Come on, Clare. It’s just dinner. If you two don’t hit it off, then what’s the harm in it?”
Blowing out a breath, I gave in. “Fine. But you promise not to push us together?”
Autumn lifted her hand and made an imaginary X motion over her heart with her finger. “I promise!”
She stood and I followed her lead.
“I’ll text you everything. We can either pick you up or you can meet us there.”
“How about I meet you. Just text me the time and address and I’ll be there.”
Autumn hugged me, then pushed me back some as she let her eyes roam over me. “Maybe freshen up your makeup tonight before you come out.”
My eyes went wide. “Are you saying I look bad?”
She screwed up her face. “No, you look…tired.”
Before I could say anything, she spun and called back over her shoulder. “You’re going to love him! See you later!”
An hour later my phone buzzed with a text from Autumn.
Autumn: Seven tonight at The Barking Crab. Jason is looking forward to meeting you.
For a hot second I nearly backed out. Instead, I typed back my reply and hit send. It was time to move on, even if my heart felt bruised…it wasn’t shattered. At least, that was what I kept telling myself.
Me: I’ll be there! Looking forward to it.