Chapter 6
Trill-Land, ‘LoLux Estate
Two days later…
Even though Kay’Lo wasn’t home, I still kept my phone on loud everywhere I went like I was waitin’ on the most important call of my life, ‘cause that was exactly what it felt like. I kept that bitch on the counter when I cooked, in the bathroom when I showered, tucked beside me when I tried to nap, and even on the sink when I brushed my teeth. I ain’t care if I was on the toilet or in the middle of washin’ dishes. If my husband called, I was answerin’.
There was a difference between us bein’ separated before and him bein’ locked up now.
When we was separated, he was mad and I was mad, but he was outside.
He could breathe fresh air and eat whatever he wanted and sleep in a real bed.
If he wanted to drive around all night or sit and chill with his cousins or go to a damn club, he could.
I still hated the distance then, but it wasn’t this.
This was somethin’ else. This was a hurt that crawled deeper every day, ‘cause someone else dictated when I could hear his voice and how long I could have it.
Even though I was only eight weeks into my pregnancy, motherhood was already takin’ over me in a way that made me softer and more emotional than I ever been in my life.
I rubbed my stomach every mornin’ even though it was still kinda flat, and I talked to the lil’ life growin’ inside me like it could already hear me.
I tried to stay calm for the baby ‘cause Treasure kept remindin’ me that stress traveled.
I couldn’t lie though; That woman had been my backbone these last few weeks.
Kay’Lo’s mama made me smoothies every mornin’ with all type of stuff I couldn’t even pronounce but she swore would help my nausea.
She brought teas to the house and checked my blood pressure and cooked full meals with the exact seasonin’ she knew wouldn’t mess with the baby.
She was always on the phone with doctors makin’ sure I had the best care, and even with all that love she gave me, none of it could fix the hole in my heart from my nigga not bein’ here.
Two days had passed since the whole courthouse mess, and the shit still replayed in my head whenever I sat still too long. Abeni and Lennox yellin’, that damn man droppin’ dead, and Kay’Lo bein’ pulled away in cuffs before I could touch him had my head still spinnin’.
I pulled myself out of my thoughts long enough to turn off the water.
The tub was filled with bubbles, and warm water and I was grateful for the small moment to myself.
I stripped out my clothes and stepped one foot in the bath, about to slide all the way down, when my ringtone echoed through the bathroom.
My heart jumped, and I snatched the phone so fast it almost slipped out my hand.
I pressed accept on the automated voice without hesitation. If I could’ve beat that robot bitch up to make her talk faster, I swear I would’ve.
The line clicked and before I could say anything, his voice came through.
“Hey baby. What you and my baby doin’?”
My mouth curved without me even tryin’. Just hearin’ him say baby made somethin’ in me warm up.
I stepped the rest of the way into the tub and slid down until the bubbles touched my shoulders. “We alive,” I said, smilin’ even though my chest felt tight. “But I can’t feel no kicks or nothin’. I ain’t even showin’ yet for real. The baby still the size of a damn pea, ‘Lo.”
He hummed into the phone like he ain’t care about reality. “That’s my baby in there. Fully whole and perfect already. I’on wanna hear ‘bout no damn pea.”
Sometimes Kay’Lo said shit that made me want to cry and laugh at the same time. He had this blind confidence about our child, like the baby was already sittin’ on his chest takin’ naps.
I closed my eyes while the warmth hugged my body and let him have his moment, ‘cause I knew it helped him feel close to us.
“What you doin’ right now baby?” he asked, his voice real low, the way it got when he wanted somethin’.
I let out a soft breath. “I’m in the tub.”
There was a sound on the other end of the phone that made my thighs press together without me thinkin’. It was a moan mixed with a grunt, like he felt the words all the way down his spine.
I accidentally bit my lip, and my eyebrows pulled together ‘cause the sound went through me like a small shock.
“Damn…” he murmured, draggin’ the word out just enough to make my body react. “So that pussy open for me right now?”
“Kay’Lo…” I whispered his name more like a warnin’ than an answer, but I knew Kay’Lo and he ain’t give a damn.
“Baby, answer me.”
“Yes.”
He let out this deep hum that was heavy with want, like the thought of me alone was draggin’ somethin’ out of him. There was this sound in his voice that told me he wasn’t just horny… he was hurtin’ for me.
“I miss you so much, baby. I miss ya pussy like crazy. You don’t even know.”
I sank further into the water, my body relaxin’ and gettin’ tense all at once. “Kay’Lo, we can’t be talkin’ like this on a jail phone.”
“Baby, I don’t give a fuck where I’m at. You my wife. That pussy mine. If I wanna hear you play with it, I’m gon’ hear you play with it.” His voice dropped even lower. “Now do what I said.”
My heart was beatin’ a lil’ faster, and all I could think about was how he used to touch me whenever I got out the tub.
One time, he pulled me right out just to lay me across the sink and eat my pussy like he was starvin’.
He ain’t even let the water finish drippin’ off me before he dragged his tongue up my thighs and sucked every drop off like he was drinkin’ my body.
He put my legs on his shoulders and held me wide open with one hand while his mouth stayed buried in me, lickin’ and slurpin’ and drivin’ me the fuck crazy.
“Kay’Lo…”
“Toni,” he said slow, “stop actin’ scared and touch my pussy.”
My breath left in a shaky wave, and the water felt hotter than before.
I slipped my hand between my legs and felt how warm and swollen my clit already was just from hearin’ him talk.
“You doin’ it baby?”
“Yes.”
“Good… now rub that clit for me. Do it how I like it… not how you think. I want you open just like you be when I’m kneelin’ in front of you, beggin’ you to give me that pussy. Make that shit jump for me, baby. I wanna hear how wet you get when you do it the way I taught you.”
I dragged my fingers across it and a soft sound came out my mouth before I could stop it.
“That’s it, mama,” he whispered. “You sound so fuckin’ pretty right now.”
I let my head fall back against the edge of the tub, while my eyes shut as I circled my clit under the water.
“Kay’Lo…”
“A’ight, baby… now put one leg over the side of the tub for me.
I nodded even though he couldn’t see me, and did just that.
“I want you open, and put two fingers in my pussy. Do it how I do when I’m eatin’ you… slow first, then push ’em in all the way so I hear it.”
I slid two fingers inside and the warmth of the water made everything feel deeper.
“Baby… I miss you,” I breathed out, my voice barely there.
“I’m right here. Now fuck your fingers for me.”
I moved them in and out my pussy, and the pressure had my toes curlin’.
He talked me through every second, his voice deep and calm like he had his mouth on me instead of a jail phone.
Every time my breath trembled, he whispered somethin’ nasty that made my body tighten even more, and I swear I could feel his mouth in place of my fingers, suckin’ me through every slow stroke like he had all the time in the world to make me fall apart for him.
He kept tellin’ me how he would be suckin’ on me right now, holdin’ my hips down while I tried to run from the nut, and his voice was so deep and sexy, it felt like his tongue was on me for real, lickin’ me through every second until my whole body felt weak.
“Pull your fingers out, baby,” he said after a minute. “Now rub that clit again but faster. I know you close. I know ya voice better than I know my own. I been listenin’ to you cum for me for years, so don’t play. Make that pussy cry for me, baby.”
“Kay’Lo… oh my God…”
“That’s right. Cum for me baby. Let me hear it. Let me hear what I’m doin’ to you.”
My body tightened and my thighs squeezed together as the orgasm rolled through me. A deep moan fell out my mouth and he groaned right along with me like he felt it through the phone.
“You sound beautiful,” he whispered. “Talk to me, baby. Did Daddy make you feel good? Did I give you what you needed?”
“Yes,” I moaned, my eyebrows pulled together tight as hell, ‘cause my pussy was contractin’ and throbbin’.
I was still breathin’ heavy, tryna pull myself back together when the automated voice cut in and snapped me back to reality.
Kay’Lo sighed. “I gotta go baby. I’ll call when I can.”
“Kay’Lo, wait… please don’t hang up yet.”
“I ain’t got no choice baby. I love you. I love my child. I’m gon’ call as soon as they let me.”
“Ugh,” I whispered. “I love you too.”
The line disconnected and I felt my whole chest collapse in on itself.
The nut took the edge off my body, but my heart still felt raw and thin like I ain’t have no protection around it. I slid deeper into the water and covered my face with both hands ‘cause missin’ Kay’Lo hurt worse than any damn thing I’ve ever felt.
I wanted my husband home. I wanted him next to me, and the more I loved him, the harder it got to survive on phone calls alone.