Chapter 17
Clare
Is This Really Happening?
The light knock on my office door had me glancing up.
“Hey, Jess, what’s up?”
Jess was the receptionist for the main lobby.
She walked in and handed me an envelope. “A good-looking guy dropped this off for you. He said it was urgent you got it right away, so I brought it up myself.”
I raised my brows as I stood and took the envelope from her. “What did he look like?”
A dreamy look appeared on her face. “Brown hair, scruffy beard, like he’s not sure he wants to grow one or not. He was hot.”
I instantly brought up the image of Wes in the restaurant. He had looked like he hadn’t slept in days and had grown a slight beard. The sight of him had almost been too much, and I had to keep myself from getting up and walking over to him and Angie. Then when I saw them get up and leave, my heart fell to the floor. Was he avoiding me, or was it just as painful for him to see me as it was for me to see him.
“Did he say anything?” I asked Jess.
“Just that he needed you to have this as soon as possible and that it was urgent. Do you know who it was?”
Smiling, I ran my finger over my name in Wes’s handwriting. “Yes, it’s a friend of mine.”
“Is he single?”
My smile turned into a frown, and I looked up at her. “I don’t know.”
It was true, I didn’t know what had happened between Wes and Mandy. If I had listened to the plethora of voicemails or read his texts, I might know.
“I’ve got to get back,” Jess said, turning and making her way out of my office.
“Thank you, Jess. For bringing this up.”
She tossed a smile back at me from over her shoulder. “Sure thing!”
Opening the envelope, I pulled out a soft blue piece of paper. It was in Wes’s handwriting and simply had his address, seven thirty, and the words:
Please join me for our decorating adventure. Love, Wes
Drawing my brows together, I stared at the piece of paper. “A decorating adventure? What does that even mean?”
I slipped the paper back into the envelope and placed it on my desk before I sat back down. The rest of the afternoon was spent trying to focus on my work when all I kept doing was glancing at the envelope. I was kicking myself for deleting all of Wes’s voicemails and texts.
When I couldn’t take it anymore, I grabbed my phone and texted Rory.
Me: Are you excited for your first Christmas as a mom?
She responded back almost instantly.
Rory: I am so excited. Wait until you see the adorable outfit I got for Karleigh!
Chewing on my lower lip, I typed out my next message, not sure if I should ask about Wes or not.
Me: What are the family plans for the holiday? Mom and Dad want to keep it simple, we’re doing breakfast, then they would like to spend the day just watching movies.
Rory: You should come with us to Finn’s parents’ house. Everyone will be there, and I know Jennifer and Mike would love to have you there.
If Wes was going to be there, and Mandy was back with him, there was no way Rory would have invited me. Unless Wes wasn’t going to be there?
I shook the thoughts away.
Me: Thank you, but I’ll probably just stay home and watch a marathon of the Hallmark Channel.
Rory: ? We’ll miss you…all of us. That includes Wes, who hasn’t been the same these last two weeks.
Me: He’s not with Mandy?
Rory: God, no! I wish you would call him, Clare.
Me: He dropped off a note for me at work today. I’m going over there this evening.
Rory: !!!!! I’m glad! You two really need to talk. If you want to talk to me before you go over, best friend to best friend, you know I’m here for you. Always.
Smiling, I wanted to hug my phone.
Me: Thanks. I’m sorry I’ve kept you at a distance and haven’t been truthful to you and Autumn about how I felt about Wes. A part of me wasn’t sure myself.
Rory: Trust me…I’m not one to judge. I have to go…call me later, okay? Good luck tonight!
One look at the clock on my office wall, and I decided I was going to leave work early. It was a Friday after all, and the day before Christmas Eve. I deserved to leave early.
I finished up what I was working on, shut down my computer, and grabbed my coat and purse. I wished everyone a happy holiday as I made my way down to the lobby. A light snow had started to fall, and I pulled the hood up on my coat.
“Happy holidays, Jess!” I called out as I walked by the receptionist’s desk.
“You, too, Clare!”
For the first time in two weeks, I had a smile on my face as I walked home while snow fell, turning the city I loved so much into a winter wonderland. Grinning, I dared to let myself think something amazing was going to happen this evening.
? ? ?
When the taxi pulled up to Wes’s apartment I drew in a deep breath and stared at the building.
“Miss? Are we at the right location?” the driver asked.
I jerked my gaze from the front door to the taxi driver. “Yes, I’m sorry. Thank you.”
“Thank you. Happy holidays!”
Opening the door, I looked back at him. “Happy holidays.”
The door to the building opened, and I smiled at the familiar doorman as I made my way in. My heart started to beat faster the closer I got to Wes’s floor. By the time I stood in front of his door, I felt like I couldn’t pull any air into my lungs.
I closed my eyes, drew in a deep breath, then pushed it all out as I reached up and knocked.
The door opened and my knees went weak at the sight before me. Wes stood in jeans, a black long-sleeve shirt, and a Santa hat. He looked both adorable and hot as hell at the same damn time. He had also shaved, but I could see a five o’clock shadow appearing. My fingers itched to touch his face.
Moving the door open wider, he motioned for me to come in. “Thank you for coming, I’m so glad you’re here, Clare.”
When I walked by him, I had to fight the urge to draw in his fresh clean scent. Then I was hit with a delicious smell.
“What is that heavenly smell?” I asked.
“Roast. I put it in the crockpot earlier today,” he said as he reached up and helped take my coat off.
“You made a roast?” I asked with a smile.
He winked and my heart tumbled over itself. “I did, with a little help from my mom.”
I watched as Wes hung up my coat. I had already pulled off my gloves and hat and tucked them into my coat pocket.
Glancing around the room, my breath caught in my throat at what I saw.
“You have a Christmas tree?”
He chuckled. “Can’t have a decorating party without one. What do you think about the spot? I thought that corner was a good place for it.”
Making my way to the tree, I stared down at the boxes of decorations. “Where did you get all of the decorations?”
Wes walked over to where I was standing, a dish towel now over his shoulder. Lord, he looked so freaking handsome.
“While I was trying to find a tree, which let me tell you wasn’t easy two days before Christmas, I enlisted some help from Joe to get decorations.”
“Joe?” I asked, turning to look directly at him. “The doorman?”
Wes laughed. “Yes! He had today off, but when I offered to pay him handsomely for his time, he turned into a Christmas Elf pretty damn fast. He just kept bringing in bags of decorations.”
My hand came up to my mouth to keep from laughing.
“Do you like the tree?”
“It’s a beautiful tree, Wes.”
He beamed. “The roast still has about thirty minutes. How about we get this decoration party started?”
I nodded and reached down to pick up a box of blue bulbs. “Blue and white?”
Wes blushed and looked at the tree as he spoke. “You said once you always wanted to decorate a tree in your favorite color.”
“How did you know blue was my favorite color?” I asked.
Winking, he replied, “I paid attention to the things you’ve said.”
I tried to remember if or when we ever had a conversation about my favorite color, and nothing came to mind.
“Do you have hooks for the bulbs?”
Wes handed me a box and I opened it and started to put hooks on the bulbs.
Handing me a beer, Wes sat down on the floor and grabbed some of the white ornaments. It was then I noticed this was the first time I’d ever truly seen him so relaxed.
I softly cleared my throat and said, “I’m sorry I just left and didn’t let you explain anything.”
Wes set the box down. “That morning I was going to tell you I didn’t want to stick with our plan. That I didn’t want Mandy back…I only wanted you. I think a part of me always wanted you. It took me a bit but I realized that I’ve been attracted to you, Clare, since the first time I saw you.”
My eyes went wide. “I didn’t think you liked me.”
He laughed. “Maybe that was me pushing you away because you made me feel something I hadn’t ever felt. It scared me.”
Tilting my head, I regarded him. “You were mean to me because you liked me? Are we in second grade?”
He chuckled again. “They do say guys take longer to grow up.”
His hand rubbed at the back of his neck as he looked at the tree, then at me. “I loved every second we spent together, Clare. From you taking care of me when I was sick to making pasta together. And that night, when I held you in my arms, I knew in the depths of my soul that I wanted to fall asleep every night for the rest of my life with you in my arms. I wanted to tell you all of that that morning before Mandy showed up. I didn’t kiss her, Clare. I swear I didn’t. And I pushed her away the second she started to kiss me.”
“I know,” I softly whispered.
“Why did you not answer any of my calls or texts, then?” Wes asked.
I swallowed the lump in my throat and drew in a slow, deep breath. “The whole reason I agreed to do that plan of yours was to spend time with you. I kept telling myself I was going to get hurt, but being with you was worth it. I heard all the things Mandy was saying about me, and I guess I thought maybe she was right.”
Wes stood, reached for my hands, and pulled me up. “I never meant to hurt you, Clare. That is the last thing I would ever want to do. I hope you know that. And nothing she said was true. I’m the one who isn’t good enough for you, sweetheart.”
I tried to speak, but no words would come out.
“I’m sorry I was an idiot, and I couldn’t see what was right in front of my face. Or maybe I did, and I was too much of a coward to acknowledge it.”
Smiling, I replied, “You were an idiot.”
Wes tossed his head back and laughed. “Let’s get this tree decorated. I need it to be ready to go for later.”
“What’s later?” I asked.
With a grin that made my insides melt, he replied, “You’ll have to wait and see.”
Wes ended up putting on Nat King Cole’s Christmas album as we decorated the tree. We took a break and ate the delicious roast, then quickly got back to decorating the tree. When we were finished, we both stood back and stared at the beautiful creation we had made.
“It’s beautiful,” I whispered as Wes turned off the lights, then turned on the tree.
He took my hand in his and drew my back to his front as we looked at the Christmas tree. “It is beautiful.”
I dropped my head back against his body and closed my eyes. Being so close to him felt so right.
“I need to do something,” Wes said, putting his hands on my arms and turning me so I faced him. He pulled out his phone and tapped on it a few times, then set it down.
When I heard the first few chords of the song start, my knees about buckled under me. Wes drew me to him and held me as we danced to Elvis Presley’s “Can’t Help Falling in Love” under the glow of the lights of the Christmas tree.
A soft sob slipped free as he drew me closer to him and we danced, neither of us saying a word.
Wes drew back and started to sing the song to me, and I knew right there I was head over heels in love with him. He reached up and wiped my tears away with the pads of his thumbs.
We stopped dancing and Wes cupped my face in his hands and leaned down, his mouth a breath away from mine.
He drew in a soft breath, then said, “I started to fall in love with you from the first moment you told me to eat a bag of dicks.”
I laughed and sobbed at the time.
“When I’m with you, Clare,” he closed his eyes and smiled before his gaze met mine again. “I feel something I’ve never felt before. Alive, excited, like I want to drive down a country road with all the windows down and sing some stupid song you like at the top of my lungs. If you asked me to drop everything and follow you to the ends of the Earth, I would do it. It’s so damn simple, Clare. I want to love you for the rest of my life.”
I couldn’t hold my tears back any longer. Throwing my arms around his neck, I lifted onto my toes and kissed him with everything I had. Every ounce of love that I felt for him I put into that kiss, and I felt it in return. He bent down and picked me up, carrying me into his bedroom.
“Clare, I want to make love to you,” he whispered as he laid me down on is bed.
I wanted to scream out for the world to hear me. Yes! Yes! Instead, I lifted my hand and placed it on the side of his face and said the only thing that would come out.
“Wes.”
Smiling, he kissed along my jaw, down my throat and back up to my ear. “Is that a yes?”
I arched my body up to his, desire throbbing everywhere. Our eyes met and I knew from that moment on, my life would never be the same.
“That is a hell yes.”
His handsome face grew even more so when he smiled down at me. His soft fingers brushed a piece of hair back from my face, and when he gently tucked it behind my ear and let his gaze move over my face, I knew that he had the ability to destroy me if he wanted to. But from the way he was looking down at me, I knew my heart, my soul, my body…was completely safe with him.
Wes laced his fingers with mine as he placed our hands over my head. “Tell me what you’re thinking right now, Clare.”
My eyes searched his face. “That I’ve never felt this way with anyone before.”
He kissed the corner of mouth. “Felt what way?” he asked as he kissed the opposite corner of my mouth.
“Happy. Safe. Excited. Nervous.”
He grinned. “Nervous? Tell me you’re not a virgin, my sweet Clare.”
A nervous bubble of laughter escaped as I shook my head. “No, but this feels…”
“Different,” we both said at the same time.
“Make love to me, Wes, please.”
“Oh, Clare, I’m going to make love to you all night long.”
Wes got off the bed and pulled his shirt over his head as I leaned up onto my elbows and watched him strip out of his clothes. Lord, the man was so beautiful. I chewed on my lower lip and watched as he stood before me, gloriously naked.
Is this really happening? Am I going to finally feel Wes against my body? Feel what it’s like to have him inside of me.
When my eyes moved up his body and met his intense gaze, I grinned. “Stop talking, Mr. Ward, and get me out of these clothes.”