Chapter 5
THE DEEP TRILL
Renza had just spent a grip on a new yacht so me, him, Pressure, and Blaq was out here like we ain’t have nothin’ better to do than remind the ocean who the fuck we was.
The boat was stupid clean. It wasn’t regular a rich nigga boat, but that quiet, intentional shit where every surface looked like it had been thought through twice before it got approved.
It had white exterior with that subtle pearl tint that caught the sun different depending on where you stood, polished wood accents everywhere, and windows so big you could see straight through to the water like the ocean was part of the interior design.
The deck alone was bigger than most people’s condos, and inside that shit had multiple rooms, plush couches stitched with custom leather, a full kitchen, a dining space that looked like it belonged in a five star restaurant, and bedrooms that made you forget you was even on water.
Renza was in his fuckin’ element.
Nigga had on a captain’s hat he clearly bought just for this moment, cigar hangin’ out his mouth, brown liquor in his glass, and a smile that said he was gone talk shit all day and enjoy every second of it.
“Y’all see this shit?” he said loud as hell, spreadin’ his arms like the boat was his newborn. “I told y’all niggas I was gone get somethin’ that float AND flex.”
Pressure leaned back against the rail with his shades still on, lookin’ out at the water like he wasn’t impressed at all.
“So when you gon’ actually drive the boat?” he asked.
Renza puffed the cigar, slow as hell. “I been drivin’ it. It’s goin’ where I told it to go.”
Blaqson snorted. “This nigga ain’t touch the wheel once.”
Renza glanced at him sideways. “Why would I? That’s what I paid the captain for.”
Pressure shook his head. “You buy shit just to not do shit.”
“That’s the point,” Renza said, real calm.
I stood there with my drink in my hand, watchin’ the water roll by while the boat cut through it smooth.
We was out on the open Trill waters, deep enough where the blue got darker and the air felt cleaner, like the world couldn’t reach us out here.
This was the kinda place I liked to be, where the only problems that existed was which liquor to pour next.
Pressure had Cloud 9 Dining staff on board like it was nothin’. His chef was in the kitchen already movin’ around, plating shit like this was a floatin’ restaurant instead of a boat Renza just copped on a whim. Soon as the food started comin’ out, the whole vibe leveled up another notch.
We had lobster tails glazed just right with butter drippin’ down the sides, jumbo shrimp grilled and seasoned heavy, crab legs cracked open, steam still risin’ from ‘em. There was scallops sittin’ in a light sauce, oysters on ice, escargot served like it was casual and some type of fish I ain’t even bother askin’ the name of ‘cause it smelled like money.
We ate good, and drank better.
Spades came out later once the sun dipped just enough and the speakers started bangin’.
Pressure rolled up that Trillium like it was second nature, the smoke thick but smooth, and Key Glock slid through the speakers, followed by Gates, then YoungBoy.
Per usual, this was some rich nigga shit mixed with hood roots, and how it was supposed to be.
Renza threw the card down.
Blaqson sucked his teeth. “Man…”
Pressure glanced at the table. “You knew better than that.”
Renza leaned back, already reachin’ for his drink. “Y’all done?”
I laughed, but it didn’t last long.
Pressure looked at me longer than usual, not jokin’, or talkin’ shit, but just observin’. He knew me too well.
“You good? You been quiet,” he said.
Renza snorted. “Somethin’ always wrong with this nigga.”
I flicked my lighter, sparked the blunt again, and took a slow pull before I answered. “Ain’t shit wrong.”
Pressure raised a brow. “That’s how I know some shit wrong.”
Normally, I would’ve talked. Normally, I would’ve said somethin’, even if it was half the truth. But right then, my chest felt too tight to open that door, and explainin’ it felt heavier than just sittin’ in it.
So I shrugged. “I’m good.”
Renza laughed. “That’s that married nigga answer.”
Instead of goin’ off about the shit, I let it rock.
Right then my phone vibrated.
It was Toni.
My first instinct was to let that shit ring. We ain’t really been talkin’, not like that, and we definitely ain’t been touchin’. We was in separate rooms, had short conversations and too much space between us for a couple that used to breathe each other.
But my feet moved before my pride could stop ‘em.
I stood up from the table and walked out to the deck where the water stretched out in front of me. I answered.
“Yeah?”
Her voice slid through the phone low and soft, and fuck, that shit did somethin’ to me I wasn’t ready for.
“I was just checkin’ on you,” she said. “I ain’t heard from you since yesterday.”
I leaned against the rail, lookin’ out at the water. “I’m straight.”
She went quiet for a second, and I could tell she wanted to say more.
“You need anything?” I asked, already knowin’ that question was dangerous.
She hesitated. Then, she said, “Yeah.”
“What?”
“…You.”
Any other time, I would’ve jumped off the damn boat and swam home to her ass. Any other time, I would’ve laughed, talked shit, told her to come get this dick, or told her I was on the way.
Instead, I closed my eyes and bit my lip, feelin’ that ache hit my chest.
It was nothin’ but weeks of not touchin’ her. It was weeks of thinkin’ about that night I fucked her, and her scream still livin’ in my head rent free. It was me knowin’ her past. It was me not knowin’ how to touch my own wife without worryin’ if I was about to cross a line I ain’t even see.
“I’ll be home tomorrow,” I said.
I could hear the disappointment in her breath even though she tried to hide it.
“Okay,” she said quietly. “I love you.”
That shit hit harder than I expected.
I ain’t answer fast enough.
“You gone say it back?” she asked, her voice low, hurt but still reachin’ for me.
I sighed. “I love you. I just… I don’t know if you really feel that way right now.”
Her voice cracked just enough to let me know I said the wrong shit. “I do, ‘Lo.”
I ain’t wanna get into it right now. Not out here with the water lookin’ peaceful and my mind bein’ anything but.
“A’ight,” I said. “I’mma hit you before I come home.”
Then I hung up.
I stood there for a second longer with my phone still in my hand, before I went back inside like nothin’ happened.
Renza looked up. “Everything cool?”
I poured another drink. “Yeah.”
I lit the weed again, sat back down at the table, and forced myself to focus on the cards.
But no matter how loud the music got or how good the liquor burned, my mind stayed on Toni and that space between us that kept growin’ no matter how hard I tried not to think about it.
I played spades. I laughed when I was supposed to, and I acted unbothered.
But the truth was, I had never felt more unsure about how to love the woman I loved the most, and that shit scared me more than I would ever admit out loud.
Trill-Land, ‘LoLux Estate
The next night…
By the time I made it to the crib, it was damn near midnight, and the streets was quiet. I rolled up in my Lamborghini Huracán, the engine purrin’ low as I eased through the gates.
I parked next to a couple of my other whips and sat there for a second with my hands on the wheel, just breathin’, ‘cause the whole ride home my head had been loud as hell even though the music stayed low.
Everything with Toni been sittin’ on me heavy. I wasn’t mad at her, but I was hurt in a way that made me cautious, and that caution didn’t feel like me at all.
I cut the engine and stepped out, the night air cool against my skin, and by the time I hit the front door and pushed it open, I wasn’t prepared for what I walked into.
Toni was already standin’ right there like she had been waitin’ on me.
She had on this red lingerie that didn’t leave shit to the imagination.
It was sheer in all the right places and clingy like it was made just for her body.
The fabric showed off her pretty chocolate legs.
They was long, smooth and strong, and I couldn’t help but think about how they always wrapped around me like they was built to hold a nigga in place.
Her hips was full, sittin’ perfect on that slim waist, and her stomach was flat and soft lookin’, the kind you wanna lay your face on just to feel it rise and fall.
Her titties sat high in the lace, full and heavy and nipples showin’ through just enough to make my jaw tighten even though I told myself not to react.
She looked good as fuck.
Right now, she was that dangerous type of good that made a nigga forget what he was mad about in the first place.
Her hair was laid simple, skin glowin’ like she had just stepped out the shower, and when she took a step toward me, the way she smelled hit me next, warm and sweet with somethin’ deeper underneath it that always made my head spin.
I stayed where I was though.
I ain’t step back, but I ain’t move forward either, ‘cause my pride was still bruised and my heart was still sore even if my body was reactin’ like it always did around her.
Toni closed the space between us and wrapped her arms around my waist, pressin’ herself into me like she always do, and I let her ‘cause pushin’ her away would’ve been a lie.
I rested my hands low on her back but didn’t pull her in the way I normally would, and I could feel her notice it ‘cause she went still for a second before relaxin’ again like she wasn’t finna give up that easy.
“I love you,” she said soft, her voice right against my chest, and that shit landed heavy ‘cause it wasn’t me sayin’ it first this time.
I looked down at her, seein’ the way her lashes fluttered when she lifted her face, and seein’ the apology sittin’ in her eyes before she even spoke it.