Chapter 13 KAY’LO MENSAH #2
I reached for My’Love, thinkin’ maybe I could calm her down, or shift the moment, but Toni pulled back, holdin’ her tighter like she ain’t even want me touchin’ her right now.
That shit hit me, but I ain’t say nothin’.
I just looked at them for a second, then turned and walked out the room, ’cause I had court in an hour and a half and I couldn’t afford to be late on top of everything else.
By the time I made it downstairs and stepped outside, Kelli was already sittin’ on the steps with a cigarette in his hand.
He looked up at me. “You good?”
I nodded once. “Yeah.”
It was a lie, but I ain’t got time to unpack none of this shit right now.
We got in the car, and as I leaned back in the passenger seat, all I could feel was that weight sittin’ on my chest again. It was heavier than it was before I woke up, and I already knew this day was about to be long as hell.
Court was a fuckin’ drag and I was ready to get the hell up out this seat before the day even really got started, but I ain’t have that option.
I sat beside my lawyer with my back straight and my face blank like I had it all under control, even though everything in me felt piled up and pressin’ down in a way that made it hard for a nigga to even think straight.
These past couple months had been the same cycle over and over, and I was tired of sittin’ in that courtroom listenin’ to people twist shit. It literally felt like I was listenin’ to a broken record every day.
Roderick wasn’t sittin’ in court today. His wife was here though, sittin’ stiff with her eyes locked on me like she wanted me dead, and her only livin’ son was right there with her even after everything that went down outside this same courthouse months ago when Pressure knocked his ass clean the fuck out in front of everybody.
Security was heavy, more than usual, and I understood why, but none of that really registered the way it should’ve. I felt numb in a way I couldn’t shake, like my mind had shut certain parts off just so I could sit here without crashin’ out.
I couldn’t even focus on the argument me and Toni just had before I left the crib, and I couldn’t sit in what I told her or how she looked at me after I said it. I already knew if I let that shit in right now, I wouldn’t be able to hold myself together the way I needed to in this room.
So, I kept my eyes forward and my face blank, and I let the voices around me turn into noise.
My people was here like always. My mama and my pops had been sittin’ behind me every single day, five days a week, showin’ up for me without fail, and I ain’t never took that shit for granted ’cause I knew what it meant to have them in my corner right now.
Renza was a few seats down, laid back like he always was but watchin’ everything at the same time, and Kelli was beside him, quiet like usual but locked in the way he always did when shit mattered.
Pressure had slid through earlier, dappin’ me up before court started and lettin’ me know he was here, and I respected that more than I ever said out loud ’cause I knew he had Pluto and the kids.
But even with all that around me, I still felt alone in a way I couldn’t explain, like everything was closin’ in but I ain’t have the space to react to it.
The courtroom moved slow all mornin’, and afternoon with lawyers talkin’ and witnesses goin’ back and forth, and I was halfway checked out when somebody from the Lennox side popped off.
“Kay’Lo Mensah a killer!” the voice shouted. “He killed Rioh, he killed Jaqwon, and he killed Echo too! He a disgrace!”
The room shifted instantly, voices risin’ and heads turnin’. Before I even moved, I heard Renza from behind me.
“Bitch, ya mama!” he shot back, loud as hell, and I would’ve laughed if we wasn’t in court.
The judge slammed the gavel and started barkin’ for order while security moved in to calm shit down.
People stood up, cops stepped in, and through all that noise I ain’t even react.
I just sat there and stared straight ahead, ’cause none of this shit was new to me no more.
They been callin’ me everything under the sun for months, and it ain’t hit the same no more.
By the time court wrapped, I stood up with my lawyers and moved toward the elevators with everybody around me, and it was quiet once we stepped inside. It was where everybody had somethin’ on they mind but wasn’t sayin’ it.
I pulled my phone out without even thinkin’, and when I saw Toni ain’t text me nothin’, that hit me. Every day she sent me pictures of My’Love while I was in court, and that shit kept me locked in with my baby even when I couldn’t be there, but today it was nothin’.
I stared at the screen for a second, then typed quick.
Let me see my baby.
That’s all I said ’cause right then I just needed to see her.
A minute later, the pictures came through, and the second they popped up I let out a real laugh I ain’t even expect. My’Love was sittin’ there in a pink onesie lookin’ so small and so perfect it made everything else fade for a second.
“Look at her,” I muttered, shakin’ my head while I texted Toni back, tellin’ her how cute she looked. Even though shit between us was off, she still sent them pictures anyway.
I slid my phone back in my pocket just as the elevator doors opened, and we stepped out into the hallway. People was movin’ around, watchin’, whisperin’, and before I could even take a few steps, some nigga posted up near the elevator started talkin’ slick.
“That’s him right there… that’s that nigga—”
“Man shut yo bitch ass up,” I cut in, my voice sharp. Outta instinct I reached for my waist before I even thought about it.
That’s when it hit me that I ain’t have shit on me.
I had got rid of all that after everything that went down, and bein’ in court meant I couldn’t carry anyway, and for a second I felt that lack in a way I wasn’t used to. My hands felt empty at the wrong time.
That ain’t make me no hoe though.
The nigga kept runnin’ his mouth, and before I could step forward, my pops moved. He stepped right in front of him and grabbed him by his throat, liftin’ him just enough to let him know he wasn’t built for this moment.
“You better get the fuck out our face,” my pops growled, and I stepped in behind him, ready to handle it however it went.
Everything happened fast after that.
A loud pop cut through the hallway, and for a second my brain ain’t even register it until I heard my mama scream.
I jumped back on instinct, Renza and Kelli doin’ the same, and when I looked up, my pops was fallin’.
“Pops!” I shouted as he hit the ground.
The nigga took off runnin’, but he ain’t make it far before security and police tackled him. I ain’t even chase him ’cause all I could see was my father layin’ here.
Blood was spreadin’ fast across his white shirt, soakin’ through like it wasn’t no way to stop it. My mama dropped to her knees beside him, screamin’ his name while tryna hold him together.
“Kwame! Stay with me, baby, stay with me!” she cried, her hands pressin’ against him.
I dropped down on the other side, my hands hoverin’ for a second ’cause I ain’t even know where to touch him without makin’ it worse. That shit twisted deep in me ’cause I ain’t never seen my pops like this.
This man had always been solid in my mind. He was untouchable, and how he was layin’ in front of me, grabbin’ at his stomach while blood kept comin’, his face already changin’ while he tried to stay conscious.
“Pops… I got you,” I said, even though I ain’t even know what the fuck I could do.
He looked at me, tryna focus, and I saw him fightin’ to stay present.
That shit scared me more than anything.
“Ambulance!” somebody shouted, and it felt like forever before the paramedics pushed through and dropped down beside him, tellin’ us to move back while they started workin’ on him.
My mama was cryin’ so hard it ain’t even sound real, and I stood there feelin’ like my hands was tied, like I was watchin’ somethin’ I should’ve been able to stop.
I ain’t have my gun, and I ain’t have control.
I felt helpless in a way I couldn’t shake, like I was watchin’ the one man I always looked up to slip away right in front of me and I couldn’t do shit about it.
They loaded him up fast and got him on the stretcher while his blood was still everywhere, and my mama stayed right there with him, holdin’ on to him, refusin’ to let go.
I stood there a second longer, my chest tight, my mind runnin’ through everything at once, from Toni, to my baby, to this trial, to my father layin’ there fightin’ to stay alive, and all I could think was that shit had just crossed into a place I couldn’t come back from.
And now it wasn’t just about me no more.