Chapter 12
“C ome to the mall?” Zainab asked, her eyes flicking from the phone in her hand to Alba who was standing frozen in the doorway to their apartment.
“Yes, I had a lovely day at work, thank you, dear. How was your day?” Alba shot back, moving again to close the door.
Zainab waved her off. “I’d have asked. They close in a couple of hours. Come to the mall?”
Alba shrugged. “Sure. Are we going for anything specific?”
“Nope.”
“Fair enough.”
“Great,” Zainab stood up from the couch swiftly, joining Alba by the door to grab her things as Alba sifted through what she needed to bring with her and what could stay there. “So. Good day?”
Alba laughed, herding her out the door. “Yes, thank you. A fairly standard Tuesday.”
She hummed. “Two days before my birthday. Did you get me a gift yet? Now’s a great time if not.”
Alba stepped back into the elevator she’d only recently left, her hand pausing halfway to the buttons. “Is that why we’re going to the mall?”
“No.”
“Okay. Great. Because I already got your gift, thank you very much.”
“I’m impressed.”
Alba waited until they made it to the ground floor to ask, “Do you want to know what it is?”
“No.” Zainab led the way out the door and across the parking lot. “I’ll drive, shall I?”
Alba smiled, nodding. A question. A really simple, standard question. Presumptuously phrased this time, perhaps, but it was a question. One she’d taken for granted for so long, but hanging out with Neve had her reassessing so many things in her life. She glanced at the spot where she’d parked Neve’s car on Sunday, smiling slightly more as she did.
They got into the car and Alba pulled her phone out to text Neve. However, she was greeted by a waiting notification and was unable to deny she was a little disappointed when she saw that it wasn’t from the woman in question.
“Neve?” Zainab asked accusingly as she started the car up.
“Handel’s Water Music.” Alba shot her a look. “See. Other people text me.”
“Yeah, your weird cousin is a real win.” She pulled out of the space and headed for the exit. “You know, calling her that only makes it weirder.”
“I know.” Alba grinned. In her defense, she wasn’t the one who’d started it. It was just a family thing from when her cousin, Hanna, had gotten so excited to attend a performance of said music that she learned everything she could about its composer’s life and those performing it. Subsequently, nobody actually managed to listen to any of the performance because Hanna managed to talk through the entire thing about all the facts she’d learned.
The fact that Hanna and Handel were similar only helped the name stick.
“Does she at least have good gossip?”
“If you count checking that I’m going to that whole holiday weekend gathering thing next week as gossip…”
“Ooh, do I consider your movements as juicy gossip I couldn’t get from anyone but your cousin?” She shot Alba a deadpan stare.
Alba laughed. “Hey, you asked.” She paused, reading. “Oh, actually, she is bringing her boyfriend, apparently.”
“Did we know she had a boyfriend?”
“Nope.”
“Okay. Baby gossip, I suppose.”
Alba looked away from the phone, studying Zainab’s profile. “Did you have a weird day at work?”
Zainab narrowed her eyes, refusing to look away from the road. “Why would you assume that?”
“You’re in an odd mood.”
“Am I.”
Alba laughed at the tone and lack of question in it. “Just a touch.”
She sighed and pursed her lips. Alba knew her well enough to give her time, using the moment to tell her cousin she’d be there to meet the boyfriend in question and to text a little, casual message to Neve.
“There’s just someone new who started today,” Zainab eventually said.
“Weird to start on a Tuesday instead of yesterday, but sure.” Alba quirked her lips. “No good?”
“They’re… good. I think.”
She studied Zainab. It wasn’t like her to have such complicated feelings on people. Ordinarily, Zainab knew exactly how she felt about someone and wasn’t especially shy about it. “So, what’s the problem?”
“There’s no problem,” she said too quickly.
Alba laughed. “Clearly, there is.”
“They’re fine. Totally fine. Just… a little…”
Alba stifled her smile. She suddenly got it and it did make sense of Zainab’s mood. However, she wasn’t certain Zainab had figured it out yet.
She wondered briefly whether she should just point it out. After all, Zainab hadn’t been shy about insisting Alba had a crush on Neve. Nor had she been subtle in her teasing since Alba had admitted it. However, Alba wasn’t sure she was there yet. Maybe in a few days, but not yet.
Instead, she adjusted her position in her seat, looking out the window as she said, “You should invite them along on Thursday.”
“Why on earth would I do that?”
“To get to know them.”
“I don’t need to get to know them. And, as I’m sure you’ve noticed, I don’t socialize with every person from my office.”
“Just a suggestion,” Alba said, holding her hands up in surrender.
It would only be a matter of time before Zainab figured it out. She wasn’t nearly as emotionally constipated as she seemed the first day she met someone she liked. But, for a couple of days, she sure seemed it.
“Do they have a name?” Alba asked casually.
“Most people tend to,” Zainab replied.
Alba almost laughed. Zainab really was a trip when she liked someone.
She pulled into the parking lot of the mall without giving up the person’s name, so, despite the desperate curiosity she felt, Alba knew she was going to have to wait a little longer for the answer. As if that hadn’t already been obvious enough from the emotionally soothing shopping trip Zainab had them taking. It was one of her favorite activities most of the time, so, in and of itself, it wasn’t necessarily an indication that anything was wrong, but, once Alba had put the pieces together, she’d noticed there was a pattern.
They made it around three stores where Alba bought nothing and Zainab bought very little before Alba fished her phone out again. She was sitting on a bench waiting for Zainab to try some clothes on and couldn’t resist. No matter how much she found it amusing that Zainab was completely preoccupied with her new crush, it wasn’t like Alba was much better.
Neve had replied. So had Alba’s cousin, but that could wait.
She read the message eagerly, frowning when she realized something was off. Neve was like an open book.
What’s wrong? She had to know. She wanted to make everything better. Part of her couldn’t help but wonder whether there was something wrong with the day itself. She’d had a perfectly lovely day but something was wrong with Neve, and Zainab was being tormented by a crush she hadn’t realized yet was one.
Neve replied quickly. Nothing
Alba frowned at her phone. She didn’t need to see Neve to know that was a lie. You can tell me. I promise it’s okay
It took a moment, but, eventually, Neve replied. I’m just trying to work myself up into having that conversation with Charlie tonight…
Ahh, the one about me!
Yes. The one about you… But also about, you know, just… lots of things!
Neve hadn’t mentioned exactly what she wanted to say to Charlie, but Alba knew the conversation was important and that it had been bothering Neve since Sunday—probably longer, honestly.
The two had been friends a long time, but Neve hated confrontation. She’d also been beating herself up over how long it was taking her to get around to the conversation.
Alba thought through her reply more than she could ever remember thinking through a text in her life. If you need to break things down and only tackle one at a time, that’s okay. It’s perfectly acceptable to just tell her you can choose your own friends, you know?
Is it?
It is. I promise
Alba wished they were talking about this in person. It was so much easier to believe someone when they were right in front of you, demonstrating how much they believed the words they were saying. And, while it seemed, perhaps, a little odd that Neve trusted Alba to discuss these things with when she couldn’t tell her best friend, it wasn’t all that surprising. Alba’s friendship with Neve wasn’t built on pretenses. Not that her friendship with Charlie was, either, but the two of them had a whole history and long-established dynamic Neve was trying to fight through and adjust.
What if she hates me?
Alba stared at Neve’s message, her secret fears, spoken aloud for just the two of them. Alba didn’t underestimate the gift of it.
But that didn’t help her reply.
Generally, Alba’s approach was that if someone couldn’t accept the changes and growth you needed, they weren’t worth having around. However, she also knew that her approach and Neve’s were likely polar opposites. And she knew all of Neve’s hesitancy and fear grew from not wanting to lose her friend. Alba thought she deserved better from her friends than needing to have the conversation in the first place, let alone working to mitigate Charlie’s response to it.
She’s not going to hate you. You’ve been friends for a really long time now. You live together. You know each other. At most, it will be a tiny bump to overcome as your relationship adapts to your needs, but that’s okay!
Alba was determined to be a good friend to Neve, even as she worked through her crush, but, even so, all she could think was that she wanted to hug her. It wasn’t romantic, necessarily. It was just the need to be there for someone she cared for.
She just knew she didn’t usually care quite this much.
That was wiser than I was expecting!
Alba laughed out loud. Should I be insulted?
No! I didn’t mean it like that, just that it was very wise! And helpful.
Yeah? I’m glad. And, while I am sure it will go well, I’m here no matter what happens!
She knew Neve was looking at her phone, but it took a while for her to reply. Alba could picture the way she must have been chewing her lower lip to within an inch of its life, the way her free hand must be worrying the edge of her shirt.
The reply came eventually. Wish me luck!
Call me after!
Zainab stepped out of the changing room as if on cue, and her entire demeanor switched upon catching sight of Alba. She rolled her eyes. “God. You’re in deep.”
Alba shot her a look, considering making a sarcastic comment. “How so?”
Zainab sat on the bench beside her, two items draped over her arm. “Look, I’m glad you’ve admitted you have a crush on Neve, but do you want to talk about all this ?” She gestured to Alba.
“Are you insulting my look?” Alba glanced down at herself. “If you’ll remember correctly, you dragged me here straight from work basically.”
She rolled her eyes again. “Not this time.”
“Well, at least that.” Alba slipped her phone back into her pocket, hoping Neve would call her later and that the news would be good.
“You’re going to get hurt, and I’m worried about you.”
“Here? I doubt it. What do you think is going to happen? Shirt-related incidents are common, are they?”
“Alba.”
“Zainab.”
She sighed heavily. “Can you just be serious for one minute?”
“Sure.”
Zainab’s eyes traced over Alba’s face in a studying way. She dropped her voice. “You’re falling for her.”
“I thought we’d already established she was my type? It’s not like you can’t have a little crush on your friends. It will pass.”
Zainab blew out a breath. “It’s more than that. The look on your face when you talk to her…”
Alba looked at her incredulously. “We’re just friends and she’s going through something right now. Nothing is going to happen. I swear. I know what I’m doing.”
Zainab regarded her doubtfully. Alba didn’t know how to explain without revealing more about Neve than she had permission to. She had no idea whether Neve was generally out as asexual or if she wanted Alba’s friends knowing such a thing, and she wasn’t going to reveal it without very clear consent. It did make these conversations Zainab kept insisting on having a little complicated, though.
Eventually, Zainab dropped her shoulders. “Okay. If you say so. But, just so you know, when you’re hurting like hell, I’ll be there.”
Alba smiled. “I know.”
Zainab rolled her eyes and stood up. “Doesn’t mean I’m going to stop giving you a hard time about it, though.”
“I know that too.” Alba laughed and joined her in leaving the changing rooms.
“And, you know, I hope you’re ready for everyone else’s questions when you bring your girlfriend to my birthday party.”
“She’s not my girlfriend.”
“She’s your date.”
“When has that ever been an indication I’m going to start calling someone my girlfriend?”
“It hasn’t. But she’s different, and, whether you want to admit it or not, you know that.”
Alba laughed. “I do know that. We’re friends and I’m planning on being friends with her for a long time.”
“Planning to marry her as far as I can see.”
Alba skipped ahead, leading the way for the checkout. “I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that. But, if you’re so worried about me, perhaps you should bring your new colleague along so everyone is bringing someone. Might not look so suspicious then.”