10 The Chaos
Beau
Houston Methodist Hospital
“Paw!” Livie said excitedly, seconds after they positioned the iPad to allow those in the living room to be viewed by the screen. I did the same with mine, leveling the tablet on the edge of the rolling table, sitting in the chair still next to Dash’s bed, within his earshot. I hope that my efforts in letting everyone see me, and chatting about nothing, helped in the matter of Amelia’s and the girls’ anxiety. Also in reminding Dash why he needed to wake his butt up.
“Paw!” Mia’s face appeared on the screen, blocking the others.
“Mia, sit down. We can’t see Paw,” Ava scolded from where she sat crisscross with Livie. They’d learned the new sitting position in school. Amelia and West sat beside them.
“We miss you and Daddy,” Mia said, taking a step back, her gaze still on me. She shared my uncertain emotions. My gaze went back to my little loves, missing them a ridiculous amount. My grin was probably the first genuine one I’d had since I left on my trip. “I miss all of you so much.”
Kailey relocated the tablet, the screen going every which way until it took in my mom and Kailey’s position on the sofa.
“Hi, Beau,” Kailey said. She lifted a hand in a wave as she settled next to our mom. She appeared forlorn, which meant she had to know what was going on more than my girls did.
“You’re telecommutin’ classes?” I asked Kailey. All three girls’ heads bent toward my younger sister. The three were fascinated with her. If she lifted an eyebrow, they did too.
“Yup,” she said, sounding like me. “It might be just as good as being in class, but it’s hard to ask questions.”
I nodded my understanding, West caught my attention, sitting on Amelia’s thigh. I wanted to believe his happy clapping was for me. I held all of his attention, and he held mine. He’d grown double in height and weight, I was sure of it. “Hey, little man.”
“Abuela says Daddy’s getting better,” Livie said. All three sets of blue eyes stared a hole through me, waiting for my answer.
“She’s right. He’s asleep right now. I’m stayin’ with him to help him get better. I helped him do his exercises this afternoon, like you all need to be doin’ by yourself until I get home. Are y’all doin’ good? Did you enjoy Halloween?”
“So much,” Ava said, the others echoed her feelings. “We have lots of candy, and Abuela’s giving us a piece a day.”
“Daddy needs to stop being sick,” Livie said. “We wanted him to dress up as Peter Pan.”
Oh man, he’d have hated that, but done it in a second.
Mia’s hands abruptly fisted, her body gave an excited full-length shake. “Gigi said that Kailey’s going to have lunch with us at school. Everyone will see our big sister.”
Kailey grinned, and I didn’t correct Mia. No one else did either, even Livie.
“She’s coming to our Thanksgiving parade lunch too,” Ava explained. “Gigi’s making her costume to look like ours.”
“Do you know about Thanksgiving, Paw?” Livie asked. Of course, no one waited for my answer.
“Everyone in school is dressing up like something from Thanksgiving. I wanna be a cornico,” Mia said, abruptly stopping the explanation, casting a quick glance at Livie.
“Cornucopia,” Livie corrected.
“The Native Americans and pilgrims became best friends and ate turkey together on Thanksgiving,” Mia finished her explanation. Ava nodded along with Mia.
“We’re all dressing as cornucopias with different insides because Mia liked the colors better,” Ava explained. “She’s the one that knows best about it. Abuela’s making the costumes. Kailey’s gonna sit by me and Livie, and Mia is sitting with Gigi and Abuela if she comes, but maybe I want to sit with Abuela and Gigi. Mia doesn’t make the rules.”
Ava shot a mean glare to Mia, causing me to jump in before a fight broke out. Ava wasn’t above tackling Mia over a perceived slight.
“No fighting. I need you guys to make Daddy some get-well cards. Can you do that for him?”
“Yes,” they said in unison.
“I made Daddy a vase in pottery class. It leans but it’s still pretty,” Mia said, proudly. “Next time, I’m making him a cup, but I don’t think he can drink from it.” She shrugged sweetly.
“Good and make him a card. Gigi or Abuela can help you write a message. Give your best effort,” I said, hoping it would occupy them a little longer than the five minutes every project took. “I’ll hang them around his room. Make him one every day. I’ll read him the messages. He also likes your book reports. Listen to your books then record yourselves summarizing them. He misses when y’all read together.”
“Gigi said we could make you a lunch and she’ll take it to you,” Livie said, her knees lifting as her hands hung on to the tips of her open-toed sandals.
“I’d like that.” I had only slept a couple of hours this afternoon, but enough for right now. I was hungry, the lunch sounded great. “Make me two sandwiches and send me some of those little cakes your dad hides.” The girls laughed. So did Abuela and my mom. My sophisticated husband thought he was sneaky enough to hide the Little Debbie white cakes without anyone else knowing. Yeah right.
“Abuela bought some yesterday. We’ll get them ready.” Livie jumped up and ran toward the kitchen.
Ava seemed fine to let her do all the work. Mia instructed from her seat, “Liv, Daddy likes the Doritos with cheese. And Paw likes those cups of mandarin oranges. He’ll eat two cups. And the cauliflower bag. Get that.”
“I will,” Livie called.
Their accurate dissection of our eating habits showed me the girls saw more of what was happening in our home than I’d realized. My gaze refocused on West, babbling incoherently, talking along with the girls as drool dribbled from the side of his mouth. My stare traveled to Amelia. She appeared as worried as I’d ever seen her. My mom took West, with Duke and Dixie at her feet and staring at the screen.
“Hi, you two. I miss you,” I said and four ears lifted. “Are you gettin’ enough runnin’ time? Are you bein’ good?”
Duke couldn’t hold it as well as Dixie did and began talking to me on the screen.
“Ava, go pet Duke. Mia, pet Dixie. Tell ’em they did good.”
Amelia leaned in, catching my eye. “How’s my boy doing?”
“Every time someone comes in here, they feel like he’s better and it’s just a matter of time before he’s up. Do you want to see him?” I asked the words I didn’t plan to say, and sat up, briefly turning the tablet to the profile side of Dash that I had tried to make presentable. He looked better without the trappings of the ventilator. The slim fitting nasal cannula that helps with his oxygen levels was there. Also the nasogastric tube was on Dash’s other side, maybe the kids didn’t see it. Tears sprang from Amelia’s eyes, the sudden intake of breath stopped me from showing more.
“I’m upset, Beau.” Amelia hiccupped as a full cry started.
“Abuela.” Mia was there first, hugging her grandmother. Ava and Livie came to her. The tears began to double time, causing the girls to cry too. The dogs got involved, mashing the undersides of their jaws on Amelia’s legs, offering their love.
“I know it’s not easy to see him this way, but I promise he’s better. I’m doin’ his exercises with him. He’s lost muscle mass. When he comes home, we’re gonna take such good care of him, he’ll get well just to get away from all the attention we give him.”
“No, that’s you, Paw,” Livie said. “Daddy likes us to do things for him. I rub his feet with lotion.”
“She does, Paw. I rub his hands,” Mia said.
“I don’t do anything because I don’t like it,” Ava chirped. That caused Abuela to chuckle even through her tears.
“Wesley has some people from the hospital coming out to help get the house ready,” my mom said.
I doubted they were from the hospital or insurance company. Based on the way Carter tossed money around, the speed of getting the home prepared for Dash wasn’t anything we needed to worry about. He’d have our home completely ready in time. “Is Carter workin’ from there? Are y’all bein’ quiet for him?”
“He’s always on the phone,” Amelia injected. “I think he’s going to take Dash’s law office as his office. He’s behind, and the kids are too loud here. Dasham’s thin. We’re gonna have to fatten him up when he gets home.”
“Well, he’ll love that,” I said, chuckling. “You’ll be makin’ tamales and cheesy enchiladas and those cookies he loves. Buy full fat milk and real sugar. He’ll be in heaven.”
“And ice cream. He likes those cones,” Ava added. “They’re not very good, but we don’t tell him.”
My heart loved hearing those words.
“Paw, tell us about the first time you met Daddy?” Mia asked excitedly, running for the tablet, and bringing it to the sofa with her. They all gathered around. My mom gave Kailey her spot to get closer. The exact story was told all the time. The girls liked to hear it and of course, Dash liked to tell it, giving more and more detail each time to hold their interest.
I leaned against the chair, finding comfort. Seemed I was in for the long-haul chat.
“I was ridin’ the bike my grandparents gave me for my birthday,” I explained, and Ava cut me off, helping me along.
“They lived here, where we live now.” -
“Yup,” I said. “And I was ridin’ in town to a pizza place that’s not there anymore…”
This time Livie broke in. “The Pizza Box. Right, Paw?”
“Yup,” I added again. “So I was at the crosswalk and misjudged the signal light, and it changed on me from yellow to red. I was peddlin’ when I spotted your dad in a red sports car. He made me lose everything else in my mind, your dad filled all the spaces inside me. My eyes locked on his as I rolled past, then the next thing I remembered was the sidewalk curb came out of nowhere and sent me over the handlebars. I knew how to take a tackle, I tucked and rolled and was okay in the end. Only shook up about your dad.”
“Paw played football,” Ava said proudly. “He got to crash into people.”
“I remember that day,” my mom added, probably to take Ava’s mind off banging into people. “It was your paw’s birthday. He turned fifteen. Your daddy was close to sixteen years old. I was driving into the Pizza Box to meet your paw for dinner to celebrate, and I saw him climbing out of the bushes, all scratched up. Your daddy explains it the same way—he watched your paw take the tumble. They’ve loved each other since that day. They’ve never had other boyfriends either, just each other. I’m proud of your paw and daddy.”
I nodded, liking the touches she added.
“Dash called me and told me he met you. I’d never seen him content like that. When you’d spend the night, I felt the love between them,” Amelia said, grinning.
“You spent the night with Dash after?” my mom asked. I watched her doing the math in her head. She didn’t need me to answer and gave a hearty huff. This couldn’t be the first time she figured it out.
“Beau. That was entirely too young,” she murmured.
“Too young for what?” Kailey asked. My smile grew as my mom’s face came into the screen. I laughed when she pointed a finger at me. I needed that moment to ease the tension.
“What was he too young for, Gigi?” Ava asked. My mom turned and kissed Ava’s forehead. She said nothing more to Amelia’s laughter. The sound was music to my ears.
“I enjoyed listening to Beau tell Dash no when he tried to talk him into anything. Dasham was always too smart and too charming. He got his way more than he ever should have. Beau never let him win one single time. I’d work around the house, loving the way Dash tried to talk Beau into his will,” Amelia said, smiling brightly now.
“Don’t give Beau a big head,” my mom said, still disgruntled. “He and I are going to talk about this when they come home.”
“She looks serious, Beau,” Amelia said, drawing her feet up on the sofa. “Do you remember packing Dash’s shoes to move to Chicago. We had to wrap each shoe individually.”
“I remember,” I said. “Then you were the only one allowed to pack them in the truck. Dash told me about when he was younger, and he was afraid of lookin’ pretentious.”
Amelia smiled so big that a laugh followed from both of us.
“For a time, he only wore clothes that came from the GAP. He felt like everyday people shopped there.” She shook her head at his silliness. “He was always so clueless in his attempts to appear normal.”
“I agree with that,” I said and reached over to take Dash’s hand. “I’d say he’s still like that. He can’t shake his wealthy upbringin’.”
“No, he can’t,” Amelia agreed. “I watch the girls grow and see so much of him inside them. Livie’s a younger Dasham. She has his smarts and willingness to follow the rules. Ava’s an older Dash, testing life’s limits. Mia will have his charm, his need to be grounded to the world. He’s always been so good to me. I hope I’ve given the same to him.”
“You know you have,” I said, immediately. “He loves you. You know that. We all do.”
She swallowed deeply, a trickle of tears spilling over again.
“Why does Abuela call Daddy Dasham and no one else does?” Mia asked.
“Dasham’s your dad’s full name. When I met him, I thought he was dashin’, so I shortened his name to Dash,” I explained. “And it took.”
“Like Prince Charming?” Livie said. “They said he was dashing when we were on the ship.”
“Yup, just like that.” I grinned at the comparison.
“Tell us more about what Dash was like when he was little,” I said, happy to listen to anything Amelia had to say. I had nothing but time from now until they checked in. Mia popped up beside Amelia, giving the tablet to Ava, getting straight in her grandmother’s face.
“Don’t cry, Abuela,” she said. “We love you.”
“I love you too. Do you want to hear about when your daddy was your age?” she asked, running a tissue over her eyes. Ava came in beside Mia, holding the tablet. Livie crawled on the other side.
“Yes,” they said in unison.
Amelia launched into her storytelling, gently tiptoeing around the secret bits of Dash’s life. I leaned in, hoping Dash could soak up all the love swirling around him—the life he cherished above all else.
An hour sprang forward as I basked in Amelia’s recounting of Dash’s escapades. From his attempt to save the turtles, his efforts as a young boy to take on the stock market, to the happiness he experienced after meeting me. I’d never heard many of the stories before. Amelia focused on the good times and stayed away from any of our difficult periods. Duke and Dixie didn’t even try to assert themselves into the conversation. They listened patiently too.
Suddenly, the night nurse pushed through the door, juggling fresh blankets in one arm, and a dinner plate in the other. “Everything about to happen is being performed around the new rules. Someone important cares for you two. The isolation protocols have been removed so your rule breaking self doesn’t have to be escorted out. I wasn’t sure if you’d eaten,” she said, yanking me back to reality as she placed both items on top of the rolling cart.
“I have to go,” I said. “Daddy’s nurse is here. Can we continue this tomorrow evenin’?”
The girls turned instantly forlorn when I said I had to go, then gleeful when I mentioned another evening spent together in this way.
“That’s a good idea. I feel better talking about our guy,” Amelia said. “Thank everyone at the hospital for all they’re doing for us.”
“I think she just heard you.”
The nurse smiled as she checked Dash’s vitals and his equipment.
“I’m signin’ off. I love, love you, and miss you.” I waved and smiled then pushed the end button on the screen and got to my feet, moving the multi-purpose rolling cart out of the way.
“I brought you a dinner tray and new bedding. They’ve explained to you how to lower the chair, right?”
“I figured it out. I slept a couple of hours this afternoon,” I said. “Thank you for bringin’ food.” My perfectly timed stomach grumbled its appreciation too.
“The staff’s been watching. They didn’t remember you eating anything today. Your father-in-law’s getting a bed sent up here for you. I thought it would be here by now. It’s against hospital policy but we’re in a new set of rules…” She let that hang there. I knew the pull Carter had and he wasn’t afraid to flex his abilities either. “It’s interesting to watch the top brass bend like they are. All of us are laughing behind their backs.”
I nodded, understanding exactly what she meant. Extreme money made people act differently all of the time. How Carter stayed grounded was probably the place where he connected best with Dash. “He’s my stepfather, but I guess my father in-law too. That’s funny. I never considered the connection.” My gaze darted to her kind face, trying to gauge the amount of dysfunction in my statement. She seemed to have no judgment about my words.
“I didn’t know who he was, but others recognized him on the spot. Then they felt like they knew Dash. I guess they’re photographed together regularly.”
I remained quiet, knowing Dash would find that hilarious. Carter and Dash tried to stick it to his father any chance they got, but while doing so, they’d become incredibly close.
“How’s our guy doing? I understand he’s doing better.”
“They keep tellin’ me that, but he’s not awake, or movin’,” I said, going to the opposite side of the bed from where she worked.
“Did you do his hair?” she asked, adjusting the tubes on his face.
“I tried. He’s particular about his hair. He’d be embarrassed by my efforts, but I tried,” I said, eyeing the modest flip I had managed.
“He looks great,” she said and began working on the iPad attached to his bed. “Do you two live around here?”
“No, we have a house in Sea Springs. We have children and dogs there.” My stare remained fixed on Dash’s face. “We have triplet girls who are three and a seven-month-old son.”
“That’s a big load. I have an eight-year-old daughter and I can barely keep up.” My gaze lifted to her commiserating.
“I have a sister around that age. Carter and Mom had a daughter. The more I talk about us, the more I realize we might appear super dysfunctional, but it’s not. We’re all lucky to have each other.”
“Mr. Carter claimed Dash as his son, and your mom’s Kailey’s mom, so Dash is your stepbrother and husband?” Her gaze twinkled and lifted to me, showing she was teasing. “Honestly, from what I see every day, you guys are the high point of functional. I promise.” A couple of guys pushed through the door, guiding in another bed. I couldn’t imagine lying there, awake, watching Dash breathe all night, but it had to be better than the hard, vinyl chair.
“Do you want me to turn the music back on?” the nurse asked about the speaker I placed on a stool by his head.
“I’ll do it and make the bed,” I said to the two guys shaking out a sheet. Luckily, the nurse backed me up when they ignored me.
“He likes to stay busy and do things for himself. Leave it. It’s good.” All three left the room together, leaving behind a deafening silence. My gaze traveled to Dash.
“Please wake up. I need you. Please.”