Chapter 16
“ S he was rushed to Tallahassee Memorial. She passed out at work during an anxiety attack,” Vegas said.
My heart sank. I wanted to be there for her, but I felt like my presence would only make things worse. “A’ight, man.”
“Harlem, listen, man. Fuck allat other shit. Kee and I can’t get there as quickly as you can. Go see about her.”
“I’m the reason she’s there. I told her Mo was my father. Did she tell y’all that shit?”
“Naw, she didn’t. Just that things weren’t working out between the two of you.”
“Things were perfect until that. She disclosed her trauma to me, and when she said his name, I knew I had to tell her. Had I not, things would have been much worse later.”
“You’re right. I think she’s going through this, though, because she’s at war within herself. The trauma of it all but feeling like she lost out. Even if she doesn’t see you, I need you to go check on her.”
“Okay. I’ll head up there.”
I ended the call without waiting to see if he would say anything else. Prying myself from the bed, I quickly took a shower and threw on a T-shirt and some jeans, then headed to the ER. As I drove, flashes of her smile played through my head like a movie. The way she playfully ran from me on the beach, her sex faces whenever I made love to her, her smile when I bought her something… all that shit was on repeat in my head for the past few days.
I did my best to block out the images of her crying, screaming, and breaking down. That shit hurt. She had deep trauma from that shit, and I didn’t realize how deep it was until I witnessed her pulling her own hair. My heart was struggling, trying to bear what my reality did to her. Knowing she’d passed out at work… She must have just let the anxiety consume her. I hoped my note on her flower delivery didn’t push her in that direction.
I just wanted to express how much I needed and missed her. It took being away from her to realize I already loved her. I’d never been in love before or even felt this strongly for another woman. That shit had me straight simping on her ass.
My phone rang as I drove. I didn’t recognize the number, so I answered. “Hello?”
“Harlem?”
“Yes.”
“Hi. It’s Giselle. I got your number from Yunique’s phone. I had to call the ambulance for her. We’re at?—”
“I’m already on my way. Vegas called me. Is she conscious?”
“Yes, but I haven’t seen her. The doctor came out and told me that much.”
“Are you still in ER?”
“Yes. They are going to put her in the ICU. She didn’t just pass out. She wasn’t breathing.” She sniffed and released a small cry. “I’m sorry.”
The tear fell from my eye, and I wiped it with my shoulder. “It’s okay. I’ll be there in about five minutes.”
I ended the call and frowned, doing my best to subdue my emotions. Yunique was dying. My heart was in my shoes. The minute I got to the hospital and found somewhere to park, I released a cry that I didn’t even recognize. I couldn’t let her check out on me. If she did, she was gonna have to take me with her. I was barely hanging on, knowing she was across town, and I didn’t have access to her.
When we landed at the airport, she literally got her own Uber. We hadn’t said more than a few words to each other since. It was like she was trying to purge herself of her feelings for me. After wiping my face and doing my best to compose myself, I looked in the mirror to see how red and puffy my eyes were. I released a sigh and got out of the vehicle.
I practically ran to the entrance and found Giselle in the waiting area, pacing. When she saw me, she stopped and stared at me for a moment. She walked closer, and when she looked into my eyes, she wrapped her arms around me. I supposed she could see the turmoil I was in from not having Yunique. Once she released me, she brought me to the desk to let them know that I was Yunique’s husband. After notating everything, they said they would let us know when we could see her.
Going back to the waiting area, I sat and bounced my leg nervously. Giselle grabbed my hand and squeezed it tightly. I could tell she was scared. She’d probably seen the entire thing and knew just how severe it was. I almost didn’t want to know, but I knew I needed to know what I was facing. “What happened?” I asked.
Giselle glanced at me and said, “She’d been struggling all morning. After the flowers arrived, she was emotional. She told me you were perfect but connected to her childhood trauma. She didn’t say how though. She said she was okay, so I left her office. When I heard her screaming, I ran back to her to see she was pouring with sweat and struggling to breathe. When I went to her to help her, she hopped up from her seat, pacing back and forth with her arms crossed over the top of her head.”
Giselle sobbed for a moment, and that caused a couple of tears to leave me, too, as I held her in my arms. “When she slowed down and was just standing there, I knew she was losing the battle. She turned to me and grabbed my hand, then dropped to the floor. I was so scared. My friend was leaving me right before my eyes. Oh my God!”
I hugged and rocked Giselle as my tears fell uncontrollably, just like hers were. God, please intervene. Yunique needs You… We do too. I didn’t know what else to do. Prayer shouldn’t have been my last resort, but God had a way of making you come to Him. There was nothing more I could do. My hands were tied. Yunique had to have a desire to live. Surely, she didn’t want to die. She had way too much to live for.
When I released Giselle, a man and a woman were making strides toward us. “Oh my God, baby girl. How’s Yunique doing?”
“I don’t know, Mama. I don’t know!”
Her mother hugged her tightly, and the man sat across from them and nodded at me. I recognized him from the wedding.
“Mama, this is Harlem, Yunique’s husband.”
“Hi, Harlem. I’m Solé King, Yunique’s psychiatrist, and Giselle and Vegas’s mother.”
“Nice to meet you,” I said to her. “They’ll probably allow you to go back there, since you’re her doctor.”
“Yeah. We need to know what’s going on. I’ll be right back.”
I nodded as I watched her walk to the front desk, then they led her to the back. Hopefully, we would know something soon, because I was sinking by the minute, especially after hearing from Giselle what happened. She’d read the note. She didn’t have to tell me that part. Yunique felt everything I did, but her memories of her trauma were holding her back.
My phone buzzed in my hand, and I looked at it to see it was a message from Vegas. We’re boarding our flight. Keke is a mess of emotions. How is Nique?
I don’t know yet. They won’t let us back. Your mom just got here, and they allowed her to go back there. So hopefully we’ll know something soon. Giselle said they told her they will be putting her in ICU.
I waited for his reply as Giselle talked softly to her father. I wanted to be in the room with Yunique to see for myself what was going on. My nerves were about to get the best of me. My phone buzzed, and I saw he’d just responded, Okay.
I sat back in my seat and twiddled my thumbs for a moment, then stood and paced. This waiting had me about to go into an anxiety attack. She and I would be roommates in a minute. When I saw Doctor King emerge, I literally ran to her. She grabbed my hands and said, “She’s gonna be okay. They aren’t allowing visitors right now though. Only her doctors can see her today. I’m assuming I would have to clear her for visitors. It wasn’t just a simple anxiety attack. She had a mental breakdown.”
I closed my eyes and released a sigh of relief. Despite not being able to see her, I was just glad to know that she would eventually be okay. Had I lost her, it wouldn’t have been good for anyone in the vicinity of me when receiving that news. I nodded and went to the waiting area to grab my keys from the table next to where I was sitting.
I couldn’t sit here in the waiting area all this time. “Does anyone want anything to eat?” I asked.
“No, thank you,” Giselle responded.
I nodded. “I’ll be back.”
As I walked away, Dr. King said, “Harlem?”
I turned to see her walking toward me. She grabbed my hand and led me outside. Once the doors shut, she said, “If you need to talk, I’m always here. I know this whole thing has been difficult for you. She’s trying. Please don’t give up.”
“I had no intentions of giving up. I love her, Doctor King. She’s the woman I was meant to cherish for the rest of my life. It’s hard seeing her struggle… It’s hard being without her… It’s hard knowing that I’m part of the source of her trauma.”
Her eyebrows lifted. “What do you mean?”
I swallowed hard and looked away from her. “The man that violated Keondra was my father.”
Her eyes widened even more, and her hand covered her mouth. “Oh my God.”
“Yeah. So I don’t know if she’ll want to be with me anymore. Regardless, I’m not going to stop loving her. I love that woman with my soul. It happened so fucking fast. So, I can’t give up on her… no matter what she decides to do. I’m gonna always be here, checking on her, making sure she’s okay, and letting her know how much I still love her.”
She gave me a hug, and I heard her whisper, “My God.”
I closed my eyes, soaking in her motherly embrace. This was a time I could have used a consoling hug from my own mother. This love shit was painful as fuck. I think I’d rather get shot than to deal with this type of heartache. When she released me, she said, “Whenever they get her set up in her room, I’m going to talk to her and evaluate her. Is it okay if I reiterate anything you’ve said to me?”
“Yes, ma’am. It’s nothing I haven’t already said to her.”
She nodded. “Okay. Does Giselle have your number in case there are updates before you get back?”
“She has Yunique’s phone, so she has my number.”
She brought her hand to my cheek. “Okay, baby. Things will get better. Believe that, okay?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
I nodded and walked away, heading to my SUV to get away from here.
I parked in the parking lot and just stared at the hospital. I tried to eat some chicken, but after eating one chicken leg and French fries, I was done. My appetite for food was nonexistent. I only craved to be near Yunique. I hadn’t accepted a call from my brother in days. I’d only messaged him, saying I would get back with him. I knew he was worried about me, but I couldn’t verbalize that shit to nobody else.
At least the ones that knew already had a clue. They knew Yunique’s story and why she was the way she was. My brother wouldn’t understand. Despite me being the oldest, he was the most ruthless. He was hostile on the streets… act first and think later. He had more of Mo in him than I cared to admit. Thankfully, that perverted shit wasn’t passed down, as far as I knew.
I was more like my mama. That was because I sympathized with her. I watched her struggle to take care of us. My heart was soft, especially toward good women. Yunique was a good woman. She was past good. Her ability to have me at her beck and call, doing whatever she wanted me to do, was a miracle. While I could be soft as hell with the right woman, I wasn’t the type to beg or be strung around.
Yunique was so fucking different. The way our gazes unraveled each other that first night in Tahiti stayed on my mind. Our hearts were wide open… free to love each other. The night I told her about Mo being my father stripped all that shit away. It felt like God had given me access to heaven then kicked me out and said, My bad. You were supposed to be in hell.
It made me wonder if this was my punishment for all the lives I’d ruined with drugs. The shit I sold tore families apart and killed people. I’d fucked up countless individuals, whether with drugs or my fists, not to mention the ones that had suffered an eternal fate for trying to fuck me over. At some point, I knew I would have to pay for my sins. Maybe this was it.
I closed my eyes to try to take a nap, but before I could, my phone rang. When I looked at it, I saw it was the unsaved number again. Giselle. I answered quickly. “Hello?”
“Hi, Harlem. They’ve gotten her to a room, and Mama is back there talking to her. Hopefully, we will soon know when we can see her.”
“Thanks for letting me know. I’m outside in the parking lot, so if something develops, I’m already here.”
“Okay. Vegas and Keke’s plane lands in the next hour.”
“Okay. Thanks for updating me.”
“Of course.”
I ended the call, knowing that I would soon know whether Yunique wanted to see me or not.