Chapter 16
Iwoke up wondering if I would regret doing something so hasty last night. But as I stared at my fresh tattoo through the Saran Wrap, I was at ease.
I always enjoyed being spontaneous, but I’d never gotten permanent ink on a whim. Every tattoo I’d ever gotten had meant something to me, and when this one popped into my mind, I had to look up the definition because it wasn’t even English. But I had a Field of Dreams moment that if I got this, she would come to me.
The foolishness of that idea wasn’t lost on me, but there were so many unexplainable things happening, so I decided not to question it. Regardless of whether the tattoo would be a beacon for my green-eyed dream queen to find me, I still loved it, and I was glad I did it.
Technically, I didn’t have to go to work today, and I told Haley to take the afternoon off. But sometimes editing was easier on my big-screen monitor than on my laptop. And since the place should be quiet, I might get more work done.
After putting on presentable clothing, I walked to the studio. It was another sunny day, which always gave me an extra serotonin boost. The food trucks were cooking up a cacophony of flavors, but somehow they were appetizing. Maybe it was because I hadn’t eaten yet, and my stomach was tricking my nose. Regardless, after passing several places, I decided to feed the beast that was grumbling so loudly I would have been embarrassed had I not been on a crowded sidewalk in New York.
I wasn’t sure what to get, but something caught my attention, and I had to check it out. A little truck I had never seen before was off to the side. It was painted green, white, and red and called “Into Italy.” As I got closer, the fragrant notes of garlic and fresh bread had my mouth watering.
After perusing the menu, I settled on a Pizza Napoletana because I thought it would hit both savoriness cravings and a baked doughy treat. Now, I wouldn’t have any interruptions when I began my editing. I made my way to Full Exposure, ready to start my day.
When I unlocked the door, I noticed the alarm was disabled, and the place was still a mess. I wasn’t upset that Haley hadn’t come in, but I was almost certain I had set the alarm last night. With everything that had been happening, I might have misremembered.
I flipped on the lights and tossed my pizza toward them before I realized who was coming at me.
“Oh, my god. Leia, what are you doing?” Haley swatted away the box, and my food fell to the floor. The gooey cheese dripped on the tile, and my stomach protested as the smell of basil permeated the air.
“Me? This is the second time you’ve scared the shit out of me when I didn’t expect you to be here. What are you, a ninja?”
She laughed, but it sounded more nervous than humorous.
“By the way. What are you doing here? Obviously, not work.” I cocked a brow as I scanned the place, trying to figure out what she was up to.
“I was about to start working, but I arrived right before you. Then you came in, startling me. Why don’t you get set up in your office, and I’ll bring you a cup of tea before I clean up?” She was more fidgety than a squirrel on a caffeine high.
I walked toward her and looked over her shoulder as she grabbed me by the elbow, presumably steering me away from something she didn’t want me to see.
“Whatcha hiding?”
“What do you mean?”
I gave her a look, and she crumbled.
“I’m sorry.” She broke down, but I was confused.
“Sorry?” Finally, I sidestepped her and saw props on a messy bed.
“We don’t even have any clients today, and we didn’t use this stuff last night. Is there another reason—” I stopped myself when I saw the blush creep up her neck to her cheeks.
“I’m going to work in the back. If you could clean this mess up when you get a chance, that would be great.” I wasn’t sure what she was up to until I skated past her and saw a foot sticking out from under one of the backdrops.
I didn’t want to embarrass her any more than she already appeared to be, so I ignored the manly toes aimed pointedly in my direction and kept walking.
A few minutes after firing up my computer, I heard the bells from the front door ring, and then Haley appeared in my doorway with a sheepish expression.
“Yes?” I questioned, but I picked up on her uneasiness right off.
“Boss, I’m so sorry. That was completely unprofessional of me, and I promise nothing like that has ever happened before, nor will it ever happen again,” she told on herself, but I wasn’t surprised.
“Haley, I’m not mad. I don’t care if you act out some fantasies here when we don’t have clients. You’re an adult. Do what you want. I’m sorry I ruined your fun. I wasn’t aware you had this in you.” I smiled, but she still appeared anxious.
“Honestly, I’m tired of being so inhibited. Adam suggested I take the lead, and the only thing I could think of was how Joan, a woman in her sixties, was so carefree with her body, and I wanted that to be me.”
“Haley, sometimes we can get into our own heads. People judge each other all the time, and that judgment can suppress us. Cause us to live more sheltered lives. But the thing is, when we start living for ourselves and not out of fear of what others might say, that’s when we’re liberated. You don’t ever have to worry aboutme criticizing your life because I care about you, and as long as you’re happy, that’s all that matters to me.” I wasn’t sure what kind of upbringing she had, but by the way she always worried, it made me wonder if she wasn’t ever allowed to express herself freely.
“I appreciate you being so understanding, and our talk about the porn thing helped me dig deep inside and figure out what was bothering me. I had to ask myself what was going on. And I was jealous. Not that I thought Adam wanted me to be more like those girls. But that I wanted to be more like them.” She looked down at the ground, and I hated how self-conscious she was.
“You shouldn’t let other people’s opinions affect your happiness. You can do whatever floats your boat as long as you aren’t hurting yourself or anyone else. I’m on your side and support you always, even if you want to top your boyfriend in the studio when no one is here.” I chuckled as I gazed at her, hoping she realized my sentiment was sincere. “I’m going to get back to work, but please take the rest of the day off. If I need anything, I can manage it myself.”
She finally made direct eye contact with me.“Leia,even though you’re my boss, you truly are a wonderful friend, and I appreciate everything you do for me.”
“I’ll always be here for you. Now, seriously, go enjoy your sexual freedom.” I tried to shoo her away, but she stopped and stared at my arm.
“Holy shit.Did you get a new tattoo?” Her eyes were laser-focused on the Saran Wrap.
As proud of it as I was, I wasn’t ready to share it with anyone else yet. A part of me wanted to keep it a secret between me and the girl from my dreams. I wanted her to see it first. That was a foolish idea, but I couldnt stop thinking about it.
“Yes, I got some new ink last night.”
“I can’t see it because it’s wrapped, but what is it? How long have you been planning this? I don’t ever remember seeing that on your schedule.” Her words came out rapidly, and there would be no dodging this.
“No, this was a spur-of-the-moment decision. It’s a puzzle piece with a saying in it. I felt like doing something different. It’s not a big deal, though.”
“You never get a tattoo without putting an extreme amount of thought into it. I find it hard to believe it isn’t a big deal. It’s a permanent fixture on your body. It has to mean something to you, but I wont push the issue if you don’t want to tell me. Although I’m here if there’s anything you ever want to talk about.”
“I appreciate that. But I promise you, this was a whim—nothing special. Okay?”
“Yeah, okay. Well, I can’t wait to see it tomorrow. You’ll show me then, right?”
“Sure. Now, for the last time, get out of here. I have stuff to do, and you have some fantasies to act out.” I said, waggling my eyebrows because it would make her blush.
Her face was red as cherries, and she said, “All right. I’ll leave you to it and see you tomorrow. We should have another calm day, too. You only have one shoot at 9:00, and then the couple from last week is ready to review their shots. That isn’t until 3:00, so you’ll have the afternoon to do more editing if you need to.”
“Sounds good. Thank you.” I waved her on, and she smiled as she left the room.
I pulled up the first session I was going to review. Haley talking about Joan made me want to start with her. She was so much fun to work with, and her personality would come through in the pictures. There were bound to be some gorgeous shots.
I examined the first picture of her in a dark-haired wig and warrior-type outfit. For sixty-ish, she looked damn good. There wasn’t much touching up that needed to be done besides the basic brightness and contrast to ensure the right colors popped. But something changed as I was ready to scroll to the next pic. The computer flashed, and I was no longer looking at Joan’s pale-blue eyes; instead, piercing green eyes were staring at me.
I heard music playing, as hands clutched my hips. It only took me a second to realize it was her. She spun me around, and I saw her whole face: dark curly hair, flawless bronze skin, succulent lips, and, of course, the most tantalizing eyes I’d ever seen. She touched my tattoo and smiled. It was electric.
She was calling me, begging me to find her. I wanted to etch this vision into my brain, but it vanished before I could.
I rubbed my temples, trying to get her back. I closed my eyes, hoping to trigger the flash again. But when I opened them, all I saw was Joan gazing back at me in her various Game of Thrones costumes. How was this happening?
I brought up a different session, hoping it would give me another glimpse of her. It was a couple from a few days ago. They were lying in bed, and she had her head on his chest, gazing into his eyes. It was such a sweet picture, and warmth flooded my body, remembering how much they loved each other. But I couldn’t focus because I only wanted to see her again. I needed to study her—more than a passing glance.
Should I try to lucid dream now? It wasn’t smart to try something I wasn’t very familiar with, especially without someone else around. But I was grasping at straws and desperate to get back to her.
Then, in an instant, there was a person in an Amish-style hat before me. We were on a farm. The noise of animals floated through the air from the distance. I didn’t recognize the woman at first, but when we locked gazes, it was her.
What was going on? The only thing that was the same were her eyes. Was this what she really looked like? Before I could wrap my head around anything, she disappeared again.
“Am I having a stroke?” I said out loud to make sure I could still talk. I took several deep breaths to clear my mind. Was this a hallucination or something? But these images appeared to be real—like I was looking at a person, not just a vision of her.
I was about to shut my computer down when someone else appeared. In front of me now was a redheaded woman in an old-timey nightgown. Her fair skin and freckles were nothing like the previous people, but again, those magnificent orbs were unmistakable. Even if the body changed, she hadn’t. I didn’t understand how or why.
When she tripped and landed in my arms, my heart jumped into my throat, and I never wanted to let her go. The way our bodies melded together was natural—perfect. But like the other visions, she was gone, and I was left empty-handed.
I slowly blinked and willed for something to come back, but my mind was a montage of images I couldn’t organize. I needed to get out of here and try to figure out how to bring her back. I believed the first vision was her in this world because the hair was the same as I remembered when we ran into each other that morning. But there had to be a reason for the other women, too. I just didn’t have a clue what it was.
How had my life become a jigsaw puzzle, with each piece leaving me a fragmented story I couldnt unravel?