Homecoming - Chapter 15
Monday
Matt
Kennedy didn’t come by practice. And I knew I wasn’t the only one feeling let down.
Jefferson hadn’t made a single kick all afternoon.
It was like Kennedy alone held the power to help him do it.
And the whole team’s morale seemed down.
I had to fix this before homecoming. The last thing we needed was a loss on their big day.
I walked over the moat and into Tanner’s apartment. My stomach growled when I saw the feast that had been laid out on the dining room table.
Tanner was sitting there reading the newspaper. “Ah, you’re here!” he said as he folded it up and set it aside.
“What’s with the spread?”
“Nigel was in a spicy mood.”
“Ew, what?”
Tanner pointed to the food. “It’s all at least a 7 out of 10 on the Scoville scale. So watch out. Your unrefined palette may not be able to handle it.”
“I can handle spicy food.” It had taken me eating a lot of Mrs. Alcaraz’ cooking back in high school, but I’d gotten used to it. She’d definitely had fun torturing me with that extra spicy omelet when I spent the night though. Hopefully this food wasn’t as spicy as those death eggs.
“We’ll see about that.” Tanner poured me a glass of milk all the way to the brim. “Just in case.”
“Very funny.” I sat down and put some rice on my plate. “You know I can handle heat.”
“I have no way of knowing that.”
“I’ve eaten at Kennedy’s house before.” I took a bite of the white rice. I thought it was plain, but my mouth was already on fire. What the hell had Nigel done to this rice?
“Ah. Speaking of Kennedy, do you know a Felix Green?” Tanner asked.
“What?” I croaked, trying not to grab the glass of milk.
“He’s an old friend of mine.”
“An old friend of yours ?” I put some chicken on my plate, hoping that would cool my mouth down. But a bite of that just made it worse.
“Indeed. Rumor has it that the two of you schooled together as youths.”
“Um…we went to high school together.” I started coughing.
“That’s what I said.”
I laughed, but I’m pretty sure it was more of a hiss because my mouth was literally on fire. “That’s definitely not what you said.”
“Well, regardless, is he a good chap?”
“You just said you know him.” I cleared my throat and ate a green bean that might as well have been a chili pepper.
Tanner shrugged. “In the art scene, sure. But is he a good man?”
“Yeah. He’s a good guy.” I started choking again.
“Fantastic stamp of approval. He’ll be in town later this week. And I’m thinking of inviting him out to dinner. Good heavens, you’re sweating like a whore in church, young lad. Drink your milk.”
I hated that he was right. But if I didn’t drink something soon my head was going to explode. I took a huge gulp of milk.
Tanner looked very satisfied with Nigel’s disgustingly spicy food. He took a bite of the same chicken I’d eaten and didn’t look at all phased.
“So, just the two of you?” I asked when my throat finally calmed back down.
“Hm?” Tanner looked up from his food.
“Just you and Felix going to dinner?”
“Nonsense. My art collection barely fits as is.” He gestured to one of the statues covered with a sheet.
“So…why are you having dinner with him?”
“I’m not. It’ll just be Kennedy and him. Somewhere with a hotel upstairs so they can shag and we can tell if it’s true love right away.”
“What the hell?”
“I just got your blessing…”
“Telling you he’s a good guy isn’t a blessing for Kennedy to fuck another guy.”
“Is it not?”
“No! What the hell is wrong with you? Kennedy had a crush on him in high school.”
“Exactly. I’m thinking they might be a good match.”
“What the hell is your game here?”
He smiled.
“Stop smiling.”
Tanner’s smile just grew. Like it did when he was up to no good.
“What’s wrong with your face?”
“I’m quite happy. And you will be too soon enough.”
I sighed and pushed away from the table. “Stop interfering with my life.”
“Trust me, I’m helping.”
“How is luring Kennedy to a dinner in the hopes that she’ll bang her ex-crush helping me?”
“You’re not thinking of the bigger picture,” he said. “I promise, I have it all under control.” He started smiling at me again.
I glared at him. “I’m going to bed.”
“But you barely touched your food,” Nigel said from behind me.
I jumped. I hadn’t seen him. Today he was actually doing a good job at blending into the wall. “It’s too spicy, man.”
A smile crept across his face. “I love it spicy.”
Okay. Nope. I’d had enough. “You’re both acting extra weird today,” I said.
“No we’re not,” they both said at the same time.
“Even that was weird. What the hell is going on? Everyone’s lost it. First Kennedy. Then Poppy. And now you two.”
“Maybe you need a bath…” Nigel started.
“I do not need a bath!” I exhaled slowly. They were both looking at me like I was insane. But they were being fucking nuts. “I’m going to make myself very clear here. Kennedy is not going out with Felix.”
“But…” Tanner started.
“Period. And I like showers.”
“But you’re all sweaty…” Nigel started.
“Baths are for infants!” I yelled.
“That isn’t true…”
“Fine. And women with a glass of wine and a book!”
“I’ll bring you wine and a book then,” Nigel said.
“I don’t want wine and a book!”
“But you just said…”
“I don’t want a bath!” I screamed.
“Matt, calm yourself,” Tanner said. “You’re acting hysterical.”
“Hysterical? You’re the ones who are hysterical!”
Nigel and Tanner calmly looked at each other.
Fuck. Fine, maybe they weren’t acting hysterical right this second. But they were freaking crazy. I took a deep breath. “I just need a night alone,” I said to Nigel. And then I turned to Tanner. “And I need you to tell me you’re not setting the girl I love up with her high school crush.”
“I can’t promise that,” Tanner said.
“What the fuck, Tanner!”
“A bath and some green juice will fix the hysteria,” Nigel said calmy.
God, I wanted to yell so many obscenities. And flip the table. And shove a bunch of spicy food down Nigel’s throat. But I was pretty sure he’d love that, so I stayed completely still. “I’ll be in my room,” I said. I gave them each one final hard stare and then walked away.
“I’ll be by for your bath in just a moment!” Nigel called after me. “I just have to book that restaurant for Kennedy and Felix’s sex date.”
I was going to kill both of them. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to stop myself.
***
My call to Kennedy went unanswered again.
I knew she kept pushing me away.
But she’d also kissed me back.
And wasn’t that proof enough that she didn’t want to end things?
Her words after I’d told her I was planning on proposing rattled around in my head. “I think that some things were always meant to be. And I’m not the kind of person that stuff like that happens to.”
What did she mean by that? What things were always meant to be that didn’t involve her and me? Because this felt meant to be to me.
There was a knock on my door.
I didn’t bother to tell whoever was on the other side of the door to go away. Because it was either Tanner or Nigel, and both of them loved walking in uninvited.
Tanner opened up the door. Both he and Nigel strolled in. Tanner handed me one of the glasses of scotch he was holding.
“A peace offering?” I asked.
“Just a boys’ chat.”
I stared at him. “That’s not a thing. I’m pretty sure it’s a girls’ chat.”
“But we’re men and we need to talk,” Nigel said.
“Okay. I’m guessing this is about an apology?”
“You can apologize to us later,” Tanner said. “But first…”
“I’m not apologizing to you. You should both be apologizing to me.”
Nigel shook his head. “All I did was try to bathe you.”
“That actually sounds worse than what it was,” I said. “But that’s not what you need to apologize for.” Or maybe it was. I didn’t even know anymore.
Tanner took a sip of his drink and then set it on my nightstand. “You’re really angry that I’m trying to help you find true love?”
“You’re trying to set Kennedy up with Felix. That’s not true love.”
He sat down on the edge of my bed with an exaggerated sigh. “Matt, you can’t give your heart to Kennedy.”
“I already did.”
He shook his head. “It’s impossible. Because I know for a fact that you’re still in love with Brooklyn. And you can’t love two women at the same time, despite what reality TV wants you to think.”
“Brooklyn’s dead.”
“That doesn’t mean those feelings just vanish.”
“You think I don’t know that? What the hell do you think I’ve been doing for the past 16 years? And I’m finally happy and you…”
“But are you finally happy?”
“Yes…”
“You can really get down on one knee and propose to Kennedy? Let her walk down the aisle and say ‘I do’ to her? Father her children? Have a whole life with someone when your heart still belongs to another?”
“I love Kennedy.”
“Maybe on some level you do. But she isn’t the love of your life. And saying that you love Kennedy doesn’t answer my questions.”
He didn’t need to tell me that. His questions were stuck in my head now. Could I really get down on one knee? Marry her? Have children with her? When I still loved Brooklyn? I just stared at him.
A smile slowly stretched over his face. “You see…I’m the voice of reason,” Tanner said.
“I don’t think that’s a phrase that suits you very well.
” But his words were tumbling around in my head.
Not the voice of reason garbage. But all those promises I’d be making to Kennedy if I proposed.
All the promises to Brooklyn I’d be breaking.
I’d said goodbye to her at her gravestone.
I thought getting the ring back would feel like a piece of my heart was back too. But…was it?
I’d been so sure a few days ago. But with Kennedy pushing me away and now Tanner’s stupid words in my head… Earlier he said it wasn’t true love. That it couldn’t possibly be. I don’t know why he thought he was an expert on any of this. He definitely was not.
But…was I actually over Brooklyn?
I took a sip of my drink.
Could I ever give someone else my whole heart?
I took another sip.
I thought I could. But sitting here with Nigel and Tanner staring at me after those questions? I felt like a liar. All that was left of Brooklyn in this world was the promises I’d made to her. The promises I’d kept. If I broke them…what would be left? I didn’t want her to disappear completely.
I tried to shake the thought away, but it clung to my chest, wrapping around what little heart I had left.
I just wanted to be happy. But could I ever truly be happy knowing I broke those promises to Brooklyn?
“You still love Brooklyn,” Tanner said, as if he could read my mind. “And you always will.”
“So I’m doomed to a life of sorrow?”
“No,” Nigel said. “You can hang out with me.”
“Nigel!” Tanner said. “Can’t you see this isn’t the time or place? Matt needs to be alone to think about the fact that his heart still belongs to Brooklyn.”
Honestly…I’d rather hang out with Nigel than think on that. But the questions kept spinning around in my head.
“Matt, I just want you to sit in this room for the rest of the week and ponder those questions,” Tanner said. “Nigel will bring you food and anything else you require.” He turned to go.
“I’m not staying in this room for the rest of the week. I have work, man.”
“Can’t you do it remotely?”
Yes. But I didn’t want to. “No, I can’t.”
“I can bring a fax machine by that you can use. Since you love them,” Nigel said.
“Faxes won’t help.”
Nigel looked horrified.
“I mean…I have a few meetings. And practice every afternoon. All of that has to be done in person.”
“In person meetings are better,” agreed Nigel. “Face to face.”
Tanner glared at Nigel. “Fine. You may leave to go to your meetings. But I am making some plans for us, so try to keep your schedule as clear as possible.”
“That was very vague,” I said.
“I also may be out of town for a day. Two tops.” He shook his head. “No, a day will do. Actually, what are your plans for this weekend?”
“It’s the homecoming game.”
He clapped his hands together. “Homecoming! Genius! Nigel, come with me. We have work to do!”
My phone buzzed and the two of them froze.
Kennedy had finally texted me back: “Dinner tomorrow?” I’d been waiting all day for this text. And now Tanner’s stupid questions were rolling around in my head. I showed the text to Tanner.
He looked absolutely horrified. “Say no,” he said.
“I’m not doing that.”
“Say you have bath plans,” Nigel offered.
He wishes. “I’m having dinner with her.”
“You really shouldn’t,” Tanner said. “Just tell her you’re busy.”
“I’m not busy.”
“But you will be soon.”
I texted her back confirming before they could stop me. Nigel threw himself on the bed and tried to wrestle my cellphone out of my hands. And by try to, I mean he did it in three seconds flat.
“What the hell was that, Nigel?” I said. I didn’t realize he was so quick. Or so weirdly strong. Why had he made me carry that fax machine?
Nigel stood up on my bed and stared down at the phone. “It’s too late.” He handed the phone to Tanner.
Tanner shook his head. “This will not do. What restaurant will you be dining at?”
“I’m not telling you that.”
“Well, just make sure to let her down easily. Nigel, get off his bed.”
Nigel reluctantly climbed off my bed.
I wasn’t breaking up with Kennedy. I could picture saying yes to all of Tanner’s questions. But then I pictured Brooklyn’s face. And her voice echoed around in my head. “Liar.”