Chapter 39 #2
“Fuck,” I groan as he eases a finger inside of me. No matter how many times I take my mate, it’s always intense. River’s touch lights me up and his alpha’s dominance subdues my caretaking urge so I can let go.
Thankfully, I don’t need to prompt River to go on.
His voice is rough as he continues, working me open as he adds another finger, knowing I can take it.
“When I see you with her, I’m jealous because I know I can’t have that.
When I see all three of you together, it makes me burn.
Not because she’s taking you from me, but because I can’t join you. ”
My stomach flips at his ragged confession, and I look back at him over my shoulder. “You still want Camille?” I don’t mean to sound so shocked, but the way he’s behaved around her and approached this whole situation has made me think the complete opposite.
River huffs, placing a hand on my back and pressing me down so I can’t look at him. Pinning me in place and demanding I take what he wants to give me, only on his terms.
It’s a good thing I enjoy submitting to him so much.
“Yes, I want her. I want her and I can’t have her, and it drives me crazy. I want you, and her, and fuck it, I want Jackson, too, despite him being even more impossible to have.”
River removes his fingers and notches his cock against my fluttering hole. Taking him without more prep will burn, but I don’t care.
I want to feel every inch of him pushing inside me.
I want to take everything from him. All the hurt, frustrated parts, and the needs he’s tried so hard to fight and shoulder alone.
“You can have her,” I pant, fingers gripping the sheets as I bear down and the blunt head of his cock presses inexorably into me. “We can find a way to make it work.”
A dark laugh echoes in the room, bitter and pained. “No.”
My heart threatens to shatter at that single word, chest aching for my mate.
This whole time, I was worried he was hiding because he wasn’t happy about adding an omega to our pack, but he was unhappy because he couldn’t add her in the way he truly wants. Because even after over ten years, he still wants Jackson.
“Before you argue, give me a minute to feel this, okay?” River murmurs as he continues to press his hips forward. “I want so much, and you’re the one I can have.” He releases a shaky exhale. “You’re enough. Let me show you.”
This man. He has so much love inside him it hurts. So much that he deserves a whole pack to give it to, rather than only me.
I’ll do everything I can to convince him he’s wrong. That we’ll figure this out and he can get everything he deserves.
But the rough growl coming from his alpha means now isn’t the time.
“Okay. Yes. Show me. Please, sir. Show me.” I relax as best I can, letting him in until his knot bumps against my ass. I’m overwhelmed by his emotions swirling with mine through the bond, and the insistent fullness of his length inside me.
“That’s it, take it like a good alpha,” he grunts as he sets a rapid pace.
It’s too much, but it’s perfect.
I love being used by him.
I love being his obedient alpha.
I love all of it. All of him.
Tears well in my eyes as I send my arousal and love through the bond. River lets out a shuddering moan, his fingers digging into my hips as he slams inside me.
Pleasure sizzles at the base of my spine as his cock hits my prostate over and over, my cock leaking profusely against the bed. “Yes. Thank you, sir.”
“Such a desperate little toy. You’re going to come already, aren’t you?
I can feel how hard your hole is sucking me in.
Such a greedy slut.” River pulls my hips up, making enough room between my body and the mattress to fist my cock, wrapping his fingers around my shaft to pump me in time with his hips.
“Oh f-fuck, River.”
I can’t fight it. My vision whites out and I come hard as he slides his fist up to squeeze my knot. Cum splatters across the bed as pleasure surges through me.
River tangles a hand in my hair, pulling me up so he can press his teeth against his bond mark on the back of my neck.
“This is enough,” he rasps, his movements growing uneven as he nears his release.
“Your tight little hole is going to be so full of my cum with how often I’m going to use you, but you can take it. ”
“Yes, please, come inside me.” My voice is hoarse and desperate as I beg. “I’m yours to use whenever you need.”
“That’s right,” River growls. “You’re going to let your alpha have you whenever I want.”
I go slack against him as he pounds into me, giving all of myself to him as I sink into my submission. “Anytime. Fuck me in front of them. Show them how good I am for you. Show them you’re mine and I’m yours.”
“F-fuck,” River gasps, sinking his teeth against my throat hard enough to sting as he comes, pumping his hot release inside me as he shudders and moans.
We collapse forward onto the bed, his slimmer form blanketing across my back. River lets out a weak groan as he pulls out, kissing my bond mark and I roll over, doing my best to ignore the mess we’ve made of the comforter.
River’s eyes shine with emotion that echoes down the bond. “Ambrose, fuck…I…”
I reach up and cup his cheek. “It’s okay, love. We’re going to figure it out.”
He swallows hard and tears spill silently down his face. “I don’t know how. They don’t want me.”
His aching sadness makes a purr rumble to life inside me, my alpha needing to soothe the man I love. I pull him against my chest and stroke his back. “You won’t know that unless you ask them,” I whisper, hoping he knows it’s meant as reassurance rather than an accusation for making assumptions.
“I can’t.” There’s a long pause, and more tears spill against my chest. I keep rubbing his back, holding through this. “Even if Camille didn’t hate me, I need to keep my job to support us a-and…” A little choked sob spills out of him. “I can’t tell Jackson. It’ll ruin things.”
God, it hurts to hear him speak his pain aloud. It’s so much more than I thought. My heart breaks knowing the extent of what he’s kept to himself.
No more.
“What’s the number one rule of our pack?”
River pushes up from my chest to look at me, his brow furrowing as he wipes at his tear-stained cheeks. “W-what?”
“What’s the rule that makes this pack work?” I ask again.
The line between his brows deepens. “Honesty.” He sighs and shakes his head. “Some things are better left as a secret. I can handle it.” He sniffs, some of his guard settling back into place. “I’ve been handling it for years.”
I glare at him. “Fuck that. Your version of handling this isn’t cutting it anymore.”
“What do you propose, then? Word vomit all my feelings to my best friend and have him never want to speak to me again?” River scoffs.
I sit up so I can look him dead in the eye. “Do you really think your bond is so fragile that telling Jackson you love him would ruin things?”
I’ve felt through the bond how close they are. How much affection they have for each other. Jackson is the most steadfast person I’ve met. There’s no way he’d run.
“He loves you, too, and even if he tells you he has no romantic interest in you, he’ll still love you.” I place my hands on River’s shoulders, right on top of the beautiful ink designs that decorate his skin, and squeeze. “We’re a pack. We’re not leaving you.”
River opens and closes his mouth a few times before he deflates, his defenses lowering again. “…Okay.”
I narrow my eyes. “We’ll figure this out. Not you. We.”
River sighs heavily, and I feel his surrender through the bond. “Okay.”
Relief swells inside me, and I wrap my arms around my mate. When we part, I grimace at the sticky cum that’s smeared across our skin. “Now let’s go take a shower before this dries in my chest hair.”
River snorts. “Aww, I kinda like you covered in me.” His eyes drop to the trail of his release, slowly leaking from me onto the bed. “And full of me.”
I shake my head, secretly loving how much his alpha wants to claim me, an older alpha past his prime. “Don’t worry, I’ll let you reapply it whenever you want.”
My heart flutters when my handsome, wonderful mate grins back at me. “Good.” He winces a little as he goes to stand up. “Hmm, shower and maybe a gummy. I shouldn’t have gone that hard. My back was already mad at me, but you were just so…” A little growl rumbles out of him.
I flush at the sound, my cock twitching with interest. “You should be more careful.”
“It was worth it,” River says with a wicked smile as he notices my cock swelling back to life. “And look who’s needy again. Come on, let’s go wash my toy off and get him ready to be played with again.”