Chapter 22
A lba beamed as her mom pulled Neve into a hug. Neve looked tiny next to her five-foot-ten mother. If she hadn’t looked so delighted to be meeting Neve, the scene might have been mildly terrifying.
She stifled a laugh thinking about how much her mom would hate that thought. She wasn’t that tall after all, and definitely not much taller than Alba, but it was funnier that way.
“It’s so nice to meet you, honey,” her mom said, squeezing Neve tightly. “Alba’s been talking about you non-stop in her text messages.”
A few hours ago, Alba might have tried to deny that—or maybe she wouldn’t have. Now, though, she had absolutely no interest in denying it.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Elena,” Neve said, blushing a little. She was so cute Alba could barely stand it.
Alba’s mom scoffed. “Please, with the way my daughter’s looking at you, the pleasure is all mine. Do you know, she’s never brought a woman home before. I was starting to worry she was never going to find the one, but, the minute she started talking about you, I had a feeling she’d found something special.”
Neve shot Alba an unimaginably soft look that turned Alba’s insides molten. She’d usually be inclined to stop her mom revealing too much but, in this case, she found she didn’t really mind. All she wanted was for Neve to know just how much she meant to her, and, if that meant letting her mom talk about every embarrassing thing Alba had ever done, so be it.
Scott, Alba’s stepdad, sidled up beside her. “So, is this the Mrs, kiddo?”
Alba laughed. “Not yet.”
He raised an eyebrow. “ Not yet , huh? It’s serious, then?”
Alba smiled, feeling herself blushing slightly. “Yeah. Pretty new still, I guess, but I think this is the one that sticks.”
He clapped a hand to her shoulder. “I’m happy for you, kiddo. Exactly the way I felt when I met your mom.”
“Yeah. I always used to think you were lying.”
He laughed his familiar, deep laugh. “But, it turns out, when you know, you know.”
“Turns out you do,” Alba agreed with a wry smile.
“Don’t worry. It’s not an I told you so thing. You can’t know until you do, and then you win at life.”
Alba looked from him to Neve, who was still chatting with her mom. Scott wasn’t wrong about that. Alba felt like she’d won every competition she’d ever been in—and all the ones she hadn’t even entered—now that she got to be with Neve. After the way they’d been acting lately, almost together but not quite, she’d had no idea how she’d have gone from that back to nothing if Neve had fallen for someone else.
She found she wasn’t even upset that Zainab had been right a million times over. Alba would buy Zainab whatever the hell she wanted as a victory prize for the rest of time because it was nothing compared to being with Neve.
The only thing Zainab had been wrong about was it ending poorly, and Alba would happily give her all the wins in exchange for that one not being true.
Scott laughed and nudged her. “You’ve got it bad, kiddo.”
“Yeah,” Alba agreed readily. “I really have.”
“And already introducing her to the whole family. You think she’s ready for them all?”
“Is anyone ever?”
He laughed. “Fair point.”
“I’m not going to leave her to fend for herself. That’s what matters.”
Scott wrapped his arm around her. “Proud of you, kiddo.”
Alba beamed up at him, feeling simultaneously like she’d finally achieved the best part of adulthood and like she was twelve years old all over again. “So, do you want to meet her?”
“Do you even have to ask? Can’t have Elena stealing all the fun, can we?”
“Not at all. I want my girlfriend back.”
He shot her an amused look. “Being in love suits you.”
Alba blushed and led him over to Neve and her mom, not hesitating for a moment to wrap her arm around Neve’s waist.
And it went like that for much of the rest of the day.
Given their slight holdups, they only had about an hour alone with her parents and siblings before everyone else started arriving. However, despite the already overwhelming day, Neve handled the influx of new people well. Even those who Alba didn’t have much regular contact with and who were almost insultingly surprised that Alba had a girlfriend. Neve might have handled them even better than Alba did. For the most part, though, everyone was delighted for them and, before long, the barbeque was going in the backyard that opened directly onto the beach, and Neve had slotted in like she was always supposed to be there.
Alba perched herself on a wall around a flower bed and pulled Neve to stand between her legs. Neve’s arm rested on Alba’s shoulder as she played with Alba’s hair. Alba sighed contentedly. This really was everything she’d ever been waiting for.
Her mind flickered to Zainab and whether she and Kai were still enjoying their time together. She was excited for both of them to be blissfully happy at the same time. Happiness was always better shared, after all.
“Alba,” called an excitable voice from back towards the house.
Alba twisted, keeping hold of Neve, but knew who she’d find before her eyes landed on bright red sunglasses and newly dyed, turquoise hair. “Handel, good to see you,” Alba called back.
Neve curiously followed her gaze. She’d heard all about Handel from Alba—and from Zainab, who had a slightly less flattering take on the girl who, upon their first meeting, became so obsessed with Zainab that she wouldn’t leave her alone, even to go to the bathroom, and kept up a constant stream of conversation, even through a closed door.
Handel jumped the final foot between them, landing directly in front of Alba and Neve, beaming. “Alba, hey. How are you? Have you been here long? I have to introduce you to my boyfriend. It’s pretty new. I think I told you, but you’re going to love him. I know you are. His name is Peter. Wait, is this your girlfriend? You didn’t tell me you had a girlfriend! She’s pretty. Exactly your type, obviously. But an actual girlfriend. That you’ve brought here to meet everyone! That’s so fun. Did you bring Zainab, too? I haven’t seen her in ages. I just got my hair dyed. I’m sure she’ll love the color. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen her in a similar shade before.”
Neve blinked, looking from Handel to Alba as she tried to digest the sudden influx of information.
Alba laughed and hugged her closer. “Neve, this is my cousin Hanna. Also known as Handel’s Water Music.” She beamed, looking up at Neve proudly. “Handel, this is my girlfriend Neve.”
“Oh, you’re Neve! It’s really nice to meet you.” Handel shook Neve’s hand a little too vigorously for someone not trying to break another person’s hand. “You’re really pretty. Did you know that? Have you met Zainab yet? She’s really pretty too. Like, she could easily be a model. Don’t you think so? I think my boyfriend could be a model, too, but don’t tell him I said that. He gets shy about it.”
Alba cleared her throat, cutting off the train of comments. “And is he here with you, Handel?”
“Oh.” She froze, eyes wide over the top of her sunglasses, like a comic book character, before she started looking frantically around. “Where is he? Peter? Peter, where are you?”
The crowd parted and a tall, thin, incredibly nervous-looking guy walked towards them. Even amongst Alba’s tall family, he was slightly hunched, trying to blend in.
Alba smiled. Sometimes, couples surprised you.
“There you are,” Handel said delightedly, wrapping herself around his arm when he reached them. “This is my cousin Alba, and this is her girlfriend Neve. I’m pretty sure she’s been obsessed with Neve for a minute now, but the last time I asked, she said they were just friends, but today she tells me they’re girlfriends, can you believe that? I can’t believe I wasn’t the first person she called when that happened.”
Neve giggled slightly, pressing a soft kiss to the top of Alba’s head, and Alba didn’t care if it was too much in public, she pulled Neve even closer into her, kissing for a long moment.
“It’s really nice to meet you,” Peter said when Alba and Neve looked back at him. He looked a little embarrassed. Alba could only imagine Handel’s more outgoing personality led to a lot of situations like that.
Scott hadn’t needed to worry about Neve being ready for this family, but Alba was suddenly worried about whether Peter was.
“How come you only just got here?” Alba asked once the pleasantries had passed. She knew they had, otherwise she’d have heard from Handel much sooner.
Handel waved a hand in her direction. “Oh, we came with the Longs and it was a whole thing. Too many people, not enough car space. We had to divide ourselves up into more cars in the end.”
“Sounds painful,” Neve muttered, getting a laugh from Alba.
“No, it was completely painless in the end. Well, assuming you’re not counting emotional or mental pain,” Peter said.
Neve smiled and nodded politely, clearly feeling a little awkward about making a joke he hadn’t understood.
Alba looked around the crowd for any sign of the Longs. “I hadn’t actually realized it was more than the family this weekend.”
“Oh, yeah, when your parents picked the weekend, the Longs checked the area and found a nice place to stay,” Handel said. “And, you know, with us living so close, it just made sense to come together, but then there were boyfriends for days and not enough initial cars, and—”
Handel kept speaking but all of Alba’s attention was stolen by the way Neve had frozen in her arms. She looked up and immediately didn’t like the ashen color of Neve’s face.
She twisted Neve to face her. “Hey, you okay?”
Neve stared at her with wide eyes. At first, there was no sign that she’d understood the question, but, eventually, she shook her head.
Alba nodded seriously. “Hey, Handel, give us a minute. We’ll be right back.”
She grabbed Neve’s hand and quickly led her out onto the beach and further down the strip of houses, away from the view of anyone at her parents’ place.
Neve took a shaky breath.
“What’s going on?” Alba asked, holding her close.
“My ex is here,” she said, her voice tiny.
“What?”
“My ex. The one from the mall. Is here. At your party.”
“That cannot be possible.” Alba’s mind was spinning, attempting to make sense of what that would mean.
“Are you… But you don’t look anything alike.” Neve stared into the middle distance. “Genetics can be like that though.”
Alba cast her mind back. She thought through every conversation they’d ever had about Neve’s shitty ex. Surely Neve had mentioned her name at some point?
But she couldn’t place it.
“Neve?” she asked gently. “What’s your ex’s name?”
Neve’s nostrils flared. “Roxanne.”
“I don’t have a—but the Longs do.”
Neve blinked and looked up at her. “What?”
“Handel just said the Longs are here. They’re close friends of my family. And there’s a granddaughter named Roxanne, about our age.” Alba shook her head. “I had no idea it was her. I swear.”
“You know her.”
Alba winced. “Yeah. We’ve met a bunch of times. You know, things like this. She and Handel get along pretty well—Handel gets along with everyone, though. Or, well, talks to everyone.”
“Oh.”
Alba’s insides twisted. “Neve, I saw her, at the mall, the day she… After I’d taken you home, I went back to meet Handel. She’d run into Roxanne. I mean, it didn’t once occur to me that it might be her. The Longs… they’re gay.”
Neve stared at her, and Alba could see all of the lies crashing down on her. What was it about this girl that attracted all the liars and manipulators? She might not have mentioned Roxanne’s name, but she had mentioned her ex being too afraid to come out to her homophobic family. But the Longs weren’t homophobic. Even outside of the cute, old lesbian couple Alba’s parents were friends with, the rest of the family were delightful. They’d welcomed Alba’s coming out with open arms. They’d been instrumental in her figuring out she was a lesbian. She’d gone to marches and parades with them. Roxanne’s parents were always so sweet to her. Alba had seen Roxanne’s mom carrying an ‘I love my gay moms’ tote almost every time she’d seen her. Roxanne had nothing to be afraid of. Yet she’d spent months cosplaying someone who genuinely had to fear for her family ever finding out she was queer? Months keeping Neve hidden, why?
Neve dropped down to sit in the sand, staring out over the sparkling blue ocean as she processed. Alba could only imagine she was asking herself the exact same questions Alba was, only worse because she’d lived it. And she’d lived the breakup, Charlie, everything else that sucked lately.
Alba sat down beside her, going readily into her arms when Neve reached out to her.
It took a while, but, eventually, something switched in Neve’s expression, something hard and resolute, and she looked back at Alba. “It was never my fault.”
“Of course it wasn’t,” Alba agreed instinctively. She paused. “Uh, none of it was, but what specifically are we talking about?”
She leaned her head against Alba’s shoulder. “I spent nine months feeling like I wasn’t good enough, like I was something shameful. Not because I thought Roxanne’s family was homophobic—I’m not worried about homophobes thinking there’s something wrong with me. That’s all their problem. But because she wouldn’t tell the people who clearly weren’t homophobic about me. You know? She has friends who seem queer. It didn’t seem to be about the fact that I was a woman, so it had to be about who I was as a person. Then, with what she said when we broke up… I thought it was because I was ace, like she hadn’t wanted to admit she was with someone like me, you know? But it wasn’t at all, was it? She’s lucky enough to have a loving, supportive, accepting family—and extended community—around her, and she still wanted to hide me away like I didn’t matter. Like I was something dirty. She had no idea what she had, what a privilege she had. It was all her problem.”
Alba felt tears burning in her eyes. She wasn’t a massive happy crier, but something about seeing the pieces click together in Neve’s mind, in seeing her realize her worth, even after everything she’d been through, hit deeper than she could have ever imagined before Neve.
She reached one hand up to cup Neve’s cheek. “You are not the problem. Not in any of this.”
Neve took a shaky breath, looking like she finally knew, deep down, that that might be true, even if her heart was still struggling to fully accept it.
“You have never been the problem,” Alba reiterated.
She laughed, the noise a little wet and thick. “I don’t know whether I’d say that.”
“I would.” Alba pulled her closer and kissed her cheek.
“I appreciate that. But everyone is the problem sometimes. That’s just life.”
“Ugh. I mean, maybe. But, in terms of being who you are, in whether or not the people hurting you are something you deserved? You have never been the problem.”
Neve watched her, tears swimming in her eyes. “Thank you.”
“For what?” Alba was astounded by the level of gratitude in Neve’s voice. She didn’t think she’d done anything worthy of it.
“For seeing me for who I am and not wanting to change that. For wanting to be with me despite—”
“There is no despite. I want to be with all of you, always.”
“I know,” she said, laughing and crying at the same time. “And I didn’t know that was possible before. So… thank you.”
Alba laughed and cried with her, pulling her into a deep, loving kiss. She’d never wanted anyone so much, nor had she ever been so willing to ride into battle for someone, but all she wanted to do was rid the world of every bad thing that had ever hurt Neve or ever made her doubt her worth.
She pulled back seriously. “Do you want me to tell Roxanne to leave?”
“You really would, wouldn’t you?”
“Of course.”
“But you’ve known her longer than you’ve known me. Your family and her family…”
Charlie’s weird logic again. Alba couldn’t believe the number she’d pulled on Neve. “My family loves you. I love you. It doesn’t matter how long I’ve known someone, if who they really are is exposed to me, I’m not going to put up with behavior that hurts the person I love just because we have some history.”
Neve stared at her. “You love me?”
Alba laughed, a little shy. “Was that not obvious?”
“You love me,” she repeated, looking a little starstruck.
“Yes, Neve. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Alba looked at her, a giant grin spreading across her face. “Do you?”
Neve giggled cheekily. “Was that not obvious?”
Alba laughed and tackled her into the sand, hovering over her and kissing her, whispering I love you against her lips over and over again. It was the best feeling in the world hearing it against her own lips in return.