City of Sin - Chapter 61 #2
Mason had left me a note the morning after he had slept at my place.
I ran my finger along the jagged edge of the page.
Mason had read through my notebook. He had read through all my marketing ideas.
Is that why he had been so persistent after I drove away on our first date?
Had he just wanted information about what Kruger was doing?
So he could steal clients? For what, Blue Media or maybe even himself?
I felt cheap. And stupid. Of course Mason didn't actually like me. He was just using me. I put my notebook back into my purse. He was Mason Caldwell. And I was just me. He used women for a living. All he knew was paying women for sex.
When Mason turned the corner and walked into the kitchen I just stared at him. He came over to me and leaned down for a kiss.
My knees felt weak. I wanted to grab the back of his neck and pull him down to me.
I wanted to kiss him. Because this asshole had tricked me into falling in love with him.
So instead of punching his beautiful face, which he deserved, I wanted to rip all his clothes off.
This felt worse than Patrick. Worse because I hadn't even guessed what was going on. Mason was right. I was naive.
I put my hand on his chest so that his lips didn't meet mine.
He smiled down at me. "In the mood for more than kissing? I think I have time for that."
"You're disgusting." My voice sounded small. Why did I always sound so pathetic whenever I needed to be strong?
"You didn't think what we did was disgusting last night." He gave me his panty dropping smile.
"I need to go." I nodded, as if encouraging myself that I was making the right decision.
"Wait, what?"
"I made a mistake. This was a mistake. I'm sorry." And why did I always apologize? What on earth was I apologizing for? I turned away from him. I needed to find my coat and my shoes. I needed to get out of his apartment. I slipped on my boots that were next to the door.
"Bee?" He put his hand on my shoulder. "Are you okay?"
I pushed his hand off of me. "Am I okay? Of course I'm not okay." I could feel the tears falling down my cheeks. I was such an idiot. I kept falling for the wrong guys. The worst possible guys.
"What's wrong? Baby..."
I put my hand up so he wouldn't touch me. "You know what's wrong."
"No, I don't. I asked you to move in with me. I asked you to be my girlfriend. I would have guessed we were in a good place."
"Exactly, Mason. You made me fall in love with you."
A smile spread across his face. "You're in love with me?"
"No. I mean yes. I don't know! You tricked me."
"I didn't trick you." He took another step toward me.
"If all you wanted was sex and information, fine. But I asked you not to break my heart. You didn't have to do this. You didn't have to take it this far. You made me fall in love with you."
His eyebrows lowered slightly. "Bee..."
"Don't you dare throw some lame excuse at me. I heard you on the phone."
I watched his Adam's apple rise and fall. "You don't understand."
"Were you or were you not talking to John Landry?"
"I was, but..."
"That was my idea, Mason. You stole my idea. You read my notebook."
"I didn't mean to steal your idea. It just slipped out when I was on the phone with him. It was the first thing that came to my head because it's a really, really good idea. I accidentally saw it in your notebook the other morning. I wasn't snooping, I was just trying to get..."
"Do you think I'm a complete idiot?"
"Of course I don't. You know how I feel about you."
That you really like me? He was so full of shit. "And how did you get John Landry's phone number? Is that why you came to the office that night when I was working late? To steal my contacts?"
"No. It wasn't like that. You know none of this was ever like that."
"Oh, is that where you drew the line? Not stealing phone numbers of clients off my computer?"
"Bee, if you would just give me a second to explain..."
"Is that why you agreed to the blind date in the first place? Because you knew I worked for Kruger? You set me up."
"I didn't know you worked for Kruger. All I knew was that you were a secretary."
"So what, you just randomly decided to try the whole dating thing? You were sick of living your life of sin? What?"
"Bee..."
"What, Mason? Why the hell did you even go on that date in the first place? You can have any girl you want in this stupid city. Why did you go on a date with someone like me?"
"For two Knicks tickets! Jesus." He turned away from me and ran his hand through his hair.
"What?" I didn't know what he was going to say. But I hadn't expected that.
He turned back toward me and ran his hands down his face. "Carter and Marie gave me two Knicks tickets for promising to take you out and show you a good time."
"You're lying. They wouldn't do that. I'm not some charity case."
"I don't think you are. But what do I know, right? I'm just your rebound aren't I? Isn't that why Carter and Marie set you up with me? To get over Patrick?"
"Yeah, but..."
"Well, great. I'm glad I could help." He was pissed now. He had let me yell and scream and berate him. He had remained calm the whole time. But when he mentioned Patrick, something changed in his face. Suddenly it felt like I was in the wrong.
"Mason."
"You were still in love with him when we met. You're probably still in love with him. So what the hell are you doing getting mad at me and saying that you love me? You don't love me. You love him."
Is that why he was so upset? He didn't believe that I loved him?
"And I didn't trick you. I accidentally saw what you wrote in your notebook. I accidentally pitched your idea to John Landry. But you don't want my excuses. So I don't know why I'm bothering. Why don't you just run back to Patrick. Clearly that's where you belong."
"I don't love Patrick. I don't want to be with Patrick."
"Then maybe you should find someone who you deem fit for your time. Because clearly it's not me. I have better things to do than stand here and argue with you."
"What, like cater to your new account? The one you got with my idea?"
"Don't act so innocent, Bee. Like you didn't get everything you wanted from me? Like you weren't using me?" He laughed.
"What are you talking about?"
"You only wanted to be with me because of my money. Well guess what? My dad cut me off. I'm not getting his inheritance. Without the Sword account I'd be as broke as you. I'm not a catch, I'm a fucking mess. You're better off without me."
"I don't care about your money. I didn't even know you had any money when I started falling for you. I just liked you for you. Money doesn't matter to me."
"So you just spread your legs that fast for anyone? You're easy, Bee. You're just like every other girl in this fucking city."
"And you're just like every other arrogant, pretentious bastard."
"Guilty."
"I never should have trusted you," I said.
"Don't give me that shit. I told you I wasn't a nice guy. You had me pegged from the very start. It just made you want me even more. And it was damn fun stringing you along, waiting for you to beg me."
"So this whole thing was a game to you?"
"A game I always win."
"You're such an asshole."
"Speaking of assholes, I need to go tell my boss that I quit. Thanks, sugar, I really owe you one." He walked over to the door.
"I know you weren't pretending, Mason. I know you feel something more than that for me. It wasn't a game. I know you feel it too. Can we please just talk about this for a second?" He has to feel it too.
"Fucking is my hobby. You were right from the start. You shouldn't have gotten attached."
"So that's it? You've gotten what you wanted and now you're done with me?"
"Like I said, you were easy."
I should have seen it coming. I had gotten so many warnings. I had seen warning signs myself. But I didn't pay attention to them. He completely blindsided me. It was easy for that to happen when you let yourself be vulnerable. I had fallen in love with another asshole.
"I hope you enjoyed your game, Mason." I grabbed my jacket and ran out the door.
This time he didn't call after me. He had gotten what he wanted.
He used me and cast me aside like a hooker.
Because that's all he knew. He was a sad, pathetic excuse for a man.
And I was an idiot for thinking he'd change for me.