23. Sol
Sol
“ I see you got your appetite back.” I glanced over at Fatz just as he bit down into the honey bun from earlier.
“Yeah, all a nigga needed was just a little action to snap me out of the bullshit that was weighing me down.” He chuckled with half of the honey bun in his mouth.
“I’ll give you a pass right now, but you know I don’t allow eating in the whip.” I frowned, trying to tune out Fatz’ heavy smacking.
“I want you to get some help. That shit you said before the shooting not normal.” I switched lanes and glanced over at him.
Fatz sighed roughly then pressed the button to let his window down. He sparked up a blunt and looked out the window.
“I told you, I’m good now. That shit come in waves,” he uttered.
“Yeah, I know…I’ve been watching you,” I stated seriously.
“Everybody thinks the muscle is what runs these fucked up streets. It’s not our fists, guns, or the threats we make, Fatz.” I paused, cracking my neck from side to side.
“It’s the brain, your brain is the throne. Everything Raft built, the respect, fear, and empire that he left behind…came from up here.” I tapped the side of my temple.
“The real power is always in the mind…without it? You’re nothing but a loaded gun in a shaking hand.” I looked over at his side profile.
He didn’t respond, but I saw the way his jaw clenched. Fatz’ lip twitched as if he wanted to protest against what I was saying.
“You got to protect your mind, like you protect me and your momma.” I nudged him with my arm.
“You lose your mind Fatz, everything falls with it. Doesn’t matter how tough you are, how many niggas out here that fear you.
If your brain turns on you, that’s a war you won’t fuckin’ win.
So I’m not saying this shit to tell you to man up or be strong.
Fuck all that tough nigga talk. I’m telling you to get help, real help, Fatz.
A therapist, a doctor…somebody who knows how to untangle what’s choking you inside.
That shit not weakness, it’s strategy and survival.
It’s the kind of power most men are too scared to reach for.
Ain’t shit to be ashamed of either. You know I don’t waste my breath with nobody.
I love you, you my blood, and I want what’s best for you.
You could have been come to me with all of this. ” I shook my head.
“I didn’t want to be no bur?—”
“You ain’t a burden, so dead that shit. I ain’t got that much on my plate to the point where I can’t help you figure this shit out.
It’s been us together, Fatz. Raft died, you was the main nigga to help me cope…
I helped you cope. I know that his death was hard on you, especially since y’all started to bond late.
We all we got, which is why I don’t want to subject us to this street shit forever like him,” I admitted.
“I’m gonna fight. I got good insurance, I just been lazy not caring to set any appointments.” He rolled his window all the way down.
“I spazzed out seeing my momma in the trap house. Killed them niggas and?—”
“You had them take her to a nutty facility. I don’t blame you for keeping hope alive.
We only get one momma, but you can’t allow her to navigate your moods and emotions.
Don’t lose faith in her, Fatz. But don’t be surprised either when she keeps disappointing you.
Somethings you just have to expect from certain people, no matter how much you love them. ”
“You right.”
The rest of the drive to Casper’s warehouse was dead quiet.
Fatz was lost in his own thoughts as my fingers drummed against the leather steering wheel.
Fatz broke the silence to tell me that one of our men texted in code that the two bodies at the rec center was some young niggas not even eighteen yet that ended up getting capped.
There was only one man in this state that moved like that. Casper moved swift and well calculated like he was performing surgery any time he put the word out for something to be done. His way of sending a message was with bodies turning up dead. Today was a warning.
There was no other reason besides me crossing the line in his eyes why he did what he did.
“I hope I don’t got to end up capping this old nigga.” Fatz spat as I pulled in front of the warehouse.
“Chill,” I told him.
I eyed Casper’s men that was already outside, they stood armed like statues.
They didn’t move when we hopped out the car, they just watched with icy looks plastered on their bitch ass faces.
Shit didn’t move me, the way I saw it…If Casper wanted me dead, I wouldn’t be here.
Nigga wanted attention, he wanted for me to answer to him.
I gave him that off the strength of what I viewed him as.
I respected Casper, and in return, I met him with disrespect.
Fatz and I walked in through the wide metal doors without being frisked for guns although we had it on us.
I eyed the crates that were stacked damn near to the ceiling with artillery and whatever else that Casper had illegally shipped to him.
Instead of taking the elevator, we climbed the steps.
Fatz complained with each step that we took.
Two more guards were outside of Casper’s office door.
They let us pass without a word. Casper set behind his massive oak desk rocking a black suit with no tie.
His cigar burned between his fingers as he rubbed down his salt and pepper waves.
He smiled slow and deviously like he was proud of his actions from earlier.
Fatz remained by the door as I stepped further into his office.
“I have loved you like a son, boy. Fed you, protected you, and added to the power you possess now after Raft.” He slammed his hand against his desk after the first set of words left his mouth.
“And what the fuck did you do in return?” His voice rose before he continued.
“Why my daughter, Sol? Why my Yeremy?” He leaned back in his seat like I gut punched him.
I clenched my jaw, then stepped forward.
This visit was going to be short and straight to the fucking point.
Old heads loved to be dramatic as fuck, I understood the fucked-up position that I was in.
By the end of this conversation, I would take accountability.
In my own set of facts, Casper needed a reality check.
“She ain’t yours to control. Last I checked, wasn’t no chain around her neck.” But my hand was… I laughed inwardly.
He exhaled a sharp laugh.
“She’s mine by blood, which means you outta pocket for putting your hands on her like she one of your hood rat bitches from around the way,” he spat.
“I didn’t take her, she chose me.”
“No,” he said darkly.
“She’s confused and you?—”
“I like her a lot. I can’t sit here and say that I love her, but I care a lot about Yeremy. I can’t get her off my mind, I miss her. I planned on coming to you on some real nigga shit. She wanted me to wait so I respected that.” I cut him off.
My words cut through the tension in the room. Casper’s face went still, stone cold. He sat up slowly with smoke trailing out of his mouth.
“I could have killed you, today. You and your brother. I thought about doing it for a month now. Trigga thinks I’m overreacting like he doesn’t know about my word being law. I haven’t seen nor heard from my daughter…” He blinked his eyes then cleared his throat.
“It’s been a month…I know she’s not with you…my men told me so.” His words trailed off.
He leaned all the way forward, his elbows hit the desk as his face hardened.
“You must love her for trying to fuck with me. Funny thing, though…she’s missing with no phone, no card swipes, no sightings…not even a whisper from her name in the streets. Something tells me, you are helping her and?—”
“I ain’t helping her with shit!” I frowned.
“You did this shit! She was fine with me! We was good as hell when she left to go back home or where ever the fuck she went!” I yelled.
I hadn’t heard from her in a month, I thought she wanted space.
I didn’t know how that shit worked with women, but I knew that they could be a bit dramatic once feelings got involved.
Once a week went by, I thought that Casper found out and was just waiting for me to come and talk to him as a man.
I had shit going on and planned on showing up to his house, but I wanted to talk to Yeremy first.
I went to her job and found out that she transferred and that’s when I felt like that was her way of cutting me completely off. Yeremy knew that I wasn’t about to let up off of her just because she wanted me to.
“She found out about Bianca and Ramsey. I should have just told you to kill that bitch too. I just didn’t want to put her in too much heartache. All of this shit is too much on her… Now I don’t think she…” Casper’s shoulders dropped.
He ran his hands down his waves again and sighed.
“I got so mad, you not good enough for her, Sol. I told her that you killed Ramsey. Hopefully that keeps her on the right track and away from you. I don’t want to control my daughter; I want the best for her.
Until you have a daughter of your own…you’ll understand it.
Right now, I want to know where the fuck my daughter is. ” He shook his head in disgust.
“So snitching is cool with you now?” I chuckled angrily in disbelief.
“This ain’t ’bout no street shit, it’s about protecting her!” His voice boomed loudly.
“I could have told her that myself! On my own fucking time!” I yelled.
“Where the fuck is she then, Casper?”
He chuckled without humor.
“Oh, you asking me? Like I’d keep her hidden without me knowing where the fuck she is? You think I’d send niggas out to send a message to get your attention, nigga?” He gritted out.
“You hear how stupid that shit sounds.” He shook his head.
“You ask Benita? I guarantee she knows where the fuck she is. There’s no way Yeremy would just disappear without taking money off her cards if?—”
“Bingo.” Casper snapped his rough fingers.
“That bitch Benita knows where my baby is.” He scoffed, visibly pissed that he hadn’t thought of that before he went through the troubles of getting me here.
“Stay the fuck away from Yeremy. I mean that shit,” he spat and waved me off like the conversation was over.
“Sooner or later, you got to get with the program, old man. I got nothing but love and respect for you. If I didn’t have that…I wouldn’t mind going to war behind her with you. If I find her before you…” I took steps backward.
“She’s mine and I ain’t letting up off her.” I smirked.
We stared each other down for what felt like an eternity before I turned on the balls of my feet and stomped out with Fatz behind me.
“Damn, this shit crazy, nigga,” Fatz said from behind me.
I could hear his heavy ass breathing which told me he was struggling to keep up with my fast footsteps.
“What’s crazy?” I pulled my gun from the small of my back just as I reached the last step.
I didn’t have to look back at Fatz to know that he had pulled his gun as well.
The way I saw it, this was an eye for an eye situation.
We was outnumbered; Casper didn’t want no smoke with me.
Since he capped two of my men, two of his would go before I drove off the premises.
I aimed my gun and shot the first two guards that stood at the steel double doors.
Their bodies dropped like a bad habit as I kept the same pace to my car.
“Bitch ass niggas.” I chuckled, watching all the guards rush in after me and Fatz to see what had taken place.
“Yeah, you in love. If it ain’t love, it’s something. You willing to go to war behind some pussy. Take me to get a steak plate off a hundred and third, nigga.” Fatz laughed as I made my way to the driver’s side of my car with Yeremy heavy on my mind.
I had to find her but didn’t know where to start looking.
Casper would be able to find her now with no problem.
Benita was going to fold and give up her daughter’s whereabouts just to get him off her back.
Casper was Benita’s lifeline and source to a hefty income.
I had to figure out a way to chop it up with Yeremy.
I wasn’t going to force her to fuck with me…
but there was something inside of me that told me that I couldn’t just leave her alone.
She felt the pull just like I felt that shit. I killed her bitch ass nigga Ramsey, and I didn’t see nothing wrong with that shit. She should have been thanking me, since I did her a favor. If the nigga was still alive, she would have been stuck on stupid with that nigga.