Chapter 14
Remy agreed to meet Fillis on Saturday since she had no tours scheduled on that day.
Today was Friday, and she had day tours all day and then two ghost tours at night.
It was also the day she had told Ellis to come to Culp’s Hill in the early evening if he wanted to talk.
Rehashing her past with Avery the other day had been exhausting yet liberating, and she hoped to be able to help Ellis in the same way.
She had the feeling he’d had a tough life and probably desperately needed a friend.
She parked her car at Culp’s Hill and got out.
She smiled and bit her lip as she saw Ellis sitting among the rocks where he’d been last time.
I knew it. He needs me. She took a deep breath and prepared for battle.
She fully expected him to be defensive about his vulnerability, and she knew she should expect him to treat her with cruelty at first like he always did.
She knew she had to be patient with him to earn his trust. Only then could she help him.
Ellis turned around and scowled at her. “You again? Oh, yeah. Forgot you said you were gonna show up here again to bother me.”
They both knew damn well he hadn’t forgotten what she’d said, but Remy was happy to allow him to save face by pretending to believe him.
“Well, as long as you’re here, we might as well talk.
” She walked over and plopped down right beside him and smiled.
A tingle of excitement rippled through her when she saw him hide his smile.
She also saw relief in his eyes. Remy prided herself on being able to read people. He needed a friend, all right.
“Well, it ain’t like I got anything better to do,” Ellis grumbled.
Remy fanned herself with her hand. “Stop it! You’re making me blush, kind sir!”
Ellis’s laugh was more of a snort, but it was there. He actually laughed.
“What do you want with me, anyway?” he asked.
“I’ve been talking to a lot of ghosts lately. Well, ghosts and former ghosts.”
“Jesse,” Ellis said, shaking his head. “That was so weird. That he came back.”
“He was in love, so God let him stay.”
“Yeah, we’ll see how long that relationship lasts. She’ll find somebody better. Or he will.” Ellis said gruffly.
Remy could hear the pain in his voice. Yes, some woman had definitely broken his heart somewhere along the way.
“Well, I understand how lonely it is to be a ghost. I’m lonely a lot, too,” Remy said quietly, fully aware of how risky it was to confess such a thing to Ellis.
He had no problem grabbing hold of your insecurities and throwing them back in your face.
She had to be careful of how much she told him.
Still, she knew it might be the only way to get him to open up.
“I don’t need your pity.”
“I know you don’t. But I thought you might need a friend, and I could always use more.”
“What, that Irish paddy ain’t enough for you?”
Remy hated hearing Ellis talk that way about Avery, especially since she knew he had probably called him that and worse right to his face.
“I love being with him. That’s true,” she said.
“Oh, I bet you wish you could be with him. You’d spread your legs wide open for him if you could.”
“You’re damn right I would,” Remy said, refusing to so much as blink at his crudeness. She didn’t enjoy being spoken to with such disrespect, especially about something as sacred to her as making love with Avery, but she refused to let him bait her. “But we’re not talking about me right now.”
Ellis peered over at her, looking impressed. He had probably expected her to be more like Lucy. Tenderhearted and easy to crush. Remy felt her fury rise at the thought. She didn’t care if Ellis hurt her feelings, but the thought of him torturing Lucy infuriated her.
“I just want you to know that I’m here if you want to talk,” Remy said.
Ellis was quiet for a while. Remy had the feeling he wanted to say something, but he was afraid. She sat still and waited patiently.
“I can’t…” Ellis began cautiously. “Do you know what vanishing is? For ghosts?”
“Yes. Avery explained it to me. It’s like when you’re not really conscious. Different than just being invisible.”
Ellis nodded and seemed relieved that she understood. “I used to be able to vanish whenever I wanted, and now I can’t. I don’t understand what’s happening to me.” He refused to look at her as he spoke.
“That must be really scary,” Remy said softly.
Ellis turned and glared at her. She steeled herself for an angry insult, but when he finally spoke, he said, “Yeah. It is scary.”
“Well, maybe it’s a good thing. Maybe it will be your time to cross over soon.
Remy eyed him carefully, but his expression remained neutral.
“You should join Theresa’s counseling group. I’m sure she could help you.”
“That’s the last thing I need. To be in some group with a bunch of pansies whining about their feelings.”
“Well, maybe you could just come to a meeting and sit with them for a while. Just listen. A lot of soldiers are going through the same thing you are.”
Ellis fell quiet again, and Remy hoped she was getting through to him.
Though she believed the group might really help him, she was worried about the way he might treat the other soldiers.
It would be just like him to call them pansies to their faces, and she could easily see him starting a fight.
Theresa was compassionate and kind, yet she didn’t take shit from anybody.
Hopefully, she would be able to keep him in line.
“Who says I want to cross over?” Ellis asked angrily.
Remy looked at him curiously. It had never occurred to her that he wouldn’t want to leave this lonely ghost existence.
“Jesse wanted to stay because he loves Lucy. What’s keeping you here?” Remy asked as gently as possible.
Ellis shook his head and looked away, making it clear that he had no intention of telling her why he didn’t want to leave the earth behind.
“I have to go,” Ellis said, abruptly standing up.
They both knew damn well he had nowhere else to be, but Remy let him go without argument.
“Okay,” Remy said. “I’ve got some tours to do anyway.”
Her heart ached with empathy as she watched him start to walk away. He looked like such a sad, lonesome figure.
“Ellis!” she called after him.
He paused a moment, then turned to look at her.
“I can come back on Monday.”
Ellis looked at her. For once, he wasn’t sneering. He simply nodded, then turned and disappeared.
* * *
Remy walked with Avery toward the Gettysburg College campus where they had agreed to meet with Fillis.
Jesse, Lucy, and Theresa were also coming, so they needed a space big enough for all of them.
Jesse had made it clear that under no circumstances would they meet on a battlefield.
It was far too risky for Lucy, given her sensitivity to sympathy battle pains.
Remy hadn’t thought much about the meeting with Fillis before, but now she was having second thoughts.
“I don’t know about this, Avery,” she said, hearing the nervousness in her voice.
“Why? What’s the matter?” Avery asked.
“It just feels weird that everybody knows all about my family situation. I’m not sorry I told you, of course.
And I’m comfortable talking with Lucy and Theresa sometimes.
But…I told Lucy it was okay to tell Jesse, and now this Fillis woman knows…
It’s so awkward. Like this is some kind of counseling intervention or something.
I’ve spent most of my life hiding my family secrets, and now I feel like everybody’s just feeling sorry for me. Ugh.”
She prided herself on being a strong woman, and she couldn’t bear being pitied.
“Oh, darling, I promise you it won’t be like that,” Avery said, his expression softening with concern. “I think of Fillis as part of my family. She’s a wonderful lady, and I know she wants to meet you. That’s all. I promise.”
Remy nodded, resolving to put on a brave face for Avery’s sake. If this lady was important to Avery, then she was important to Remy. She smiled at him uneasily, and the knot of anxiety grew as she saw the whole group waiting for them on the campus lawn.
Theresa rushed right up to Avery and looked him up and down.
“So! You’re the gorgeous Irishman I’ve heard so much about.”
Avery chuckled, and Remy relaxed a bit. Leave it to Theresa to know how to break the ice.
“Well, I'm Irish. That much I’m sure about.”
“Yeah, ya are!” Theresa said, her blue eyes flashing with amusement and mischief. “That is a fantastic accent. Say something in Irish!”
“He’s not a trained dog, Theresa,” Lucy said dryly.
“Shhh!” Theresa said, waving her off and looking at Avery expectantly.
Avery laughed again, and then said, “Deas bualadh leat, Theresa.”
“Wow,” Theresa said, then looked over at Remy. “It doesn’t even matter what he’s saying, does it? It all sounds sexy as hell.”
Remy laughed warmly, feeling more comfortable by the moment. “Yes, it certainly does!”
“I’m very happy to meet you finally,” Theresa said with a warm smile.
“Likewise,” Avery said with a grin.
Fillis walked over to them, and Remy realized the woman did look vaguely familiar.
She probably had seen her on Steinwehr Avenue from time to time, perpetually dressed in her blue cotton dress.
She had a warm, motherly smile. Remy was still uncomfortable knowing that this woman, a stranger, already knew so much about her ugly past.
“Remy, it’s so nice to finally meet you. Sit down! Sit down!” Fillis said as she sat on the grass and gestured for Remy to sit beside her.
Fillis seemed sweet, and it warmed Remy’s heart to see the way both Avery and Jesse looked at her. They were like two kids with their mama, and she looked at them like they were her pride and joy.
That’s the way real mothers are supposed to be, Remy thought.
Avery sat on the other side of Remy. Fillis looked at Avery, then over at Remy.