Chapter 16
Wes
Hangovers and Christmas Trees
The banging on my door did nothing but piss me off. I wanted to be alone, and whoever was currently pounding their fist to get my attention was going to get an earful.
Ripping the door open, I groaned when I saw Angie standing there.
“For fuck’s sake, Angie, why are you pounding on my front door?”
“Because you’ve been holed up in this apartment for a week now, Wes. Finn called me and said he’s worried. You haven’t even been to work. What in the hell is going on?”
Turning, I walked to the kitchen, opened the fridge, and grabbed a beer.
“Why don’t you go take a shower, change into some clothes, and let’s go get something to eat. You look like you haven’t had a decent meal in days. Have you lost weight?”
“Leave me alone, Angie.”
I dropped onto the sofa and unmuted the TV. Angie walked up next to me and laughed.
“You’re watching the Hallmark Channel? Holy shit, it’s worse than Finn thought,” she said as she picked up the remote and muted the show. “What happened, Wes?”
I took a long drink of my beer, set it on the table, and looked directly at my younger sister. “What happened?”
“Yes, what happened? And I should go ahead and warn you, Mom said she is going to come over if you don’t answer her phone calls soon.”
My hand scrubbed down my face as I cursed.
“Exactly. Let’s get it all out in the open so your baby sister can help you fix it. I’m going to assume you fucked up with Clare. Rory said Clare has been avoiding her like the plague.”
“She doesn’t want to risk seeing me. She won’t take any of my phone calls, won’t answer my texts, and I even tried to go to her job, and the fucking security guys wouldn’t even let me past the lobby.”
I looked at Angie “Did you know Clare worked for the Boston Red Sox?”
She nodded. “I did know that.”
Frowning, I said, “I didn’t for the past year. I never took the fucking time to get to know her in the right way.”
Angie moved the beer out of the way and sat on the coffee table. “So, you and Clare were an item? Rory said you were pretend dating to make Mandy jealous. My biggest question is, why in the hell would you ever want that woman back? None of us could stand her, Wes. She treated you like shit, broke your heart, and then used you.”
I blew out a frustrated breath. “I don’t know, Angie. I was confused. I think a part of me never wanted her back, but maybe I wanted her to want me so I could push her away like she did me. I don’t know. All I know is what started out as fake dating turned to me wanting to spend my time with Clare. Her smile and her laughter make me feel all fucking warm inside. I like talking to her, being with her. I was going to tell her that morning that I didn’t want to try and win Mandy back. That I wanted to date her. For real. I was going to tell her I wanted her. Then Mandy showed up and started talking about wanting me back. Clare went into my bedroom, but I know she heard all the things Mandy was saying. She insulted Clare.”
Autumn sat up straight. “How?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know, said some bullshit about how Clare wasn’t good enough for me or something like that. Then Mandy threw herself at me and kissed me. Clare saw the kiss and assumed it was two-sided. I tried to go after her, but she was so angry she wouldn’t listen. Then she told me she wanted me to leave her alone.”
My sister’s mouth dropped open. “And you did?”
“No! I called her every day. Even when I knew she was dealing with her parents, I called her when I woke up, at lunchtime, dinner, before I went to bed. I texted her. Nothing. She doesn’t want to see or talk to me.”
Angie hit me on the side of the head.
“What the fuck, Angie! Why did you hit me?”
“Because you’re an idiot, Wes! Obviously. Do you have feelings for Mandy?”
“No, and I told her as much. After Clare left, I came back and told Mandy she needed to leave, that I didn’t have any feelings for her and never would. That it was Clare I wanted, not her. And to enjoy her life with Ron and her jazz music.”
“Okay, well, at least you took care of that problem. Now we have to get you and Clare together.”
“How? I already told you, she won’t talk to me.”
Angie stood and started to pace back and forth. “We need a plan.”
“No, I’m done with plans.”
“Not a deceiving kind of plan. One that gets you talking to Clare. You need to sit down and tell her how you feel, Wes.”
She paused and tilted her head as she regarded me. “How do you feel? I mean, you said you want her, but is it more than sexual?”
I rubbed at that familiar ache that had been in my chest since those elevator doors closed.
“I don’t know. I know I’ve never really felt this way before. I mean, I know what being in love feels like, but with Clare this all feels…different. When I’m with her I feel happy and content. These last two weeks with her not speaking to me, I feel…”
“Lost?” Angie asked.
My gaze met my sister’s, and I felt my heart jerk in my chest. It all made sense. I nodded. “Yes. I don’t feel complete, I feel like someone reached into my chest and fucking ripped out my heart.”
Angie’s hand came up to her mouth. “Oh my God, Wes, you’re in love. You love Clare.”
I didn’t want to deny it, but I was also scared shitless to admit it. The feelings I felt for Clare were strong, that much I knew. I more than cared about her.
“She’s so much better than me. She’s out of my league, and I’m not sure I deserve her. And the worse part of all is that I hurt her, Angie. The look on her face when she saw Mandy kiss me. Then in that elevator she looked so fucking hurt, and I’m the one who did that to her.”
Angie sat back down on the table across from me and grabbed my hands. “Wes, fight for her. Don’t let her push you away.”
“I don’t know what to do to make her believe that I don’t want Mandy.”
“We’ll think of something. Come on, we’ll think better if we grab something to eat.”
I got up, took a quick shower, and changed.
“What’s within walking distance?” Angie asked as we rode the elevator down to the lobby. “I’m in the mood for seafood.”
“The Barking Crab.”
Angie clapped. “Yes! Let’s go there!”
? ? ?
The second we walked into the restaurant, I felt her. I also had a gut feeling I needed to leave.
“Angie, let’s go somewhere else,” I said as I glanced around the large open room.
“What are you talking about? You suggested this place.”
“Good evening, a table for two?” the hostess asked as she reached for two menus.
Before I had a chance to say anything, Angie replied, “Yes, please!”
“Follow me, please.”
I stayed back so that Angie could go first. As we walked through the restaurant, I glanced around and was relieved not to see Clare. Pulling out the chair for my sister, I realized I had been holding my breath. I slowly let it out as I took my own seat.
Angie thanked me, then the hostess, as she took the menu offered to her. When I sat down, I did the same.
“Your waiter will be Lonnie, and he’ll be here in a moment to get your drinks started.”
Angie and I both thanked her.
“What’s good here to eat?”
“Everything,” I replied, suddenly feeling like someone was watching me. Every damn nerve in my body told me to keep looking at the menu, to not look around. Ignoring my gut instinct, I glanced to my left and instantly saw her.
“Clare,” I whispered as our eyes locked.
“What?” Angie asked.
“She’s here, and she’s with someone.”
My sister let out a small gasp and followed my gaze. “Oh no,” she said as she quickly turned back to me. “Do you know that guy she’s with?”
I shook my head and watched as Clare pulled her gaze from me and focused on the guy sitting next to her. He was good looking and seemed to be fixated on Clare. Who could blame him.
“I’m sorry we didn’t leave when you wanted to,” Angie said.
Lonnie walked up and greeted us. “Hi there. What can I get the two of you to drink?”
Clare laughed at something her date said, and I swore it felt like someone pushed a knife straight into my heart. I abruptly stood, Angie following me.
“I’m sorry, Lonnie, we have to go,” Angie said as she smiled at the confused waiter.
“Um, okay. Is everything all right? Can we do something?” Lonnie asked as I grabbed my coat and started for the exit. I could hear Angie apologizing to him as she attempted to catch up with me.
Once I was outside, I drew in a deep breath, ignoring how the cold December air burned my lungs.
“Put your coat on, Wes,” Angie said as she tugged on my arm.
I did as she said. She took my arm and we started to walk away from the restaurant.
“I’m going to go home, Angie.”
“Okay. We can order delivery.”
I stopped and looked at my little sister. Those bluish-green eyes looked up at me with concern. “Honestly, sis, I’d rather be alone.”
“No, Wes, I’m not going to let you sit in your place all alone and dissect what we just saw. It might not have been a date.”
“You saw Autumn and her boyfriend. It was a double date.”
“So what if it was? That doesn’t mean she doesn’t still have feelings for you.”
I pushed my hand through my hair. “I’m going home. Let me walk you to your car.”
“Wes, please don’t shut me out. We were going to talk about a plan.”
Shaking my head, I exhaled and felt my entire body sag in defeat. “No more plans, Angie. A fucking plan is what got me into this damn mess. I’m tired. Let’s get you to your car.”
We walked in silence to my sister’s car, which was parked a block away from my place.
“Wes, call her again.”
Smiling, I nodded and held her door open. “Be careful driving home.”
Once she was in, I leaned in and kissed her cheek. “I love you, Angie. Text me when you get home.”
“Are you sure you want to be alone? I can stay.”
“I’m fine. Do me a favor, tell Mom you saw me and I’m fine. Just tell her I’m busy with work and I’ll call her soon.”
She frowned. “Wes, I don’t feel right leaving you.”
“I’m fine. Don’t forget,” I said as I stepped away from the car. “Text me when you get home.”
I shut the door and quickly started down the block toward the liquor store where I bought enough booze to numb all the emotions swimming around inside of me.
? ? ?
The sound of my phone alarm going off felt like someone had taken a hammer and started hitting me over the head. I blindly reached for it, only to knock my phone off the side table.
“Fucking hell,” I grumbled as I forced my hungover ass to get out of bed so I could turn the damn buzzing sound off.
Once it was quiet again, I went to lie back down, only to have my phone ring. When I saw it was Finn’s name, I nearly sent it to voicemail. Instead, I answered.
“What do you want, Finn?”
“Dude, we’ve been trying to get a hold of you for the last two days. Mom was about to come into town when Angie told her she’d had dinner with you last night. What in the hell is going on?”
I scrubbed my hand down my face and laughed. “What’s going on? You want to know what’s going on, little brother? I fucked up. There, does that make you happy to hear?”
“Wes,” Finn said, but I cut him off.
“No, I thought I wanted Mandy while completely ignoring how I really felt about Clare. I used Clare to make Mandy jealous, and the whole fucking time I was falling in love with Clare, but too stupid to see it until it was too late. And the best part, or actually is it the worst part? Fuckin’ hell, I don’t even know, but Mandy wants to get back together.”
“But you don’t want her back, right?”
“No. Hell, I don’t know, maybe I should take her back. Looks like Clare’s moved on.”
“What do you mean, Clare’s moved on?” Finn asked. It was then I heard Rory in the background saying something.
“I saw her out on a date, Finn. She’s fine…not the least bit bothered, so I guess it’s time for me to do the same.”
“That’s not true, Wes,” Rory said. “She’s been avoiding me, and Autumn said she went on the blind date, but after she saw you at the restaurant, she excused herself and went home. Wes, you need to sober your ass up, and if you truly, honest to God, have feelings for Clare…go after her. Tell her.”
I laughed, then instantly regretted it when the pain in my temples zipped through my head. “I’ve been trying to call her, Rory. I’ve texted, I’ve left voicemails, she won’t talk to me.”
Rory sighed. “This is what Angie was trying to do, help you figure out a way to get Clare to listen to you.”
“Dude, you need to do like a grand gesture,” Finn stated.
“It doesn’t have to be grand,” Rory said. “Wes, you just have to be honest with her. Tell her how you feel. If you like her, and want to see where things go, tell her.”
I dropped back onto the bed. “I think I love her. No, no, I don’t think, I do; I know I do. I might have loved her the first moment she opened that spitfire mouth of hers.”
The line went silent, and for a second, I thought they had hung up.
“Hello?”
“We’re here. Just processing what you said,” Finn said. “Wes, get in the shower, make some coffee and sober up.”
“Why? What reason do I have? It’s almost Christmas, and if I want to get drunk, I can and will.”
“Two reasons, Christmas is in two days, and if you miss it, Mom’s going to be taking things into her own hands. The second reason, you don’t really want to wait another minute before you tell Clare how you feel. Get your head out of your ass and it will come to you what you need to do to show her how you feel.”
And just like that, the fog cleared, I instantly sobered up and stood. “I need to get a Christmas tree.”
“What?” Rory and Finn said at the same time.
“A Christmas tree, I need to go get one.”
Rory cleared her voice and tried not to sound condescending. “Um, are you sure you want to decorate right now? I mean, don’t you want to get Clare back?”
Smiling, I quickly made my way to the bathroom, stripping out of the clothes I’d had on for way too long. I turned on the shower and said, “Trust me, Rory. I have a plan. I need to go.”
Before either one of them could say another word, I hung up, slipped into the shower, and for the first time in the last two weeks, I felt a sense of hope.