Chapter 14 #2
She takes a seat in one of the chairs in front of her desk and, without wasting a second, says: “I’m going on a five-week tour through Europe. I leave in the second week of September.”
My heart stops. I sink further into the couch, feeling like I might actually be sick.
“I... I don’t think I heard you right.”
“Five weeks in Europe,” she repeats calmly. “I leave in the second week of September.”
I don’t know how, but this is worse than anything I’d been imagining.
He’s taking her. He’s going to take Ceci on a tour across Europe while I can’t remember the last trip we took together before everything ended.
I stand up abruptly. “How? Why? And the kids... who’s going to take care of them?”
She doesn’t answer immediately. I stop pacing and turn toward her.
“Colin, sit down. And please lower your voice.” Her tone is perfectly controlled. “I don’t know if Alicia is still upstairs, and Ethan and his girlfriend are in the backyard. They could come in at any moment. I don’t want them thinking we’re fighting when all I want is a civilized conversation.”
I force myself back onto the couch and take a deep breath. “Ethan has a girlfriend?” I ask, only now fully processing everything she said.
“Yes. It’s recent. He brought her here to meet us last week.”
To meet her. And Alicia... Not me.
“Dalila Barrett,” she adds. “Her father does business with Oliver. Maybe Oliver can tell you more about the family. I don’t know them well yet.”
I nod, completely thrown off. “You want to travel in September, but Ethan’s starting college and Alicia has school and...”
“And I’ll be here for their first week,” she says, not leaving room for argument.
“I’ll help Ethan move into the apartment he’s sharing with his friends.
I’ve already planned everything. I’m not going to miss any important moments in their lives.
And part of this trip is work-related too, for the blog and possibly for an article I started discussing with my editor. ”
Her voice is even. I know she didn’t mean it as a jab, but it hits like one anyway. Because I missed so many important moments in our kids’ lives. All in the name of a legacy neither of them cares about... and one I’m not in charge of anymore.
I swallow hard. She’s already thought through every angle, detail, and responsibility.
“And Alicia?”
“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.” Ceci takes a breath. “Felicity offered to have her stay at her house while I’m traveling. But I wanted to give you the opportunity first. If it’s something you want.”
“Of course I want my daughter with me,” I answer, offended she even had to ask.
“Okay.” Her voice stays calm as if to say let’s not turn this into a fight. “You already take her to and from school and ballet,” she continues, “so you’d just need to check if she needs anything extra for her classes and make sure she has everything she needs.”
I nod.
“Before the end of the month, we’ll buy all her school materials and anything else she thinks she needs. I’ll leave you a list with anything I think is important. Also, Felicity will have a copy of my house key, and Alicia has her own in case she needs to come by and pick something up.”
Ceci keeps talking, outlining the arrangements she’ll make for the kids before her trip, every detail perfectly organized.
And all I can think is:
She’s going with him. They’ll spend all those weeks together.
“Colin, did you hear what I said?”
I look at Ceci, swallowing the knot in my throat. “Yes... I heard.” My gaze drops to the coffee table. “Why?” I ask, unable to hold it in any longer. “Why now? Why this trip?”
She doesn’t answer right away, and when I finally look back at her, she says, “Because it’s something I’ve always wanted to do. And there was never time, or the opportunity. With Ethan going to college, and Alicia getting more independent every day, there’s no reason to keep postponing it.”
I want to ask if that’s really the only reason. If Santoro has anything to do with this. If he’s the one pushing her out the door.
“We went to England on our honeymoon,” I say, my voice barely above a whisper.
Ceci nods. “Yes. And it was a nice trip.”
Nice. When she once described it as the best trip of her life.
“Are you going to Scotland this time?” I ask.
“Yes.”
It had been part of our honeymoon itinerary, but the January weather ruined the plans, and we ended up visiting other places instead.
“When are you going to tell the kids?” I ask, trying not to slip back into old memories.
“Later tonight, or tomorrow at breakfast.”
“You think Alicia will want to spend those five weeks with me?” I ask, uncertain.
“I think so. She’s already taken the first step, spending more time at your place, and even sleeping there this weekend.”
I stand. “Thank you for telling me. And for giving me the chance. I’ll make the arrangements to ensure there’s someone there to handle Alicia’s breakfast and prepare meals. If there’s anything else you need, just call me.”
I’m already reaching for the doorknob when Ceci speaks again.
“Colin.”
I turn.
“The way you’re respecting Ethan’s space, and how present you’ve truly been for Alicia these past months... it makes me think that maybe, someday, I’ll be able to trust you again. At least as the good father you used to be to our kids.”
A grateful smile pulls at my mouth. And I leave her office before the emotion in my chest gives me away.
As soon as I get into the car, I pull out of the driveway and force myself to focus on all the things I need to set up so Alicia will feel comfortable staying with me for those five weeks.
I try not to think about who Ceci will be with on that trip. Or what she’ll be doing, how easy it’ll be for her to fall even further into someone else’s life… Into another man’s arms.
I try not to think about any of it.
And I fail.
September
Cecily
The past few weeks went by as if they were racing time. I don’t know if it was because of all the arrangements I had to make before the trip, or because of my own anxiety bubbling underneath everything.
Tomorrow I’ll be leaving for my first destination.
The kids took the news surprisingly well.
They were more than happy for me. Alicia asked me to take lots of photos and videos, and to bring her a ton of souvenirs from every place I visit.
Ethan wanted to make sure the agency was handling all the details properly, including my travel insurance and international health coverage.
Saying Mark was thrilled would be an understatement. He secured new advertisers and even managed to arrange collaborations with some of the places I’ll be staying at.
Helping me plan this trip brought a light back into his eyes. One that had dimmed ever since he returned from New Jersey. He hasn’t told me what happened there. He said he doesn’t want to talk or think about it anymore, but I know the moment will come when he finally lets it out.
That’s who Mark is. He buries everything until he can finally speak about it at a moment when it no longer hurts.
He and Felicity practically organized the entire trip by themselves, bickering the whole time, and my opinion was only taken into account when it came to the itineraries.
Three weeks ago, we helped Ethan move into the apartment he’ll be sharing with his friends.
I thought he would choose Columbia, the same university Dalila is attending, but in the end, he chose Cornell, the same university his best friend Conrad got into, and, according to him, one of the best places in the country to study architecture.
We flew to Ithaca again three days ago for Ethan’s birthday. Just a one-day trip because Alicia had classes the next morning.
Alicia, Ethan, and I went to a steakhouse he and his friends are currently obsessed with. Happy and proud don’t even begin to describe how I felt seeing how well he’s adapting to living away from home for the first time.
When we said goodbye at the airport, I had to work really hard not to cry. He made me promise to keep my phone charged at all times and to carry multiple power banks “in case of emergencies.”
I smiled and hugged him tightly.
I sigh now and pull two more lightweight dresses from the closet to pack. Felicity is sprawled across my bed, scrolling through her phone.
“I’m assuming your offer to help me pack was meant to work telepathically, since you haven’t looked up from that screen once.”
She just smiles and keeps typing. “New campaign. My brain is on fire with ideas to share with the marketing team.”
I smile and keep placing the last few items into the one suitcase I’m taking with me.
I’m about to close the suitcase when Felicity says, “Wait! I brought something very important that you cannot forget.”
She jumps off the bed, walks over to my desk where she left her purse earlier, and pulls out a small box.
The moment I see what she’s holding, I say, “No. Thank you for the offer, but no.”
I start closing the suitcase again, but she swats my hand away and unzips it like she owns the thing, tucks the box of condoms beneath a few of my clothes, and says, “You can thank me later.”
I huff. “I’m not going to need that.”
She raises an eyebrow and mirrors my crossed-arms stance. “And you’re not about to spend a few weeks in Italy with your Italian hunk?”
“He’s not my...” I stop halfway and sigh. “You know what? Leave it. I’m not using it anyway, so it doesn’t matter.”
“Mhm, sure.” She grins. “Oh, and just so you know, condom in Italian is preservativo. I Googled it. You know... in case you go through these at record speed and need more.”
I groan. “Felicity!”
She bursts out laughing and pulls me down onto the bed beside her.