Chapter Four
With his mind intentionally blank, Ledger moved around the kitchen.
He cooked breakfast while wearing nothing but pajama pants and an apron.
With people in the house, Ledger wanted to make his video for this week’s upload before he had witnesses.
Alone, doing these cooking lessons didn’t seem as embarrassing.
Knowing someone could watch him in real life was mortifying.
He chopped peppers for omelets, explaining as he went.
“You can use as many or as few peppers as you like. Peppers are packed with vitamins, antioxidants, and fiber.” Ledger tossed the peppers into the skillet.
With his mind on lockdown, Ledger talked through the process, fully focused on the task and ensuring he didn’t miss any vital steps.
Finally, he showed off the finished product.
After taking a bite, he said his goodbyes and ended the recording.
A low chuckle rumbled through the room. “You really are the internet's silver daddy, aren’t you?”
A hot blush exploded across Ledger’s face as Kash strolled into the room. He also wore only the pajama pants Ledger loaned him. Ledger bit back a groan. He didn’t know how long Kash had watched him. “Since my hair started to gray when I was nineteen, I might as well use it to my advantage.”
Kash pulled out a stool at the kitchen island and sat. His gaze moved over Ledger’s face. Ledger knew what he saw. Solid white hair and beard, groomed and styled to be presentable for the world.
Ledger didn’t look away. He was too curious to see any reaction Kash showed. He didn’t get the chance.
Valon appeared from the hall. “I thought I smelled food.” He pulled out the stool next to Kash and sat.
Ledger’s throat swelled, seeing the pair so close to each other again. A scalding wave of jealousy washed over him before the massive guilt took over. Valon was his son. Kash was his ex. Ledger was a bad person.
Valon's gaze swept over them, obviously taking in the way they were dressed. He went back to focusing on the food. “It’s your famous omelet. Cool.”
Ledger set his plate in front of Valon. “You can have this one. I’ll throw together more.
How are you feeling this morning?” He did his damnedest to act like it was a typical morning.
He knew Kash was right. One day, likely sooner rather than later with the way Valon partied, he would need a soft place to land when he fell. That place should be with Ledger.
Valon dug into the food and talked as he ate. “I’m good. Just another after-concert celebration. I bounce back pretty quickly.”
It hit Ledger. Valon’s voice sounded horrible—like his throat hurt. He quickly poured Valon some coffee and doctored it to his liking. “Here. Drink this. Hopefully, the heat will ease your throat. Are you sure you’re good?”
“Yep.” Valon took a drink and went back to eating.
Ledger took a chance and sneaked a quick peek in Kash’s direction. He had to tear his gaze away. Kash was intensely focused on him—like Valon wasn’t even there.
Valon bumped shoulders with Kash. “Thanks for that public appearance last night. If you’d come through the back way, I would’ve missed an opportunity to have everyone talking today. Extra coverage is always a good thing.”
“Sure thing. What are ex-best friends for?”
The unbothered note in Kash’s voice had Ledger looking Kash’s way again.
By all accounts, there was no reason for Kash to put up with Valon’s antics.
Kash looked as unmoved as he sounded. While Ledger looked on, Kash stood, and circled the island to pour a cup of coffee for himself. The silence in the room was unnerving.
Ledger went to work on two more omelets to give himself somewhere to focus his attention. There was way too much spinning around inside his head. In the end, Ledger knew he had to take advantage of the time Valon gave him.
He focused on his son. “Have you decided whether we can spend the day together?”
Valon looked slightly panicked.
Ledger barely stopped himself from groaning. He knew what came next, and he was right.
“Did we make plans for today?”
Ledger took a calming breath. “Yes. Several times, actually. Each time you reiterated, you would be free.”
Valon sat there for a moment, as if searching his mind. Finally, he shrugged. “Oops. I have interviews all day. Maybe tonight after I’m done, if you’re still up. For now, you have Kash. You’ve always liked his company better than mine anyhow. You’ll be good.”
For a moment, Ledger just stared at Valon.
He tried hanging on to Kash’s advice. Ledger wanted any part of his son he could get.
Unfortunately, he hit his limit. “Okay. I’m done.
” He walked away, leaving everything behind, including eggs that were likely burning now.
The bedroom door closed behind him in a snap.
He needed a hot shower. Ledger felt numb.
He had to keep his mind on lockdown. If he looked at things too closely now, Ledger might walk away from everything in his life.
Ry had made it look easy. Maybe he had the right idea.
Kash did his best to finish cooking the breakfast Ledger had started.
He counted backwards from a hundred inside his head.
Valon didn’t know him any longer. He didn’t see the monster Kash had become.
If Kash snapped, it might not be a screaming match.
It was well past time someone should have talked to Valon with their fists.
The scrawny ass wouldn’t survive that kind of matchup with him.
Plus, he wouldn’t hurt Ledger like that.
He loved this son who didn’t deserve him.
“You can say whatever it is you’re thinking. Pretty soon you won’t have any enamel left on your teeth from grinding them so hard.”
Kash dumped the omelet on a plate without bothering to look at Valon. “Why? You know you’re being a shitty person. Like always, nothing I say to you will matter.”
A heartbeat of silence passed before Valon responded. He sounded every bit as unmoved as Kash expected. “He took your side, you know. Against his own son,” he added as if the gravity of his first statement hadn’t gotten the reaction he wanted. So he chose a fight they’d already had.
Kash finally met his stare. He let Valon see the man he dealt with now.
“I never would’ve asked that of him. We made our choices with open eyes.
If that’s why you’re treating your dad like garbage, that’s childish as fuck.
For real. I used to think nothing could make me think badly of you.
If you’re treating Ledger like shit over a guy you thought of as dead weight, then wow. That’s as pathetic as it gets, dude.”
Kash grabbed the plate he had made along with some silverware.
He followed Ledger’s path down the hall without looking back.
Nothing mattered anymore anyhow. Valon was the huge star he always dreamed of being.
Kash was a nomad with a large, ill-gotten bank account.
Ledger was the silver daddy he should be.
All three of them were on widely different paths. Kash didn’t need anyone. He never had.
Kash knocked on Ledger’s bedroom door. When no one answered, he peeked inside.
Steam rolled from the open bathroom door.
Kash stared at the doorway for much longer than intended.
Fuck it. He was a bad person. No need to pretend otherwise.
Kash stepped inside the room and closed the door behind him.
There was an accent chair in the corner with a small round table next to it.
Kash had to push the lamp to the edge to make room for Ledger’s plate.
The eggs would be as cold as ice before Ledger got around to eating them.
He had barely gotten settled before a soft knock tapped on the door.
Valon was the only other person there. Kash froze.
He didn’t think it would be a great idea for Valon to know Kash was inside his dad’s bedroom.
He stayed put, hoping Valon wouldn’t open the door.
When a minute passed with no more knocking, he chanced a peek out the door.
No one was there, but a fresh omelet and their abandoned coffees sat at the door.
Kash looked right and left before carrying the items into the room.
He grabbed the cold plate for himself and left the hot one for Ledger.
Kash sat back and ate, wondering what the hell was going on with Valon.
Why would he bring their coffees and leave them together?
Was he making a statement? Did he think Kash was fucking his dad?
Was this a passive-aggressive move? Goddamn it.
He hated the way he felt in this town. Always had.
Kash should have let Steel assign someone else to this job.
Drama averted. All these old feelings would have stayed buried in the shallow grave he had left them in.
Everything closed in around him. He felt like that angry, helpless teen who carried the weight of the world again.
To some extent, pushing Valon toward fame was Kash living vicariously through him.
Kash had known he would never be anything, but Valon would.
Now look at them. Ledger had been abandoned by everyone he loved.
Kash was filled with bitterness and didn’t care what happened to him.
Valon was… something. Kash hadn’t quite figured that one out yet.
Ledger stepped out of the bathroom and froze.
Water ran down his torso, soaked away by the towel around Ledger’s hips.
The unadulterated lust that slapped Kash nearly broke his thin civil veneer.
He never even thought about Valon anymore, but this.
This was something he sweated and twisted in the sheets for many a night.
Kash couldn’t look away. He didn’t have the strength.
However, Kash could try to make things less awkward. “I have breakfast. You need fortification for the day I have planned.” There was no hiding the innuendo. He wanted things. Kash had wanted things for a long damn time.
Ledger cleared his throat and grabbed a robe from the bed. He pulled on the robe before subtly dropping the towel from underneath.
Kash hid a smile. Ledger knew he was being hunted.
With his dignity restored, Ledger crossed the room. He eyed the plate that had been left for him. “Thank you.”
Kash tapped the empty plate he held with his fork. “I made this one. Valon made that one. It might still be lukewarm.”
Ledger’s gorgeous gaze moved from the plate to Kash. “Valon made this?”
Kash shrugged. “Maybe it’s an olive branch or whatever.” Kash stood. “Here. Take the chair.” While Ledger sat, Kash rearranged the coffee mugs, so Ledger’s was closer. “There. Breakfast of champions.”
Ledger’s smile made the ridiculous statement worthwhile. “So what do you have planned for the day?”
Kash sat on the bench at the end of the bed. “Like you said, I need to replace my stuff. If you have a shirt or something I can borrow, I’ll just wear my jeans from yesterday.”
Ledger pointed his fork toward a nearby door. “Check the closet. Take whatever you need.”
Kash needed the distraction. Ledger was too close and wore too little. He headed into the closet. It was huge. There was a lot of stuff inside, especially shoes.
Kash chuckled as he stuck his head out the door. “I never would’ve pegged you as a shoe hoarder.”
A hint of embarrassment crossed Ledger’s face. “Don’t judge me. I have my vices.”
Kash laughed as he dove back in. He grabbed a shoe and checked the size.
“Uh oh. We wear the same size shoes. You’re in trouble now.
I’m a thief.” Kash was only half joking.
He found pants and a shirt in his size. Kash stripped off the pajama pants Ledger had loaned him. He would do a load of laundry later.
Something shifted in the air.
Kash turned.
Ledger stood in the doorway. He didn’t look away. There were no blushes now. “Sorry. You got quiet, so I came to help. I guess you don’t need me after all.”
Kash held Ledger’s stare. He wanted to crack a joke and lighten the mood.
That didn’t happen. Kash opened his mouth, and the truth fell out.
“I’m pretty sure I’ll always need you.” Kash was a tad mortified.
He hadn’t meant to say that. Kash struggled to move on.
“Now that I know we’re the same size, I can just wear everything you own and wait for my luggage. ”
“You’re not doing that.” Ledger sounded calm.
In control. “I’m taking you shopping.” He stepped inside the closet, invading Kash’s space as he reached for an outfit behind him.
They were so close. Kash was rock hard. The moment Ledger gave him an inch to breathe, Kash pulled on the borrowed pants with lightning quickness before he embarrassed them both.
It was painful zipping his erection behind the tight jeans.
Ledger did not make it easier. His robe fell open, and Kash was treated to the full show. Damn. Yum. Unfortunately, Ledger dressed too quickly for Kash to enjoy watching for long.
With an inner sigh, Kash pulled on the t-shirt.
The moment his head poked through the hole, their gazes met.
What he saw in Ledger’s eyes nearly brought him to his knees.
He felt everything Kash did, and Kash wasn’t sure if Ledger would ever admit it.
For the millionth time in Kash’s life, he was literally inches from a beautiful dream.
As always, there was no chance of it coming true.