31. Chapter 31
Chapter thirty-one
Lauren
The morning after Rowan’s surgery, Wyatt was already behind the counter when I came downstairs to open the café.
“You’re here early,” I said, giving his shoulders a squeeze.
He nodded and kept measuring grounds for the next pot.
“I owe you an apology and an explanation,” I said.
His hand stilled mid scoop. He finished dumping the grounds into the filter before turning to face me. He looked tired, which was understandable given the hour, but the dark circles didn’t bother me as much as his blank expression. He had his walls up, something he’d never done before with me. I couldn’t blame him, but the lack of warmth in his eyes cracked my heart.
“I’m sorry,” I said as my throat clogged with emotion. “I did pull back from our friendship after you quit. I was protecting myself without even realizing it, but I never meant to hurt you.”
“I know,” he said, gently. “But you scared the shit out of me with that note. I thought I’d never see you again.”
He looked devastated, which made me feel even worse about how I’d treated him.
“Honestly, I was crying so hard when I wrote that note, I can barely remember what I said. I’m sure it was terrible.”
“Mostly just a lot of apologizing. I’d show you, but I threw it in the dumpster with the ‘For Sale’ sign.” The corners of his lips quirked up and some of the tension in my chest eased.
“Good. That’s where it belongs. I have no plans to leave Peace Falls, and I promise I’ll be a better friend from now on. Assuming you still want me in your life after what I pulled.”
He shook his head and chuckled. “You’re annoyingly easy to forgive.”
I hoped that was true. Not only with Wyatt, but with all my friends. I knew earning Aiden’s forgiveness would take more than a simple apology, but in time I’d show him how serious I was about staying, and maybe, just maybe, building a family together.
“So, we’re good?” I asked, opening my arms.
Wyatt stepped forward and wrapped me in a tight hug. “Just don’t go Houdini on me again.”
“I promise,” I said, stepping from his embrace. “And to prove how serious I am about fixing our friendship, I want you to take over the search for your replacement here. Post the job wherever you think best. Hire whomever you think will work out. Because I want what’s best for you.”
“Same,” he said, his eyes brightening with that indescribable quality that made me trust him immediately. “Which is why I intend to hire two full-time employees. Assuming you can afford it.”
“I can. I was just—”
“Scared?”
“Yes,” I said, taking a deep breath. “I still owe you an explanation for why I acted the way I did.”
Wyatt shook his head. “No, you don’t. You can tell me anytime you want, but not today. Not when you think you owe it to me.”
“Are you sure?” I asked, sounding far too relieved. It’s not that I didn’t want Wyatt to know about my childhood, it’s just that I’d never found the words to talk about it with anyone but Aiden. Even then, I’d blurted out fragments because something like rain boots triggered a memory.
“I accept your apology, Lauren. Now let’s get moving, or we’re in for some grouchy customers who have to wait for their caffeine fix.”
“There’s something else. Are you free Sunday after closing?”
“I am,” he said carefully. “What do you need?”
“A friend,” I said, “who can lift heavy objects.” Because even though I knew moving in with Aiden was the only way for us to move forward, the thought of leaving my tiny apartment filled me with the same fear I had every time I shoved my belongings into garbage bags to hop to another foster home. “I’m going to ask Cammie too.”
He smiled at me. “Sure. Whatever you need.”
After the early morning rush, I made my way to the hospital to visit Rowan. I’d seen her briefly after I left Aiden’s yesterday, but she’d been on too many painkillers for a serious conversation. When I arrived in her room, she was propped on her side, tucked between two mountains of pillows. Rose had filled the tiny room with so many flowers, I fought the urge to sneeze.
“Hey,” Rowan said, when she spotted me in the doorway. “I was hoping you’d stop by. I made Cal go into the office, but now I’m bored out of my mind.”
“This should help,” I said, placing a new release from her favorite romance author on the bedside table next to several cards, one with an intricate design that had to be handmade by Poppy. “How are you?”
“I felt worse after the accident.”
And yet she hadn’t told me about it until after she’d been released from the hospital. I’d been angry and hurt that she didn’t lean on me then, which was exactly how she probably felt now.
“Aiden wants me to move in with him,” I said, because apparently the only way I could talk about difficult topics was to shout them out of nowhere. “Not move in, move in. At least not now. I don’t know if we’re together or not. He just wants to make sure I’m not running again. But he also said he likes being around me. And moving in together makes sense, especially after the baby is born, but I’m scared to move. Which I know is stupid since I put the whole damn building up for sale.”
Rowan nodded and winced.
“I’m the worst friend ever,” I said, collapsing into the chair by her bed. “On top of everything I did this week, you’re clearly in pain, and I’m rambling about my problems.”
“Stop it,” she said in a tone I’d never heard her use before. She sounded so much like Poppy, I glanced behind me to make sure it was just the two of us in the room.
Rowan held out her hand to me, and I took it. She gave my fingers three quick squeezes and one long one, our secret handshake from middle school, the one that said, “You’re my best friend. I got you.” I returned the handshake and settled back in the chair, clutching her hand like a lifeline.
“Now tell me why you’re scared.”
“Because the apartment is the only place I ever lived where I felt safe,” I answered in a quiet voice.
Rowan’s eyes filled with tears, but her voice was steady when she spoke. “It makes sense you’d be nervous to leave, especially to move in with someone you have a complicated relationship with. Have you told Aiden you’re scared?”
I shook my head. “Moving in together shows Aiden he can trust me to stay. Honesty, I can’t picture a better place to raise the baby, so I know it’s something I need to do. I don’t want my past messing up my life any more than it already has, but I’m terrified.”
“When are you moving?”
“Sunday.”
“Oh.” She looked slightly alarmed, which made my heart pound.
“You think it’s too soon?”
“No. I just realized I won’t be able to help you. I’m out of commission for a while.” She motioned to the wall of pillows between us, like she needed an excuse for not lugging my crap from Karma to Aiden’s. “But if you’re afraid, I say you’re smart to do it as soon as you can. Don’t overthink it.”
Rowan was a planner to a fault. She probably knew what she’d be having for dinner a week from now. Scratch that. She’d probably made all her meals for the month and frozen them since she knew she’d be recovering from surgery. “How many pain meds are you on?”
“Just enough I’m not crying. Trust me, they aren’t impacting my thought process at all. You said having a life with Aiden and the baby was more than you’d ever let yourself imagine. So don’t bother imagining it. Just live it.” She gave my hand a hard squeeze. “But Lauren, you have to be honest with him. If you’re afraid, tell him. And you have to be honest with yourself about your feelings for him. Aiden and the baby aren’t a package deal. You can just be co-parents.”
“I think I might be falling for him,” I said so quietly, I could barely hear myself.
“I think you already have,” she said with a small smile. “Either way, you should call your realtor and have the listing for the building taken down.” She cocked her eyebrow at me.
I felt my face heat. I had asked Wyatt to get rid of the sign, but I still hadn’t officially removed the listing. I told myself I just dreaded talking to the realtor after ignoring his incessant calls and texts. He’d likely be pissed because of all the work he’d done for nothing, but really, I was keeping my exit plan open. Rowan didn’t say anything. She didn’t have to. We both knew I was hedging. The fact she’d taken the time post-surgery to look up the listing proved she understood me better than anyone.
After the silence stretched between us, she gave my hand a final squeeze and dropped it. “Love of his life, Lauren. You’re either all in or not at all.”