Chapter Twenty-Two
Hallie entered her mom’s kitchen the next morning to find Audrey deep in conversation with her mom and her brothers.
She was sitting at the counter, nursing a mug of coffee, and laughing.
The whole scene was better than Hallie could ever have dreamed—and it was a massive juxtaposition to seeing Audrey in kitchens with her own family, where she’d only ever looked devastated.
Wes hummed. “My pick would be the pop star girlies.”
Isaac laughed. “Your favorite thing about the internet is pop stars?”
“Yeah.” He frowned, momentarily concentrating on the homemade cinnamon rolls he was dishing up.
“Well, not the pop stars exactly. It’s the fans when the singers announce stuff.
Have you seen the internet on those days?
There’s so much excitement and anticipation, so much community. It’s awesome. I love it.”
“Yeah, okay, fine. Still a bit weird, but I get it.”
Hallie smiled and walked over to Audrey, not hesitating for a second as she put her hand on Audrey’s back, stroking over the soft sweater she was wearing.
Audrey’s smile was wide and stunning, that one she seemed to reserve for Hallie. “Sorry, I’ve stolen your mug.”
Hallie’s insides burned as she looked at the mug Audrey’s hands had been wrapped around. It was her festive, letter ‘H’ one. The one she’d wanted for Audrey just a few days ago.
Her mom shot her a pointed, knowing look, like she was perfectly aware of what Hallie had been thinking.
She laughed, looking back at Audrey. “Guess that means we’re sharing our morning coffee today.”
Audrey pushed the mug towards her. “I mean, you’re welcome to it, but there’s no caffeine.”
Hallie made a fake wounded sound. “Right. You’re one of those magical people who face the day without caffeine.”
“I don’t know about that.”
“No, no. No arguing. It’s true.”
Wes scoffed, shaking his head at the two of them. They both knew he loved it really, but he was definitely pretending to be disgusted at just how bewitched Hallie was by Audrey.
She couldn’t care less. They would already be in the car, driving back to Lansing, in two days. She was taking all the adoration she could get while Audrey was still with them.
Kissing her last night, falling asleep wrapped in her arms, was the happiest Hallie had felt in some time. And, now she knew what it was like to kiss Audrey, she was doing whatever she could to increase her chances of doing it again.
“How about you, Hallie?” Luca asked, walking around them with a pitcher of juice. “Favorite thing about the internet?”
“Communication,” she said quickly. Her mind didn’t even need to think about it. She had no idea what her answer would have been a week ago, but, now, with Audrey looking rested and radiant in front of her, it was always going to be the ability to stay in touch with that incredible person.
Luca chuckled. “That tracks.”
“I offered to help,” Audrey said quietly as the others moved around them, laying the table with an array of breakfast supplies.
Hallie leaned into her, smiling. “And I’d have murdered them in their sleep if they’d have let you.”
She laughed. “As someone who works in forensics, I feel compelled to tell you that I don’t think you’d get away with that.”
“Worth it.”
“Ah, I don’t know. It would be a lot harder to communicate with you…”
Hallie’s stomach dropped to her feet. Audrey was choosing that word for a reason, to point out, she, too, wanted to communicate with Hallie, to stay in touch, to put the internet to good use—the very best one Hallie could think of.
She still didn’t really know what this whole thing looked like once Audrey went home, but she desperately wanted to find out.
She glanced around to confirm nobody would see before she stole a quick, chaste kiss. Her lips barely grazed Audrey’s—hot from the coffee—but it was more than enough to have her heart racing and her insides melting. She was so glad her family was preoccupied with the table. “Okay. No murder.”
Audrey blushed and nodded, looking down. “I’m glad.”
Hallie held a hand out for her. She should probably be trying to be more subtle, more secretive about whatever was going on between them, but not a single part of her wanted to even try. Everyone knew what was going on. What did it matter if she acted like she wanted Audrey? “Shall we?”
Audrey took her hand. Right as her phone lit up on the counter and caused her to let out a heavy sigh, a crack in their otherwise blissful morning.
“Your mom,” Hallie said.
“Yep. Tenth time since I woke up.”
“Want me to tell her to fuck off?” Wes asked, reappearing in the kitchen and sweeping up Audrey’s mug to take to the table.
Even with the severity of the situation, Hallie couldn’t help smiling at how much her family were looking after Audrey. Of course, she could look after herself, but Hallie’s family adored her and the way they were showing that felt like something Audrey seriously needed.
She shot Wes a look, still holding Hallie’s hand. “No, thank you. I don’t think that would be the best approach.”
“What if we all tell her?” Isaac asked with a grin. “She can’t fight the entire Fuller family off.”
“Eh… You’d be surprised.”
“We’re not doing anything Audrey doesn’t want,” Hallie said firmly, noting the looks her brothers gave her—amused and proud and knowing.
Audrey squeezed her hand briefly. “It doesn’t really matter anyway. I think this whole thing doesn’t go away until I’m the one ready to tell her to fuck off, ready to walk away.”
“And, when that day comes,” Tracy said, wrapping an arm around Audrey’s shoulders, “we’ll all be there to help pick up the pieces.”
“Oh, that’s not necessary…” Audrey muttered, embarrassed and confused.
Hallie leaned into her again. “Just you try and stop us.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” she replied, holding Hallie’s gaze until the rest of the world felt like it had disappeared, shrinking down to just the two of them and anything they wanted to do with all the days of forever.
Luca laughed lightly. “Okay. Breakfast?”
Hallie smiled and nodded, keeping hold of Audrey’s hand as they headed for the table with the rest of her family.
The place was filled with the scents of Christmas—cinnamon, orange, fresh dough, sugar. Exactly as it should be on the morning they got their tree.
Originally, they’d been planning to go on Monday, after Hallie returned from the Sinclair thing, but today was the day the Sinclairs were getting their trees, and Hallie knew how hard it all was for Audrey.
So, she’d taken to her family group chat to see if everyone could switch their schedules up and do it today, and, Christmas miracle, it had worked.
So, while Audrey’s mother screamed at her in message after message about how she couldn’t leave them on tree day, how she was being selfish and not considering what it looked like for Michele, the Fullers were giving Audrey the very best tree day of her life.
◆◆◆
“I, uh, left my phone at your mom’s,” Audrey said quietly, as they clambered out of the car at the tree farm.
Hallie smiled, her hand finding Audrey’s with ease. “Great choice.”
“You think so?”
“I really do. You deserve some peace.”
She winced like part of her didn’t really agree with that but she was trying to reach the place where she could. Hallie could be patient. These things took time.
“You should ask the professional,” Luca called over in their direction, drawing both of their attention to where he was in conversation with Wes.
Wes grinned widely at Audrey and gestured to an elaborate spider web that had frosted over in the freezing temperatures. “Want to tell us which spiders are still knocking around at this time of year, Prof?”
Audrey laughed as she looked at the glistening web like it was a precious gem. “I’m not an arachnids specialist, but, if you want to talk to one, I have a colleague I can connect you with. She works at the University of Michigan, actually.”
“Oh, nice,” Wes said, like he’d love nothing more than to discuss spiders with an arachnologist. “What’s she like? Friendly? A little weird?” He sounded hopeful.
“I think you’d like her. We’re all a little weird, but she loves anyone who’s this excited to talk about spiders.”
“Then you can definitely pass my number along.” He shot Hallie a look. “See, we’re all making professor friends.”
She laughed and glared at him. It wasn’t quite the same thing and they both knew it.
“Okay,” Luca said, clapping his hands together. “Mom and Wes, me and Isaac, and Hallie and Audrey. These are our tree teams. We fan out, find some likely targets, and reconvene in an hour to whittle down our options.”
“As if any team other than Mom and Wes is going to win,” Isaac laughed.
Hallie was inclined to agree. The tree was going in their mom’s house and Wes was a tree surgeon.
This was, quite literally, his whole thing.
However, Hallie had nothing invested in winning by picking the best tree.
She loved coming here but, this year, she simply wanted to walk through the rows of trees, sipping hot chocolate, and listening to Audrey talk. That was winning.
The group split up and Hallie led Audrey directly to the furthest row of trees. She knew it would be the least populated area and she wanted a little more time for just the two of them.
Audrey smiled knowingly at her and kept one of her gloves off to twine her fingers through Hallie’s.
Every atom in Hallie’s body ached with wanting her, with not wanting to lose her. “How are you doing?” she asked, trying not to focus on the suffocating wave of emotions.
“Good. Thanks for doing this. You didn’t have to—any of you.”
Hallie stopped, her boots deep in the snow, and looked up at Audrey.
Her brown eyes were gorgeous in every light but there was something particularly stunning about them surrounded by snow and trees, nothing but warmth shining in them.
“We wanted to. You have no idea how excited they were to have you join us.”
Audrey ducked her head. “I don’t really know what I did to deserve any of this. You’re all so… good.”
“You don’t have to do anything to deserve people who care for you. I know that’s something you’ve been taught you have to earn, to work for every single second, but that’s not how love works, Audrey. People can just love and enjoy you because you exist.”
She nodded, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. She leaned forwards, her forehead resting against Hallie’s, cushioned by their hats. Hallie wanted to do this with her every year for the rest of time.
“I’ve never been to one of these places and just…
enjoyed it,” Audrey whispered, like she was admitting to a terrible crime.
“It’s always about the appearances and this weirdly competitive energy of who gets the best tree, and god forbid you pick one the others deem terrible. You’d never hear the end of it.”
When Audrey winced like she was remembering exactly what people had said about trees she’d picked, Hallie reached a hand up to stroke her cheek. It was cold and soft and gorgeous.
“You don’t have to worry about that here,” she promised. “All any of us wants from you today is for you to have fun. We don’t have to pitch any trees or we can pitch the worst possible option here and everything will be fine.”
Audrey breathed a laugh. “Is the worst possible option an absurdly large tree or a ridiculously tiny one?”
“Oh, it’s funnier if you go big. Wes loses it over how everyone’s read of tree size is shit in a forest.”
“Then, let’s definitely do that.”
“You got it.” She smiled. Standing with Audrey, holding her, breathing the same air, was like a dream, the best one she’d ever had. Her mind screamed at her that they needed to find a way to make this work. They couldn’t just walk away from each other.
“Would it be terrible if I kissed you right now?” Audrey asked, still a little unsure.
“It would be many things, but terrible would not be one of them.”
Audrey hummed and moved in slowly to kiss her.
They’d kissed a lot last night—on the balcony, in bed—but this one felt so much different. No longer exploratory. Urgent, but in a different way. Not rushed.
Audrey kissed her slow and deep. Wanting, burning, buzzing with the need to have her closer.
It did not feel like the kind of kiss you walked away from, the kind of relationship you just gave up on. Hallie had kissed more than enough people to know when something felt real, and every little part of being with Audrey felt real.